Greetings and welcome to my first fanfiction! I hope you enjoy this. I worked so hard trying to keep the characters as IC as possible. Enjoy!
SEVERUS SNAPE AND THE WONDERFUL DAY
Sevvy woke up one Monday morning, threw his window open and listened to the birds singing. He was elated to have a new day and promptly donned his pink sweater and skipped out into the grounds to spread good will.
He tripped over a branch and landed on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had long flowing hair and kissable lips and soulful eyes. She also had glittering pink wings.
"Oh!" Sevvy said. "I am Sevvy and you are so beautiful! I have fallen in love with you!"
She stared back at him, surprised, but realised after a moment that he had soft, luscious locks and was basically the most gorgeous man in the universe. Swooning, she fluttered her long eyelashes.
"OH MY GOSH, SEVVY, I'M SO FLATTERED! I'm Petunia Magnolia Forget-Me-Not Magenta Pink Princess, obviously!" she told him.
Sevvy promptly leaned in and gave her a big smack on the lips, humming a sweet, peppy song under his breath.
The wondrous woman took his hand and dragged him into the forest, where she dropped her silken dress and jumped into his arms, admiring his strong muscles. "Love me, Sevvy!" she cried. "For I have never met a man as handsome as you!"
"As you wish, my beloved!" Sevvy cried. Afterwards, he took her hand and led her to Hogsmeade. "I need to go to Honeydukes, sexy," he said. "For I need to buy sweets for Harry, Ron and Hermione. I have seen the error of my ways and need to rectify myself!"
"You don't need to rectify yourself! You're perfect, just the way you are," Petunia sang, giving him a hug and running her hands through his silky locks again. He stared at her before shaking his head.
"No, I am a flawed man, but you are the bright side of me, the sunshine to my thorniness! You have shown me life!"
Shaking his head, he smirked, letting his hair be blown by the wind. She stared at him, thinking of how he looked like a model for an underwear company and fluttering her wings with desire for him.
"You know, my love," Sevvy said, after purchasing fudge for his students. "We must marry. I adore you!"
"Alas, Sevvy, I fear that I must return to the fairy realm, for love like ours is forbidden!" she cried in despair. As she began to sob, Sevvy clutched her to his strong, muscled and desirable chest.
"I shall fight for you, precious," he promised, looking sexy with the fire of love burning in his eyes.
"But Sevvy..." her argument died in her throat as she stared at him, melting under his intense gaze. "If we marry, my family may come after you and shoot you with little pink hearts that will leave dots on your flawless skin!"
"I fear not, for I am Sevvy Snape and I can do anything!" He flexed a muscle, causing one girl nearby to faint. "Now, I must return to Hogwarts and clear my name. We will get married there after my Potions Class and adopt Harry Potter as our son."
"Oh, Sevvy, you truly are a loving man! And then we could have a child of our own!" Petunia cried, knowing this piece of sexy goodness would make a wonderful father.
"No, beloved," Sevvy said firmly, picking her up easily to carry her back to the castle. "We shall have many children and I shall be the best father ever heard of. And Harry shall adore me! Now, let me teach and then... Our wedding!"
"All right, I agree with you there. Now, cling to my back and we will fly away into the sky together. Over the rainbow to Hogwarts, and I know how to get there because I know everything!" Petunia sang without a care in the world.
He clung to her back and they soared off into the sky, passing over the rainbow as they went. They finally came upon the quaint castle and shared a kiss before Harry Potter walked up.
"Greetings, Harry!" Sevvy cried, smoothing his pink sweater so that is looked just right. "Here, I have bought you fudge to apologise for my bad treatment of you! I love you like a son, and my fiancée and I would love to adopt you, to love you and cherish you!"
"Oh, Professor Snape! Thank you so much, this means the world!" Harry cried, tears of joy pouring down his cheeks.
"Call me Dad!" Sevvy rejoiced and Harry hugged his new father tightly, both of them sobbing with happiness.
"Oh, what a happy scene!" Petunia cried, joining the hug. "And I have wonderful news... I am pregnant with Sevvy's child!"
"Oh, yes, we will make an adorable family," Sevvy gushed, tears pouring down his face to create a rainbow fountain. "Harry, you're going to have a little sister who will grow up to save the world!"
"Yay, I love you, Daddy!" Harry sobbed as he squeezed his new family tighter. Using her magical fairy powers, Petunia turned his shirt pink.
"Now you're really part of the family, Harry Snape!" Petunia sniffled. Turning to Sevvy, she kissed him hungrily until he pulled away.
"And in other news..." Sevvy sang, "I'm over your Mom now!"
"I'm so glad to hear that, Daddy!" Harry beamed. He grabbed his parents hands and jumped with excitement. "Take me to your super-expensive mansion, Dad, so I can see you get married!"
"Of course!" Sevvy cried, obliging. They quickly ran up the mansion steps to the entrance hall, where Dumbledore appeared with his beard plaited for the occasion.
"I am here to may you, Sevvy and Petunia!" he told them, waving his wand to make pink cherry blossom rain down on the family. "I magically bind you together!"
"HOORAY!" cried Harry, over the moon with joy.
Sevvy kissed his new wife intensely, making her swoon with his abilities before she pulled free.
"OH, I'M IN LABOUR!" She howled, clutching her belly. "Us fairies have such short pregnancies!"
Sevvy screamed and fainted and turned pink, but then he magically jumped to his feet and wrapped his arms around his wife. "Dumbledore will deliver the baby, because Dumbledore can do everything!" he assured her lovingly.
Dumbledore nodded and crossed his arms, giving them a gangsta smile. "Dumbledore is the solution to everything," he said.
Then a magical stork soared down from the sky and delivered the baby to them. Sevvy whispered: "We should call her Lily!...Not because I still love Harry's Mom or anything."
"But I'm going to have a kid named Lily!," Harry cried.
"Too late!" Sevvy struck a pose, smiling at the baby's pink hair.
Dumbledore adjusted his hat—which was a gangsta-style cap—and grinned.
"Lily is a wonderful name!" he announced, and Harry nodded.
"I'm so glad we're all happy!" he told his parents as he hugged them and his new baby sister.
"Oh, look at Lily's wings!" Sevvy shrieked, stroking the lavender wings of his daughter.
Lily sat up and looked at her parents, blinking her unique golden eyes.
"I love you Momma, Dadda and Brother," she told them as Sevvy picked her up and cuddled her tenderly.
""Everyone is happy, ladida," Sevvy sang, staring down at his new baby. "She has super fairy powers! She can talk when she was born two minutes ago!"
"OMG, she's so awesome, bro," Dumbledore added, causing everyone to stare at him.
Lily just giggled modestly. "I know," she flexed her wings on her back and floated just above Sevvy's arms.
"Oh my Merlin, my baby sister is the coolest in the world!" Harry gushed. "I'm only a little bit jealous, but I'll get over it, 'cause she's cooler than me!"
"She's so beautiful," Sevvy declared. "My darling Petunia, we have to make another!"
"Oh, my love, I would enjoy that so much!" Petunia cried, wiggling her wings. Sevvy smiled in a sultry manner that was incredibly sexy.
"This is tight, yo!" Dumbledore told them. "Tight like a knot! Anyway, I must returned to Hegwarts, for I need to write a rap. I operate as a Muggle rapper known as Eminem on the sly, you see."
And with that, he disappeared in a haze of purple sparks.
"EMINEM? I love him!" Harry said, watching his father and mother out of the corner of his eyes. When they got closer, he threw his hands over his baby sister's eyes. "Don't look Lily! It's dirty!"
"Please, Harry," Lily scoffed, shaking her long, luscious rainbow hair out. "I'm dirtier.
Before them, Sevvy and Petunia started making out, before Petunia fell to the ground. "OMG," she yelled, "I'M PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS!"
"How wonderful!" Sevvy shrieked kissing her passionately as Lily cheered in Harry's arms.
"Oh, Lily let me do your hair for you," Sevvy begged. He and Harry began to plait her rainbow hair with sparkly beads and ribbons from Sevvy's sewing kit.
"THE BABIES ARE COMING!" Petunia suddenly howled.
"I'll deliver them, as I am the Chosen One!" Harry cried. He jumped up and quickly delivered three more babies.
"Let's call our three daughters something wonderful," Sevvy sniffed, handing Lily to Harry to scoop up two babies. "This can me Sugar Plum Rainbow Berry and this one can be Sweet Pea Sprinkle Sparkles.".
"And the other baby can be Angel Daisy Flowerpot!" Harry announced..
Lily screamed in rage. "I wanted to be the only perfect child!"
"Get over it!" Rainbow Berry yelled, her strawberry coloured hair falling to her knees in perfect waves as she laid in her father's arms. The other babies giggled.
"Look at her hair!" Sevvy bragged, his face alight with happiness. "It's beautiful! We produced such lovely offspring!" He fell to his knees in tears.
"They look like food," Harry said, eyeing his sisters hungrily.
He then tried to bite Lily's leg, but she kicked him off.
"Hey, Harry," she then said. "We're not biologically related, so let's date. I'm mature for my age!"
"Oh, Harry," Sevvy beamed as he rocked all three babies at once. "I give you permission to love my daughter. Make more rainbow babies!"
Just then, Petunia screamed, for the fairies were punishing her for leaving the Fae realm.
"We're going to date?" Harry's face lit up and he wrapped his arms around Lily as the fairies came towards them, growing at Sevvy who just began to sing.
"You have dated darkness," the fairies growled, coming closer to the family.
"Actually," Petunia said sweetly, "we're married now!" She showed off her lipgloss ring to all the fairies who dared to look, squirting lipgloss in their eyes.
"You have married the darkness," the fairies bellowed, coming over to Sevvy and his new wife. Sevvy decided to be good and pulled out his wand, hexing a fairy.
Then one of the fairies looked at Sweet Pea and instantly fell in love with the green-haired girl, so he sighed and bowed down at her feet. The rest of the fairies stared at him incredulously, but Sevvy just laughed and clapped, jumping up and down as Sweet Pea stared at the fairy in disgust before falling into his arms.
"Let's get married," she declared, and everyone cheered. She then ran off into the arms of the fairy, wrapping her arms around him. The fairies waved white flags and tears ran down Sevvy's face as he watched his youngest daughter propose to a fairy.
Five minutes later and one hour after her birth, they were wedded, Sweet Pea and the hobo fairy. Petunia cried. "Doesn't it feel like it was just yesterday that we met?"
"Actually, it was only a few hours ago," Sevvy reminded her. "But you know what, it's true love, and true love never waits!"
They shared a laugh as Harry walked down an aisle, throwing petals for the beaming couple, and it was a happily ever after for everyone, especially for Harry and Lily who had three children the next day, meaning Sevvy and Petunia were two very happy grandparents to Cuddle Boo Bun Bun, Moonbeam Sparkle Shimmer and Marshmallow Squishy Tweetie.
THE END!
Please don't favourite without leaving a review, thank you! Love, Sinjin X