War for the World
Disclimer:
Me: Hello This is the first fic I've made that wasn't about Kingdom Hearts. I hope it doesn't suck. Also I don't own anything of Alien Hominid, Invader Zim, or Destroy All Humans.
This takes place in present times, Zim is still trying to enslave earth for the mighty Irken race but he meets his old rival on an attempt to brainwash the president. Cryptosporidium-137, The greatest warrior of the Furon empire, has already taken hold of most of the planet. Zim and Crypto are mortal enemies do to an ancient blood feud as old as the races themselves. So now they plan to battle for the right of the planet's conqueror. Even worse, a creature referred to as the "Alien Hominid" by the humans has crash landed on the planet, and must now do battle with Zim and Crypto to gain the necessary items to fix his space vessel. But does the Hominid play another role besides the annoying interruption between the Furon and Irken? Who will win this war on humanity?
P.S. Is it coincidence that Orthopox and Zim have the same voice actor? I think not.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ch1: Let the War Commence!
"Well, well, well. If it isn't my old pal, Little Green!"
"Silence! My name is Zim, ZIM! Get it through your thick head you stinky poop sack!"
"Aw, now that kinda talk can really hurt a guy's feelings, Greeny, maybe I should teach you a little discipline!"
Zim had shown up for his mission to brainwash the president so that he could control the entire country, but when he had gotten there he found that his old nemesis had beaten him to the punch. Cryptosporidium, of the hated Furon race, had assassinated the president and used his incredible powers known as the "Hollobob", which let him transform his shape at will, to take the presidents form and order the humans to do his bidding.
"It was my job to control the president's mind and then control the world, The World! Now you have ruined my plans! I shall destroy you, Cryptosporidium!"
"Please, green, call me Crypto."
Zim had brought out his laser and Crypto was now holding his Disintegrator gun.
"Well, Green, you look well. How ya been since our last encounter?"
"Silence, Furon swine!" Zim was ready to start blasting Crypto to bits.
"Whoa now, you wouldn't wanna be doing anything your gonna regret now would ya?"
Zim started blasting off his laser cannon but Crypto had flown out of the way with his jetpack.
"Your out of your league, Green!" Crypto shot his weapon at Zim's and it immediately fell apart into a pile of ash.
"Dang you, Crypto! Dang you to heck!" Zim yelled as his adversary flew around the room.
"Aww, what's the matter, Little Green? Tall ones didn't give you a jetpack?"
Zim's spider pack sprouted robotic legs and he jumped up and tackled Crypto through the window.
"Jetpacks are so old, These new robo-legs are the wave of the future!" Zim said while they were falling.
They smacked down in the grass and rolled out into the street, cars were swerving to avoid them and were crashing into nearby trees.
Zim brought up one of his robo-legs and stabbed it down at Crypto's head, it hit inches away when he moved it. He rolled out from under Zim and got him with his Zap-O-Matic.
"I would like to say that I am honored to receive this award for best invasion! Ughhh." Zim had toppled over, very dizzy from the 10,000 volts of electricity that had gone through him.
Crypto was standing over him ready to finish the job when he got a message from Orthopox.
"Whaddaya want , Poxy? I'm in the middle of somethin' right now".
"Crypto! You imbecile, you've blown your cover! Majestic is on its way, get out of there!"
"Sorry, Green, but I gotta split. I don't really feel like getting dissected today."
"Ahhh! Little green men!" One person said as they ran screaming in terror.
Crypto's eye twitched.
"I…am not…green!" He yelled as he started to fry them all and tear out their brain stems.
Majestic came just in time to see Crypto yank someone's brain out by hand.
"There they are! The little green martains! Blast them!"
"What is it with you stupid humans?! Are you blind?! I'm not green!"
Zim got up out of the street to find himself and Crypto surrounded by men in black suites, with technology far more advanced then usual.
"Wait a moment, isn't that your technology?" Zim said when he pointed at one of the guns.
"Ya, hehe, funny story actually. I kinda crash landed awhile ago and they sorta figured out how to make my weapons."
"Such technology should not be allowed in the hands of these stupid humans! How could you be so careless?!"
"Hey, shut up, I've been destroying them all, soon there wont be any left."
Zim and Crypto were now back to back, surrounded by majestic operatives.
"Boy this sure does bring back memories doesn't it, Little Green?"
"Yes, some very unpleasant memories." Zim said through his teeth "So, how shall we defeat them? I was thinking if I shot that-"
One of Crypto's ion detonators went off, blowing a path through the crowd of enemies.
"Then again, that would work to. If you want to do it the easy way." Zim grumbled.
Crypto blasted away on his jetpack, but Zim's Spider pack had been damaged in the fall from the window.
"Well at least we'll get one of them, Take him men!" One of the Majestic operatives said.
"Think again you Filthy Human Meat pigs!" Zim said.
His hands dove into his spider pack and pulled out a little green dog.
"Hi everybody! You killed my Tacos!"
"Gir! Use your Rockets to get us out of here!"
"Yes Sir!" the little green dog said with a salute.
Zim hopped on and they took off like a fighter jet. They left a sonic boom that shattered all of the windows on the black Majestic cars.
"Darn! How are we gonna tell Mr. D that we let both of em get away?"
…
Zim and Gir crashed into their living room, Gir started rolling around on the floor yelling "Whoo-Hoo! Let's do it again!"
"Never again! Ok, My dreaded arch enemy of the Furons is also invading this planet. Let's see now."
Zim started pacing around the room thinking of a way to solve this little problem.
"Maybe I could- no, no, that's stupid. Or maybe- no, that wouldn't work."
Gir was sitting on the couch watching him pace back and forth, he was eating popcorn that he had managed to put into his head.
"I've got it! Why didn't I think of it before?! I'll get Dib to get his crazy FBI friends to get rid of Crypto for
me! Muahahahaha!" he let out an evil laugh of pure genius.
"HAHAHAHAHA! Why are we laughing?" Gir asked, scratching his open head.
"Gir, I have a job for you. Take this letter to the annoying psycho boy's house. Make sure he gets it!"
"Okie-Dokie!" Gir said. He zipped the head of his dog suite back on and skipped out the door.
"You may be ruling this world now, but I shall have the last laugh! Bwhahaha, Bwaha, Bwahahahaha!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Me:Okay then, there it is. Chapter one outta the way. Hope it didn't suck.
Gir: Hi Mr. Story fairy! Can I have some mashed potatoes?
Me:Not right now, Gir.
Gir: (Lets out an ear-splitting scream) AHHH-AHHH-AHHHHH!