A/N: Warning for mentions of physical and sexual abuse.

Dan hadn't expected to arrive to an empty house. He'd had a pretty good day, enjoyed his holiday and had a nice flight, and had been waiting to come home to his boyfriend. He'd really been looking forward to kisses and cuddles and wherever they went from there, and Phil was meant to be home by now, but was nowhere to be found. He checked his phone for any missed calls, messages… nothing. "Phil?" he called again, voice echoing through the apartment. Strange; he'd just talked to him earlier, and Phil told him he was packing and ready to go home –that he couldn't wait to see him.

"Phil?" He checked every room, growing more and more worried with each one he found empty. "Could he just be running late?" Dan thought out loud. It wasn't impossible that Phil might have missed his train, or there was a delay. He was only meant to get back shortly before Dan, and the flight had been a bit early. He tried to put it out of his mind and just play some Pokemon, but his mind kept returning to the issue.

The more time that went by, the harder it was to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. It was getting late, and Phil still wasn't home.

Just to be sure that Phil had actually left home like he was supposed to that morning, Dan decided to ring his parents, but they confirmed that he'd gotten on the train at nine o'clock. Dan swallowed, thanked them, and hung up.

He couldn't sleep that night, not wanting to miss when Phil came home and not wanting to sleep in their bed alone. He considered just sleeping in the bed in "his" room, but that would only feel more empty than sleeping in their bed in their room. He must've left dozens of messages, but was never met with a response. He vomited twice before morning, shaking with fear for what might've happened.

'Leave a message after the rawr!'

Winter ended, spring came and went, and summer was here. Dan was literally dragged to a smaller local convention after hardly leaving the flat for months. He was anxious over being unable to answer his phone, in case the agent from missing persons called with any news.

Dan's YouTube career had skyrocketed over the last few months. After Phil's disappearance, he'd thrown himself into making videos just to distract himself. There were no radio shows anymore –Radio 1 had promised, though, that if Phil ever came back, they would renew them. Dan was uploading a video at least once a week, and was approaching four and a half million subscribers. He cynically figured they were only pity subscriptions.

It was no secret to the internet world what Dan was going through. A week after he was reported missing, it was all over news sites that Phil "AmazingPhil" Lester was presumed kidnapped, and just another three weeks before it was decided it was safe to say he was probably dead. And like that, a lot of the world just dropped it. But Phil's family, his one-point-five million loyal subscribers, and especially his boyfriend weren't ready to give up hope.

Every one of Dan's videos ended with the number of the missing persons hotline, begging for anyone watching who might have information on his whereabouts to please call. He wasn't going to give up; he needed his love back in his life, or… at least some closure.

He loved his viewers –he really, really did, but it was getting more and more difficult to act like he was happy when he just wasn't. He had gone to see a therapist –once- two months ago, who diagnosed him with traumatic depression and prescribed medication that he wasn't going to take.

He went through the motions here, just waiting for it to be over so he could go and make another video. He hated doing this alone, he'd always had Phil here with him. He went and hugged and took pictures with fans, but with each person he felt his chest growing tighter and his stomach twisting. He wasn't equipped to do this by himself, his anxiety was too much. 'Just a few more,' he told himself, trying to stay calm. 'Then you can go home.' He tried to forget just how suffocating the empty flat was.

"Dan?"

He could've sworn he was hearing things.

He looked from his feet to the face of the person in front of him. It was badly battered, but there was no way he wouldn't recognize the love of his life.

"I- I figured I'd find you here."

A/N: Reviews = quicker updates!