A/N: So, this was on my device for a while and I decided to publish it. I hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Note: This containes cutting, suicidal thoughts, suicide commiting, rape,and other angsty things. This DOES NOT contain yaoi. Sasuke is like a brother or something like that.

Ch.1 : The Note

Dear whoever cares enough to actually read this,

I'm really sorry that you had to wast your time to read this stupid note, but I actually appreciate that you showed enough kindness to read it.

anyway, I just wanted to point out a few things that made me do this.

I'm really shaking violently while I'm writing this thing, but I'm kind of happy that I got to give Konoha what it wanted for a long time. you might be asking what I mean, right? well, basically Konoha's villagers wanted me dead in any possible way.

At first when I was two years old they would just glare and whisper at me whenever they see me. But after I got kicked out of the orghange at age four they began throwing things at me. The third hokage gave me an apartment. I was really happy that I'm not going to stay homeless anymore. But that all changed when I did the first and biggest mistake in life.

It was the Kyuubi's festivale and I needed to go out to buy some food from a nearby store, even though I know they would just kick me out. Anyways, on my way there a group of villagers spoted me. I thought they would just glare or throw things, but they did sometjing completely diffrent. In fact, they actually smiled at me. I was really surprised, no shocked that, they for once, actually smiled.

A woman said that she wanted me to be friends with her children and said that her children where at a nearby alley. I followed her there but I wish I didn't. While I was searching for the kids, a man suddnely appeared and grabed me by my collar. I was really scared and didn't know what to do, but I was only four back then. A lot of other villagers appeared. the same from the group.

He threw me back harshly and I hit a wall. bloode started oozing from my head as I laid motionless on the ground. They all started to beat me harshly, carving thirngs on my body and breaking parts of it.

And that wasn't the last time. It stayed every year on the kyuubi's festival at the name of 'the fox hunt' and even at other times of the year. It happened nearly everyday of my life.

at age five ,I begane to devlope depression. whenever the villagers would beat me , I won't run thinking that I was worth it. And I do.

At age six, I attended the academy and found a father like figure to me, Iruka sensie. I really loved him as my father and still do. I also found a lot of kids there that I wanted to be friends with, and I still had the slightest of hopes that they won't judge me or see me as a demon like the villageres do. so, I formed my mask and hid my true personality. it worked but non of them really knows who I really am.

At age ten, I discovered cutting. It was wrong to do it and I know, but it gives a very satisfieing feeling, like all the pain would go away if I hurt myself.

I really hate myself. I am such a worthless, poor excuse of a human being that is a wast of space and oxygen.

Maybe I was misplaced, but I highly doubt that, everywhere I go I will always be a disgrace and a disappointment.

I really hate it when the villagers beat me and yet, I can't bring myself to hate them. I think they are right. Whenever I look in the mirror, I see what they see; a demon, a monster, a murderer.

It's really funny, right? I mean, isn't it so pathetic when someone so young and only tweleve years old feels all of that pain and thinks that dark way. I'm so pitiful.

Finally, I want to end this letter with the goodbyes. so please read...

Sasuke, you are my bestfriend, I really look up to you and want to be as strong as you. Please don't take the 'Teme's that I call you too personally. It's just part of my mask to act like I hate you, but I really don't. you are like my twin brother, even though you're older,goodbye.

Sakura, I,m really sorry for being such a burden and disgrace to you. I knew from the first time that you hated me being on the same team as you, right? Anyway, sorry and goodbye.

Kakashi-sensei, I really look up for you, sensie. thanks for accepting trash like me to be part of your team. You never treated me diffrently or gave me those eyes. In fact, you actually trained me well. Thank you, sensei, goodbye.

Iruka-sensei, Thanks for acknowledging the murderer of your parents and being my godfather. I love you sensei as my father. you must be crying hystiraclly for what I'm about to do. Heh,Sorry for that,goodbye.

Rest of rookie nine, team Gai, Garraa, Temari, and Kankoru, I don't want to make this note long, so here it is. You guys were the greatest freinds of all time. Thanks for not seeing me as a demon, even when I am a one. I really love you all with all of my heart, goodbye.

Konohamaru and his team, train well guys. I'm sure all of you are going to be great shinobis. And Konohamaru, please train hard and be a hokage. I'm sure you're going to be a great one. Sorry that J didn't keep my promise to become hokage, but you must keep yours, goodbye.

Rest of Konoha, I hope you are all happy now, goodbye.

sincerely,

Naruto.