Power Struggle

For the longest time I have wondered about the fate of our world.

My army is powerful, as is that of Mordor's, but you, old friend, have refused my offer to join and reign over the miserable failures that plague Middle Earth. No, you chose the elves. You chose the elves, the hobbits, the men…you chose the weak side. And now you can no longer walk in my footsteps of advice and wisdom.

I can look out of my high tower of Isengard and see all that surrounds me. The orcs, working hard, forge weapons out of the strongest metals and cut down trees for the blazing fires as they prepare for a battle to end all others. The dam, standing strong, defies the force of the water and confines it to my liking. I can almost see the trees, the ents, groan and stir as they sense the coming of evil and doom.

But none of this comforts me. None of it brings the satisfaction that you brought me. And what good has turning against me brought you? You sat discarded on a tower, like some broken child's toy that no longer has meaning. And what am I, now that our trust has been broken? Am I a new enemy? Or am I just an old, lost friend?

When did this friendship begin to wilt? Was it when you saw me rising through the ranks in the council, not stopping till I reached the top? Or perhaps when you realized that I would not be on the losing side? The Eye sees all, old friend. He saw our bonds bend and coil until it snapped like a rusty wire, and he will see you and your alliance of men and elves fall to his forces.

I would give it all up for a single day walking through the forest, talking of nothing, and yet understanding everything. The power, the armies, the respect, the fear: all of it! Can you not see that? You think that you're doing the right thing, helping the weak, pitiful forces that don't stand a chance! But I can see through all that; I can see what you really want. You want power, a power that can not, will not be observed while I, Saruman the White, Saruman of Many Colors, stand next to the Dark Lord. If you had accepted my offer to rule then you would have had all that. You could have had all of that…and me.

Instead you chose a different army, one that you would be a hero of. Not "us", just "you".

Greed is a terrible thing, overtaking everything like a fire that dances on the breeze through a forest. It can strike anyone at anytime, uncaring of all it wrecks and destroys. All lives taken, hearts broken, families burned: it will overcome it. Why? Because it has power. Greed is power.

But power is not greed.

I know; I've seen it. I've seen it take the lives of youths, break the hearts of lovers and burn the families of old. Yes, I've seen it; I've felt it. When I saw the power of Mordor and The Dark Lord Sauron, I became hungry for a bite of it. I needed it, I still do. It's what I thrive off of: greed and fear of my enemies. Can't you be that way too? It's not so bad a life: a servant by your side, obeying every whim, multiple armies to win you prizes beyond imagination, and a feeling of supremacy that can never be matched. What a grand life!

Greed is power, but power is not greed. I could have all the power in the world and not want it. But I do want it; I want it very badly.

Is that why you deny my offers? You will not join me because you know I want you to join me. You see the greed, the power, in my eyes and you can feel it all around this sinister tower of mine. You refuse me because you know I can't refuse you.

Damn you.

Damn you and damn all your foolish fantasies of seeing everyone happy and calm. Damn all that makes you happy and calm, fool! Give a man a wish, and he'll wish for more wishes.

I could see you from here, you know. I could sit in a chair in my tower and gaze out the glass-free window at you as you crouched and thought of all the things that were going to happen. Were you dreaming of what it would have been like had you joined me? Or were you mourning the death of your precious Middle Earth?

You think I didn't know you'd escape? Ha, I'm not a fool like you. I know your powers and I can see through your mask of defeat. I watched you fly away back to all that you wanted to see free. And as I watched you do this, I smiled. For I knew that we would meet again, old friend, because you won't give this old friendship, this new hatred, up. You'll see me rot in my own greed, my own power, first.

I look forward to our next encounter, dear friend. I look forward to seeing you in all your glory, leading your forces into battle against mine. Perhaps then we can look at each and see not hatred or love: only power.

A/N: Wow…if I thought my rambling in reviews was bad, I never proofread my angsty love stories. LOL The whole thing has nothing and everything to do with itself! Oh well…this is my second Gandalf x Saruman slash. Not very prominent here, but you can tell it's there. If you weren't able to see it, reread it and think this time! Pitiful mortals…