I Would Love To Love You
I see you staring at me often, Chakotay. You don't think I notice. It makes my heart quicken, and I want to turn to you and stare back. But, I can't. I've left my feelings in the Alpha Quadrant. Here I'm just the Captain. Kathryn doesn't exist. I can't be her out here. The Captain takes up all my time. There's nothing left for Kathryn. I keep hoping that someday you'll give up and move on to another. Someone who can openly love you. Someone you can hold in your arms and kiss with abandon. Someone you can make dear sweet love to. I imagine that you'd be quite a lover.
Kathryn closed her eyes and began to daydream as he sat next to her on the bridge. In her daydream, they were in his bed making mad passionate love. He was kissing her breasts while his hand was busy below. She began to feel the wetness in her pants. Oh God! I want him so desperately. Oh please, Chakotay take me.
From the look on Kathryn's face, Chakotay knew what she was thinking especially since he heard her whisper his name. He just hoped that Tom hadn't heard it. He knew he had to stop it before Tom turned around and saw her.
Suddenly Chakotay deliberately dropped the padd he had been reading. It made a loud noise as it hit the edge of the console between them. The noise brought her out of her daydream.
She turned to look at him and she saw his smile. Suddenly, she knew that he knew what she had been thinking. Her face began to turn a lovely shade of pink.
"I'll be in my ready room going over reports, Commander. I wish to not be disturbed unless the ship is under attack!" She rose from her seat and hurried to the ready room.
Chakotay knew what she was going to do. Several months back when she had been with an away team down on one of the planets, she had commed him to go to her ready room and look in the top right hand drawer of her desk and get a padd. She needed him to read off some trade figures to her. He had gone there, but had accidentally looked into the right hand bottom drawer of her desk. He was shocked at finding a dildo. Not that he was surprised that she used one. But, he thought that she'd only use one in the privacy of her quarters not in her ready room. He had never mentioned finding it to her. But, now….he just might.
Kathryn stayed in the ready room for a couple of hours before she returned to the bridge. As she sat down next to him with a smile on her face, he leaned over and whispered, "Feeling much better now, Kathryn?" Then he had the audacity to wink at her.
With those words, Kathryn knew that he knew exactly what she had been doing in the ready room. But, she wasn't ready for what he said next, "You know, anytime all you have to do is let me know. The real thing is so much better."
Kathryn sat there in shock and again turned an even darker shade of pink than earlier. Turning to him, she gave him her best death glare. He just smiled. That glare had no effect on him at all.
He had ticked her off. How dare he! She decided to embarrass him if she could, "So, what do you do, Chakotay? Those are nice hands! They must feel pretty good around something stiff."
Tom's head came up. Apparently she had said it a little too loud. He turned around in his seat. All he saw was the command team staring at one another. In seconds he was sending messages to both Belanna and Harry. Something was definitely going on between the command team. They'd been dancing around each other for months. Everyone, but them, apparently thought Kathryn and Chakotay should be together. They were too stubborn for their own good!
Fifteen minutes later the second shift people began to filter onto the bridge. The command team got up and left. They took the turbo lift to deck three where their quarters were next door to each other. Neither spoke in the turbo lift. Nor did they speak on the quick walk down to their quarters. Both were thinking about the days events.
Later in the evening, Chakotay checked to see if Sandrines was running and found that it was. He decided to go down there instead of sitting around in his quarters moping about Kathryn.
When he walked in, he saw that it was very busy. He walked over to the bar and ordered a scotch and water. Taking his glass, he looked around for a place to sit. He saw Belanna waving to him to join the group she was with. At first he didn't want to as the group was made up of women. But, there really was no where else to sit. So, he walked over and sit down.
"Bad day on the bridge, Chakotay?"
"Boring. I don't know which is worse, days like today or days we have to fight to survive."
Maria Livingstone looked at him and asked, "If you don't mind my asking, why aren't you ever in here with the Captain anymore?"
"She's always busy."
"Chakotay, you need to find someone to be with. You're always alone."
"I know, Belanna. I just can't."
"Well you need to quit pining for the Captain."
"I'm not."
"Oh sure, of course not!"
Celes meekly said, "You need to date a bunch of different woman. Make the Captain jealous."
"That's right!" Belanna said. "I'd help you if I could, but since I'm married it wouldn't work." She looked around the table.
Susan Nicoletti spoke up, "I'll do it. How about you, Marla? And, you Angela? Celes?"
"It would be fun. But, how are we going to do it?"
They sat and talked for quite awhile. Belanna said, "I think I can get Tom and Harry to help. Maybe even Ayala."
They sat for the next hour and made plans.
The next day, Kathryn went to Chakotay's door and rang the buzzer. She thought they could walk down to the mess hall together and have breakfast which they often did. There was no answer as he had already left.
She went to the mess hall and looked around. Not seeing him, she went through the line and picked out a couple of things that looked edible. She went over to their usual table and sat down. Belanna, Tom, Harry, Marla and Angela was sitting at a table in front of her.
In just a couple of minutes Susan and Chakotay entered the mess hall laughing. Kathryn looked up hearing Chakotay's laughter. She was surprised to see him walking in with Susan Nicoletti with his arm around her. Kathryn continued to stare as they went through the buffet line. The whole time Belanna was watching the look on Kathryn's face.
Susan and Chakotay walked over and sat at the table next to the group. Soon they were laughing and talking and holding hands.
Kathryn pretended not to notice, but they all knew she was watching. As Chakotay leaned over and kissed Susan on the cheek, Kathryn got up and left. They all stared after her.
"She's not a happy camper, Chakotay," Tom noted.
"But guys, try to remember that I'm out to win her not be killed by her. I do value what little life I have."
"It's ok. She'll come to her senses."
When Chakotay, Tom and Harry arrived on the bridge, Kathryn was already there reading a padd. She barely spoke. It was another boring day on the bridge. So, the crew was talking back and forth.
Tom suddenly turned to Chakotay, "We've been thinking about having another pool tournament. Want to play? We haven't had a pool tournament around here for awhile. Captain, what about you?"
Without looking up from her padd, she replied, "I'm far too busy."
"Well, Chakotay, you could always ask Marla when you have dinner with her tonight. She plays well. She's hot too."
"Hot is an understatement, Paris!" Chakotay grinned a huge grin. The Captain pretended not to hear what they were saying. But she had seen the grin on Chakotay's face.
That evening, Kathryn wanted to go to Sandrine's, but she didn't want to see Chakotay with Marla. Instead she stayed in her quarters and read reports.
The next morning, Kathryn used her replicator for breakfast and then headed to the bridge. Everyone else was there except Chakotay. He came in a few minutes late. Apologizing for being late, he took his seat.
Tom turned to him, "What's the matter, Chakotay? Marla wear you out?"
Kathryn gripped her chair arms. She pretended not to hear, but they could tell she was unhappy about it.
"Mind your own business, Paris. You've been late for duty shifts after having a hot night!" Chakotay thought that sounded pretty good. After all, he didn't say that he had a hot night. It was just implied. He didn't really want to mislead her, but he was getting desperate, besides being extremely horny! The only woman he wanted was Kathryn. He often sat next to her on the bridge daydreaming of all the things he wanted to do with her in bed. He bet if she ever let her hair down, she'd be hot.
Later as Kathryn sat in the mess hall eating lunch and going over the training report that Tuvok had given her, she saw Chakotay and Angela Hemmings sit down at a table near by. She watched them out of the corner of her eye. Chakotay was the perfect gentleman. They seemed deep in conversation.
Kathryn began to feel lonely as she looked around the mess hall and saw so many of her crew paired off. There was times that she wished she could be just an ordinary crewman. A Captain had far too much responsibility and wasn't suppose to get involved with their crew. However, if Kathryn had to admit it, she was lonely. She missed having someone that cared for Kathryn and not just the Captain.
She decided that if Chakotay was going to continue to eat lunch with different women every day, she's stop coming into the mess hall. She'd have Neelix send up a tray to the ready room. She smiled as she had a plan as well.
That lunch was the last time Kathryn ate in the mess hall until much later.
It was a few days later that the little group realized she wasn't eating her meals in there.
As Tom, Harry, Belanna, Susan, Mike and Chakotay sat around a large table in the mess hall, they decided that making Kathryn jealous just wasn't working it. They thought they had screwed up badly. What could they do now?
Chakotay asked the computer for the whereabouts of the Captain. He was told she was in the ready room. "That does it. I'm going up there and confront her!"
"Sure, go ahead. We'll all visit you in the brig!" Harry laughed. " Or, maybe sick bay. She'll kill you!"
Chakotay rang the ready room chime. Before the door opened all the way, he marched in and over to the couch where Kathryn was sitting. He stopped in front of her. She looked up and saw a very determined look on his face. He reached down and grabbed her arm.
Pulling her up into his arms, he kissed her passionately. Then he began to nibble at her neck. She smiled as she thought, Glad Celes told me of their little plan! But, I think mine was so much better. And, it worked!
Turning her face up to him, she kissed him back with as much passion as she had. Men! They're really putty in a woman's hands!