Title: Queen of Denial

Author: Eppy

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Rating: PG13

Pairing: Christopher/Jalil

Spoilers: Through Book 6

Summary: "I don't like Jalil. Really"

Disclaimer: K.A. Applegate is the Queen of Everything. I'm just borrowing.

See, I don't like Jalil. I don't. Really.

He's a stuck up, arrogant, know-it-all, condescending jerk-off. With no sense of humor whatsoever.

So he's honorable. And, okay, really smart. And loyal. And really, really fucking hot.

Yeah, see? I'm mature. I can admit that another guy is attractive. And if I get hard when we bathe in the same river or whatever, that's perfectly normal. Long, Everworld abstinence, that's all. I'm not turning into Ganymede or anything.

Right.

So it's night, and I've got first watch. Which sucks, but not as much as getting woken up in the middle of the night, so I don't complain. I hate being up alone. There's no one to talk to, nothing to do and way too much quiet. I think too much at night.

I hear a rustling and I turn around quickly, but it's only Jalil. He comes over and sits beside me. "What's up?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says. He gives me a long look, than leans over and kisses me.

I lean into it until my brain catches up with my hormones. I pull back, stuttering, "What the fuck..."

"Oh, get over yourself," Jalil murmurs. "I've seen you staring at my ass." And then he kisses me again.

This time I give in. He leads the kiss in his typically methodical way; not too sloppy, slow exploratory kisses at first, and then he slips me the tongue. I grasp his shirt and hang on for dear life. Usually I'm the one who takes the lead. It's weird to have someone else take charge.

Okay, not as weird as kissing a guy, but I'm very deliberately not thinking about that right now.

Eventually, his lips leave mine and trail down to my neck. I realize, in a peripheral sort of way, that I'm laying on the ground. Jalil's on top of me. His hands are snaking up my shirt. I should be far more disturbed than I am.

What I am is horny. And I want more.

"I don't like you," I gasp, but that's not at all what I wanted to say.

Jalil stops for a moment I moan. "Shut up," he says finally. "You'll wake David and April."

And wouldn't that be something. Though come to think about it, April would enjoy it far too much. "All right," I agree.

He kisses me, long and deep. "You taste good," he says. "And you really shouldn't. With no dental hygiene out here..."

"I thought we were going to be quiet." I want his lips on mine, want them to stop talking. If he talks, I have to think. Realize that I'm with a male. Jalil. Christ.

Jalil gives me this considering look. "Disturbed yet?" He asked. "Relax. Everyone experiments."

Yeah, but this isn't just an experiment. I don't say that, though. That would be cheesy. And I don't like Jalil.

Really.

So I let Jalil kiss me and I try not to think but God! He touches me in all the right spots and I've never felt this way with a girl.

Stop. I know what you're thinking. I'm not gay. "I'm not gay," I tell Jalil.

Jalil moves his hands off, but I wiggle and groan and he goes back to stroking my back. "Sure you're not," he says condescendingly. "This is just teenage experimentation. Excessive hormones with no outlet."

"Friends on the down-low," I agree, but I really don't believe it. I don't think Jalil believes me either, but he lets it go.

Eventually, we stop, because you can't make out forever. Without talking about it, Jalil doesn't press to go farther, and neither do I. There's just an undercurrent that it's not the right time. Jalil does curl up next to me, which I think is sweet."

"Maybe I do like you," I say quietly.

"Shut up," Jalil says, but he kisses my cheek.