8 Ways to Bag a Naru (based off of Quack says the T-Shape's 10 Ways to Bag an Uchiha)
Way #1 involves poetry.
"Naru, I have something to tell you!"
"It had better be important; I don't pay you to bother me with meaningless nonsense."
"Um…roses are red, violets are blue…"
"What does that have to do with the case?"
"Uh…the spirit once owned a flower shop? You know what, never mind."
Way #2 involves conversation.
"Naru, you wanted to see me?"
"No, I just asked you to make me more tea."
"Oh…well I mean I wanted to talk to you."
"Don't talk. It's highly unlikely anything you say will be intelligent or helpful."
"Grr…why do you have to be so rude all the time?"
"Because it annoys you."
Way #3 involves physical contact.
"Mai, the ground wasn't shaking so much that you had to throw yourself into me and cause us both to fall over."
"I didn't throw myself into you, you narcissistic jerk! You were supposed to catch me anyway!" *blush*
"Then try to be less careless. I don't need you impairing the investigation any more than you usually do."
"Oooo Naru…." *fumes*
Way #4 involves alcohol.
"Naru, don't you want to celebrate? I mean, it is SPR's 100th case solved!"
"I would appreciate it if you got that stuff out of my face. I don't drink sake or any other kind of alcoholic substance."
"Can you be any more difficult?"
Way #5 involves dancing.
"Dance with me, Naru!"
"No. Know you, you will probably trip and break your neck or something."
Way #6 involves an actual bag.
"Naru! There's a personal item that belonged to the spirit inside of this abnormally large bag! I think you should check it out!"
"Mai, I'm busy. Don't I pay you to do these things?"
"But…I'm not skilled enough!"
"Go ask Bou-san to take a look. I'm actually doing my job."
Way #7 involves seduction.
"Mai, why does the office smell like vanilla scented candles? It's annoying me."
"Naru, I…"
"And why is there a box of chocolates on my desk? I'm allergic to chocolate."
"I…"
"And why, pray tell, is there a condom on top of said box?"
"I think Masako came in earlier today."
Way #8 involves actual love.
"Naru, I've been meaning to tell you this but I don't know how. I love you, I have since I met you at my school. I know this probably won't work out and now it'll be awkward between us…"
"Mai."
"So I've decided I'm going to look for another job. I'm sure I can find another place to work…
"Mai."
"I mean this whole employee-boss thing would be totally odd, not to mention what my friends would say.
"Mai!"
"What, Naru?"
"I love you too. Don't leave."
"Well…in that case…"
"And bring me some more tea."
"Naru!"