Disclaimers: All standard apply

Notes: For It's Always Been's 8th challenge

Zeal

He awakens slowly, stiff and disoriented. With all that his body has endured and the natural course of aging, it is not a rare way for his day to begin. He is sore from the exertion of fighting, weak from poisoning and older than he'd like to be. This morning, he's not hungover. It's the only unusual aspect of how he feels. He used to think of himself as immortal, a force of nature, a mythic figure. He was a phoenix. It is only in recent months that he has had to admit that he is just as mortal as the rest of the peons. It's a sobering thought that, ironically, makes him want to drink.

Though he feels about as he expects to, something is not right this morning. He resists opening his eyes. Even behind closed lids, he knows the lighting is all wrong for his bedroom. Nothing feels or smells familiar. He is holding a pillow. It doesn't quite feel like one of his. He's not so awake that he can place the source of the highly irregular, yet highly familiar ticking noise that is somewhere in the room. When he finally cracks an eye open, he is greeted with the bare knee of a woman just inches from his nose. Pepper Potts sits beside him, legs crossed with a laptop computer balanced her knees. Another two pillows cushion her back, which would be otherwise leaning against the headboard. She's wearing one of his shirts, buttoned up with the sleeves rolled to her elbows, but has not purloined pants. Her panties are visible, lacy, and honestly, much sexier than he would have expected from her.

If she's aware at all that he has woken up, she doesn't show it. She's wholly absorbed by her computer; typing in quick, short bursts, then lingering over what she has written. Tony listens to the cycle a few more times, focusing on the noise until all the sleep-fog in his head has evaporated.

By the time he is fully awake and alert, Tony has remembered how they spent the night. Explosions had taken out most of the Stark Expo and all of their packed belongings. SHIELD had nabbed them both for a debriefing, but near midnight they had been able to abscond to his penthouse in Manhattan. Pepper came empty handed. She didn't have anything left but the clothes she had been wearing, so she had needed to borrowed a shirt of his to sleep in. As the penthouse was not one of his more spacious properties, there was only a single bedroom. In light of dramatic changes - the revelation of his health probably influenced Pepper's choice more than the urgency with which he'd devoured her lips at every opportunity - they had decided to share the bed, rather than banish someone to the couch. Underneath the covers, they'd pieced together everything they knew about Vanko and his family history, Hammer and his plots, Natalie and SHIELD, palladium poisoning and his father's element. They both knew they didn't have the full story. It was doubtful they ever would. It was too late for Ivan Vanko, too late for Howard Stark. Natalie had disappeared. Some of Hammer's machinations would come out in his trial, but he was rich enough that a lot of what he had done would stay buried.

She's been oblivious to him long enough. Tony draws her attention with an errant finger that traces the crease of her bare knee. Tossing the pillow on the floor with his other hand, Tony asks, "What are you doing?"

Pepper looks him over. Squaring her shoulders, she turns back to her screen. "Writing my address for the press conference where I announce my resignation."

"What?" he demands, hauling himself upright. Tony had thought that was settled before he ever took the armor off. "No."

"Tony," she exhales, "Jokes about it are cute, but this is happening."

"I won't allow it."

"It's not your choice," she sighs, eyes focused on the screen. "I can't run your company. As the CEO, the buck should stop with me and it doesn't. It's all about you and what you do. When I try to handle it, I get told no from everyone. Our lawyers, our engineers. I argued with the President of the United States, Tony. I lost. The media tears me down, tells the public I have no credentials and then wonders why I'm not doing anything. I have no real power, but everything is my fault. That's not what I signed up for. I signed up to run a company."

"That's finished now," he huffs. Ultimately, these problems seemed from the arc technology. "Vanko -"

"There are going to be others, Tony," Pepper sighs. "It's not over. This is my decision. If you don't want to be CEO, fine. It should be you, but I can't force you to do it. Just don't expect anyone else to fair any better than me."

Her words sting. He knows he wasn't always responsible, but he'd been getting better, he thought. "I've just - I've been trying to do the right thing."

"I know," she says, "but...things aren't going to be perfect immediately. It's great that you're trying. It is. But you're not there yet. I can't hold your hand and guide you there."

He rubs his face with his palms. He isn't ready to concede defeat, exactly, even if he is old and tired and she is steady and reasonable. "Okay, can I just say this is a really weird conversation to have in bed?"

She quirks an eyebrow at him. "Is it really any stranger than last night?"

He takes a moment to reevaluate his memory of last night. The woman he'd spent months longing for finally slipped into his bed - one of his beds - to discuss the theft of his intellectual property and corporate sabotage. "No. But I'm always up to try new things."

She blushes, a deep pink coloring her cheeks, creeping down her neck. He leans towards her, but she stops him with a hand pressed to his chest. "No kissing until you've brushed your teeth."

"What? You don't love me enough to deal with a little morning breath?" He means it as a tease, but she pushes harder and her skin flushes darker. "I don't mind yours. I love you enough."

"I already brushed my teeth," she says primly, ignoring the half-jest confession. "Also, there's fresh coffee in the kitchenette."

"All right then," he says, clapping his palms on his knees. "If that's how its going to be. I shall be in the bath," he declares, throwing the sheet off with a flourish, "Making myself presentable."

"You can try," she mumbles, pressing her back against the pillows and refocusing her efforts onto the laptop.

When he looks back over his shoulder, she's watching him. The corners of her lips curl. "I could use some help," he calls back.

"Busy," Pepper says quietly.

"You are coming dangerously close to a meeting with the disciplinary committee," Tony announces. They had made a lunch date and Pepper is pleased to see that he is seated in one of the lounges in the basement rather than elbow deep in a greasy mechanical project when she arrives to pick him up. Drawing him out of his den and into the outside world is no new task for Pepper, but it is one she enjoys significantly more as his better half. Being his assistant had been challenging and usually satisfying, but the rewards of their social relationship are ...comparable.

"I've been wondering how you would word adding spanking to our repertoire."

"My reputation for being the one with sex on the brain is completely unfounded," he grouses as he stands. "It's been a month. You have taken an extended leave of absence that's exceeded even what I can allow a CEO."

Pepper stares him in the eye, prior amusement slipping away. "I'm not having this argument again," she declares.

"You should come back here," Tony says as he strides to her. Upon reaching his destination, he takes her hands, threading his fingers through hers. "You aren't making good use of your skills where you are."

Pepper raises an eyebrow. "You have no idea what I do."

"I know enough," he answers.

"Is that so?"

"You're not happy where you are."

"Happiness and using ones skills are not the same thing," Pepper replies.

"I'm pretty sure they're close," he counters.

"They can be," she admits, "but not always. I went to school for accounting. When I was younger, that's what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. And now, I've grown. I've changed. I've seen more of the world than I ever dreamed I would. I don't think I could do accounting for the rest of my life. But until tax season, I have a nine to five job that isn't exhausting. I get to go home and think about something other than work. I read more. I started cooking again." She looks down at their intertwines hands, hanging between their bodies and smiles. "I have time for a boyfriend. I like having all these things in my life."

"I thought you liked working all time," he frowns.

"I did. I do. I was passionate about what I did at Stark International, which was the only reason I lasted so long. You can't go non-stop at your job unless you really love it. But I also used to watch you as the CEO, and I was so frustrated and jealous because I was sure that I could do better. I thought Stark Industries was just a means to an end to you, that you didn't love it like I did. Like I do. I know better now. This company is your legacy, and your father's. I know how much that means to you. It's important to me, too. But," Pepper confesses gravely, "I hated being CEO."

"Then come back and do something else!" he exclaims.

"Do what?" Pepper asks, tired. "Be your assistant again? Tony, I don't want to take a step backwards."

Incredulous, he asks, "What do you call the job you have now?"

"The chance to figure out what I want for my future. All the choices I made before I worked for you, I made as a different person. I could go anywhere from here."

What Tony hears is, "I held you back."

She shakes her head. "No."

"Pepper, I - I made you waste so much of your life."

"Tony. That's not what I'm saying at all."

"Yes, it is! You were stuck standing behind me instead of, instead of - doing whatever it is you do!"

"I'm an accountant," she says patiently. "And as we've been over, I don't particularly like it."

"You wanted to be CEO and I ruined that for you."

"I don't know what I want," Pepper says. "I'm figuring it out. We all have to, sooner or later."

"Then figure it out here."

"I won't have time to figure out anything here," she says, dropping his hands. Pepper wraps her arms around Tony's shoulders, drawing him close. "You'll just steal me away forever."

"I won't," he promises firmly. "I'll be better. Take care of things on my own more."

"You won't," Pepper says, shaking her head and smiling. "It's okay. You're you, I love you, and I'm not asking you to change. All the changing you've done, you've needed to do for yourself. I'm proud of you for that. You're figuring yourself out and I need to do the same. I'm not saying I need to do that away from you, or that I regret all the time I worked for you."

"I miss you," he confesses.

"You see me all the time," Pepper laughs.

His eyes narrow. "What about tax season?"

"During tax season," she answers cautiously, "I'll be busy."

"As in, your boss will steal you away from the rest of the world busy?"

Pepper mulls it over in her mind. "Very likely."

"So, there's no difference between working there and for me after all. You might as well come back."

"There is a big difference."

"Like what?"

"Having passion for what you do is important, but at my new job, I'm not in love with my boss."