With a transfigured gaze Robert looked around the Pub close the Princeton Plainsboro. Meanwhile he normally came here after a long day at the hospital with his co-workers, so he sat tonight all alone with his beer at the bar. Usually it didn´t need too long until he made new acquaintances or caught the attention of the female guests at least, if he wanted to. He was what people most likely called an open minded person as well as he was aware that his appearance wasn't too bad. Mother Nature gifted him well and also the mention of his profession showed no insignificant effect. Actually, he had almost everything he could dream of and still he wasn´t able to explain this undetermined feeling of emptiness that lately grew stronger and stronger. He looked at the two young women that studied him from the other end of the counter; at least one of them expressed a clear interest by her glance and gestures. Normally he wouldn´t have slipped away a chance like this during the past months but sickened him the thought about it simply at this very moment. No, he shouldn´t have opened the box containing Cameron´s things ever again. Now he cursed himself inwardly that he had done by some unknown emotion. Everything seemed well until he found the countless small details of their once so happy marriage, memories that he wanted to terminate in this box forever after their divorce. It already needed so long until he was able to feel some joy again, the ever-present pain and emptiness no longer were his daily companion. At this time he decided to never become that vulnerable again, to never be afraid to end up as lonely and embittered as House. Nevertheless, it was precisely that sense of superficiality he had decided for, which afraid himself tonight or already longer than he wanted to admit.
Once was enough to last forever
It took years just to put me back together
And I don't wanna fall in love again
No, I don´t wanna fall in love again
He was about to order another beer, as he suddenly heard a determined, to the bartender directed "I think he had enough", behind his back. Presumably he really already had too much to register that this sentence actually was for his, as he eventually turned around and looked into familiar eyes that lay with a worried glimpse on him. He knew this glance too well, since Hadley considered him lately more often than he would have liked to, but what was she doing here? And how did she know where he was? He had to confess that during the years a real friendship developed between him and her. Neither that kind you only call on holidays, nor those with whom you just enjoy "certain bonuses." No, he and 13 had a kind of friendship that was rarely found between men and women. They took responsibility for each other, when they represented a common theory in front of House, something that often was a dangerous thing. On the other hand they fought without regard for consequences if necessary. But the honesty and respect that developed through the time was far more worth than any adventure it could have ever been which was on his mind initially. She seemed to recognize the pain in his eyes - at least he thought to read this from her glance, which she still hadn´t averted. His world was upside down, the pain that he tried to repress for a too long time felt out of the sudden so strong again, so indescribably ripping that he was unable to free himself from this abysm. But suddenly she was standing there, his friend that also knew too well to be trapped in this labyrinth of feelings. Perhaps this mutuality strengthened their friendship tonight even a bit more.
Can somebody safe me?
Come on and safe me now
Is there anybody here who can help me out?
´Cause my heart is breaking
And everything´s upside down
Is there anybody here who can help me out?
Can you help me out?
Remy took away his glass und put it out of reach. With a simple "I know that it´s hard sometimes", she sat down beside him. "We all have those demons of our past that haunt us every now and then, it´s a thing we can´t escape from." Yes, his co-worker and friend knew him too well. By now, in this very moment she was able to read him like an open book. Also she found herself each day at the edge of this cliff, whose stormy waters threatened to tear her into it´s depths. Even if they might have had different reasons, they joined the common fear to open up for life again.
Just draw me a line, I think I´m sinking
She´s pulled in the year, what was I thinking
´Cause I don't wanna fall in love again
No, I don´t wanna fall in love again
Probably for the first time in ages, Robert admitted right in that moment that he had reached the end of a journey – a journey that consisted to escape from his feelings. Here he sat, drunk at a bar, facing the reality which held him up an ugly mirror reflection. He didn´t like the person he became after the divorce of Allison, a thing, he realized even stronger as he once again looked over to the women at the other end of the counter, who still observed him. He wanted to get away from this lifestyle, away from this superficiality, which made things so meaningless. But would he be strong enough, now that it felt like he was robbing through the swamp of old habits on his knees? Would somebody help him? Would somebody be able to help him?
Can you help me out?
Now I´m on my knees
Come and safe me please
´Cause I´m on my knees
Again, it was Hadley that interrupted his thoughts. Just by now he realized that he remained silent all about the time she sat beside him. She grabbed his arm to drag him of the stool with a simple "let´s get out of here, clean air will be good for you", as he held her back with a gesture. For a moment they looked at each other with a questioning glance, before Robert uttered what he kept so long inside, locked away in a box full of memories. "I can´t do it alone. My world´s still upside down and I don´t know if there´s anyone out there who is able to help me." He paused for a second but didn´t give her the opportunity to respond before he went on with an almost pleading voice: "Please tell me that it all will be okay again. Can you help me out to make it happen?"
Remy didn´t believe that Robert´s statement was only to blame on the alcohol. Presumably it brought up what he tried to suppress all the time more or less successful. She recognized that they had a lot in common. Also she knew the futile efforts to hide briefly from her very own reality. She knew the journey to be looking for something meaningful but fearing to find it at the same time, because it would mean to open up to the world, to be vulnerable again – a vulnerability that would mean pain in the end. Instead of answering, she just nodded and pulled him with her body supporting down the bar stool while gently repeating: "Let´s get out of here, clean air will be good for you."
Can somebody safe me?
Come on and safe me tonight
Just tell me everything will be all right
´Cause my heart is breaking
And everything´s upside down
Is there anybody here who can who help me out?
Can you help me out?