Total Drama Cartoon Network
Episode 1-
"Welcome to the Island"
(Notes- This should be technically in the crossover section, but no one really reviews there anymore, so, to get enough feedback, I'm going to stick it in the regular section, since Chris, Chef, and cameos from the contestants are in it. I'm not sure whether or not if I'm continuing my other story, "Total Drama Revenge of the Revenge of the Island." I'm just going to take a break from it since I basically got a lot of the characters wrong and it's just really frustrating for me. But, I'm writing this section after I wrote some of this chapter, and it's definitely more fun writing with more cartoony characters than the actual ones of Total Drama. No couples, but a few crushes and new friendships will be formed. Please R&R, and please take the poll at the end of the chapter. By the way, I don't own any characters at all.)
Chris is standing on the docks of Camp Wawanakwa. "Hello, my name is Chris McLean. I am a TV show host, and I am going to be with you for 26 episodes. This show is different from other reality shows. This show is Total Drama. No, this doesn't feature the Generation One, or Generation Two. It only features 22 Cartoon Network characters from the 90's, to the 2000's, and now! See some of your favorite characters duke it out in complete drama and competition. This is Total…Drama…Cartoon Network! We would play our theme song but we haven't filmed it yet. Of course. Chef! Why didn't we film the… he's not here, is he? Ugh, I'll get it done though."
Mordecai and Rigby are standing on the docks, waiting for the cruise with the 22 contestants to show up. Mordecai notices the camera rolling and starts to announce.
"Hello viewing world, and welcome to Total Drama Cartoon Network! Ooooooooooooooooooh! Rigby and I will be your co-hosts for this event. Grim, Billy, Mandy, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Sheep from the Big City, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Samurai Jack, Gumball, Darwin, I.M. Weasel, I.R. Baboon, Lazlo, Cow, Chicken, Finn, Jake, and Dexter will go through serious challenges to win one heck of a spin-off series! We have cameras on the cruise right now to show you what they are doing to prepare for the competition! Phew, man, why did we sign up for this, Rigby?"
"We didn't, remember. Benson said that we need to learn responsibility so he signed us up for this. If we didn't do it we'd get fired!"
"Ugh, this is too much work. Let's go play some video games! Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!" Mordecai and Rigby leave.
On the cruise, we see that in the very front is Cow and Chicken dancing their usual dance from their theme song. I.R. Baboon is dancing along with his victory dance. Weasel looks very annoyed.
"Mama had a chicken!" Chicken starts, and they soon start to sing their theme song.
"Mama had a cow!"
"Dad was proud, he didn't care how! Do do do, do do do do, Cow!" They keep singing, and Baboon walks over to Weasel.
"I are dancing, Weasel! I are so better than you!" All of a sudden, Weasel starts expertly break dancing, and this shuts the red bottomed baboon.
"I am sorry to say, Baboon, you can't beat me at anything."
"I are can!" Baboon starts dancing again, only to fall off the cruise. "I are hurt! I are needing help from Weasel! Weasel!"
"Eh, he'll make it. He's a cartoon," Weasel shrugs, and starts humming the Cow and Chicken theme song. "Hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
The camera then focuses on three adolescents looking around. "Hallo!" the big one says, looking in a cupboard. "Jawbreakers, where are you?" His name was Ed. The bumbling oaf walks over to his pals, Edd and Eddy. "Hey, have you guys seen that jawbreaker stash Chris said there would be?"
"Um, Ed, Eddy, I fear that Chris has duped us to pull a sinister joke, because why would there be a secret jawbreaker stash on a cruise ship?" Edd asks, and Eddy just slaps him in the face.
"Sockhead, you can't get anything in life with that kind of attitude. Now help me look for these jawbreakers or I'll pound you to a pulp!" Eddy says, and Edd nervously continues. Ed catches a glimpse of Chicken, and freaks out.
"Gasp! Hug the chicken!" Ed grabs Chicken and hugs him until he can't breathe.
"Let go of my brother you big ape! Mmmmmmm!" Cow pounces on Ed and frees Chicken. "Oh big brother, are you alright?"
"Little sis, if this competition kills me, do one thing for me!"
"What is it?"
"Convince Cartoon Network to put our pilot back on the air!"
"But why, that was the darkest thing I've ever performed in!"
"Just do it, because I miss my younger years in performing. I feel I'm getting old, even if I am just 11."
"Ed," Edd walks over to Ed lying on the ground. "What in Sam's Hill are you doing?"
"I was hugging the chicken!" Ed says.
"Ed, we went over this. When you see Cow and Chicken, don't go pouncing on Chicken. He has humanistic qualities just like you and me!"
"Geez, Double D, way to be a killjoy." Eddy joins his two friends. "Hey, I'm guessing there are no jawbreakers on this joint, so why don't we scam that little red-headed kid over there?" Eddy points in the direction of Dexter, who accidentally blew some chemicals up. "So? What are we waiting for?"
"Um, Eddy, Dexter is a genius. He could probably outwit us, and…" Edd is interrupted.
"Sockhead, trust me, I know what I'm doing." Eddy smugly walks over to Dexter, who is messing with the motor of the ship. "Hey, little man, why don't we be in an alliance together? For just 75 cents, you get to hang with a giant lump, the king of awesomeness, that's me, and brainiac nerd boy. What do you say?"
"I'm not falling for that one, little man!" Dexter laughs and Eddy looks irritated. "Wait, did you say that there was another genius on this show? Heheheh! Yeah, what kind of genius could he be?"
Edd walks over to Dexter and decides to randomly say the definition and annunciation of the longest word in the dictionary. "That was a little fun fact of the day, huh Dexter?" Dexter has a shocked expression on his face.
"Urgh, competition, well we'll see what goes down. In fact no one will have to see what goes down, because I'll win! Heheheheh!" Eddy backs away slowly in fear.
Near the back of the boat, Gumball and Darwin are playing rock-paper-scissors. Darwin, thanks to the lack of fingers, keeps putting out paper, and Gumball puts out scissors.
"Ha! Scissors beats paper!" Gumball says triumphantly.
"Oh man, how come I always lose?" Darwin asks innocently, and Gumball snickers. Sheep walks over to them.
"Baa."
"Oh, hey Sheep," Gumball says, "What's goin' on?" Gumball notices that Sheep has scissor shaped hands. "Hey, want to play rock-paper-scissors?"
"Baa."
"I'll take that as a yes!" Sheep looks worried. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Hey! Rock beats scissors, I win!"
"Baa."
"Are you upset, or happy? Eh, whatever."
Across from them are Grim and Samurai Jack, and they both have pineapples. "Alright, I'll use me scythe and you'll use your sword. Whoever can cut through these pineapples the fastest wins. Oh, I just thought of something. You're a fruit ninja!" Grim starts laughing hysterically, and Samurai Jack smirks.
"Actually, I'm a samurai."
"Well that makes the joke completely useless and stupid. Darn it, I thought I had one there. Oh well, ready, and…" Mandy cuts Grim off before he can start.
"Grim, where's my root beer that you were supposed to get me?" Mandy asks.
"Well, I, uh, it was the samurai's fault! Yeah!"
"Hello little girl, what is your name?" asks Samurai Jack, and Mandy grabs him by the neck.
"I am not just a little girl; I'm your worst nightmare! Kapeesh!" Samurai Jack slowly nods and walks away.
"Hey, Mandy, look what I found under the boat!" Billy says from behind with a snorkel and a piece of the boat engine.
"You idiot!" The boat stops and they are in the lakes of Camp Wawanakwa, about 2 miles from their destination.
"Contestants," Chris starts over the ship's intercom, "I would like to inform you that the boat has stopped thanks to Billy. But, don't fear, we will come up with a solution to suit you victims, um, I mean contestants! Carry on."
Lazlo is doing backflips, and then runs into Mandy. "Oh man, even though the boat stopped, I'm so excited that we still get to hang out with each other while the time passes! Oh yeah, by the way, have you guys seen Mike, Lu, or Og? Because I thought they were supposed to be here."
"Man, I am surrounded by idiots. Look, Lazlo, Mike, Lu, and Og didn't make it because they weren't popular enough!"
"But, but, they were what inspired me to star in my own Cartoon Network Show! They're my idols! How could they not be here! That's like saying Mac and Bloo aren't here either!"
"They aren't genius, there was a big get together at Foster's and they couldn't make it!"
"So, what you're saying is that…"
"Raj, Clam, and Patsy aren't here either! Just can you shut up!"
"I was just going to ask why Sheep is here. I thought everyone forgot about him."
"That's it, you ask too many questions. Grim, Billy, carry me out of here!" Mandy snaps and Grim and Billy carry her away.
Grim and Billy walk past an orange bottom with feet on the deck of the ship. They look up and see a giant orange body. In the clouds are Finn and Jake, who are apparently looking for giants.
"Dude, this doesn't look like the Land of Ooo at all. This place doesn't even have giants in their clouds! What a rip!" Finn says in frustration. Jake, by only his head, tries to reason with him.
"Hey, I thought I saw a giant in that white cloud over there. Maybe there is one!"
"Schmowzow! Really? What, which cloud?"
"Um, I don't know, I think it was fluffy."
"The clouds are all fluffy and white, dude! Let's just go back."
Finn and Jake stretch back down onto the ship, and meet I.R. Baboon who is soaked to the bone.
"I are wet thanks to I.M. Weasel! I are hating that weasel!" Baboon crosses his arms. Courage runs past him with a scared expression.
"Has anyone seen Muriel? I can't find her or Eustace anywhere!" Courage says.
Jake answers. "Courage, Muriel isn't competing." By the sound of those words, Courage immediately faints. Running past him are the Powerpuff Girls having a foot race.
"Eat my dust, Bubbles!" Buttercup says, and Bubbles feels hurt and slows down.
"You didn't have to be so mean about it!" Bubbles says. Further ahead, it is seen that Mandy finally did get her root beer, but she spilled a splash of it. Blossom, in second place, accidentally slips on the splash, and she falls into Darwin's arms.
Light is shining on Darwin as Blossom looks. She blushes, and then snaps out of it. "Oh, sorry Darwin. I should probably look where I'm going from now on."
"Um, okay I guess." Darwin puts Blossom down safely, and she runs away. He points his direction towards Gumball, who is winning endlessly in rock-paper-scissors against Sheep. "Hey, Gumball, do you think that the little kindergartner has a crush on me?"
"Dude, she's a kindergartner. Little kids have crushes on the mature ones like us all the time! That's because we are awesome and mature, in fact, a little too mature for the youngsters! That's what makes adolescence so great – you get respect by the ones under you!" Gumball accidentally forgets to clench his fist like a rock, and finally loses. "Wait, I wasn't paying attention!" Sheep does a happy jig and leaves. "Oh man."
"Attention Cartoon Network stars," Chris starts on the intercom, "thanks to Billy, you guys will all have to swim back to shore. But, you better be dry when you arrive, because we're going to have a surprise first challenge!" Everyone moans. "Oh, and for a little encouragement, I'm going to sink the boat if you don't move! Go!" Everyone frantically jumps off. Cow and Ed are both hugging Chicken as they fall, much to Chicken's annoyance. Finn is stretching down on Jake. Edd is floating down safely thanks to his hat, and the Powerpuff Girls are flying to the island. The others, excluding Baboon, make it to the island safely as well, even though they had to swim for two miles while in strenuous waters. Baboon on the other hand is still stranded in the water.
"I are in not a good spot right now!" Luckily for him, Weasel saves him, except he keeps thinking that he could've saved himself, although that is far from the truth. Chris, Mordecai, and Rigby are there greeting the contestants.
"Welcome all of you to your first challenge!" Chris says.
"What?" Buttercup starts. "That wasn't the challenge?"
"Nope! It turns out Chef forgot to film you guys for the theme song, so, the first challenge is to successfully work together to make the theme song. The person who does the best gets a special mystery reward. Now, take some cameras and get filming, theme song wannabes! Go!" Cow and Chicken grab their own camera.
"So, what should we do, sis?" asks Chicken.
"Ooh! Why don't we dress up like fairy princesses and frolic around the island?" Cow asks.
"Yeah, we could do that, or we could film us with armor, looking cool and then I'd woo all the ladies on this island, while you stand there being my bodyguard!" Chicken says.
"Wow, that idea is really….awesome! Why didn't I think of that? Come on; let's get to filming big brother!" Cow grabs Chicken and they head into the woods. Samurai Jack, Finn, and Jake are also a group.
"OK, Samurai Jack, Finn and I thought it would be cool if we got some footage of fighting each other. Then all of us faint because we die from each other's awesomeness!" says Jake.
"Jake, Finn, I am opposed to fighting actual living things, except for Aku, of course," Samurai Jack says.
"Come on, dude. Why don't we pretend to fight each other?" Finn suggests. Jack nods, and Jake starts the camera.
Baboon was by himself, and he started playing his red bottom like bongos. "Look what I are doing viewing peoples!" Baboon then trips over himself and slams into the camera. "Oof!"
Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, and an uninvited Sheep are about to roll.
Buttercup talks to her sisters. "What's the sheep doing here?"
"Well," Blossom says, "he doesn't really have any friends here, so we could let him in and it could cheer him up."
"Baa."
"Now, girls, we need to figure out what we're going to do."
"I know, maybe we could race together, with Sheep behind sweating, trying to catch up!" Buttercup says.
"You know, for a montage of theme song clips, that's not a bad idea. No offense, Sheep, but do you mind if we picture that you're slow and that you can't keep up?"
"Baa."
"I'll take that as a yes!" Blossom ignores the fact that Sheep looked upset.
Meanwhile, Weasel and Lazlo are working together. Weasel decided, apparently, to go along with Lazlo's idea of both of them dressing up like Bean Scouts and saluting towards the camera. Weasel, without trying to hurt Lazlo's feelings, decides to suggest a different idea.
"Um, Lazlo, are you sure a Bean Scout uniform would suit me well?"
"Of course! Bean Scout uniforms suit everyone perfectly, big or small!"
"Wouldn't you think that it would be weird for a non-bean scout to wear a bean scout uniform?"
"That does make sense. Wait, I have another idea! I came up with this for a horror movie after Slinkman gave me the patch for Artistic Vision." Lazlo tells Weasel his idea, and Weasel sighs in disappointment. Courage goes over to them.
"Hey, guys, can I join your group? Everyone else is already taken!" Weasel nods, and tells Courage Lazlo's idea. Courage is upset. "Are you serious, we all get blown up?"
"Not for real! We're just going to be wearing space suits in a cardboard rocket being ambushed by asteroids, then, our helmets crack, and thanks to the lack of oxygen, we all implode and our guts go everywhere! I'd watch a show with that theme song!" Weasel and Courage look at each other nervously, and then reluctantly agree.
Dexter joins Gumball and Darwin, who are both dancing their victory dance from "The Laziest."
"I think this dance is only for two people," Dexter says.
"I know," Gumball says, "so you can just stand in the background and pretending to wave to your parents or something. I don't know. Just Chris ran out of cameras so you're basically stuck with us. And, Darwin, action!"
"Rolling…now!" Darwin says, and they start to do the dance while Dexter looks very annoyed in the back. "Alright, that was great! Take two, and…"
"Wait a minute!" says a frustrated Dexter. "How many takes are we doing?"
"About 300! We want to make it perfect!"
"Urgh! Fine, just roll the stupid camera!" After about 296 takes, they stop.
"I think that's about 300, Gumball, now let's watch them all!" Darwin notices something wrong. "Um, Gumball, Dexter, I think I left the lens cap on!" Dexter slaps his own head, then Darwin's, and then Gumball's.
"You idiots! Darwin, take off that lens cap! We're only doing one take, because I don't think I can watch you stupid people dance for much longer! Action!"
Grim, Billy, and Mandy are arguing over what to do. "I say we do a little 3 second skit where I kill you both!" Grim says, laughing maniacally.
"No, skeleton face, we're doing a skit about me beating you both into the ground!" Mandy says. Billy retorts.
"I say I pick my nose in front of the camera!"
"Wait," Grim says, "I have a solution to this. How about I 'kill' Billy who's picking his nose, while you beat him into the ground at the same time!"
Mandy agrees. "Good work, Grim, but just know that I'm in charge!"
"Deal!"
"Wait," Billy says, "am I actually going to be killed?" Grim points his scythe at Billy.
"Yes, but, due to that law that I have to be your friends, I have to bring you back to life. But Mandy is perfectly allowed to kill you, so I wouldn't mind if that happened." Mandy starts rolling the camera, and Billy starts picking his nose.
Ed, Edd, and Eddy are standing behind a stand that says "Lemonade. 50 Cents." They plan on doing that for less than a second.
"Eddy, this is little skit is lacking vision and creativity," Edd says. Eddy shuts him up with duct tape.
"Relax, will ya Sockhead? It's just a theme song!" Eddy says.
"I forgot my underwear, guys!" Ed says, scratching his pants, and Edd and Eddy back up slowly.
Everyone is now standing at the docks, looking at a TV Chris has set up.
"OK," Chris starts, "you have given the producers each of your videos to mix into a theme song. Some of the scenes were boring and uninteresting, while some were just… out there. OK, let's roll the theme song!" Chris plays the "I Wanna Be Famous" theme song.
Theme Song:
The usual scene of the camera panning up the cliff is scene, then it cuts to the Powerpuff Girls racing, and Sheep trying to keep up. It then cuts to the scene with Edd and Eddy backing away from Ed. It then cuts to Chicken wearing armor, "attracting" a bunch of cardboard women. Cow, randomly after 2 seconds, starts beating them up, and Chicken trying to get her to stop, but then she beats him up too by mistake. Baboon is then doing his victory dance, and then slams into the camera. It is now Grim zapping a nose-picking Billy with his scythe after Mandy brutally beats him up. Dexter is then in the background with an annoyed expression from Gumball and Darwin's dancing. Samurai Jack, Finn, and Jake are "fighting each other" and they faint from each other's awesomeness. Then, the music randomly stops, and is replaced with techno-pop music. It is showing Weasel, Courage, and Lazlo with a crudely drawn space background getting hit by a paper Mache asteroid. They then crash land into a different asteroid, and all of a sudden, the three throw tomato sauce and uncooked sausage at the camera. And, Lazlo's "creative vision" is shown at the end when he writes on the camera in tomato sauce "The End?" and horror music is now being played at the end.
End
Everyone was gazing in awe at the last part of the theme song. The three who shot it feel awkward, until everyone starts cheering.
"That was… the best theme song in Total Drama history!" Chris says, clapping for Courage, Weasel, and Lazlo. "Now the very special reward you won is…." The three are listening in anticipation. "Nothing! That's what's so special about it!"
"What, my awesome artistic vision that Slinkman said I had back at camp was used for nothing!" Lazlo says in an upset tone.
"Yeah, we just really needed a theme song. That scene at the end was awesomely disturbing! Good job! Now, to announce the already decided teams!"
"Wait," Weasel starts, "who came in last?"
"Who do you think?" Everyone stares at I.R. Baboon.
"I are confused."
"Anyway, when I call your name, sand over by the number 1. Blossom, Bubbles, Cow, Chicken, Courage, Samurai Jack, Jake, Ed, Eddy, Grim, and Billy." The eleven stand over to the number one. "Now, Edd, Sheep, I.M. Weasel, I.R. Baboon, Lazlo, Dexter, Buttercup, Finn, Gumball, Darwin, and Mandy, go stand by the number 2. Team 1, you will now be called the Dangerous Deer!" The Dangerous Deer cheer, as a green symbol with a deer on it floats over their heads, thanks to editing. "And Team 2, you will now be dubbed the Vicious Seagulls!" The Vicious Seagulls cheer and a red symbol with a seagull on it shows up. "Now, as usual, confessionals will be held in the outhouse. I need one person from each team to come up and roll a die. The person with the highest number wins an advantage for their team in the first elimination challenge. By random, the two representatives of the teams are Blossom for the Dangerous Deer, and Baboon for the Vicious Seagulls!" The Seagulls sigh at the thought that their most unlucky member will be choosing their fate in the next challenge.
Baboon goes up confidently, and, of course, rolls a 1. Blossom goes up and rolls a 6.
"Alright, the Dangerous Deer get a key for the next challenge, and the Vicious Seagulls get nothing!" The Seagulls sigh. Chris then signs off the show. "How will the Vicious Seagulls do in the next challenge? What other skills did Slinkman tell Lazlo he supposedly had? And who will survive the first elimination challenge? Find out on Total…Drama…Cartoon Network!"
Poll (if you are interested): Which team do you think will lose and who do you think is going home first in the next chapter? This doesn't change the elimination order, though, as it has already been decided. In the comments section, answer if you want to who you think will go home and which team will lose. I'll post the results on the beginning of the next chapter. I'm going to do this poll thing for as long as people are doing them. Thanks for reading and hopefully expect another chapter soon.
Dangerous Deer – Blossom, Bubbles, Cow, Chicken, Courage, Samurai Jack, Jake, Ed, Eddy, Grim, Billy
Vicious Seagulls – Edd, Sheep, I.M. Weasel, I.R. Baboon, Lazlo, Dexter, Buttercup, Finn, Gumball, Darwin, Mandy