Title: Overheard on the Open Road

Rating: Rated T for some later chapters. Pertinent warnings will be placed on each chapter.

Summary: Skits and shorts about Luke and the gang as they journey to save Auldrant. Ridiculously Jade-centric because Seijax has a Dist-like obsession with deadpan snarkers. Mostly humor, very few spoilers.

Disclaimer: Tales of the Abyss and all associated properties belong to Namco.

Bad Hair Day

Setting: early in the game, after Guy joins but before you catch up with Anise

Spoilers: First encounter with Largo on the Tartarus, though nothing for the main storyline

Luke grumbled a little under his breath as he wrapped the straps around the sleeping mat for what had to be the eighteenth time.

"It's not that bad," Guy laughed, crouching down next to him to hold the bundle steady. "Didn't we always talk about going camping as soon as you were old enough to leave the mansion?"

"Yeah, well, it was a lot more fun talking about it than actually doing it," Luke complained. "A bed at the inn would have been a lot softer than the ground."

"But we would have had to backtrack," Guy said, adjusting one of Luke's straps so it lay more securely. "Come on, let's just enjoy the morning."

A soft cry of dismay caught both boys' attention. Tear was standing up, holding a small piece of wood in each hand, a slight frown on her face.

"What's wrong now?" Luke asked, folding his arms.

"Oh, it's nothing important. My travel comb broke...and my hair's a mess from sleeping on the ground. I don't suppose I could borrow yours, Luke?"

"Me? I don't have a comb," Luke rested his hands against his hips. "I didn't exactly pack for this little trip. Ask Guy."

"Sorry," Guy smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, ready to jump behind Luke if Tear so much as made a step in his direction. "I didn't exactly bring my valet kit with me. I thought Luke might need a bodyguard, not a butler."

Tear sighed and tucked the two pieces of wood into her small pack. "I guess it can't be helped."

"Why don't you just use mine?" Jade, who had been checking the area map for the last few minutes, passed Tear a small silver-backed brush. "I promise it doesn't bite," the colonel added.

"Huh," Luke stared at the brush as Tear started working at the knots in her hair. "I didn't figure you'd have a hairbrush, Jade."

"Well, I am a colonel," Jade replied. "My position requires a certain neatness of appearance."

"What? No, that's not what I meant," Luke grimaced and folded his arms. "I just figured you'd have some kind of fonic arte or something that you'd use on your hair."

"My, my," the colonel shrugged. "That's quite impossible, Luke."

"I know. Fonic artes aren't supposed to be used like that."

"Oh, that's not it at all," Jade smirked, taking the brush back from Tear and stowing it away in some hidden uniform pocket. "It's just that an arte of that level requires very fine control of the third fonon, and I'm afraid that since Largo sealed my fon slots I'm not quite back up to that level. If you're all ready, we should keep moving."

Tear followed the colonel without a word, but Guy grabbed onto Luke's arm before they got moving again. "So, wait," Guy said, "is he saying he normally uses a fonic arte to brush his hair?"

AN: ... What? It was either this or Phoenix Wright, I had to do something.