Deacon was pacing by the window of terminal A6 at the Nashville International Airport. Rayna's flight was already 45 minutes late.
"Excuse me ma'am is there any further information on flight 186 from Berlin?" he asked the ticket agent for the 3rd time
"I'm sorry, sir. All we have is that it will be delayed for mechanical issues. No ETA at the moment, but we will update everyone as soon as we hear something. Again, there is no danger to anyone onboard. The captain has simply requested an emergency landing as a precaution, and they are looking at possible airports to land to check things out."
"Thanks." Deacon said as he turned his attention to the 4 year old twirling by the window in her purple tutu
"When's mama's plane comin daddy?" Maddie asked for the umpteenth time
"I'm not sure sweetie. They need to fix the plane. It's gonna be a little longer"
"…but she said she'd be here for my cital." Maddie's little face twisted in disappointment
"I know, baby. She's tryin to get here, OK?"
"She ALWAYS says she's comin, and doesn't." Maddie stuck her bottom lip out, and crossed her arms
Deacon couldn't deny that Maddie was right. Rayna had been touring pretty heavily the past 2 years, and for the past 3 months hadn't been home at all. She was finishing up the last leg of a tour in Europe.
It was late September 1997.
Deacon and Rayna were about to celebrate their 5 year anniversary, which also happened to land on the same night as the CMA's. Deacon was not happy, but he'd learned to accept the downside of the music business. Sharing Rayna with millions of fans hadn't been easy, and Maddie was really struggling with Rayna's absence.
He glanced at the departure / arrival screen again. It had just changed. Flight 186 was now scheduled to be 3 hours behind its original arrival time of 4:30pm, and now showed a 7:30pm arrival time in Nashville.
"DAMMIT" he cursed as his cell phone rang
"You said a BAD word, daddy" Maddie sang as Deacon answered his phone
"Hello"
"Hey, Babe. Are you and Maddie at the airport?"
"Yep, been here over 2 hours. The arrival time just changed on the screen to 7:30pm." Deacon tried to keep the irritation out of his voce, but Rayna knew he was upset
"I'm sorry. Somethin's wrong with the plane. I couldn't call from the air. We just landed in Chicago. Tell Maddie I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna make it." Deacon could hear Rayna's voice cracking. He knew she missed Maddie horribly after 3 whole months away.
"You wanna talk to her? She's right here. Maddie C'mere. It's mom." He said as the little girl bounded over and grabbed the phone
"Mama, I got my purple tutu on, and we're here waiting to pick you up for my cital. Are you comin?" the little girl pleaded
"No, baby. I'm am soooo sorry sweetie! I'm stuck in Chicago for a little bit longer, but daddy's gonna take you to your recital, and I promise promise promise I will be there to tuck you in tonight, OK?" Maddie burst into a fit of tears as she shoved the phone back to Deacon
"I gotta go, Ray. She's in full melt down mode. She was so excited that you were gonna make this one." The line went dead
"Deacon, DEACON?" it was too late, he'd hung up. There was no point in calling him back. He was dealing with a temperamental 4 year old in a busy airport.
Maddie was extremely intelligent for her age. She was already showing signs of stardom. She could sing, and dance, and was excelling in pre-school. She had started to learn the piano, but her eyes always lit up when Deacon played guitar. He'd promised to teach her when she was big enough to hold one.
The downside to being the gifted artist type like her parents, was Maddie also got the worst of both Deacon and Rayna.
She had Rayna's diva tendencies, and Deacon didn't help matters much by ALWAYS giving her what she wanted. He felt bad with Rayna gone so much. He often indulged Maddie's every whim. She was his little angel, and had him completely wrapped around her finger.
The bad part was when Maddie didn't get her way it usually evolved into a fit of rage and tears. She certainly got her daddy's temper.
Maddie was sitting on the window ledge crying, large tears were running down her chubby cheeks. It broke Deacons heart every time his little girl cried like that.
"C'mere baby girl." Deacon softly said as he scooped Maddie into his arms and held her tight as the little girl sobbed into his chest
"I hate her!" Maddie cried as she tightened her grip on Deacon
"Hey, I don't want to hear that about your mama!" he firmly, but calmly said as he sat Maddie in a chair and wiped her tears away
"She NEVER comes when she says she will! I do hate her!" Maddie stated a little more forcefully
"Maddelynn Grace Claybourne, that is ENOUGH!" Deacon knew he was losing this battle. Maddie was a very headstrong little girl.
Rayna was the disciplinarian. Deacon was the "fun" parent that rarely said no.
He also rarely raised his voice to Maddie. In the 4 years since Maddie's birth he could count the times on one hand he'd really had to punish Maddie, and those times had hurt him a lot more than they'd hurt her.
He'd never physically punished Maddie, and swore he'd never lay a hand on her, no matter what she did. He'd suffered so much abuse in his own childhood, he was adamant that Maddie would never be exposed to that.
Rayna on the other hand, would spank Maddie, with an open palm on the butt if she really misbehaved.
Deacon didn't like it, and they'd had some pretty ugly fights over appropriate punishments for Maddie.
"Look, sweetheart, I know you're mad, and hurt, but we don't say we hate anyone, ever, OK?" Deacon was doing his best to avoid a colossal tantrum in the airport terminal
Maddie had stopped crying, but her little arms were folded on her chest and her bottom lip was out.
"C'mon, let's get you to your recital." Deacon said as he grabbed Maddie's hand
"NO" Maddie screamed
"MADDIE, PLEASE DON'T MAKE DADDY MAD, OK!"
"I DON'T CARE. I DO HATE HER. I'M NOT GOING TO MY TUPID CITAL!" Maddie was at an eardrum piercing decibel now with her screaming, and people were starting to notice
Deacon took a deep breath. He'd already had a bad day. His record label Belcort was breathing down his neck for new material, and he was struggling with writers block.
He still had his Thursday night Bluebird gig, but with Rayna gone he hadn't been able to make many of them lately to try out new material.
He wasn't touring with Rayna anymore. They'd talked when Maddie was around 2 ½ and decided Deacon would assume the stay at home dad role for a while so Rayna could go back on the road.
Deacon had done well with a solo album of his own, but Rayna's solo career was really taking off.
Rayna's last few months of pregnancy, and Maddie's first year of life had been the best ever time in their relationship. Deacon was so in love with a pregnant Rayna. He'd bonded with Maddie before she was ever born.
Deacon couldn't keep his hands off Rayna's belly. He'd sing and play guitar for Maddie just to get a reaction, and she usually kicked and wiggled at the sound of his voice.
They both took an entire year off after the first tour to settle into married life, and get used to having a baby.
The tour had been an amazing success. Their first album had released. They were newlyweds, and Maddie's due date was looming.
They'd bought a secluded cabin about an hour outside Nashville. As soon as they'd stepped on the huge porch facing the Cumberland River, and before they'd even set foot inside they'd both said they wanted it.
So many of Maddie's firsts had happened in the cabin. Her first smile, first words…"daddy" of course had been her first word followed shortly after by "mama". Deacon swore she said "guitar" before "mama", but he let Rayna have "mama". He knew it stung a little that Maddie was such a daddy's girl.
By the time Maddie was a year old Rayna was begging Deacon to move back to the city. They were both working again, and the hour commute with a toddler was just too much.
They settled for a modest tri-level with room for a studio, and office space for both of them. There were 3 bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen, and a swimming pool. Everything they needed and minutes from downtown Nashville.
They held on to the cabin for weekend getaways, and Deacon loved to fish when he had time, but the cabin visits were fewer and further between as life, schedules, and music took over. It had been nearly 2 years since they'd spent any time there as a family.
They'd tried a year- long US tour as a couple again when Maddie was 18 months old. By that point they'd been married 2 years. The newlywed bliss had worn off, and living on a bus with a toddler was not a good time for either of them.
They'd found out the hard way Maddie easily got motion sickness. Deacon spent more time than he cared to remember cleaning up puke that year. Rayna couldn't do it without gagging. Potty training had been nearly impossible on a bus with the crazy schedules, or lack of.
Maddie barely slept on the bus, and if she did it was between Rayna and Deacon which meant their love life was non-existent for almost an entire year.
Deacon had wanted to hire a nanny, but Rayna was completely against it. She had been raised almost entirely by nannies, while her own mother Virginia Wyatt toured, and her dad was just too busy to deal with Rayna and Tandy.
To this day Rayna had refused Deacon's pleas to hire some help with Maddie. While Rayan toured it was entirely up to him to deal with all things Maddie. Tandy was available to help, but Deacon hated to bug her a lot. She worked full time for Lamar.
By the time Maddie was 2 ½ , and after the horrendous attempt at the family bus tour, it was clear things were not working.
Deacon and Rayna were at an all- time low in their marriage, barely speaking, and at each-other's throats when they did.
They finally sat down for a serious heart to heart, and decided that since Rayna's career was doing the best she'd continue touring solo, and Deacon would return to Nashville with Maddie to give her some stability and more of a regimented schedule better suited for an active toddler.
They also both felt some serious time apart might be a good thing. The year on the bus had been really hard on the marriage. Rayna had even suggested divorce at one point during a nasty fight.
It was the one and only time the D word ever came up. Neither of them wanted that, but the music industry, and the lifestyle had taken its toll on their marriage just like everyone said it would.
Deacon had walked out on Rayna that night, but came back the next day tearfully pleading with her not to leave him, and not to take Maddie away from him.
They had gotten some counseling, and Rayna continued to tour so they were away from each other for a while.
Rayna had been touring solo for 2 years now. She was normally home a couple times a month, but this last leg in Europe had been a full 3 months away with no time to come home. It was an 11 hour flight, and there just wasn't time between shows.
Deacon considered flying over to see Rayna, but Maddie still had motion sickness issues so a flight that long would be more than she could handle. She was good for a 3 or 4 hour flight, but usually after that she would start to whine about feeling sick.
Deacon was happy Rayna was about to come home for a few months. He was looking forward to celebrating their 5 year anniversary, and Rayna wasn't planning anymore touring until January 1998. They'd be together through the holidays and he wanted to spend some time at the cabin as a family.
Maddie had been missing Rayna a lot lately and needed some quality time with her mama. Rayna had promised once she got home it was all about family for the rest of 1997, and the only exception was the night of the CMA's.
She had her 6th nomination. She'd had 3 wins since the 1992 album. Deacon had had one win of his own for his one and only solo album, and they'd won in 1992 with No One Will Ever Love You as a couple.
"Honey, please…daddy's had a tough day. C'mon, let's get you to your recital. You get to dance with all your friends. You like that sweetie, and they'll miss you if you don't go." Deacon was trying to calm down himself and diffuse the Maddie bomb
"NO, MAMAS NOT COMIN. I'M NOT GOIN. I DON'T WANNA. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!' Maddie continued with the high pitched screams
Deacon was losing patience. He glanced at the clock on the wall 6:30pm. He needed to get Maddie downtown by 7.
Talking to her wasn't working. He knew if he could just get her to the dance studio with her friends she'd forget about Rayna for a while anyway. He took another deep breath and picked Maddie up. She immediately went into full on temper tantrum mode as he walked through the airport with a kicking screaming 4 year old in his arms.
"PUT ME DOWN. I DON'T WANNA GO. I HATE YOU! I HATE MAMA. NO BODY LOVES ME. I DON'T WANNA GO DADDY….NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed all the way to the truck
Deacon struggled to get Maddie buckled into her car seat, as she continued to fight him, and squirm, all the while continuing to scream at the top of her lungs.
He finally got her buckled in and climbed into the driver's seat. He turned up the radio to drown out her tantrum as he pulled out of the airport parking lot. She continued to scream for the next 15 minutes anyway until she realized she wasn't getting a reaction from Deacon anymore.
He pulled into the dance studio parking lot. Maddie was quiet as he shut off the radio and engine. He glanced in the rearview mirror at his little girl. Her face was red and tear stained, but she wasn't screaming at least for the time being.
He got out and walked around to unbuckle Maddie. He scooped her into his arms and into a hug.
"I love you, baby girl." He whispered as he stroked her hair and wiped her tears away
"I love you too, daddy." She said as she tightened her grip around his neck
"You ready for your recital?"
"Do I have to go, daddy?"
"No, baby. You don't, but all these people are here to see you dance. Just like all mommy and daddy's fans buy tickets to see us sing. It's not fair to these people that want to see you dance if you don't show up now is it?" he tried to reason with a now much calmer Maddie
"…and I really want to see my little ballerina dance, OK? Can you do that for me sweetie, please?"
"OK, daddy" she smiled at Deacon
"That's my girl." Deacon was happy the tantrum was over, but he was exhausted.
An hour later a happy Maddie was jabbering away in her car seat behind Deacon about the recital and her purple tutu, and someone else's pink tutu.
"Can we get ice cream, daddy?"
"You haven't even had dinner." Deacon said as he realized with the airport delay and tantrum he'd forgot and really hadn't had time to feed Maddie dinner.
"How about pizza, and if you eat a whole piece, we'll get ice cream on the way home?"
"OK, daddy." Maddie happily chirped from the backseat
2 hours later at almost 10:30pm Deacon pulled into the driveway at home. He hadn't heard from Rayna since he'd hung up on her at the airport, but every light in the house was on so she was home.
"Mamas home, mamas home." Maddie happily cheered from the back seat, and had her car seat unbuckled, ice cream cone dripping all over her shirt, and was out the door before Deacon even got the key out of the ignition.
Deacon walked in the back kitchen door to a very happy little girl in her mama's arms, jabbering about the recital, as Rayna dabbed her shirt trying to get the chocolate ice cream out of it.
"My favorite site in the world. My girls together." Deacon said as he wrapped his arms around both of his girls and kissed Rayna
"I've missed you so much baby." He whispered in Rayna's ear
"I wouldn't know with the way you hung up on me earlier." Rayna said with some irritation in her voice
"I'm sorry, OK? Maddie was about to throw a fit." He said as he put the leftover pizza in the fridge
"Yeah mom, you promised you'd be at my cital, and you lied." Maddie suddenly remembered that Rayna had broken a promise.
"I'm so sorry baby. Why don't you go upstairs and take off those sticky clothes. Pick out some pajamas and a book. I'll be up to give you a bath and read to you, OK?"
"OK, mama." Maddie agreed as she bounded up the stairs full of energy on an ice cream high.
"Are you hungry, Ray? Leftover pizza?" Deacon said as he took Rayna in his arms, and attempted a kiss.
"Pizza and chocolate ice cream at 10:30pm, Deacon, REALLY? She's never gonna go to sleep." Rayna said as she pulled away from him.
"I'm sorry, Ray. You know we didn't have time for dinner between the airport and recital."
"…and the ice cream?" Rayna asked
"She asked if we could get ice cream. She was really upset about you missing the recital. What's the big damn deal, Ray?"
"The big deal, Deacon is we've talked about this. You just give her whatever she wants whenever she wants it. You have to learn to tell her no once in a while."
"Well, you know, tonight wasn't really a good night to upset her more, Ray. You didn't see how hurt and upset she was that you didn't make her recital."
"Oh and that's my fault? I had no control over it, Deacon."
"I'm not sayin it's your fault, Ray…I just…I don't know what the hell I'm sayin, or why we're even arguing." Deacon was getting frustrated. Rayna had gone back to doing dishes.
"MAMA, ARE YOU COMING?" Maddie yelled from the top of the stairs
"I'll be right there, baby."
"Can you finish loading the dishwasher, PLEASE, Deacon? This place is a mess."
"FINE, RAY…ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA BITCH ABOUT TONIGHT, HUH?" Deacon asked, as his anger from the entire day finally got the best of him. Rayna simply signed and stomped upstairs.
"WELCOME THE HELL HOME, RAY!" Deacon yelled as Rayna got to the top of the stairs.