A/N- I have writers block on all my other stories, so this was just something that popped out of nowhere. And if you read any of my other stories, you will know that I have been suffering from a severe addiction to Iron Man and The Avengers. So this is the result of that. Sorry if any characters seem OOC. Hope you like it.
Alive
Tony's POV
Tony sat there munching on shawarma, staring into space, thinking of the one he had thought he was about to die in earlier. Banner, who was sitting on his left, reached over and stole some food of Tony's plate. He didn't have the energy to argue. The greasy, yet delicious food slid down his throat. Everybody sat in silence, not one of them couldn't bother to speak or do anything really. And seriously, they had just saved the Manhattan from being blown up, and the world from being taken over by aliens on jet-skis. So, Tony thought, they probably deserved the rest. He looked over at Natasha and Clint, amused to find that they were both quite happily sitting very close to one another. They really should just admit they were in a relationship and get it over and done with. Thor was busy digging in to his food, leaving Tony wondering about the Asgardians metabolism. Capsicle seemed pretty relaxed to Tony, but it wasn't like he knew anything about the guy, so he guessed it could mean anything.
He stared out of the window onto the ruin of what was Manhattan. People were already starting to try to clean some of the rubble of the streets. S.H.I.E.L.D. had removed the bodies of the dead aliens, worried in case anybody had the smart idea to try to experiment on them. Firemen were dousing the fires, police tape stopping civilians from going into potentially dangerous areas. He watched, almost mesmerised bt the reflective jackets glinting in the sunlight. Thor shifted in his chair and Tony almost leapt up in surprise, but actually only flinched. This small movement was enough to catch the attention of everybody though. Tony reasoned that they were still on edge from the battle. Hell, he was still struggling to believe he was actually alive.
He held his hands up, as if surrendering. "Sue me, I'm jumpy."
Clint rolls his eyes, smiling slightly, while Bruce just shakes his head at his friends antics. Thor looks confused, probably wondering what being sued meant. Natasha and Steve had blank looks on their faces, but to Tony it was like they were screaming out, 'Typical'. Or that may just have been bad judgement. Eventually though, they stop staring at him, and move their hands away from their weapons, going back to eating shawarma. Tony just smiles as he realises Bruce has completely finished of his food when he wasn't paying attention. He goes back to staring outside. More civilians are coming onto the street now, easy to pick out from the emergency service workers. They were mingling around, and Tony could hear people calling out names of loved ones. It makes him feel disappointed in himself. Those were the people he hadn't managed to save. Even as he had flown through that portal in the sky, he had been thinking about the people he could save. Not the people he had failed to.
And then all he could think of was that dark space, the abyss. And he realised that he was terrified of it. But that wouldn't defeat him. Because he was Iron Man, and nothing could defeat Iron Man. Right?
And it was then that he heard on voice on top of all the others shouting outside. It was desperate voice,almost pleading. And it was most definitely Pepper. He could see her now, and he was trembling, because he loved her more than anything he ever had before, and she was coming to him. She was a small figure amongst a throng of people, but he would have been able to pick her out from a mile away, and not just because of her hair. She had spotted him now, he was very recognisable at the moment, what with still wearing his battered up Iron Man suit. And she was running, despite her clothes, and the heels she was in. Nobody else had noticed her, but she was the only thing Tony could see right now. He abruptly stood up, gaining the attention of all the Avengers again. And he knew they were talking to him, asking him questions, but he had no interest for them right now.
And then he was running, and she was running, and when they collided just outside of a goddamn shawarma restaurant of all places, he expects maybe a kiss, or even an intimate hug, but all he gets is a very annoyed Miss Potts slapping him across the face. He notices the Avengers now, Bruce, Thor and Steve all looking slightly worried, while the two spies look amused, both for different reasons. Natasha because she actually knows who Pepper is, and why she is slapping Tony, and Clint because he just finds it funny that Iron Man is getting hit in the face by a girl.
Pepper is shouting at him now, tears rushing down her face, and all Tony can think about is how he never meant to hurt her so much.
"Why? Do you even know what I was thinking when I saw what the HELL you were doing? How reckless are you to a fly a bomb, a BOMB, of all things into PORTAL THAT HAS APPEARED OVER MANHATTAN?"
She was running out of steam, and even though he can predict the consequences of what is going to happen next he still corrects her.
"It was actually a nuclear missile."
Pepper glares at him. "Oh yes! A nuclear missile! How silly of me! Because that makes it SO much better, doesn't it?" She's crying even harder now, and all Tony wants to do is hug her and at least try to make her feel better. It's the least she deserves after putting up with all the stuff he has done over the years. So that's what he does. He wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, and whispers promises into her ear. He'll never do something so stupid again, he won't ever make her worry again, and he'll never leave her.
"But why Tony?" She whispers. "Why is it always you?"
He hugs her tighter and whispers back. "I don't know Pep. I just don't know." And then all he can think is about that hole in the sky, and the nuclear missile scraping against his back. The steep upward climb to reach the portal, J.A.R.V.I.S. asking him if he wants to phone Pepper, and the vastness of space when he reaches it. The black emptiness, the way he feels so small and meaningless just being there. And then he lets go off the missile, and red and orange and black and blue invade his vision, as well as the glittering stars, yet all he can look at is the small box in the corner of his vision. The picture of Pep, and he's glad, because even if he didn't get to tell her one last time that he loved her, he could at least die looking at her smiling face. Because she was the reason he was here in this endless nothingness. Because he had never needed a reason to live. He had just needed someone to die for. And he had found her. But then he was falling, and he knew it was going to end soon, with him falling. And fall he did. Weightless and seemingly care free he fell, into space's lulling embrace. And he shut his eyes in the hope that it would be like falling to sleep.
But then he was back on earth, back in Pepper's arms, because he didn't know how, but somewhere she had started hugging him instead of the other way around. And nothing mattered anymore, because instead of falling to his death, all he had done was fall straight into Pepper's arms. Pepper, the one person who had always been beside him no matter what, who had accepted everything that he had done, and had never left because of it, unlike everybody else. And she had accepted him, and still accepted him, no matter how broken he was inside. And that's why he loved her. They stood like that, and Tony got J.A.R.V.I.S. to monitor her heartbeat, and he could hear it playing through his sound system. He could see her chest moving from breathing, and that was what kept him going. Because in rhythm with her heartbeat was his own. Because it was only in her arms that he was reminded that he was alive.
And he stared into the abyss, and the abyss stared back.
A/N- Thanks for reading. Please review! Even if you are reading this like two years after it was published, REVIEW! Seriously, I live of them. Thanks anyway!
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