Elrohir: Guess we outta do a disclaimer.
Elladan: Yeah, okay, you do it. I'm Pishivee's character.
Elrohir: ahem Tai doesn't own us because we belong to JRR Tolkien. Tai doesn't own The Lord of the Rings rights', events, places, characters, ideas, or anything else associated with that glorious book. She certainly doesn't own the information written here either; that's all Tolkien's. Oh yeah, she doesn't own The Silmarillion either.
Elladan: And for future reference, AN means Author's Note, okay?
One day, Elrohir and Elladan were going over some old figures and family trees. They were now alone, their sister having gone off alone since her husband Aragorn died, their father crossing into Valinor, and their mother long gone. But they still managed to keep entertained with each other's company.
Elrohir, the elder twin, remarked, "Oh dear brother, look at this. I found a chart that gives everyone's ages in the year 3021 of the Third Age. That was the year Frodo went with Gandalf and everyone to the Grey Havens."
"So?" said Elladan.
"Some people might like to know how old the greatest people of the Third Age were. Like here we are! I forgot how old we were; we're both 2891 years old! We were born in the Numenorian year 130, in the Third Age."
"How do you know that?"
"Because it says so. Now what do you get when you subtract 130 from 3021?"
"Okay fine. Who else is in there?"
"Let's see… here's Legolas. In 3021, he was 2933."
"So he was born in the year ….88?"
"Yes. Frodo was 53, Merry was 39, Pippin was 31, and it looks like Sam was 41."
"What do you mean 'looks like'?"
"There's a note here. 'In one recorded history, Samwise's birth year is noted as 1380 by Shire Reckoning (AN: check the Longfather-Tree of Samwise Gamgee in the back of The Return of the King). That would be 2980 in Numenorian years. Just so you know, Shire years started after the crossing of the Baranduin, or Brandywine, River in 1600 of the Third Age. In another historical script, Samwise is said to have been born in the same year as Faramir, son of Denethor. That's year 2983 (AN: check the Third Age timeline in the back of TROTK). That would make him either 41 or 38.' Our father referred to Merry and Pippin as the younger two of the four hobbits, so wouldn't Sam have to be older than Merry? Then again, maybe he wasn't?"
"Thanks a lot Tolkien. Wish you hadn't died and left us with this mistery," whispered Elladan.
"What was that brother?"
"Nothing! I was just saying we should go ask Sam himself, but he's dead. So Faramir was 38. Does it say how many years older Boromir was than him?"
"It does! He was 41 when he was killed by that Uruk-hai and he was five years older than Faramir. Their father Denethor was 89 when he died. Doesn't say about their mother. Here's our father Elrond!"
"Oh, that father-figure of ours! How I do miss him!" laughed Elladan cheerily.
"Guess how old he was? Go on!" encouraged the gleeful Elrohir.
"How could you know? Or else, how does that report know?" asked his twin skeptically.
"It has a note. You know our Uncle Elros, the one we never met because he died since he chose to be a man and not an elf like our father?"
"Star Foam, yeah. Go on."
"It says he died in the year 442 of the Second Age. Plus, it adds he lived to be 500. So that would be like year -58 some time in the First Age. So if there were 3441 years in the Second Age, add 58 to get out of the First Age, then add 3021 to get to the year in the Third Age we have everyone else's ages at, and you get a total of 6520 years old for Elrond!"
"WOW! That means he was 3608 when he married our mother Celebrian. When we were born, he was 3629. How about Arwen? When was she born?"
"Our little sister was born in 241, so she was 2780 years old in 3021. Our father was 3740 when she was born. He was 6009 when our mother left for Valinor in 2510."
"Okay, this is all very nice to know, but it's making me kind of sad. Let's move on to someone else besides our family."
"Here's Gimli. He was 142. Died at 262. Look at this. During the year of Bilbo's adventures, his father Gloin was able to go, but Gimli couldn't because his father told him 'he was too young'. I guess 62 is young for dwarves."
"But Kili and Fili were there! They were only 77 and 82 it says," protested Elladan.
"We elves will never understand the dwarven race, I guess," Elrohir sighed. Elladan nodded in agreement. "Looks like they have the death ages of our friends too."
"Yeah, or what they were last known to be. Of the 'last-known-to-be's are Merry at 102, Pippin at 94, Frodo at 53, Bilbo at 131, and Sam at 102. The others are 'for sure'. Gimli was 262, Aragorn was 210, Denethor was 89, Boromir was 41, Théoden was 71, and Eomer was 93."
"Hey, Eomer was four years older than Eowyn. Sort of like us and our sister, right?" joked Elrohir.
"Uh, brother, we are 111 years older than our sister," checked Elladan.
"Same difference."
"Well, want to know something really cool? I just spotted it on the report."
"Where? Take your hand off so I can see."
"No, I want to tell it to you. You do know we're related to Aragorn, right?"
"Of course, but very distantly."
"Well I've got the actual distance right here. By counting all the Numenorian Kings on this list here, and since they all trace back to Uncle Elros, making them our cousins, Aragorn is….a 47th cousin to us!"
"No way! So Aragorn married his cousin Arwen?" said the awed Elrohir.
"Yeah, but at least it wasn't like the closeness of marrying a first cousin like our parents," added Elladan.
"Our parents?"
"Yeah, Elrond and Celebrian were like as close as second or third cousins. I just can't figure the chart out (AN: check the Silmarillion family tree of Olwe and Elwe)."
"That's not too bad."
"Yeah. You know our maternal grandparents are Galadriel and Celeborn and the paternal grandparents are Eärendil and Elwing?"
"Yes I know. We have such great lineage."
"I wonder if you and me can still continue it?
"Well, our father was 3608, you said, when he got married. We still have time, could wait another 5000 years," reassured Elrohir.
"If you look at it, our cousin Aragorn first met our sister in Imladris when he was 20. She was newly 2700. Bit out of his league, eh?"
"That's what everyone, even our father, told him. Apparently, she loved him back enough to die as a mortal. I miss her."
"Yeah. It was fun having her to pick on." They laughed at old memories for a bit.
"How come there's only a few written birthdays?" asked Elladan.
"I guess the record-keepers couldn't find everyone's true birthdays. We know for sure that Bilbo and Frodo shared September 22. Aragorn was March 1st. Sam was April 6. Pippin, it says here, is somewhere between January 1 to March 9."
"Why's that?"
"It mentions a conversation of his with a kid named Bergil son of Beregond. Pippin tells the jeering child that he is 29, and this takes place in the year 3019. Pippin was going to turn 29 that year, and he talks to Bergil on March 9, the day he and Gandalf reach Minas Tirith. So that is how Pippin's birthday is somewhere between the beginning of January and March 9."
"Elaborate, eh? Any other birthdays?"
"Not on this sheet, no."
"Anything else worth mentioning?"
"Eowyn was 26 when Aragorn was 90, so think she could ever have married him even if he chose her over Arwen?"
"Uhh…at least it's closer than 90 and 2780."
"Don't answer that."
"Hmm… our cousin Aragorn must've been living in Imladris when he was ten."
"So?"
"So that's the year Bilbo and all the dwarves came through, in 2941. Do you think Bilbo ever saw him, or Aragorn ever saw Bilbo?"
"Now that's something to ponder. Maybe they did meet but thought each other merely what they looked like, a hobbit and a little boy. They didn't know the whole truth."
"Or maybe they never saw each other. Or maybe Aragorn was away. Or he caught just a glimpse of Bilbo but was doing something else, or Bilbo caught a glimpse of him."
"Too bad our cousin is dead and Bilbo probably is too," sighed Elrohir. Elladan nodded.
"So is that it?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'll just keep reading this thing for fun."
"Hey, how do we know Legolas was 2933? He wasn't written down on this timeline or any family tree."
"Uhh… the note here says this information was found in a resourceful movie magazine."
"What's a movie?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's some type of weapon, you know, for a magazine, a storage room."
"Hmmm… it's comparing Legolas to some man named William Turner…"
"Strange."
AN: I was so amazed to find all this stuff out, so I hope you like it too! And yes, we did get Legolas' age from a magazine talking about Orlando Bloom's recent character roles (which was in 2003 or something). All this information can be gathered from the appendices of The Lord of the Rings (in the back of The Return of the King) and The Silmarillion. Galadriel must be over 10000 years old... You should see my paper covered in math equations over these ages and years I had to subtract and stuff.