Slowly

It was their sixth date before Carlos finally invited Cecil into his apartment. Not because he was ashamed of it, and certainly not because he didn't like Cecil. But inviting one's boyfriend into one's residence came with certain strings attached (so did referring to someone as one's boyfriend, but Carlos tried not to actively think about that). And Cecil was SO eager, and Carlos could see and hear the restraint he put into every interaction.

And once again, he liked Cecil. A lot. Unfortunately, his relationships moved at a glacial pace, if they progressed at all, and Cecil had been madly in love for over a year now. It was a familiar situation for the scientist, and was the main reason he had stopped meeting people, stopped dating, moved across the country to stop his friends from setting him up on yet another blind date that would end in disappointment. Sometimes they were nice. That made it even harder.

But Cecil, with his adoring eyes and playful teasing and enthusiasm for everything Carlos did, had worn him down. And now he was outside Carlos's door, holding a covered dish with that nervous, hopeful smile on his face, craning his neck to see the mysterious apartment.

"Come in, I'm almost finished," Carlos said a little stiffly.

Once inside, Cecil managed to flutter in excitement, even holding the dish. At last he set it down on the counter next to Carlos and lifted the lid.

"I – I made a hedgehog," he blurted out.

Carlos turned away from the oven. "Sorry, what?"

"A hedgehog! It's a… a recipe I picked up while I was in Europe. I thought it was… neat."

Carlos peered nervously into the dish, and he laughed. It looked like a mixture of soft cheeses molded into the shape of a hedgehog, with cracker tips for spines and olives for eyes. It was surrounded by a nest of crackers.

"Oh! It's like a cheese ball… Is that cheese?"

"Yes." Cecil's nerves were overpowering his eagerness now, and his smile was faltering.

"Very neat." Carlos grinned. "And pretty cute, too. I like it."

The smile was back in an instant, twice as strong. "Really?"

They nibbled at the hedgehog and crackers before sitting at the table for a red and green enchilada casserole, then fried bananas over rice pudding. They ate and talked and laughed and relaxed. This wasn't bad, Carlos decided. As long as there was a set agenda to adhere to…

Cecil helped him clean up afterwards, and put away leftovers. And he didn't have a movie preference, other than, "Whatever you want, my lovely Carlos."

The scientist put in Young Frankenstein, still bright red.

While Cecil perched in the middle of the left side of the sofa, Carlos sat pressed against the right arm. He felt Cecil sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye now and then. Soon enough, the radio host started commenting on the movie, pitching his voice low so as not to talk over the voices from the TV.

"That man reminds me of Steve Carlsburg," Cecil murmured as the doctor defended his name and beliefs against his snarky student.

Carlos laughed softly.

"She won't even let him – Look, that's ridiculous, he's leaving, and she's worried about her dress?"

"No, look, they come up with a compromise," Carlos mumbled.

"I suppose…" Cecil looked doubtful. "They just seem to have very different… priorities."

"Maybe… maybe she's just worried about what it means if he touches her," Carlos said stiffly, feeling like a bit of an idiot because he knew what happened later in the film. "Maybe she doesn't want… more than that."

"They're in the middle of a crowded train station, and have very little time." Cecil sounded unconvinced.

"Well – I… Okay, yeah, she's… well honestly, I don't think she cares much about him, and I don't care for her character. But that's… that doesn't mean that… any time someone doesn't want… a certain level of contact… that they don't care for the other person," he muttered.

Cecil blinked. "Of course not. Who said anything like that?"

"I…" Carlos slumped back into the sofa cushions. "I'm sorry, I'm… kind of on-edge. I'm just… I don't know." Cecil was staring at him, confused, and he should have stopped, but he found that he couldn't. "I just don't want to go too fast – and I know by now it's not considered too fast, but I – I'm weird about these things, and I know you want more out of this, and I'm SORRY, I don't want to disappoint you, but I can't, that's why I didn't want you to come to my apartment before, I thought you'd take it as an invitation to more, and I… I can't do it, I'm sorry. …And this is why I've never been in a relationship longer than a couple months. GOD." Carlos hugged his knees to his chest and let his head fall on them.

"You should have said something before," Cecil said quietly. "I thought… but then why did you… kiss me?"

"That's… I was just caught in the moment, and I… well, I just wanted to, honestly. That's not the problem, though. I'm just not… not ready for… more than that. You know, sex…"

Cecil stared at him a moment longer before barking out a short laugh and shaking his head. "Oh! Oh no, I… I was afraid you just kissed me because you thought I wanted it, not because… because YOU did. And I did, I mean, it's… GREAT, and I love it, but… I hadn't really thought about sex yet, to be honest." He reddened considerably. "I mean, other than the fact that eventually it might come up. But I like… where we are now. It's nice." He smiled shyly.

Carlos let out a low laugh of sheer relief. "It is," he agreed softly, and scooted closer. Cecil did the same, hesitantly, and Carlos wrapped an arm around him. Cecil hummed with pleasure and snuggled his head into Carlos's shoulder. His right arm curved up the scientist's back to rub tenderly at the back of his head. The two leaned closer just basking in each other's warm presence until the buzzing noise from the pipes became too loud and they had to turn on all the faucets to release the invisible drain wisps.