yayyy! my new obsession! XD i'm just addicted to the yaoi (or slash, i suppose, since it's not japanese) aren't i? ironically enough, i became addicted to it by searching for Remus/Tonks fics...now MoonFoot overpowers all.
this shall be several chapters cause i feel like it. i tried for funny, but it turns angsty later.
damn that angst. anyway, hope you enjoy! and review, dammit! i'm in no position to ask for it, but pleeeaaasse? *bats eyelashes* pwetty pwease with a substantial helping of whipped cream- oops, i mean, cweam- on top?

oh, and i don't own these lovely characters (i.e. James, Peter, Lily, etc.) whose sexuality i'm skewing for my own enjoyment(i.e. Remus, Sirius). :D they all belong to J.K. Rowling, lucky bird.

It was a well-known fact that Remus Lupin was terrible at Potions. He accelled in all other classes he took, but for some reason, Potions was his Achilles' Heel. Luckily, however, the unfortunate werewolf was usually paired by Professor Slughorn with Sirius Black, longtime friend and that-kid-who's-great-at-everything-including-Potions, which meant that Remus usually got away with a passing grade in the class.

The one thing Sirius Black didn't appear to have any skill in, however, was tact. And discretion. And manners.

They were currently attempting to make a diluted form of the love potion Amortentia- or, at least, Remus was, with occasional instructions from Sirius, who had finished his already- and his supposed partner had taken the mortar he was supposed to be mashing peppermint with and had refused to give it back. He was using it for a variety of obscene gestures to make their two other friends in the class, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, roar with laughter. Remus rolled his eyes and did his best to ignore them, but finally, he'd had enough.

"Sirius," Remus said, attempting to use his most patient voice, usually the one he reserved for small children. "I need the mortar." He didn't really need it; his potion was just completed, thanks to assistance from Lily Evans. He just wanted the dark-haired pureblood to shut up.

Sirius glanced over at him from where he had been preforming a very provocative motion with the stone tool behind Slughorn's back. "You sure you want it now, Moony?" he teased, giving his friend a wink and rubbing his hand slowly up and down the mortar. Remus sighed.

"I don't care, Sirius. Just give me the mortar." Sirius pouted at him, and Remus knew he was in for a fight.

"No," Sirius said stubbornly, folding his arms and glaring at him, the mortar still clutched in one hand. Remus knew the boy wouldn't give it up willingly, but if he could get him to loosen his grip...

Remus thought fast and affected the most shocked and disgusted expression he could. Sirius frowned, and Remus pointed behind him, speaking in a choked voice.

"James...Wormtail...augh, it's disgusting! I can't look anymore!" A large part of Remus' brain-all of it, in fact- was sure this wasn't going to work, but to his surprise, Sirius looked behind him interestedly, searching for the reason for his friend's horror. Distracted, the mortar hung loosely in his fingers...

Moving quickly, Remus reached out to grab the stone. Sirius, however, reacted at the last second, backing up slightly and forcing the teen to take another step forward to keep his balance, knocking into his cauldron and spilling it...

All over Sirius.

No one moved for a second. They were all staring at Sirius, who was standing still, the remains of the potion dripping from his dark hair onto the floor. Remus stood, horrified, and watched a dreamy expression come over his friend's features; the mortar, now forgotten, dropped to the floor with a loud crack that made half the room jump. James and Peter, realizing that something was terribly wrong, wandered over to where Remus was still standing, frozen in shock.

James was the first to break the silence. "Padfoot? Padders, mate? Are you alright?"

Sirius looked at him dreamily, his eyes distant and unfocused. "Hey, Jamsie?" he asked, softly. James blinked.

"Yeah, Pads?" he responded.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked, looking around him with a tiny smile on his face. Remus felt his stomach drop. This could not be happening...

He attempted to edge behind James and Peter, so the dark-haired Animagus wouldn't see him, but unfortunately, the movement had exactly the opposite effect. Sirius' eyes snapped directly to them, and suddenly they were bright and clear, but glassy, like someone with a terrible fever.

"REMUS!" Sirius shouted joyfully, and tackled his best friend to the ground. Remus let out a distinctly feminine squeak as the larger boy's weight hit him fully, and he flushed red when Sirius put his arms around the other boy's neck and whispered loudly, "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

James snickered, and Remus knew immediately that his life was about to become hell.

A trip to Madam Pomfrey's was in order after that fiasco, during which Remus was forced to wait out in the hall until his friends emerged, both looking highly amused and being trailed by a chuckling Professor Slughorn.

"He's taken quite a fancy to you, lad," he said, clapping the miserable boy on the shoulder. "I must say, that's got to be the strongest mixture of Amortentia I've ever seen you make. Keep it up, my boy, keep it up!" Slughorn chuckled some more to himself, his large moustache quivering. "Oh, and I should be able to have an antidote ready by tomorrow. He should be right as rain after that!" Slughorn smiled cheerfully at Remus, who nodded hopefully.

As the professor departed down the hall, the three boys turned and made their way to the Great Hall for dinner.

James grinned and punched Remus playfully in the shoulder. "Hey, I think you and Sirius might have some 'chemistry' there!" he joked, and Peter laughed loudly.

Remus shook his head and glared at the two boys. "You're being ridiculous," he said. James grinned at him cheekily.

"Well, with Padders stuck in the infirmary 'til the antidote comes, I've got to step in and be devilishly handsome, yet terribly charming, for two people now instead of one!" he explained, grinning as Remus rolled his eyes. "But really, I think there might be something between you two. It's all so romantic." James pressed a hand to his heart dramatically, completing the image with a melodramatic sigh. "Met over a mortar...I bet you really didn't expect to stumble into love like that, did you, Moony?"

At that, he and Wormtail dissolved into laughter again. Remus folded his arms and strode ahead of them, ignoring their giggling apologies, until they reached the Great Hall.

Of course, the news of the love potion mishap had already spread like wildfire. All over the massive dining hall, people were turning curious stares to Remus and whispering amongst themselves. Remus even caught a few of Sirius' admirers sending him jealous glares. Remus sighed and put his head in his hands. What had he done to deserve this?

James noticed his misery and clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Mooners. Don't worry about it," he said with a grin. "I'm sure ol' Sluggy will be able to whip up an antidote, no problem. It'll all be over tomorrow."