I was sprawled on top of him with just his thin blanket covering the two of us. His hands were resting on my back as always, as I count the number of his breathing before I walk towards his door, before I leave. Just like the same thing I do every single night that this thing happens.

I honestly can't remember how all this thing started. He was never my greatest company from before and was never my favorite person in this world, and also, I swear that he hated me more than anything else since the first time he laid his eyes on me. But one night, we just found ourselves going all down with each other, hence leading into another one of this situation. Always this situation.

I tried to move a little, he made a grunt sound but kept his eyes shut. Such a heavy sleeper, Natsume Hyuuga.

And then the crazy mumblings I had been thinking since last night came upon me as I whispered in his sleep "I heard you and Ruka yesterday, talking." The memory of the event, flowing clearly on my mind.

"He asked you, were does our relationship stand?" I took a pause and continued "but you didn't exactly reply."

I rolled to my side of his bed and used his arms as my pillow and whispered "and I can't even argue about your silence back then" I traced my finger on his chest "how would I explain to them what we are when even the two of us haven't really figured it out, it's like describing how a color looks like to a blind person."

"But then, we can't continue doing this" and I took grab of his hand and kissed his fingers, "no matter how good we are in bed, we can't continue this."

"I am still in great debt to your family, I can't do this further." And a tear fell down my face "especially to your mom. I never do anything that would betray your mom's trust. I owe her so much" And I muffled a sob.

"and it's like every time I woke up in your bed, every time you wrap me in your blankets, I would see your mom's happy face as she held me back then from the moment I lost my dad" and I tried to wipe my tears but it still kept falling. "Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if it wasn't your family that took care of me, then maybe, we could work this out, and that maybe, we could be together."

"I love you." I whispered to him, "I love you so much, that some nights I wish I never lost my family, that I was never sent to yours to beg for care, and that the first time you had seen me would like to be an ideal meet up. That I would impress you with the sweet things that could come up with my lips, and that you would want to call me, and we could have dated the same way every one does." I touched his lips with my fingertips and continued "for one day, cant we just be Mikan and Natsume? No family attachments, no-"and I broke down.

"I watched you as you speak in the board room you know, I paid a visit last week" I give him a smile as if he can see me "your dad was so proud, that even though you tend to bicker with him, still he supports you without most sincerity. You're just too stubborn to admit something as personal as that."

"The way everyone pays attention to you, the way they would recognize the ideas you contribute, Natsume, you've got a very bright future in front of you. And I would not dare hold you back something you clearly deserve. I do not deserve someone as special as you are."

He shuffled. And I froze.

I sneaked a glance on his direction, as I was convinced he was still asleep, I continued "I saw that article saying you were dating Luna, everyone was talking about that, but I never had the courage to ask you if it was true. But I guess it was real since she came unto me last Monday at the classroom. I was teaching the children to make origami when she barged in. she told me to keep away from you." More tears fell down "but what can I do? It's not like I am the perfect match for you or something. I am the kind of girl that doesn't fit in the description of someone for your kind; I'm too mediocre, nothing special kind of girl, someone you can't brag around the people surrounding you. "

"I am just a girl who is in great debt to you and your family, who teaches kindergarten student with a very bleak future ahead and you are Natsume Hyuuga, the bright, intelligent and sophisticated man every girl is pinning for." And I wrap my arms around him "and it would be a nuisance if anyone would find out that I had been warming your bed for quite a time now, this has to stop. I'm so sorry I had led things into this."

A few minutes of silence has passed, and I pulled myself away from him, I kissed his forehead and said "sweet dreams, Natsume." but before I could completely let him go, a pair of arm wraps around me and pulled me into him as he kissed my collarbone and said,

"Stay."

I would never own GA, and I am sorry for all the typos and grammatical errors present in this story, oh and if a review would not hurt, please drop one. I would like to read one from you.