Hello and welcome to another crazy story. This was started back in 2001, believe it or not. I never did get around to finishing it, but I'd like to try. It centers around Kevin Smith and Newsies characters, plus a bunch of gals from a CC I did way back when. Hopefully you'll laugh a bit!
Cast list is huge:
Felicia – Firecracker
Nick – Mush
Brooke – Whiskey
Vincent – Specs
Fiona – April
Trey – Blink
Kate – Lady Luck
Mark – Scribbles
Gabi - Blaze
Dom – Bumlets
Jeri-Lynn – Goosey
Dominic – Itey
Elisabeth– Mayhem
Lynn – Chesa
Barbara – Mboid
Andrea/Andi – Autumn
Christian – Jack
Melody - Bitter
Patrick - Spot
Catalina - Cats
Tony – Race
Melissa - Tapper
Mike – Skittery
Charlotte/Charlie – Noodle
I started writing with real names, but that gets hard, so I switched to nicknames. Hopefully it will be easier to follow. I'm also adding more people. Relic will have a cameo, as will Slash. So if you'd like one, I guess you better get to reading!
New Jersey - the Garden State. Home to Newark Airport, Umberto's Pizza, Bon Jovi, and of course, Jay and Silent Bob.
On a crisp December morning, the Quick Stop in Red Bank, New Jersey was devoid of life. Despite the time of five past six in the morning, the lights were off, and the doors were closed.
"I cannot believe you dragged me out of bed at six in the morning to go to a convenience store of all places," Nick 'Mush' Meyers whined. Named for his his mush-like complexion and way with the women, Nick was no stranger to being whipped by his girlfriend. "We don't have school for another two whole hours! That's two hours of quality sleep time!"
Felicia 'Firecracker' Williams ruffled his chia-pet like hair. "You know how important cherry flavored lollipops are to me! The other store has been out of them for a week. This is the only other place to get them in this town," she explained. "And I direly need them for school today." Felicia had curly, fire engine red hair. It was no wonder she donned the nickname of Firecracker.
"You…woke me up… for lollipops?!" Mush cried.
"Relax! I'll treat you to some BBQ Ridgy potato chips, just for driving me, okay?" Firecracker offered. Sheesh, some men… strike that - boys!
"Well," Mush started, surveying the situation. "I suppose that would be acceptable." He did love those potato chips, no matter what time of day.
Firecracker grinned. "Good boy. You're the best! Now drive faster or someone might steal all my cherry flavored lollipops before we get there." She patted his shoulder. "You'd think there was a conspiracy against these things. I cannot believe the other store is out of them!"
Mush held his tongue from expressing just how much her cherry obsession frightened him at times. He pulled into the empty parking lot of the Quick Stop, his brakes screeching to a haphazard halt.
"Are we early or something?" Mush asked, scratching his poofy hair.
"No, we can't be." Firecracker checked her wristwatch, complete with flame wristband, and cherries behind each number on the face of it. "It's 6:10! Damn place opens at 6!" she exclaimed.
Jumping out of Mush's car, Firecracker stomped up to the door. Sure enough, the place was sealed. Peering inside, she didn't notice any movement, except for a cat patrolling the aisles.
"Can I go back to bed now?" Mush whined.
"Are you nuts!" Firecracker exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. "I need those lollipops! I have a test today! They calm me down, not to mention anything cherry is good luck!"
Banging his forehead against the hard steering wheel, Mush sighed. "So I guess that means we are waiting here until the dude comes to open the store, doesn't it?" It was more a statement than a question, since he already knew the answer.
Groaning as Firecracker mouthed 'duh' to him, she turned back to the door of the convenience store and cupped her hands to the glass. "I can see them from here… my cherry friends, just waiting for me… Damnit, who was supposed to open today?!" she cried. "If it's Dante, I'll kill him."
"What'd that fucker do now?" a ragged, and rather lethargic voice asked.
Firecracker pulled herself away from the door to see two figures stumbling towards her. "Well, if it ain't Jay and Silent Bob. What the hell are you doing out of bed this early?"
"Bed? Fuck, we haven't even been to bed yet, right Silent Bob?" He turned to his partner, who nodded in agreement before hastily lighting another cigarette.
"Where the hell have ya been all night then?"
"Party, where else?" Jay shrugged before leaning up against the wall for support. "Bitches kept me up all fucking night. One after another… They were all over me…" At that statement he received a nudge in the side. "Oh, and Silent Bob. Yeah, they loved you too." Jay rolled his eyes as Silent Bob grinned.
"So anyway, where is that dickhead, Dante?"
Firecracker groaned. "Not here, obviously. I bet he was supposed to open too. He always does on Fridays, and then he complains about working the weekends, putz…"
"Huh?" Jay asked, his attention wavering at the car of girls that had just driven past. "Yeah, he's a putz alright. What the hell do you need anyway? Fuck, there are a ton of convenience stores around."
"But only one store that has the lollipops I need!" Firecracker cried, exasperated. "The only other one with this brand has been out of stock for a god damn week."
Jay shook his head. "Women…" he grumbled. "So go to Dante's mom's house and wake him up then."
"And miss out if he comes by and opens up while we're chasing his ass around? Hell no. I'll wait… Hey, that gives me an idea."
Jay raised a brow, Silent Bob doing the same.
"You two don't have anything better to do. Why don't you go to his house and wake him up," Firecracker suggested.
"Nothing better to do? We got plenty, like…" he stuttered and saw Firecracker cross her arms.
"All right fine… But what's in it for us? Head?"
"Fuck you Jay!" Mush yelled from the car.
"No, not head, Jay. Shit is that all you ever think about?" Just as Jay was about to answer a wholehearted 'yes', Firecracker continued. "Think about it this way – if you don't get the Quick Stop open, then as soon as word gets around town, not as many people are going to come by, and your little side business out here ain't gonna run as smoothly today."
"Hell, like we need a damn milk store to keep our business going!" Jay exclaimed.
"What do ninety percent of your customers do before or after they buy your goods?" Firecracker asked.
"Depends… guys or bitches?" Jay inquired, raising his nose in the air.
"What does that matter?"
"Shit, like you gotta ask. The bitches fuck me afterwards, and the guys fuck this tubby bitch over here," Jay grinned.
Rolling his eyes, Silent Bob stepped away from Jay before taking another drag on his cigarette.
"Wrong loverboy. They go into either that convenience store right there and buy something, or they head over to the video store for a porno. Face it, they're not just here to see your ass everyday," Firecracker explained.
Jay sighed, and turned to his counterpart. "What do you think, Silent Bob?" As Bob's response was a mere shrug, Jay looked back at Firecracker.
"All right. I guess we could wake his sorry ass up. But I still think some head come along with the deal."
"Watch your mouth, Jay! Jesus!" Mush yelled.
"Hey, I'm doing your girl here a favor…" Before he could continue, Silent Bob tapped his shoulder. "I mean, we're doing her a favor! The least she could do is line up someone else to put out if she ain't gonna do it!"
"Just get going already!" Mush cried, annoyed again by Jay's tone.
"Yeah, whatever. C'mon Silent Bob." The two trudged off, leaving a disgruntled Mush and a hopeful Firecracker.
"Mush, you know how Jay is. There's no point in arguing with him," Firecracker commented as she walked back to the car.
"Well, he should watch his mouth sometimes," Mush frowned.
Deciding that it was now time to make Mush forget about Jay and his mouth, Firecracker slipped her arms around Mush's neck. "I can think of something better to spend your time thinking about," she smirked before leaning in to kiss him.
"Wait… Do we even know the way to that fuckers' house?" Jay frowned. "Not like we ever wanted to go to his shitty place. Damnit Silent Bob, why don't you fucking lead for once? I always hafta be the dominant one in this relationship."
Shrugging, Silent Bob picked up his pace, tossing his cigarette carelessly to the side. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, squinting his eyes in the wind as he walked on.