The Mary-Sue Rant

Okay, so I've been reading some tests about FMA OCs and if they're Mary-Sues or not, and honestly I think they're really harsh! If you're careful, I don't understand the problem with the homonculus "Patience" code-named Naida Bradley who is a proclaimed relative of the Fuhrer and has gold eyes (that's mine, no stealing!), but apparently it's a big no-no. So here's the opinion of an author who's been bending her story very carefully for like a year now (O.o) so that it's acceptable to all those judgmental people who are insistent that there can't be more hommonculi than the Seven Sins.

The Part That You Guys Actually Care About

NAMES

Okay, here I'll say what everyone else is saying, but it's the only exception. Anyone with the last name Elric is a definite no-no. Along with that, last names like Black, Raven, Moon, and Night are just boring. First names shouldn't be anything Japanese like Yuki or Tokine (unless they're from Xing). If they're a native Amestrian who doesn't look Xingenese, a name like that sticks out like a sore thumb in Amestris. The country is reminiscent of Germany in the early 1900's, so anything European is acceptable. Anna Marwick or Cassie Chilcott are some good ones, and I don't see a problem with "Naida" as a first name, because although it's a little odd according to my Grandpa it's German.

APPEARANCE

Now somewhere along the line someone said you can't have crimson or gold eyes or silver hair. But what about Ishvalans? They have red eyes and silver hair! It's unfair if your poor Ishvalan OC gets 20 points (when the goal is a low number) on a Mary-Sue test just for being Ishvalan.

As for gold eyes, that is a trait exclusively for Xerxians, and we all know (if you read the manga or watched Brotherhood) that they were wiped off the face of the planet with the exception of Hoenheim. But if you twist your plot just right, it's fine. For example:

Poor Mara Helios of Xerxes had been studying alchemy and discovered just what the ditch circling the country was for. Her father has helped dig it because they lived on the border of the country, but when it was finished the people were massacred. Mara and her little brother, Aureolus, were spared because they hid and weren't found by the soldiers. She discovered this right before the eclipse and she had just boosted Aure over the border as the circle was activated. Outside the circle, Aure was helpless as his sister died.

Later Aureolus went on to reproduce and his descendants had golden eyes.

See? Tell me that we can't have golden-eyed people now!

BACKGROUNDS

I get the fact that having a sob story just like the Elrics' is bad ju-ju and is sadly overused (Poor little insert name just wanted to see her insert family member's smile again, so she did human transmutation and lost insert limb to the Gate. Now she can do transmutations without a circle.). But having a dark past doesn't have to be completely ruled out!

Cassie Chilcott's parents died when she was three in an automobile crash and she went to live with her aunt in Ishval. Then the uprising started.

Again, everyone is saying "Automail is taboo!" But what if she didn't get it from losing her limb in a human transmutation?

At the age of six, she was still living in the war torn state, and fell victim to one of Kimbley's boom-booms. She lost an arm and her aunt took her to the nearest automail mechanic, Pinako Rockbell in Resembool. Here she befriended the boys and...

Or what about a chimera? I haven't read ANY OC catgirls, those could be fun!

When she lost her arm, the doctors (not the Rockbells, they've died already) told her aunt that Cassie died, and she was whisked away to Central to be tested on and made into a cat chimera, raised specifically for war.

I don't believe in anyone surpassing Ed, because we know he was the youngest State Alchemist admitted into the military. But what about a teenager?

Cassie, being the military machine she was, was also trained in alchemy. At the age of 15 she became a State Alchemist, which gave her much more free reign, on the condition that only the VERY higher-ups knew that she was a chimera created by the state. And that's how she met the Fullmetal Alchemist...

Or maybe she could be a homonculus...

HOMMONCULI

I hate it when people say you can't have an OC who's a homonculus, that there are only the Seven Sins and they're all used up. I don't believe in just taking a negative trait (Like "Depression") and making it a character, but did these criticizers do any research?

So this doesn't exactly count as research, but in the manga "Ultimo" (it's in Shonen Jump) which I'll try not to get into much, as opposed to the Seven Deadly Sins there are the Six Perfections. These come from Buddhism and are Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Perseverance, Concentration, and Wisdom.

You could also use the Seven Virtues (Prudence, Justice, Restraint, Courage, Faith, Hope, and Love) if you prefer, but the Six Perfections are more fun in my opinion.

These guys are more fun because quite honestly, they're easier. Ya know those fun little powers the hommunculi have? Well the thing is they're all ironic. Envy is jealous of everyone, yet he can transform to look like whatever he's jealous of. Sloth is lazy, but he has all those killer muscles. Wrath is calm enough in battle that he can whip anyone's ass before they even notice. Lust... I'm not going into that one.

So have fun making a bodily power (it has to be something in their body that the Philosopher's Stone in their blood stream can enhance, and no homonculus can do alchemy. Ever.) that's ironic to "Courage": they go and hide in a corner when the battle starts?

The Six Perfections make more sense. Patience could run really fast, Ethics couldhave a crazy bloodlust when she smells blood like Butch in "Finding Nemo", etc.

PLOTS

I'm not going to say you can't make your story a love story between Ed and your OC, but SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT Ed marries Winry SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT so plan accordingly. Also, OOC is fun at times, but if you're going for realistic to the original think long and hard about Edo's personality and how he's sure as hell NOT going to be very romantic and lovey-dovey during his time as a teenage State Alchemist.

Another main point is to not make your character a wallflower! It's hard to fit poor Tsuki Yamakawa into your story, so you just type up the episodes word-for-word and give most of Al's lines to Tsuki and then add a scene where she and Ed get some behind a pile of books in Sheska's apartment. NO NO NO NO NO! If you're going to stay true to the story, have Anna be in central during the Nina parts and then comfort Ed after squeezing what happened out of Al or something. Or maybe Cassie can be just leaving Lab 5 when it explodes and she's found in the rubble by Al, kitty ears exposed.

You could also put it somewhere in the middle as a side mission of Ed's, or before the main story altogether when Mary went with her alchemy instructor to visit Izumi and her apprentices, and avoid the main plot altogether.

ORIGINALITY

This is by no means a basis for your story, just some stuff to think about. You might want to try reading other OC fics, then try coming up with something no one else has before. Yes, this is your story and I have no right to tell you what to write, but the fact that you clicked on this means you either want my help or are here to laugh at me and call me stupid.

So get those creative juices flowing!

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If you like, hate, want to tell me how awesome or dumb I am, or I missed anything, there's a little button down there called "review" that I think you should press!