No More Secrets
Buckbeak flew low over the tops of the trees as Sirius peered searchingly through the darkness. He needed to see Remus. Their reunion at the Shrieking Shack a few weeks ago was much too short. There was still so much to be said ... especially the one thing that he could not keep inside any longer. Sirius hoped Remus would understand. He had to. Finally he spotted it ... a small log cabin nestled into the edge of the forest. A soft glow emanated from the window and in the light of the waxing moon he could just make out a curl of smoke coming from the chimney. They landed and Sirius tied Buckbeak a short distance away before nervously approaching the door. He took a deep breath and knocked lightly, and as the door opened he felt as if his heart had stopped beating.
"Remus ..." his voice was barely more than a whisper.
"Sirius ..." his old friend greeted him softly. "I was hoping you'd find your way here."
Neither man could tear his eyes away from the other's face. There was so much each wanted ... needed ... to say ... apologies to be begged ... explanations to be made. But as they gazed at each other they realised that no words were necessary, for each could see in the other's face and eyes the love ... the desire ... the passion ... that each had only dared dream about for too many long years. Remus took Sirius' hand, leading him into the house ... that simple contact sending a current coursing between them that could not be denied.
Remus nudged the door closed with his foot, his still disbelieving golden-brown eyes unable to pull away from those haunting grey ones that had visited him so often in his dreams. He reached out with trembling fingers to brush a lock of hair from Sirius' face, then softly traced them down his cheek and across his slightly parted lips. Sirius reached up and grasped his hand, pressing it to his mouth for a moment before leaving a trail of soft kisses from each fingertip to meet at Remus' palm as he lead him into the bedroom.
Sirius cupped Remus' face with one hand, brushing his thumb lightly ... following the line of an old scar that ran along his cheekbone, while his other arm curled around his waist, urging him still closer. Their faces were mere inches apart. Remus had a brief glimpse of that tantalizing tongue as Sirius licked his lips ... an old habit he had that Remus had always found unnervingly erotic. Then Sirius' soft, moist lips were on his and he could no longer think, he could only feel ... twenty years of desperate longing, burying his feelings deep inside him ... thirteen years of pain and despair, visioning his love in a dark, dank cell surrounded by guilt and torment ... three weeks of hope since their much too brief and all too public reunion at the shack ... all culminating now in the most exquisite joy he had ever known.
His lips parted as Sirius' tongue pressed past them exploring his mouth, searching for and caressing his tongue, his teeth, that sensitive spot on the roof of his mouth that nearly sent him through the ceiling when Sirius brushed across it. Remus' fingers were entangled in the long, soft, thick, black hair he had always loved, and as the kiss became deeper their tongues entwined as they hungrily explored every reachable area of the other's mouth ... sucking ... caressing ... licking ... nibbling ... teasing.
Finally, almost regretfully, they broke apart. Sirius' hands were shaking with anticipation as he began to unbutton Remus' shirt, and as he slipped it over his shoulders and let it drop to the floor the sight of that broad, smooth, strong chest made his breath catch in his throat. He slid his hands across it ... slowly exploring and caressing every inch ... following the path of every scar ... before leaning in to kiss Remus' neck. Sirius trailed his mouth across his collarbone, licking and kissing his way down his chest, tracing around his hardening nipple before taking it between his teeth and teasing it with the tip of his tongue. Remus moaned with pleasure as Sirius continued his attentions all the way down his chest and stomach, his tongue finally circling and delving into his navel before coming up for another kiss.
Sirius ran his long fingers through Remus' silky, honey-gold and sliver hair, winding it around them as their kiss deepened and their passion grew. Remus' strong hands caressed Sirius' back, outlining his shoulder blades, moving down to his too thin waist. Suddenly he took a step back, his eyes blazing with anger at what Azkaban had done to the man he loved, and his hands grabbed at Sirius' prison robes, not bothering to unfasten, but ripping every shred of the worn, ragged fabric from him and throwing it aside in disgust – he would never be wearing that again! As he stood breathlessly gazing at the gaunt yet inexplicably still elegant body of the man who stood before him his rage was replaced by an overwhelming outpouring of love and he pulled him close ... needing to hold him ... needing to feel his heart beating as one with his own ... knowing he would never again be able to let him go.
Sirius recognised the feral fury seething in his love's eyes as Remus stripped the hated prison robes from his body ... the strength of his hands as he tore the fabric ... the care he took, even in his rage, never to hurt the body beneath ... the depth of Remus' fervor for him becoming even more obvious as his anger towards Azkaban waned. He went unreservedly into Remus' arms, giving himself over completely to the feelings he had kept buried deep inside himself for nearly 20 years. The intensity of their embrace was a wordless vow that they would allow nothing to ever come between them ... the tender passion of their kiss indelibly sealing that vow for all eternity.
As their bodies pressed tightly together, Sirius realised something was amiss ... one of them was still half dressed! He reached down to loosen Remus' trousers, sliding them over his hips and letting them fall to the floor as he dropped to his knees. The musky scent of arousal filling his senses, his hands caressed Remus' firm hips and thighs as his tongue swirled around the head of his hot, throbbing hardness, gently nipping and licking before taking it into his mouth. Remus' strong, slender fingers were intertwined with Sirius' thick, black hair and he moaned softly as Sirius drew him in deeper and deeper, continuously licking, swirling, teasing with his tongue, until he knew Remus was incapable of holding back much longer. He opened his mouth a bit wider, allowing Remus in even deeper, and as the soft folds of his throat closed around him Remus cried out in release and Sirius felt the convulsing muscles and tasted the warm, slightly salty fluid pulsing into his mouth as he greedily swallowed every drop.
Remus pulled him up and kissed him deeply, savoring their blended flavors as they mingled on his tongue. They moved gradually toward the bed, still caught up in their kiss, neither one wanting to let go ... their hands moving over each others' bodies ... stroking ... caressing ... possessing ... intimately exploring everywhere within their reach ... each acquainting himself with this newly accepted aspect of their old friendship. They reached the bed and gently slid onto it as Sirius continued his exploration of Remus' body.
Sirius lifted his partner's hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss into his palm ... sensuously licking and sucking each long finger before trailing kisses along the inner part of his wrist and forearm ... continuing his soft caresses up his arm ... across his shoulder ... pausing to nibble his ear and neck before moving across his chest ... down to his waist ... his hips. He moved between Remus' legs, leaving light, teasing kisses along his inner thigh and down the length of his leg ... his ankle ... his foot ... licking and sucking each toe, then travelling to the other foot and slowly working his way up the other side of his lover's body ... ending in another deeply passionate kiss as he covered Remus' body with his own.
Sirius nestled himself between Remus' legs and slowly ... gently ... started to enter him. A sharp gasp escaped Remus' lips and Sirius stopped. "You OK?" he asked, concern filling his eyes. "Yes," Remus breathed, "I'm fine." "You sure?" "Yes, I'm sure," Remus promised him breathlessly, "Please ... Siri ... don't stop ... want it ... need you ..." He reached up and touched Sirius' cheek, his eyes overflowing with desire. "Please, Siri..." Sirius melted as he gazed into his eyes. He quickly swung around so he was laying next to Remus, his head resting on Remus' thigh. "OK," Sirius smiled at him, "but get it good and wet first." As Remus hungrily took him into his mouth, Sirius wet a finger and gently slid it into him ... Remus moaned softly as he ran his tongue around Sirius' erection. Sirius repeated it with two fingers, scissoring them slowly in and out, then gently added a third ... and his breath caught in his throat as Remus nibbled softly at a very sensitive spot. He soon felt Remus moving along with him ... pressing himself further down onto his hand ... wanting more ...
Sirius leaned forward and brushed his lips across Remus' cheek. "Ready, love?" Remus kissed him in answer and pulled him over on top of him. Sirius slid slowly but much more easily into him, and though his breath caught briefly Remus quickly relaxed, letting the wonderful new sensations take over his being. His hands grasped his lover's hips, and lifting his own to meet him he pulled him further in. Sirius moved very slowly ... he had wanted this for so long ... now he wanted it to last as long as possible ... never wanted these incredibly beautiful feelings to end. They were both caught up in the slow ryhthm as their bodies moved as one ... their breathing gradually quickened until it came in short gasps as their building passion drove them closer and closer ... "Oh God ... Siri ..." Remus cried out as he came against Sirius' belly ... "Oh, Moony ..." Sirius reverted to the old endearment as two more thrusts brought him, too, over the edge and he collapsed shaking onto his love.
They lay in each others arms, totally contented for the first time in their lives. The apologies, the explanations, and everything else could wait. For now it was enough just to feel the soft, warm, sweet tenderness of their kisses ... see the love that had been denied for so long finally shining in each others eyes ... and know that never again would either of them be alone.