My turn on the Burn Notice 10 songs iPod challenge, mostly post eps, but some random stuff. This was fun. Thanks to illuminazione for the idea. Look at my bizzare music tastes and laugh please. :) These are really really not edited.. because thats kind of the point and if I even tried to clean them up a little.. I'd rewrite them. :o OKAY SO I DID GO BACK FOR SPELLING AFTER PUBLISHING .. I COULDN'T STAND IT.. BUT I DID NOT CHANGE ANY CONTENT. SCOUTS HONOR :)
iPod challenge rules:
Choose a theme, genre, fandom or pairing
Put your iPod on shuffle.
Now you have the time the song lasts to write a little songfic.
1.
Not Afraid
Eminem
(post ep to 'Long Way Back')
With her he's stronger. With her he's made it through this. Without her he's suddenly lost.
He has to admit, he was selfishly pleased when Sean says she can never go back. It was stupid really because it's not that she can't leave Miami or him.. but some how he knows that she won't.
He killed Strickler. Diego is dead. He knows something's coming, something big, but some how even in the unknown he's at peace. Maybe seeing her handcuffed and floating face down in the ocean reorganized his priories. She is his priority. Not getting back in, not if it means sacrificing her.
He realizes that. He needed to face this head on. He was burned. It happened, but he isn't alone. He had a family here, jobs, a life.
Holy hell Michael Westen is putting down roots? She stirs beside him and he reaches out and brushes the hair from her face. For once he really isn't afraid. Of her, of the future. He reaches for her fingers, locking them with his before sighing and scooting down beside her.
2.
Merry Christmas from the Family
Montgomery Gentry
Fiona's eyes are wide as Ruth's mother leans across the table, her enormous breast hanging out of her shirt. I try not to laugh, my mother snorts beside me.
Sam coughs, drawing my attention to the door where he and Jesse are standing. I pat Fiona's leg as I make my way to the door.
"Problems with the client?" I mutter through my fake grin, tugging off the mistletoe hat that my mom gave him.
"I need your piece." He breaths through a fake chuckle.
"Going on a beer run!"Jesse says loudly. "Anyone need anything?"
I pass Sam my 9 mil and an extra clip behind Jesse's back. My brother's eyes widen when he sneaks a peek, his eyes darting from in law to in law before glaring at me. I shrug.
"So Michael!" Ruth's crooked teethed sister exclaims loudly. "When are you and Fiona going to get married?"
Fi's wide eyes close slowly when I look at her then back to the sister.
"Yes Michael." My mother asks, taking an exaggerated drag at her cigarette. "When are you and Fiona going to get married?"
I open my mouth only to snap it shut again when I hear the Charger peel out of the driveway.
"Merry Christmas from the Westen's." My girlfriend's sing song mumble makes me snort too.
3.
Apologize
Timberland
(during ep "Sins of Omission')
You were the closest I ever came.
Lie.
I've never been as happy with anyone as I was with you.
Lie.
Spies don't get married.
Lie.
It's not worth the risk to you!
Lie.
I stare forward, listening to Sam prattle on about something. Madelyn's smoke drifts over to me and I don't wave it away.
He was engaged. Almost married before he even met me. He never told me. He never even...
My eyes are suddenly blurry and I fight not to cry. I won't. I won't let him see me cry over this.
When he looks at me I want to hit him. I want to hurt him.
I can see the apology on his lips and I shake my head as if to push it away.
It's too late. There's nothing he can say to fix this.
4.
Because of you
Reba McIntire and Kelley Clarkson
(during ep 'Identity')
He loves her, but sometimes he hates her. He thinks of how much easier it would have been if she'd been stronger. If she'd packed his father's things and set them on the curb. If she'd gotten a job and taken care of things.
He looks at her fawning over Fiona and for a second he's transported to that alternate reality and Fiona is his June bride. He's brought her home to meet his mother's friends.
He wonders if he'll ever really have that. If he'll ever be able to give that to Fiona. He knows that it's not fair to her to keep her half in and half out of his soul. He's scared of what she'll see there if he lets her in.
He wonders what Fi would think of him if she saw the fourteen year old stealing food and cars for his family. Taking beatings meant for his mother and brother.
She'd feel sorry for him. He wonders if that would be so bad. If maybe he should let her.
His mother gives him a wide approving smile and for a moment he wants to yell at her. Tell her it's because of her that this can't be true.
5.
Welcome to the Future
Brad Paisley
(post ep. 'Shot in the Dark')
Joey made him think. Joey made him think for the first time in a long time about his childhood self. It was almost a chance to go back. Almost a chance to go back and talk to himself at that age. To show him what would come later.
That the future was something he couldn't even imagine. It might have helped, knowing the things he was seeing would someday be made useful. The cold numb feeling that settled over him when things started to go down with his father would someday be one of his greatest skills.
Fiona sighs beside him on her couch, cuddling further into him absorbed in some movie he stopped watching long ago. He suddenly imagines himself from the future coming to him now, to show him what was to come later. He wonders if his future self will look back on this time as useful too. If he'd tell him that these moments, ones just like this, were more valuable then he knows.
He wants to ask his future self how it turns out. He wants to know the answer. It's only when Fiona's tiny hand locks with his that he decides he should pay closer attention to right now. Just in case.
6.
For Good
Original Broadway Cast
(Menzel and Chenweith)
His cover is blown. He has to keep reminding himself of that as she giggles over pasta her foot moving around his own playfully. His cover is blown and if he stays here he's a sitting duck.
And she's as good as dead.
He makes love to her like it's all he has left and maybe it is. Maybe this will kill anything in him that's not already dead.
He'd forgotten he was even alive until he met her. He wonders if he'll die again when he's away from her. He watches her face, listening for her breathing to tell him that she's in the deepest parts of sleep. His guts clench when it does, he winces pressing his lips to hers and pulling away. He tosses a few things into a black duffel bag. His hands hover over a stack of pictures before he decides they're worth the risk and shoves them in with the rest. He lets his fingers caress her H&K USP Compact with the silver slide before he puts it in his waist band.
He'll never be the same and he knows it. He hopes she knows it too.
7.
If I Die Young
The Band Perry
(during ep. 'Good Intentions')
She's more shaken then usual after the incident with Gabriel. He wants to lecture her on Stockholm syndrome but something stops him. There's something that he doesn't quite see yet about this job.
She's emotionally worn out by the time he gets her home. He practically has to carry her into the house. He washes her face and lays her on the duvet.
"Talk to me." He whispers laying down next to her. She lays her head against his shoulder and he wraps his arms around her tightly. He's been too close to loosing her too often lately. He leans back to look at her when he realizes she's crying. "Fiona, what did he say to you?"
"Claire." She explains in one ghostly whisper. He presses his forehead against hers and pulls her tighter. He waits, but she doesn't continue and he's not surprised.
Her sisters death is something she doesn't talk about. He'd originally heard the story from her brothers. Fiona only talked about it when it was completely necessary.
He wonders what went down with Gabriel that made it necessary. When he looks back she's asleep and he decides maybe it's better that he doesn't know.
8.
Hot N Cold
Katie Perry
Sometimes Fiona thinks Michael has split personality or something. One minute she's the love of his life and he can't keep his hands off of her. Then the next he's leaving her behind to drive into trucks or hop in helicopters or run off with strange men.
There are nights when they are clearly together, there are days when they are clearly not.
Sometimes he seems so eager to push her away she feels vaguely sick by the turn of events.
Sometimes she's so sick of the burn notice she wants to scream and stomp her feet. Sometimes she thinks he's starting to buy into her little idea of the perfect future.
He loves her. God she knows that with everything she is. But sometimes she doesn't know if that's enough.
9.
Battlefield
Jordan Sparks
(Post ep 'Out of the Fire')
Fiona leaves physical scars. The one's Michael leaves are less obvious.
She thinks about his rejections; the soft ones, the sharp ones, the indirect ones. She thinks that she's never turned him down, for love that is. For back up? Perhaps. For unconditional support? On occasion, but not for love. Every time he reaches for her she's there.
He's not moving on until he's won this war and she's decided it's not winnable. One road block after another. He acted today like she could just walk away at any moment. How could he think it was that easy?
She's tired. That's what she's thinking as they're packing to run and hide from Vaughn. There is no future to talk about, that's why they don't talk about it anymore.
She'll fight his ridiculous battles as long as they're both still here to fight them, but the further away from her he pulls she starts to wonder why. She thinks the scars she leaves are far less deep than his.
10.
Breathe
Melissa Etheridge
(post ep 'Devil You Know')
He's gone.
She replays Maddy's words over and over again in her head as she leans her head against the cool counter of the loft.
Sam's last best chance at a lead when dry. They've got nothing. He's just gone.
She should go home. Her bed is more comfortable and her air conditioning works at least some of the time. Home.
She's not sure where that is. She slides off the stool and slips onto the bed. Her chest aches, her head aches. She buries her face in his pillows and inhales.
…
"Fi." She didn't realize she'd fallen asleep until she hears Sam's voice. He's sitting at the counter drinking a beer and she wonders how long he's been there. "I think it's time we take a job."
He swivels on the stool and gives her a remorseful look.
She takes a tight painful breath before nodding at him.