Economic Chrisis in the Diablo World
No i dont own Diablo, and wouldnt if i could.
Back in 1206 is when this story takes place, the medieval Diablo times.
Its a tale about a young and poor sorceress named Kaptive that lived in the Rogue Encampment.
Akara: Time to pay the rent girl.
Kaptive: I just payed you yesterday!
Akara: I dont give a shit, pay me the rent or leave!
The situation was too bad outside, so she had to pay again...
Kashya: Pay me the rent now bitch
Kaptive: I gave it to Akara...
Kashya: I need it more than her!
Kaptive: Then go and take it from her
Kashya: Its easier to take it from you
And so she did...
Kaptive ran back to her tent, but in her way there, she encountered Warriv
Warriv: Hey
Kaptive: How are you Warriv
Warriv was probably the only non-corrupt person in the whole camp
Warriv: You know what today is?
Kaptive: No
Warriv: Its Tuesday Oct, 29. Black Tuesday!
Kaptive: Whats that supposed to mean?
Warriv: The stock market has crashed, thats why the economy is so bad
Kaptive: No wonder i had to pay the rent 3 times...
Kaptive was desperate, she wasnt willing to accept what has happened.
She went back to her tent next to Warriv, and her stash wasnt there anymore.
Coincidently, it was next to Gheed, empty.
Kaptive needed money urgently, so she went outside to the Blood Moor to kill some monsters.
Most of the monsters said "Immune to Everything mightaswell."
The few she managed to kill with her frozen orb would drop negative money somehow.
Kaptive: Arent you gonna attack me?
Zombie: Naw, im late to work, ive been walkin there since yesterday
Even Zombies had to work to get their own gold.
Fake items would drop, real ones where too expensive to afford, specially with a 9 to 5.
Quilt Rat: Dont even bother, there are no monsters right now, they all at work
Kaptive: Well why arent you?
Quilt Rat: Im 7 days old, im livin of my social security money.
So Kaptive went back to the Rogue Encampment empty-handed.
10 secs later she realized how stupid she was.
Why didnt she kill the Rat and take its money? Oh well.
Warriv: Heyyy Kaptive! You got a telegram!
Kaptive: Really? Let me see?
And so Warriv handed the document over
Kaptive: Its from my mother! I havent heard from her since she moved to Kuurast Docks 6 years ago!
She opened the envelope "Kaptive, send me money, or i'll kill your little brother."
Kaptive, super used to gettin blackmailed, when to look for the money somewhere.
Kaptive: Hey Charsi, i came to make a loan
Charsi: Sure, current interest rate is at 240. How much do you need?
Kaptive: Just 2,000 gold pieces, ill pay you back tomorrow
Charsi: Sure.
And so Charsi made the loan. Kaptive sent the money back to her mother.
Kaptive: Well, today hasnt been all that bad, at least i saved my brothers life.
5 Hours have passed, now Kaptive is back out to the Blood Moor looking for monsters.
She spotted a crying fallen, so she came up to him.
Kaptive: Whats wrong?
Fallen: I got scammed!! I traded my sabres for an annihilus, turns out its a damn soul stone!
Kaptive ended the poor monster's misery with a Nova blast. In fact, the Soul Stone dropped.
As soon as Kaptive approached it to loot it, a Necro came with an Enigma.
He jacked the soul stone and teleported away. Vanished into nothingness...
Suddenly, her life changed. She saw a duel between two barbs.
They both killed eachother with Berserk, not that much blood came out, they had long sold it.
The few gold pieces each carried dropped, and their ear too.
Kaptive picked up the 15,000 they dropped in total, she left back home.
Kaptive: Charsi, i wish to pay you
Charsi: Lets see, i loaned you 2,000 for 2 hours 26 minutes at 240, that would be 69,000
Kaptive: Are you kiddin me?
Charsi: Or how much you got?
Kaptive: 15!
Charsi: That will do! For now...
Kaptive went back to Blood Moor, and found an enemy that said "Not Immune to Fire, it was too expensive"
Lucky she knew Hydra. Not so lucky when she casted it, they BSed her.
Kaptive barely escaped alive, she went back to town.
Kaptive: I need a Potion Akara! Quickly, im dyin!
Akara: They're 4,000 each
Kaptive: I only have this Oculus! How much would yu give me for it?
Akara: 120
Kaptive: ... that wont buy me a potion now will it...
Akara: I have this one thats 150, plus tax
Kaptive: Fuck it! Here you go my P Wartravs too
Kaptive didnt know that the potion she bought was bootlegged.
It was poison, Kaptive died to a potion...
The next day, money rained...
Thats the End, i might make a Pally chapter, if i can afford the ink to type it...