Would you look at all the... pretty ladies...
How did I even get here anyway? A nice beach in south Puerto Rico with some lovey female specimens, I must have died in and gone to heaven.
Oh man... the one making the drinks, I cant see her face but dang. Just damn.
"Hey there baby, why don't you come a little closer?" I ask in the most seductive voice a Wheeler man is capable of. Mnnn accents get all the hunnies.
She turns, ahhh for some reason I'm to distracted by her everything else to see her face properly. Such lovey... tan skin. She got pretty close,leaning over, I could feel her mouth on my ear.
"What the fuck did you say to me Wheeler!?"
It was a mans voice and It scared the shit out of me so bad I fell out of my seat and hit the floor with my face.
It was over in a flash, the girls, the sweet beach...
Was that Kaiba's voice? What the hell kind of dream was that. I hope its not some kind of bad omen or something...
OH god I feel sick.
No wait... I just have to take a shit. I rush my ass to the bathroom, quickly slamming the door. After plopping myself on the royal throne I pull the trigger and release what sounded like a machine gun.
... Smelly. I had to light a match and wave it around a bit.
After... my 'business' was COMPLETED, I decided it was time to freshen myself up a bit for the day. Cant walk around smelling like an animal, that's just indecent.
I make my way to my bathroom mirror, boy... my hair is a freaking rats nest again today. Well! That's nothing some hair gel and my fingertips cant fix!
Now lets seee... oh my when did that piece of meat get stuck in my teeth... Better question is how long its been in there. Gross man.
I grab some floss and dig that shit out. Eww... my toothbrush is all crusty, OH WELL, mouth wash baby. It will get the job done.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
Oh crap! That's right!
I rush to my alarm clock, man... I really freaking late. I face palm, really hope they don't take it as a forfeit.
Forget the shower, Ill just spray on some "Nighttime Sexy For Men" Im sure no one will notice if I put it on thick enough.
Ok... Looking good and smelling decent, passable baby!
Time to move my ass.
After I nearly trip on my way out the door rushing out side I also manage to fall down some stairs.
Ouch.
I hit my eye on the railing. It better not leave a bruise... freaking stairs.
Ok... TIME TO MOVE!
I rush to my car, turn on the ignition, and shove my foot down on the petal. All the days to sleep in and I choose today... Wait scratch that, I always sleep in. Call it a nasty habit.
After speeding along some turns I screech to a stop at a red light, my body flying forward. I stare at it with all the urgency I could possibly muster. Mentally trying to turn it green with my will alone.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME OOOOOOOON!
And then it flashed green. I floored it, the car bolting forward.
Eventually, after a few more stop lights, I make it to my destination.
After mustering up the courage to check my watch... I wince, thirty minutes late. Well... shit, maybe Ill get lucky and have one of those people. You know, the really stupid aggressive types, the ones that wont take a forfeit as a win.
What? There are people out there who want to duel The Great Joey.
Don't laugh.
After a deep breath I decide to brave the building before me, here I come lucky duelist...
I pushed open a set of glass doors with both arms, standing bravely in the door way of the arena, ready for anything.
And there it is, you know that really awkward silence, kinda like the one you get when you try to sneak into class really late.
With all these eyes on me, I start to feel a little sheepish.
"So..." I begin to say, a little to low for every one to hear.
... the silence drag's on.
"SO! IS THIS DUEL STILL ON OR SHOULD I JUST GO HOME?!"
I wince... whoops maybe I was just a bit too loud that time.
What? I'm nervous, Its not easy to talk with a few hundred people staring at you.
My challenger coughs to get my attention and says, "Yes, absolutely you fool, how dare you keep me waiting?! ME! A TOP GRADUATE OF DUEL ACADEMY?!"
I sigh, Oh great... Its one of those kids. I freaking hate those kids, the only people they got respect for is Yugi and Seto Freaking Kaiba. Pffft~ As if going to some fancy school is going to make you a better duelist. But man am I lucky, as much as I hate their attitude, I'm really glad it was one of them today. They always feel like they got something to prove.
"Ok kid, lets get this duel started then." I reply, walking up to the podium shuffling my deck.
That little bastard says some snarky remark he thought I couldn't hear about low breeding while angerly shuffling his own deck. I would be pissed, I am a little irritated... but I did make him wait for like thirty minutes so Ill forgive the little shit and get this over with quickly.
After about fifteen minutes of dicking around I kicked his ass. Actually It was bit too close for comfort, I only had two-hundred life points left. These kids now a days really like their special summons... pain in the ass.
After the duel we say our... 'good byes' and that's it folks. Well not really, I got like a few thousand in prize money along with keeping my current rank of third best duelist... I know what your thinking... But no, I aint going to raise it anytime soon. After about a hundred million rejections from the asshole in rank two, I just about gave up trying to duel the fuck. Don't matter anyway, I'm pretty satisfied with where I'm at for now. NOT, that I wouldn't duel him If I ever got the chance. Well, I'm not complaining... he is probably just scared anyway, scared of the brilliant Wheeler.
You know what I just realized? I'm really hungry. I think Ill check the lobby for one of those sandwich machines, my belly is begging for some food, damn... only candy machines. SNEAKERS IT IS! I think Ill need about... ten. No, don't worry... I actually do need it, I'm still a growing boy, us men don't stop growing till around 40.
...No that's not bullshit.
So I stuff myself with it, chocolate running down my chin... mnnn classy.
My mouth comes to a halt when something lightly tugs the end of my shirt. I turn and look, Yugi? Oh boy he looks disappointed. He's got that face like he just watched me kick a puppy into the swears. I swallowed hard and wiped my chin with my sleeve, "Hey Yug'..."
"Joey?"
"Yea buddy?..."
He sighed, boy... his disapproval makes me feel a little ashamed. I decide to turn on the Wheeler charm and bring out the biggest smile my face is capable of... a kid started screaming. Jeez, Kids now a days don't recognize a great set of pearly whites when they see it. What the hell... is Yugi laughing at me? That lil'... Knuckle sandwiches, I will give him one courtesy of your best friend Joey Wheeler.
I felt him struggle a bit under my grip, my fist quickly nuzzling the crap out of his over the top hair. YES! SUFFER MY FRIEND!
"Come on Joey, quit it! I'm a grown man!"
I cant help but to smirk at that, I mean come on... he still looks like grade schooler. Hard to believe we are both a bit over twenty. Well... maybe I at least look my age... with my rugged manly good looks.
I let him squirm out of my arms, boy he is breathing heavy. He must have really wanted out of there.
"Joey..."
...He looked like he really had something to say. Come on, spill it out.
"Joey... you.."
"What is it Yug'?"
Man he really looks worried. Putting a hand on his shoulder I tell him its ok to tell me whatever it is.
"Your armpits... they smell so bad."
And then the glass shatters. That lil'... I lift up my arm and sniffed... actually, never-mind. I grabbed some more of my man spray from my man bag and sprayed the shit out of them. There, problem fixed.
Whats he doing here anyway?
"Joey, there's this thing... didn't you get the message on your answer machine?"
"What message?"
Thinking back... there was a flashing light on the machine when I got home last night, I ignored it.
"The message about Kaiba's school, you know the one about training the top students."
And the glass shatters. Fuck that.
"No thanks Yug', that aint my style dude."
"Oh come on Joey, I don't want to go alone with Kaiba."
Bam. What?
"Kaiba's going? What the hell?"
"Well it is his school, so yea he wanted to reward the top three students by giveing them some special training with the worlds top three."
"No, I mean, fuck that. I want to go even less now."
"Oh come on Joey. It would be fun, you don't got anything to do anyway."
"OH YEA I DO. I can go party with Tristan or something."
And then he brought it on. That face. That face that makes you feel like you just murdered kittens by stuffing them in a bag and tossing them in the river.
"Please Joey..."
... oh god the guilt.
" Maaaan... fiiiine."
I think he would have hugged me, but he seemed really reluctant after sniffing the air around me. Well this is just great.
"... So when do I got to go anyway?" I ask, like a man sentenced to death.
"Its today actually, the flight leaves in an hour so lets move."
Well, aint this the best day of my life.
AND OFF WE WENT. Me and Yugi took the plane to Duel Academy, and landed. Boy would you look at my enthusiasm. You know what, I haven seen Kaiba at all. NOT... that I'm complaining.
Yugi and I walked across the campus, it was gay. I mean really, why the hell is it all the way out on a private island? Isolation makes Joey a very unhappy boy. Stupid island. Mosquito's biting the shit out of me. You wana know something nice though, all the kids parting out of our way... respect. YES.
Anyway, we finally got to this building. I wonder what lucky kid is going to train under me. And then Kaiba walked out of the elevator to greet us.
"So you made it Yugi, When this is all over we are going to settle it once in for all. I will be the true king of games."
Yea, whatever Kaiba. You have been saying that for ten years now. Old habits die hard I guess.
"And you brought your pet dog. Make sure its house trained."
... I hate this fucker.
"Whatever Kaiba, shows what you know, I've been peeing in the toilet since the age of three."
He gave me this look like he was looking at something really retarded. Well fuck you too Kaiba. Actually, I think he got his stupid jacket caught in the elevator door. Kinda hard to look like a bad ass when you cant move from where your standing.
So I grab my balls and get in his face. "I see you brought that stick you shove in your ass on a daily biases. Nice to see it in so far and deep."
"Say something like that again Wheeler I dare you."
So I did.
And BAM!~ Huh... he was willing to rip the back of his jacket to punch me in the face with all the might he could muster. Its nice to know he hit my good eye. Oh well, now he gets to walk around the school with a huge gash in his jacket, and the black eye I'm about to gift him to complement it.
So he dodged my fist, whats new. Stupid mixed Marshall arts mother fucker, then some really... flamboyant man with three kids behind him interrupts our little... man to man chat with some horrible sounds coming from the front of his face near the mouth part.
"Helloooo , My name Is Professor Crowler. I cant tell you how much it thrills me to see you participate in our little program. Thank you so much. I'm sure our top student from obelisk blue will be more then happy to be raised under your guidance ."
His voice... it grates so painfully...
You know that saying... the one where your pretty sure he plays for the other team, well I cant think of it but it apply's to this guy that's for sure. Anyway Kaiba gives him this look, impatient would be the best description.
"What are you talking about, According to the message from the principal, I'm to teach a Mr. Jaden Yuki from Slifer."
Crowler gets this look on his face like he smelt something really bad and says, "Well... If you want that second rate student... then he is all yours, by all means you know the kid needs it, I just thought you wouldn't want to waste your time with that slacker."
Kaiba ignores him and turns to the students, "So which one of you kids is Jaden Yuki?"
Some scrawny, brown haired, hyperactive looking little shit jumps up and... salutes Kaiba? He shouts "RIGHT HERE SIR!"... god my ears.
Kaiba takes a deep breath, seeming to brace him self for the worst, then walks away. Huh. I guess he's leaving.
Pussy.
After a moment of awkward silence...that Jaden kid shrug's and laughs, "So Mr. Crowler, dose that mean I can get to learn from Yugi Muto with Zane now? Because that would be totally killer."
...The Crowler gets this look like hes having an aneurysm and nearly blows his top off. He takes a deep breath and as walks out of the hall he shouts to us,"Princeton! YOUR WITH MR. WHEELER! YUKI! YOU GO BACK YOUR DORM!" Oh boy did the kid whine after that. Yugi was cool with it though, so he kinda told the kid he would teach them both, it wasn't an issue. Well whatever... I guess I'm just chopped liver. So I'm thinking the blue haired kid is Zane right? Trying to look all mature, you can tell the lil' bastard is about to squeal with excitement though... well not really, Its more of just a feeling you know. Anyway if those two are with Yugi, then I must be getting... lets see, oh that black haired one. Boy, would you look at that glare. Guess he isn't happy with our little arrangement. Well, join the club brat.
"So... ahhhmmm little trooper? You want to learn like to duel like a real man or what?"...
If looks could kill... well I guess he doesn't like to be treated like a kid. Sorry dude, until your through with puberty, you're a damn kid. Pre-teen is equal to ankle biter in my book.
He flashes me this evil freaking smirk and says,"As if you could teach me anything you third rate piece of trash." he leans forward and sniffs me a bit then backs away really far, cringing, "By the way, that cheap cologne isn't hiding your rancid smell. You should really take shower you nasty fuck."
...You know what? I already hate this kid.
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THINGS TO KNOW:
1)Ok so I wrote this with no real thought, I also didnt proof read. Ive never been very good at the writing , besides that... I havent actually watched yugioh gx, and don't plan to.
2)OH SOMETHING SUPER COOL! I actually have a premise for this one, so the chances of completion is pretty freaking high this time... maybe. Its a shitty one though... I was never very good at first person perspective. Im to lazy to change it to third person though, so yea. If you like it you like it, I you hate it then great. Write it yourself. Ill read that shit.
3) I really feel like this is the same song and dance I had from Contrasting Colors... What can I say? Im not very creative or original. Whoops. Maybe Ill get lazy and just make this a spiritual sequel to it so I can hit two birds with one stone? I mean, I never finished that shit... and I really wanted too. Maybe I should have just done this in the third person with an all CAPS ten years later and stuffed it in contrasting colors... meh, I always try to connect all my stories if I can.
4) KAIBAXJOEY SHIT BABY! Yaoi is life baby, so get used to it. Anyway, I always imagined Joey being really nasty. I dont know why... I also dont think his asshole tastes like cinnamon... when did assholes naturally taste like cinnamon anyway? Fucking gross. Also man, I think writing this to George Micheal's Flawless was a big mistake. OH WELL.