Author's Note: This is my first Gladiator Fanfic. I recently watched Gladiator in my history class at school and I found Commodus so unbelievably interesting. Joaquin Phoenix was amazing in that role. So here is what I wrote to fill in the gaps between when Commodus gave his 'Merciful' speech and when he fought Maximus, exploring POV of Lucius, Commodus himself, and Lucilla. Reviews and any criticisms would be appreciated. Thanks ahead of time.
"I wish to see my mother, Uncle." Lucius crossed his arms across his chest defiantly as he waited for his uncle Commodus to turn away from the balcony that he was facing. The young boy's small, innocent voice echoed on the stone walls, but Commodus did not turn to face his nephew. Lucius stared hard at his uncle's back. He didn't want to continue being ignored, but then again, he was not sure that he wanted to hear his angry uncle's response.
Lucius looked to the guards that stood to his left and to his right behind him. In all of his life in the palace, he had never had as many guards following him or seen as many watching over his uncle. More had been called on to watch him and his mother as well as his uncle. The young boy slicked his tongue out to moisten his dry lips. He knew that his mother sat in a room with far more guards watching her just a few feet away.
A nervous ache formed in Lucius's stomach the longer he stared at his uncle's back. Lucius was afraid that his uncle would snap like he had the night before. Commodus had not necessarily threatened him, but he had threatened Lucilla, and the entire incident had unnerved poor Lucius. He had never seen his uncle grit his teeth, yell or clasp onto his mother's arm as tightly as he had the night before. No, his mother was always the voice of reason. She kept Commodus calm, and Lucius knew that his uncle relied on her to comfort him when he was upset. Lucius did not think that his mother would be able to fix this, though.
Commodus finally turned away from the balcony and met his nephew's eyes. Lucius sank back a little, immediately losing all of the courage that he had built up. The young boy dropped his arms away from his chest and hung them back innocently to his own sides. Commodus's lips were pressed together tightly and his eyes were red as if perhaps he had shed a few tears. Dark shadows had formed beneath his eyes. Lucius felt as if his own eyes were heavy. After being locked inside his own room, alone for the night, he had not gotten any sleep. He assumed that his uncle had not either. Lucius knew his uncle was angry at him, at his mother, and at Maximus, but he didn't fully understand. His mother had told him that the secrets they were planning were to preserve their lives and the future of Rome. That was why she snuck out late at night to visit Maximus and why she whispered to Senator Gracchus. She told him that what they were doing was not to be mentioned to his uncle Commodus yet, and she made him promise. She had entrusted him, and he got her into trouble. Dread swelled inside of Lucius's stomach at the thought.
"If you will stop pestering me then I may allow you to see her later!" Commodus suddenly snapped at the boy coldly, hissing the words out through clenched teeth. He lunged forward, leaning down a little to match the boy's level, and Lucius's entire body went rigid with fear. Lucius thought that Commodus was going to raise his hand at him, something that he had never done before, but he did not. Lucius flinched away anyway. He closed his eyes for a second or two before opening them again.
"But why can't I see her now?" Lucius asked fearfully. The words slipped from his mouth so childlike and quickly that even he could not stop them. A moment later, he wanted to take them back. He stared back at his uncle and his emperor, the man he had admired as if he had been his own father. Commodus glared back at him, unmoving, just seemingly studying the boy.
"I just wanted to see if she was okay," Lucius added quietly.
He looked to the floor. He hadn't seen his mother since she had been whisked away from him the night before, after he'd sat beside Commodus and listened as he told him stories—strange stories that held threatening tones. His uncle had made his mother cry, and then she had been taken from him. Lucius was frightened of him now.
Lucius knew that it was his own fault. He had told his uncle what his mother had told him in confidence. As soon as the words, Maximus the savior of Rome, had spilled from his lips, Commodus had stiffened and Lucius realized his mistake. It was the secret he was not to speak of.
"I'm sorry for telling you what I told you, uncle," Lucius whimpered to his uncle.
Commodus's face was only inches from Lucius's, so his uncle's next movement was a quick and easy one. His uncle's hand grasped his chin gruffly, tilting his chin so that he was staring directly back into his uncle's angry eyes.
"You're sorry for telling me? You should have told me sooner you dumb boy! At this rate you will never make an emperor!"
Lucius closed his mouth upon realizing that it had dropped open at his uncle's words. He was shocked at his uncle's harsh words, and he could not hide it.
"I…I…I'm sorry uncle. Please do not be angry with me."
Commodus's eyes softened just a little. He loosened his tight grip on the boy's chin, but he did not release him.
"Your mother will have to pay for what she has done, but you…I hope that you have already realized the mistake you have made, Lucius" he warned.
Lucius nodded quickly and Commodus released the hold he had on his nephew's chin.
"You nearly helped have me killed," Commodus clenched his jaws at his own words. He crossed his arms across his own chest.
"I..I..I did not know, uncle," Lucius stammered.
Commodus turned from Lucius and began pacing. He lowered his hands to hang by his sides and then crossed them back across his chest. He bit at his lip and then reached up to rub at his chin absentmindedly.
Lucius swallowed hard. "What are you doing sir?"
He did not want to stand idly by any longer. His uncle had summoned him from his room but was now ignoring him, and Lucius did not want to be around him.
"I'm trying to decide what I shall do, Lucius…What punishment I shall choose…or if I shall!" Commodus exploded again.
"Punishment for who?" the boy squeaked. "For Maximus? Mother?"
"Do not even speak his name, Lucius," Commodus growled. He stopped pacing immediately and faced his nephew again.
After a few moments of silence in which Lucius tried to avoid his uncle's distressed and pained eyes, Commodus motioned to a guard.
"I think it is time that I spoke with my sister," he announced.
Commodus turned without another word or glance at Lucius. All the boy could do was watch as his uncle disappeared into the room that his mother was in with the guards trailing behind his swishing cape. The guards immediately closed the door back behind them, and Lucius took a few slow steps back until he was leaning his back against the stone balcony ledge. One guard remained on the outside of the door to watch him. Lucius breathed in nervously. His stomach fluttered like the moths that flew into the torch flames when the sun began to set. They flew into their death unknowingly. Lucius rubbed at his chin where his uncle had grabbed him. He had never laid a hand on him before- not like that.
Lucius waited and waited, staring at the door as he listened to the muffled voice of his uncle. He tried to piece together parts of what he was saying, but he only caught a word every now and then. The guard that stood in front of the door stared back at him, unmoving and seemingly unaffected by the conversation going on inside. Lucius tried to avoid the man's emotionless eyes. He did not much like the guards. They were always so cold when they carried out the orders they were given. Lucius shuddered at a sudden thought. The guards could come for his mother and him at any moment. If his uncle ordered them to be thrown from the palace…or worse…killed, it would happen. They would kill them with the same, cold, uncaring expressions on their faces.
Lucius was beginning to think of walking back to his room when he heard a loud bellow from inside the room.
"Am I not merciful?!"
Lucius jumped at his uncle's roar from inside the room. He instinctively belted toward the door, but the guard reached forward and grabbed him by his outstretched arms.
"No!" Lucius yelled. "Let me inside, please!" he struggled against the guard, but the guard was strong.
"Stand back," the guard ordered with a voice that was strangely calm.
He held him until Lucius pulled back toward the balcony and away from the door. The guard allowed Lucius to wrench himself away in that direction. He stumbled backwards though, and fell backwards onto his backside. He leapt back to his feet immediately, trying to show no weakness, but the guard did not react to his embarrassing fall. Lucius swallowed the large lump that had found itself in his throat. Tears burned his eyes, and he angrily reached up to wipe his eyes hard. He wanted to see his mother. He had never been treated so by his uncle or the guards.
Lucius froze in his place as muffled voices continued on the other side of the door, a little louder as if they were moving closer to the exit. He was still standing there moments later when the door opened and Lucilla was led out by a few guards with Commodus trailing behind her.
"Mother!" Lucius ran past the guards, arms outstretched to her.
Fresh tears rested on Lucilla's cheeks, and upon seeing Lucius, she reached up embarrassedly to wipe them away.
"Lucius," she half whispered his name.
Lucius wrapped his arms around her waist, and was surprised when she did not return his affections. He stepped back to look at her, examining her for injury, and she stepped away from him, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Mother what is wrong?" Lucius questioned her curiously.
His mother wrenched her eyes up to Commodus who had stopped a few steps away from the both of them. Lucilla opened her mouth as if she wanted to speak, but she did not. Instead, she swallowed hard. Lucius watched the motion travel down the pale skin of her neck. He raised his eyes to follow her gaze all the way to his uncle's face.
Commodus's face looked even redder than before. He was breathing heavily, and his jaws were clenched. He was glaring back at his sister, but he finally gave her a curt nod, barely noticeable had Lucius not have been studying him closely.
It wasn't until the signal from Commodus that Lucius felt his mother clasp onto his shoulders with both of her hands. She pulled his back to rest against her front protectively.
"You have my permission to escort Lucius to his room at this moment, sister," Commodus announced coldly.
"What do you say?" He then questioned. He motioned to them, but Lucius could tell by his uncle's line of sight that he was only motioning for his mother.
"Thank you, Commodus," his mother said quickly.
"Just remember what we spoke of," he said as he stepped forward. He motioned for Lucilla to lean in closer.
Lucius felt his mother's body stiffen against him. Her hold on Lucius's shoulder became tight, so tight that Lucius felt bruised, but he did not move. His uncle moved directly in front of him and then he leaned in toward Lucilla. Lucius heard his mother's sharp intake of breath and heard the words that his uncle whispered into his mother's ear.
"You may have a few moments with him alone. After that, you will not even look at him without my approval. Do not forget that you are always being watched. There are no more secrets here."
Lucius's mouth opened slightly. He wanted to speak, but he knew better. He snuck a glance up at his uncle just as he pulled away from the two of them and stepped back. Commodus crossed his arms behind his back and clasped his hands together.
"Lucius, come," his mother took him by the hand, something she had not done in a long time, and he allowed her to pull him away gently.
She wasted no time in leading him back to his room. Three guards trailed behind them, but they stopped at the curtain that partitioned Lucius's room from the hall.
Lucilla led Lucius to his bed and she sat on the edge. He hurriedly sat beside her.
"Lucius, I love you so much, darling," his mother said quickly.
She released his hand from her clammy one and reached back up to wipe her face. Lucius did not speak. He stared back at his mother's flushed face with a childlike curiosity. Her eyes were still watery from the silent tears that had spilled from them. It was then that he realized he had never heard her cry. He had hardly seen her do so. Her tears were always silent and controlled, as she usually was.
"I'm sorry mother," Lucius murmured.
"Do not worry, Lucius," she said quickly.
"I've gotten us into terrible trouble haven't I? I would not blame you if you did not love me anymore."
"Lucius," Lucilla reached down to grasp his chin to tilt his gaze to hers. It was much different than the way that his uncle had done earlier. Her grasp was tender.
"I love you," she said. "And because I love you…that, Lucius, is why you are going to be spending a lot of time with your uncle…and when you do, you are not going to be able to see me as often."
"What?" Lucius demanded loudly. "Why mother?"
"Shhh," Lucilla released his chin. She reached over and smoothed his hair. "Come here. Lay your head down. You musn't question it."
Lucius reluctantly leaned over and laid his head in his mother's lap. She began running her fingers through his hair, gently, soothing him into focusing on her slender fingers running soft circles, and twirling a few strands between her fingers. He closed his eyes, but did not sleep.