Hi there x) Another idea was on my mind these days so let's give it a shot, especially after this week's episode. A jealous Ruzek for your entertainment *-* And some happiness because we deserve it x)
Oh how wrong can you be?
Oh to fall in love was my very first mistake
How was I to know I was far too much in love to see?
Oh jealousy look at me now
Jealousy you got me somehow
You gave me no warning
Took me by surprise
Jealousy you led me on
You couldn't lose you couldn't fail
You had suspicion on my trail
How how how all my jealousy
I wasn't man enough to let you hurt my pride
Now I'm only left with my own jealousy
QUEEN - Jealousy
"Who is this guy?" He already asked that question three times in the past hour but he couldn't let this thing go. Adam finished writing this stupid report while Olinsky looked at him with a grinning smile, patting on his shoulder before going upstairs. Adam didn't even blink or notice his partner was gone since he was staring at this new patrol guy.
"Seriously though, what's his name? Does anybody here even know his freaking name?" He signed the document and looked up again to see Sergeant Platt chewing her pencil, smiling awkwardly at him. Well, that was scary and Adam stopped talking for a while, realizing he was not far from being called a name he surely wouldn't like.
"Wow. Look who joined us today. Drama queen herself. Enjoy your ride in jealous city, Jim Stark. Have you finished this? Some people have actually work to do here." Platt put her glasses on while stealing the piece of paper from his hand, apparently trying to hide how much she enjoyed the show.
"I'm sorry, what..." He rose his finger at her and when he saw her look, the only decent thing he could do to stay alive and in one piece was to give up the fight. "Well, never mind. Have a good day... Trudy." Adam gave her a wink, smiling with proud, before heading to the locker room, still disturbed.
What was that earlier? Who was his guy? Why was he so cosy towards Burgess every time he was around? And most of all, what was going on when he wasn't around? All his thoughts were killing him, slowly but surely. It seemed he was losing his mind these past few days. He could blame his break up with Wendy for it, he could also blame the hell of a mess he had to deal with constantly upstairs. However, he only blamed himself. First time ever. Everything was shit. That was it. And somehow, Adam knew it was all his fault. Usually, he don't think at all, he just acts and see afterwards, obviously, he never regrets anything. That was not how he was feeling now, he let Wendy go, he let the team get hurt... He let Kim Burgess go. That struck him when he was alone. He failed and now, he was running out of time.
Ruzek tried to get dressed for an undercover mission with Olinsky but he just watched his locker with an odd look. He was out of it and if Alvin saw it that way, he was going to kick his ass without further notice. Then, he heard voices at the door and Adam finished dressing up, listening to the conversation knowing he shouldn't be doing that in the first place.
"Do you remember that time you thought you screwed up the shooting class at the academy? We had a blast afterwards, I never saw you this glowing and fun. Drunk Kim is the best Kim, for sure!" Adam froze, got his hand stuck in the zip of his coat and couldn't help but swear a bit while pricking up his ears. Kim, really? Drunk Kim? Who the fuck is that guy? He was clearly flirting with her and Adam was relieved he couldn't see the look on the face of the guy while he was talking or else he would lose it, properly lose it.
"I'm not so bad sober, either. Did you see that move when we were on traffic duty? Sorry, Connelly but I've improved a lot on the field. I'm not the Kim I used to be at the academy. That job changes you for sure." Adam was clearly gritting his teeth when he heard that. He was the one who saw her move first. How could that happen?
"We'll see that... Anyway, you'll always be better than me on traffic duty for sure and clearly, I'm never gonna beat you in the Platt area either. She can't stand you... By the way, what are we doing next?" Adam couldn't stand it anymore. He shut his locker quite aggressively before showing his face by the door, trying to relax the muscles in his hands that just wanted to destroy that Connelly's face for no apparent reasons. He didn't know who he hated the most right now: the new guy or Atwater for making his way upstairs and dissuade him from going after Burgess.
"Hey, Burgess! I haven't seen you in a while. How are you? And your niece? I wanted to call you but you know..." Ruzek positioned himself between Kim and her new partner, ignoring the guy on purpose and smiling to her. She seemed surprised to see him there but Adam tried to keep going nonetheless.
"Actually, I don't know... But at least let me introduce you to my new partner, Jamie. Connelly... Ruzek." Adam had no choice but turning to that Jamie Connelly guy and shaking his hand, firmly and not so gently. They looked in each other's eyes and Ruzek was certain they both understood what was going on there. They played a dangerous game right in front of Kim's eyes but Adam was not reserved anymore. He hadn't his relationship with his fiancé to keep his feet on the ground. He had no excuse to keep his path away from hers. Kim.
"Nice to meet you, Connelly. Try not to get your ass kicked too soon. She's tough and brilliant that one, right Burgess?" He had clearly no idea what he was doing but he let go of Jamie's hand with satisfaction. He was not nice, his tone was not encouraging at all and everyone saw it apparently...
"Well... I'll try. Kim, I'm gonna check with Platt for our next assignment. See you, Ruzek." Adam didn't like his little smile and he crossed his arms while watching Connelly heading to Platt, imagining everything she could tell him to make his life miserable. He hoped the sergeant crushed him so bad he just walked away and never came back to work. He wished for so many things but he knew nothing was going to happen.
"Ruzek, we're going, now." Olinsky was already at the front door, eating his donut patiently.
"See you, Adam." Kim left him quickly and was already smiling at the new guy while leaving the station... Without turning around.
The entire day was hell. Adam was mad, mad at everything, mad at everyone. He almost ruined the mission by acting recklessly, nothing new here if you thought about it but he was only inches away to beat the shit out of the suspect when he got him. Ruzek was not surprised then when Voight called him in his office asking him to get his shit together or else he was out of Intelligence. His day couldn't get any worse. At least, he thought it couldn't but when he arrived at the bar, the first thing he saw was Kim and the new guy laughing and smiling and touching each other at their own table.
Once again, his hands turned into fists during a few seconds but he controlled himself by ordering shots. He drank alone meanwhile the rest of the team was chatting at their usual table and Kim was on her date. This was hell and Adam couldn't complain anymore that it was Wendy's fault or the job's fault. He could only drink into oblivion, a thing he hadn't done for ages, a thing he always told himself he wouldn't do because he was stronger than that. He was certainly not. At least, he lasted a whole week without falling apart.
Five shots later, he made his way outside, not standing the view anymore. How could he turned that way? He was bitter, he was angry, he wanted to punch everyone. He used to be funny, not caring about anything, just jumping into danger and forgetting to think about anyone around him. Well, that wasn't the case anymore. He had to do something. He stayed here for a while and finally saw Kim and the guy joined him outside. Connelly must have thought about this perspective because he kissed Kim on the cheek before leaving her with Ruzek.
The silence, that was all they had for a minute. Adam was lost, he didn't understand what was up with him during the past few days and he couldn't face Burgess because of that. Finally, he turned his head to her, pain in his eyes he couldn't hide. Kim stood there, probably not knowing what she should do. She had every right to be mad at him after everything that's happened between them and Adam couldn't blame her if he chose to leave him here alone. However, she got closer to him. He could feel her sweet perfume, the one smell he couldn't get rid off since he kissed her. It was everywhere around him since that day and that made him crazy.
"Who is that guy?" The question he had on his mind all day long, he hoped for an answer now that Kim was here with him. He looked at her eyes but he couldn't tell a damn thing about what she was thinking now.
"We were at the academy together if that's what you're asking. And he's my new partner but you already knew that." He already knew all of it and that didn't satisfy him at all.
"I know that, yes. And I don't know what to do with that piece of information." He was upset and didn't hide it, certainly due to the alcohol given he was always keeping his feelings inside of him.
"Listen Adam, I don't know what you're saying here and for the first time in weeks, I don't wanna know... You chose to give it a shot with Wendy and I respect that so you can't have it both ways and I can't stay alone forever. I just... I have to move on." That was the first time she admitted out loud she had a thing for him. It was making his heart hurt so much, in a way he didn't expect it to hurt. When Wendy gave back his ring, it hurt yes but not as much as the fact Kim was moving on.
"I know what I said. I know I'm an ass too. I wish I was able to say smart-ass or bad-ass but that's untrue, I'm just an asshole, I guess." He was trying to be funny even if the circumstances were awful for him but Burgess laughed a bit before touching his arm, establishing an encouraging connection between the two of them.
"You clearly had too much to drink tonight. The Ruzek I know would never calling himself that. I'm gonna drive you home, come on." She was better than him, Adam always knew that for sure but the way she reacted him around him despite the fact he constantly fucked up was truly astonishing.
"Maybe. I don't know. The Ruzek you know hasn't been around these days. I even fucked up during a simple arrest. Usually, I don't think at all and do my job without second thoughts, you know." Indeed, Kim knew. She was the first to ask him how he did it, always walking straight the danger and never caring about the suspects killed or something like that.
"What's going on then? Are you OK?" It was the question he asked her a billion times a day before they became awkward around each other because of his choices, the situation was reversed, great. He looked away, trying to think about the consequences if he told her everything...
"Wendy broke off the engagement. I think we're through. It was about time, I guess." They arrived at Kim's car by the time he finished his sentence and Kim dropped the keys on the ground when she heard those words. She mumbled something before grabbing the keys and opened the door.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm... I just... I don't know what to say." She switched on the ignition and was ready to leave when she realized Adam was still outside, in front of her car, looking at her.
"Don't say anything. I don't want you to say a goddamn thing about it because it doesn't matter. Not anymore. And I should have ended this engagement ages ago, I have no excuses. It's my fault if I'm alone with a ring I have no use for. It's my fault if you hate me too. I deserve it even if I'm not gonna admit this tomorrow when I'll sober up." He smiled because he knew it was true. Adam would definitely go on as if nothing happened the night before even if he remembered every second of it. He never showed his feelings, he was too afraid for that, he was too much of a guy to do that generally.
"I don't hate you. You know I don't. Now, get in the car." Surprisingly, Ruzek followed her orders without resisting.
The road is not that far between the bar and Adam's flat and no one felt the need to fill in the silence... Until Kim parked in front of the building.
"I don't like that guy, Kim. I don't like the way he behaves around you, it drives me crazy to think about it. How can I cover your ass if he's here all the time?" He looked at her with this longing look only him can do. She responded with an awkward silence.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything..." He tried to apologize but she kept looking at him, trying probably to process the information.
"That didn't seem to bother you when Atwater was my partner." A new silence took place between us while Ruzek scratched his head.
"Atwater didn't hit on you all the goddamn time. He just protected you. I don't trust the new guy for that." What a way to say he was jealous. Nice try, Ruzek.
"Jamie is a nice guy and a great cop. And it's not like I have a choice, haven't I?" His hand came to grab hers, his eyes intensively trying to say something really important to her.
"Yes, you have." There, he said it. Even if it was quite veiled. He gave her a choice. He gave himself to her. He was being reckless again, he was being him for the first time in days and he got closer, his other hand squeezing her cheek gently. He waited for her to stop this when she wanted but she didn't do anything. She kept her eyes locked on his when he got closer and closer and closer. Until his lips touched hers. Until he kissed her, with passion, with desire, with everything she wanted from him but couldn't have. She wasn't the one to stop the kiss, Adam stepped back, smiling at her.
"You have the choice, Burgess." And he left her that way, shaking and lost. He was too but he made his choice.
The morning after, Ruzek was in the best mood he had been for weeks. He whistled when he arrived at Platt's desk to sign a few reports. She looked at him, frowning, a way to make him shut up.
"Rebel without a cause is back, that's good news. Would you mind stopping your nonsense and get the hell out of here before I call security? Your good mood is annoying." And she looked at him over her glasses with an ironic smile rising. Ruzek winked at her again.
"Have a great day, Sergeant." Soft voice, clear smile, he was nice. When he turned around to get to the stairs, he saw Kim coming in. Instantly, his smile appeared and enlightened the entire room. She had that effect on him, she did that to him ever since she walked in the bar that night after their patrol together. When the new guy made his entrance right behind her, hugging her the minute he was in, Ruzek saw red. He stayed in the middle of the hall, looking at him with his murdering eyes that Burgess probably saw because she let go of his embrace to head to the locker room.
Meanwhile, Ruzek and the new guy stayed here, looking at each other without letting go. That didn't last long though because Voight arrived and spoke.
"Connelly, you're with us today. I need you for an undercover mission. Ruzek, you back him up on this one." Before Adam could do anything, Voight was already gone. None of the guys moved a finger for a full minute and Kim came back witnessing the awkward situation. Then, Adam gave her a loving look and invited Connelly to follow him upstairs. His mood was not so good after all.
"What just happened there?" Kim said more to herself than to anyone in the room.
"Well, your two boyfriends, Rebel without a Cause and Pain in the Ass tried to play cowboys in the hallway. I don't know who won, probably Jolly Jumper since he's more clever than the two of them." Kim looked at Platt with a large smile before getting ready to finish her reports. Great day, indeed.
Somehow, Ruzek survived the day even if he wanted to punch him in the face most of it. The new guy had to infiltrate a gangster squad, a group of wealthy young adults who were smarter than the average at her age. The cover of Connelly almost blew up three times during the afternoon and they were all on the verge of being shot down because of it. Connelly almost screwed up the undercover trying to be a smart-ass. In a way, he looked like him but Adam was too proud to admit it. The difference was clearly physical, Jamie was not like him at all in that way. Adam was at his desk, finishing the report for yesterday before Olinsky killed him. Everyone went to congratulate the new guy before saying each other good night, leaving Ruzek and Connelly by themselves. Adam tried to ignore him, focusing on his paper but his shadow went to him and he had to accept to look at him for a bit.
"You don't like me. I saw the look on your face all day and you sat there while everyone was cheering me. What do I have to do to calm your highness?" He was sarcastic that dumb-ass and Ruzek didn't like it at all. He rose up, looking at him disdainfully.
"You could quit the arrogance act for starters. You almost got us killed today so I'm sorry I don't really fancy preparing a congrats party for your pretty face." That was going to be bad, really bad but Ruzek didn't back off.
"And I'm the arrogant one. Let's just say you hate me because of Burgess, don't try to find stupid reasons." Well, he was a smart-ass after all. Adam was a little surprised but he hid the feeling behind a not so nice look.
"Well, that was nice working with you but I'm gonna go before I do something I might regret." He didn't want to act recklessly, his job was on the line here among other things. Adam took his jacket and ran down the stairs, not wanting to lose it now.
"I'm taking her to dinner tonight, you know, when I'm finished with the paperwork. Have a lovely night, mate." He was going to destroy him. He wanted to kill him but he didn't turn around and made his way to the empty hallway. Well, almost empty, Kim was here, on the bench, waiting. But, for who exactly?
Adam stopped in the middle of the hallway, watching her rise up and coming towards him, quietly. He smiled, she smiled too.
"Are you really gonna have dinner with him? She shook her head.
"Did you really mean what you told me last night?" He nodded with a smile.
"Did you make up your mind?" She didn't move her head but smiled anyway.
"It depends." She bit her lower lip while saying that and Adam laughed for a while, starting to get what she wanted.
"On what exactly?" He got closer to her, playing the game even if it was a bit silly.
"Hum... On what the guy is willing to give me if I really choose him. I will be truly disappointed if I have to get through an entire Transformers movie or something like that on a first date." They laughed together and Adam put his arms around her, really satisfied being able to do that after everything they've been through.
"Who does that? Is it the new guy? What a dumb-ass, really..." And Adam kissed her, without reserve, without fear, without any remorse. He had wanted her from the start, when they were on traffic duty together and when she came into the bar later that day. Ever since that day, he cursed himself for wanting her because of Wendy but she wasn't on the picture anymore. He was free. Finally free to love her.
"I'm the dumb-ass, I knew it. But I'm a lucky one apparently... And I'm gonna fight for you, for this everyday, I want you to know that, I want you to trust me now." He squeezed her cheeks and Kim put her arms around his neck, smiling.
"I think I'm gonna try... If you keep covering my ass, of course." He kissed her again, that time more chastely.
"There's no other options actually. So be it. Us." And that was it, finally. No more new guys in the pictures. No more Wendy. Just them... Kissing in the middle of the hallway they spent most of their awkward times together. Banging into each other. Talking nonsense. Trying to avoid each other look's.
"Oh my god, I'm gonna puke... So many rainbows, puppies and unicorns. Whatever, good night lovebirds. You. Come with me." Platt passed by them saying that but they didn't care much as she invited Connelly to go outside with her before she actually lost her mind at the view.
Five minutes later, they were out as well, looking at each other, happily. Then, Adam took her hand and they walked together towards Kim's flat. It didn't matter who the new guy was anymore. Nothing mattered, really, except the fact they finally found their way to each other. They let their feelings for the other out in the open. Their love. And they gave it a shot. Finally.