Shiro knew what was coming for them, and yet he held on tight.
What more could he do then shove his face in Matt's (too skinny, too thin) collarbone and let silent tears fall, adding another stain to the dirty jumpsuit.
Matt wrapped his bony arms around Shiro's waist and Shiro almost felt safe and secure in his tight grip, despite knowing their fate from the mind-reading alien in the next cell over.
His heart raced, and his breathing quickened.
They were being transferred to the Arena.
When they were first captured by the galra, Shiro would sleep on top of Matt. He had a idea that they'll be a less likely chance of Matt getting taken away if the galra couldn't see him, and that Matt would be warmer. The jumpsuits were thin and the air was so cold you could see your breath some days.
Shiro picked Matt up, setting his feet on the ground, and put a hand on his waist. Matt looked up at Shiro in confusion, wet tear tracks making streaks on his cheek.
Once, when they were teenagers, they cut Keith's hair. It was in a time when Shiro's dad was pinching pennies and supposedly couldn't afford a few inches being trimmed off of Keith's wild, knotted hair.
"Will you dance with me, Mattie?" Shiro murmured, holding back tears. This will be the last time they were ever going to see each other like this, the seconds ticking down on their lifespan. "One last time."
The first time they danced was at a homecoming in high school, maybe their junior year. It was supposed to be a joke, a dance of friends, but they both knew it had something more.
Matt nodded, and placed a hand on Shiro's thick shoulder. Their hands intertwined, both so used to the other that it was clockwork.
They kissed in their Garrison dorm the first time, Matt had one shoe on and Shiro was balancing several papers and books so he couldn't hold Matt's waist close to him or run his fingers through his hair, but he didn't mind, didn't mind having those soft lips press against his own, those soft little noises rumbling from his throat. They never used Matt's bed after that, preferring to sleep in each other's protective arms, and they slept better knowing the other was there.
And they danced in the small cell, with their grimy faces shining at each other for the last time, both of them knowing it will be the last thing they'll do together, that no one survives in the Arena, that it wasn't nicknamed "The Killing Room" by the other prisoners for a reason.
Their first date was small, a movie came out, Shiro doesn't remember which one because he was distracted by Matt's head resting on his shoulders, their hands intertwined.
"We don't have music, Kashi," Matt whispered.
"Then I'll sing for you, my love." Shiro whispered back.
"You are my sunshine,"
Matt and him, hand in hand, walking down the garrison hallways for the first time, people staring at the new couple and a few giving congratulation pats.
"My only sunshine."
Cuddling on Saturday mornings in their dorm room, both still half asleep, stealing small kisses from the other.
"You make me happy,"
Snowball fighting with Keith and Katie, Matt's face flushed red from the cold. He snuck up behind Shiro, and Shiro pretended not to notice him (How could he not notice him?), and laughed as Matt launched a huge snowball into his back.
"When skies are grey."
Matt, slumped over his laptop fast asleep. Shiro lifting him from the desk and Matt softly protesting, but was silenced as Shiro kissed his forehead gently.
"You'll never know dear,"
Eating together in the cafeteria, shoulders touching-
"How much I love you." Shiro's voice cracked, and now they were sobbing, fearing for the other's lives.
Filling out the forms for the Kerberos mission, promising to go together, promising great things for their future.
"Please don't take my sunshine away," Shiro whispered, holding Matt close and breathing in his smell one last time.
When the guards came, they separated the couple. Shiro fought the handcuffs keeping him in line, trying to reach Matt, and protect him, he could protect him, he could do anything with his Mattie by his side!
You are my sunshine
The Arena was full of different species of aliens, some even the same as the other prisoners.
You are my sunshine
He had a fleeting idea, something he couldn't quite pull out of his head, he had to act now, he had to do something to save Matt Holt-
You are my sunshine
A grab of a sword, a sloppy slice, and Matt's blood staining his hands-
my sunshine
He was pulled off of Matt, pulled off of his love, pulled off of his sunshine-
my sunshine
Thrown into that pit where monsters towered over him-
my sunshine
The blood never washed out of Shiro's hands.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Matt, leg bandaged with a strip of cloth from his shirt was shoved into a pod with other weak prisoners, sent to a work camp where his father was.
His hands couldn't stop shaking. He didn't think they would ever stop.
(He never wanted his hands to stop shaking, never wanted his heart to stop pounding in his ears, never wanted the adrenaline pumping through his veins to delimish)
His dad was in the same pod, and right now he was asleep, slumped over on Matt's bony shoulder. When in prison, you sleep when you can.
There was nothing to stop Matt from from pulling his knees to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut and imagine Kashi's warm hands around his waist again.
He couldn't get that fearful look out of Kashi's eyes, couldn't stop thinking about Kashi's sacrifice for him.
He killed himself for me. No one lasts long in the Arena.
Kashi was dead, that fight couldn't have lasted long, he was dead and Matt was here, he won't be Matt's saving grace again.
He tried not to cry, because crying ment dehydration, and he hasn't had a drop of water for a few hours.
(He cried anyway. It's hard to stop a human body from functioning, and that's what he told himself as the tears dripped off his cheeks.)
No more feeling safe and protected as Kashi laid his body over Matt, hiding Matt from view and enveloping him in warmth.
(that was something Kashi simply adored about Matt. He was small enough to be cuddled with, small enough to fit perfectly in the curve of Kashi's body, as if their heights were made for each other)
Kashi wasn't going to burst through the prison walls with guns blazing and sweep Matt off his feet. Kashi wasn't going to kiss him softly on the forehead after a nightmare. Kashi wasn't going to protect Matt and his father anymore.
So he was going to have to protect himself.
(That scared him more than anything, because when you were a prisoner and stood up against the rules you got beaten to a pulp)
(But it would be what Kashi wanted him to do.)
Fly below the radar, be a good inmate, and learn to fight for himself.
He cast a glance at his sleeping father, whose back aches from sleeping on cold stone floors and knees locked up at the end of the day.
He'll fight for his father. He'll fight for his dead boyfriend. He'll fight for his family, light years away.
The wound on his knee throbbed.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," he whispered to himself as the pod sped away from their old prison, the hard cold floors, and towards a labor camp on a distant green planet.
"My only sunshine."
(please, to any god or being that may be out there, don't take my sunshine away.)
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