Warning: heavy mentions of multiple partners and gang bang. Eventual public sex-.
Chapter 1: Why the SonSilently Lay on the Offering Table
He sees them through a door left ajar, in a room dimly lit by moonshine. Two silhouettes. One he knows well, the other he might have seen before. It isn't the first time.
He hears them through the walls. They're thin like that. He doesn't listen, but it's hard to disregard with how the voices grow in volume, and then hush for a breather, and repeat. They come and go like a wave, and at the end they lose their rhythm until the sound becomes ugly. But Levi never stays that long.
The first voice he knows well, and the other too. It's perhaps the third time.
But those are only the ones he just happens to catch by chance. He knows it is a more frequent occurrence.
It isn't his business to care about how often Eren Jaeger spreads his legs for the various men and women in the military.
Over the time he has come to realise that so many more are in that way affiliated to Eren, judging by the looks they give him. So many people staring him in the eye, not like lovers, but holding a promise. Levi knows too well what kind of promise. Still, it isn't his business. Not even when the commander too is exchanging glances with the boy, albeit carefully, discreetly.
He watches his distorted reflection dance on the surface of his dull, only lukewarm soup, and it stares back at him.
„Erwin…don't you think you should be smarter than doing that kid in your free time?" Levi wonders why he doesn't simply stay out of the whole matter.
The Commander, of course, eyes him from the side without so much as showing a reaction.
Erwin takes a calm swig of his tea. „It was a single occurrence. Hardly a problem, right?"
„Ah," Levi says in either agreement or vacuous reply.
„Odd, though. With the way our humanity's last hope is jumping from one companion to another, I would have expected you to be one of them. But then again, maybe you're not the type to fall for someone's seduction so easily?" Erwin is perhaps mocking him; it's always difficult to be sure when it comes to him.
„Maybe." Levi pushes his bowl with a gruff groan, and rises from the comfort-killing wooden seat. „But that doesn't matter anyway, because he has not once come to ask me."
One night, on the way to his quarters, he stumbles upon Eren almost bare on the cold stone floor. Around him three men grinning and hovering above the mostly limp figure. They gasp at the sight of the Captain, scramble to escape with embarrassed and guilty expressions, murmuring unintelligible things— and zipping up, they disappear around the corner.
Levi frowns and hurries to kneel beside the unmoving boy, assuming the worst at the sight of sticky fluids covering Eren's chest and face. Taking him in his arm, he begins to lightly tap Eren's cheek. „Boy, wake up."
It takes him several more tries to get the other to stir. Leaning back against the wall, he lets out a frustrated sigh, watches how the one in his arms regain some consciousness. The eyelashes, sticky from other men's cum, flutter while Eren attempts to blink.
As dark and unfocused eyes are revealed, in stead of the usually vibrant colour Eren used to showcase whenever he was flying from rooftop to rooftop, between barks of trees, full of purpose and determination, Levi clenches his teeth.
But when their eyes meet, and Eren touches his stained cheek just to stick his finger in his mouth, then proceeds to flash him a satisfied smile, Levi feels his heart stop beating. A sinking feeling, and a foul taste in his mouth.
„What were you doing, Eren?" Levi's voice struggles to remain steady.
Eren pushes himself off of the captain's hold. „Just a little bit of fun. They couldn't wait until we could actually reach an actual room." He chuckles. „Sorry for that, captain. It was probably not something you wanted to see."
Levi grabs Eren's wrist to keep him in place. „When did the number of fuck buddies turn threefold at a time?"
Eyes flicking from the trapped wrist to Levi's face, Eren appears to be startled by the question. He laughs nervously. „What can I say? Things get boring for a young, and lively brat like me."
„You get rid of your boredom by letting everybody use you like a lifeless sex doll?"
„Everybody sounds just a little bit extreme, don't you think?" Softly, he tries to pry himself away from Levi's hold, but there is no escaping the strong grip.
„Why do you do that?"
„Are you asking me why people have sex in general, or…?"
Levi snarls and tightens his grip to the point of it getting painful. „Don't mess with me— you know what I mean."
Eren breathes in, tosses his head aside, and looks about ready to bolt away. But Levi feels like he won't be able to let the other go without an explanation.
„Is my sex life being monitored as well?" Eren's voice does not sound defiant or angry, but he still avoids any eye contact. Instead, he busies himself by singlehandedly trying to cover his exposed skin with the discarded pieces of his uniform, as if there's still some rescuable modesty.
„Your sex life doesn't need any special monitoring with the way you're fucking in every damn corner you can find."
„Why? Are you concerned?" He lets out a soft laugh.
„Yes."
Eren stills. His struggling shoulder grows limp.
„Don't say that, Captain. That's foul play."
Levi doesn't understand what part of it could be considered foul play. On the contrary, he is the one feeling wronged, because it wasn't something he would readily admit.
„I won't bother you again if you tell me." To prove his point, he loosens the fingers which are curled around Eren's bony wrist.
Levi feels relief wash over him when it doesn't look like Eren is trying to flee the scene as soon as his hand is freed. But those eyes yet again refuse to seek his own, and Levi fears that he is not going to get any answer at all. He observes Eren in his attempt to put his rumpled shirt over his head, and through his torso, which is covered in red and purple marks of teeth and suctions— none of them can be linked to any names.
Eren's dark hair is dishevelled by the careless way of putting on his shirt. Thick strands of hair cover most of his face. For a moment it makes him look boyish again. Just a teenager.
„You know, when I was a kid there used to be a man shouting from the side of the market. Something about the walls being holy— deities. Nobody even bothered to look at him. He was just that weirdo dealing with a loose screw." Eren runs sticky fingers through his hair to smoothen it. „The next time I saw the very same man was in court during my trial. In just a few years he has become a significant man with influential people actually lending him their ears."
Levi's gaze follows the movements of the boy's fingers, the flicking of his wrists, lingers on the thin sheen of sweat on Eren's neck. Maybe he's too distracted by the lustre of skin still holding evidence of an afterglow, but he has trouble following Eren's train of thought.
„Do you know what made people suddenly believe in gods? Why an ignored screaming man became a prophet?"
„Is there a point to this?" There's an impatient edge in the captain's voice.
„It's fear."
Their eyes meet.
„Inconceivable fear. And when your life is no longer in your grasp, you ask for someone, anyone to promise you salvation. Because isn't it beautiful to think that your petty soul is something more than just air inside a shell of flesh that would only dissipate once your body is cut open?"
„You're rambling, Eren." He doesn't like the course of their conversation.
Eren chuckles— it's soft and just so empty. His screams of hatred, his tears of defeat are always full, never empty. Never as dead as a lamb to be sacrificed.
„But there's one thing people would always prefer over faith towards an invisible being." Eren's hands travel north and south; one closes around his own neck, the other trails underneath his open fly. „That thing is power over what's threatening their lives."
The sight before him makes him sick, and he regrets eating that barely warm soup they had for dinner. Levi lets out an unbelieving snort. „You let people fuck you to ease their fear?"
„It helps. There are hardly any cases of Recon Corps soldiers faltering because of their fear towards me being a titan shifter now. It's not quite the same as trust, but them thinking of me as a hole to be used is good enough." Eren retracts his hand from his crotch. For a moment Levi thinks he might have caught a hint of shame in the boy's face.
„That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Stop being so fucking self-sacrificing— you seriously disgust me."
A semblance of hurt flashes across those huge set of eyes, though it is quickly replaced by a yet again empty smile.
„You misunderstand, Captain. It's not a sacrifice. I love being used and taken over and over again. They all make me feel good."
Nothing has changed after that nightly encounter. Eren is still everybody's willing toy as he is lending them a sense of power over a monstrous being, furthermore letting them indulge his warm body.
The only one changing is Levi. And he would have traded anything to retrieve his indifference. Instead he's left aware of all the times Eren would disappear with a different person, which never fails to send his mood to a dark pit.
He can't fathom why each time Eren becomes dirtier in other people's eyes he instead would find the boy to be more spotless and fragile than ever.
And he begins to wonder…why he's never on the receiving end of Eren's proposition.
„Erm…paperwork, Captain?" Wearing a confused expression, and stiffly standing at the centre of Levi's office, Eren looks more than just misplaced and lost.
The Captain in question only hums as a vague confirmation, not bothering to look up at the bemused soldier in front of him. They never do paperwork in their squad; for when you're a special operations squad put together to watch over a titan, you don't concern yourself with sheets of paper. But Levi has gathered a few stacks stolen from the administrative department, everything in a sudden attempt to relieve their workload, and fill his precious free evenings with productive work.
„Do I have to?" Eren beckons to the door behind him. „I have an appointment, so…"
A sharp glare elicited by the sole mention of an ‚appointment' silences him, and he refrains from saying any further. Taking a seat by the smaller desk next to the Captain's, he collects a small pile of documents on his workspace. The content completely unrelated to their work makes him frown— he has to stifle a displeased groan.
It's not like Levi is so utterly bored with his life that he has to steal inventory records, a workload nobody ever wanted, and drag a subordinate to join his fun. It's just that if Eren is with him scribbling on papers, he won't be with others, exchanging spit and sweat and whatnot.
Turns out Eren has difficulties deciphering the seemingly nonsensical jumbles of words and numbers, which is perfect. That way they would have to spend more time finishing the paperwork.
Stealing glances towards Eren, he awaits the moment the boy would show signs of drowsiness. Close to curfew time, he catches the other nodding off and smearing ink all over the page he has worked on.
„You can go. Eren."
Eren startles up and blinks at the Captain's general direction, mumbling an incoherent apology. Probably too tired to fuck people, Levi ponders.
He feels so tired and sore. But it is a better feeling, knowing that Eren would head straight to bed.
„Have you ever been afraid of Eren?" Levi asks without looking at Erwin Smith, his eyes still observing the map laid out in front of him.
„Distrust and doubt all of the time. But fear? I don't think so. Why?"
„Just wondering." The marks on the map are demanding his undivided attention, however doing so proves itself to be difficult. „…and when Eren asked you to sleep with him…"
„Oh, he didn't ask. I did." Erwin clears his throat with only the slightest hint of regret. „To find out whether the rumours about him are true. I'm embarrassed to say that I failed to control myself."
Levi nods, swallowing an unpleasant lump.
Eren really does appear to only target regular soldiers, but wouldn't say no if someone else was interested. Why would he? One more to add to the pile wouldn't make a difference after all.
Once again they spend the evening scribbling on documents completely unrelated to their actual field of work, and the boy has given up hiding his boredom. But he appears well-rested, and is for once without a limp.
„Isn't it just wonderful? We spend our evenings doing actual productive work instead of letting our brains rot?" Levi says, rather abruptly ending their silence.
Eren's writing hand stills, and he looks up with uncertainty, being obviously unsure whether the Captain is being sarcastic or not. „Uhm…actually, I didn't think you would be the type to actually do these things, sir."
„What, paperwork?"
„Unrelated paperwork."
„It's my hobby."
Eren snorts— and then noticing his superior's stare on him, he quickly drops his smile, and coughs into his hand. „I'm sorry," he murmurs.
„It was supposed to make you laugh."
Not knowing how to react to his superior's joke-not-joke, Eren chooses to let out an uncertain laugh. He shakes his head in one soft motion before returning to his task.
Levi observes him, lingering eyes probably too noticeable to be ignored, because the boy is tensing up again. That doesn't stop him from having a close look. He can hardly imagine Eren squirming and begging underneath the numbers of nameless people, not when he is currently bent over documents with a serious disposition and just somewhat at a loss. But Levi knows Eren could be different, he's seen a glimpse of the wanton face aimed at him (even though he had been out of it, so it wasn't exactly an expression specifically meant for him).
He shouldn't be bothered, he knows. Just let the boy go and do as he pleases; it shouldn't be his concern. But somehow it is.
„Eren."
Eren looks up; still on edge from being so blatantly stared at. „Yes, sir?"
„Sleep with me."
The writing stops. Eren stiffens in his position; Levi doesn't see him exhale. The other laughs nervously and fidgets with a strand of hair which he eventually tucks behind his ear.
„Captain, you're the one in charge of slaying me should I ever get out of control— you're hardly in need of a reassurance that I'm not dangerous. Because your job is to be aware of me being dangerous." Eren attempts to wave it off like that and returns to completing his task.
„One more person wouldn't hurt, don't you think?" Levi knows no reason behind his words.
He doesn't expect Eren to turn white as a sheet, eyes wide open in…is it fear? Levi's stare is met by wary orbs of green. „I didn't think you would be interested."
No longer controlled by his own rationality, Levi strolls over towards Eren's side of the room. Panicking, the other twitches to make a run for the door, but a set of arms reaching to trap him prevents him from doing so. Eren is forced to stay put, so he does the only thing left to protect himself. He averts his eyes. Even as Levi's body is hunched above him, staring at him with such an intensity he's sure he can feel it poking his skin, he refuses to look up.
„I am interested now." Levi isn't. At least not with how things are.
Once again Eren laughs. It's shaky. „Why?"
„The question is, why are you even hesitating?"
Why indeed? He didn't seem to have any qualms about sleeping with Erwin.
Eren closes his eyes.
„Anybody…" Levi has to lean closer to make out the barely audible mumble.
„Anybody but you, Captain."
The next part will be the final part. I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter (I just had to get this out of my system).
If you wanna chat with me, I'm tumblr user the-kingy :)