xocrisscrossxo- to all my fans who faithfully read all my stories mostly "Just Give Me the Pink Slip" i am soooooooooooo sorry its taking long. but hey summers a couple weeks away and i promise to get my lazy ass motivated to do write not the next chapter but the one after that. (cause i never update unless i have a chapter behinde the one im updating) So as a treat heres my Who the Hell is Edward story. Be warned Naru is very O.C. but hey it's in the name of love. And god knows men tend to lose their heads when it comes to their women.
Gene- Yes hahaha this should be good! Oh the joy of seeing your sibilings make fools of themselves. HAHA
xocrisscrossxo- i second that! so sit back relax and watch naru lose his head in a jealous rage. should be fun
naru- what the hell?
mai- Now whose the idiot naru?
Monk-*reading from a card* "remember xocrisscrossxo does not own ghost hunt! this is just a fanfiction. if xocrisscrossxo owned ghost hunt naru would have a really strong british accent because she thinks british accents are damn sexy" wait what?
xocrisscrossxo- ON WITH THE STORY!

Who the hell is Edward

Naru sat at his desk looking over some files for cases to consider. It had been very quiet the last few weeks. Naru noticed however that Mai was more distracted then he ever seen her before. It took several shouts for his tea before Mai even responded, and it wasn't even her usual
"Geez Naru try a please every once in awhile! Narasitic tea addict." No it was just a
"Ya sure...tea...got it" Not only did it take forever, but the tea tasted awful.

She'd been sitting her desk reading some book, that was probably for school. 'Maybe she has some big project or big test?' Trying to explain her odd behaviour. Naru was walking towards the door getting ready to yell for tea stopping when he heard his secretary/ assistant on the phone.

"Haha, ya Ami I know! Ya two other friends of mine have fallen for Edward too. Well can you blame them? Hahaha, tell me about it! Edward is a greek god! No, no, Emmet is not as hot as Edward! I don't care if he doesn't have muscles! Have you see his hair! It's like...AMAZING!" Naru stood behind a door separating him and Mai.

It was a good thing to because his glare could of turned anyone who he looked at to stone.
'Who the hell is this Edward guy?' Naru gnashed his teeth together he was about to burst into the room and tell Mai to stop wasting time, and try not to give her 3rd degree about this 'greek god' 'Awesome hair and greek god my ass.'

A loud slam echoed threw the office.
"Mai! Oh my GOD! You've been keeping the Cullens all to yourself you bitch! How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends, yet here you are holding out on me!" The voice belonged to the shrine maiden, and sometimes coworker of the Shibuya Physic Research group.
"Hiding a guy like Edward Cullen from me what kinda friend are you?" Naru could hear Mai giggle.
"So I'll take it you can't get enough of my man huh?" Naru cracked the door open a bit to watch them

'Her man? Since when did Mai have a man? She's MY girl!...wait a second...my girl?'
"Well to be honest...I think I like Carlie but he's Edwards adoptive dad so I guess I'll have to take Jacob." Ayako and Mai bursted into a bunch of giggles. The door opened and Masako walked in.
'Ah finally she'll break up all this shit!'

"Mai...Edward is...amazing!" Masako was quiet but you could hear the excitment in her voice.
'Nooooooo! Masako I had faith in you!'

"Sorry hunny he's mine! We've already decided to get hitched in Las Vegas!"
"Ya even though he's married right?"
"Ya well Bella whines to much anyway."

All of them giggled again. Naru couldn't take anymore he had to get them to just stop talking! Naru slammed his office door open

"Mai TEA! Sorry I was under the impression that this was a office not a social club." Mai huffed, Ayako crossed her arms and glared right back at Naru, Masako blushed and looked away. "Geez Naru sorry." Mai turned and walked into the kitchen the two girls following. Naru walked back into the office leaving the door slightly cracked he wanted to learn more about this 'Edward Cullen' guy.
'He's married! And those three sit and joke about it! What's wrong with them! She's gonna get hurt and I'm the one who is gonna have to clean up this mess!" Naru glared at the opean files. From the cracked door he could only hear bits and pieces of the girls conversation.

First it was Mai's voice
"...Voice...talk...naturally...British accent sooo sexy!" 'Britsh accent? He's from England? Adoptive father...british accent if he has a dead twin brother I'm gonna flip shit.' Naru thought seething in his chair.

Next was Ayako's voice
"Heard what he said on..." Mai filled in
"Ya he said...'Your my own personal brand of heroin!'" Naru heard a rather large squeel.

"Freakin pansy ass!" Naru mumbled. He heard a tea kettle whisle several seconds later the voices of the girls grew louder as they began to leave the kitchen.
"I wish Naru would act more like him sometimes."That was Mai's voice, it felt like a dagger in his heart.

'She wishes...I was someone else?' "Just you know sweet, gentle... and kinder." Naru felt sick in his stomach Masako answered "Showing his emotions more wouldn't hurt I guess." She suggested quietly. Mai walked into the office, "Here you go Naru." Mai gave a smile and walked out the door. Naru nodded and Mai left shutting the door behind her, Naru didn't bother to reopen it he didn't want to hear anymore.

No if he did, he was sure he just get madder to the point where he wind up finding this Edward guy and beating him to a bloody pulp. Atleast now he could hold it in a little longer. As much as he wanted to interfer now he felt he didn't have a excuse.
'She's my empoylee and here I am acting like some jealous boyfriend. It's her boyfriend...her life. If she want's to fuck it up and get her heart broken from dating a married man well then fine. She just better not request any days off when she's crying her eyes out because the bastered broke her heart. And I am to kind!...aren't I?" It was getting late the girls were still at the office talking in the kitchen. Naru stood up streching, his mind had been running a mile a minute all afternoon and now it was getting late and he was getting the headache from hell.

Naru walked towards the door of his office exiting and heading towards the kitchen to get some Tylenol. Naru paused outside the kitchen frozen in his spot.
The girls were talking quietly
"Ya... can't eat chicken...makes...sick. Test...possitive...pregant"
"WHAT! When?"Ayako shrieked
"*mummbled Dawn...girl...name Reneismee."

'Mai...Mai was...pregnant? His Mai was pregnant?' Naru staggered away from the wall he leaned against it with his head in his hands.
'I.. I won't stand for this. I'll KILL that bastered! How dare he touch her!' Naru ran quickly ran towards Lin's office he walked in closed the door and walked up to his assistant. Lin looked up shocked at the amount of rage on his bosses face.

"Naru...relax if things start flying off the wall you'll land yourself in the hospital." Naru just glared harder

"I need you find out who this Edward Cullen guy is." Naru spit out with venom.
"May I ask why?" Naru clenched his fist so tight his nucles were white.

"Mai...shes dating the bastered." Lin sighed
"Look you don't need to be jealous.."
"I'm not jealous!" Naru cut him off sharply

"He's married...and she...the asswhole got her pregnant." Lin's face stayed the same.

"Just find out who this guy is!" Naru walked out door slamming it behinde him. Lin picked up the phone and dialed a number it rang two times before someone picked up. "Yasuhara do you happan to know anything about a Edward Cullen?" Lin asked calmly.

"Edward Culllen? Yea, he's some vampire from some book and a movie. All the girls are going nuts over him. He's apparently the new Edward Rochester and Mr. Darcy. Why?"

"Yes I thought I heard something like that. Mai's gotten into him as well and Naru"
"...I can picture it now. Do you need me to bring a camera, he must be losing it by now." Lin smirked. "You have no idea, no no need for a camera but you do have a youtube account correct?"

"Indeed I do."
"Oh good, well I'll clue you in more later."

Naru was back in his office calling a guy who would want to kill this bastered as much as he did

"Monk? Mai's in a situation."
"What kind of situation?" Naru gave a small growl
"She's dating some married bastered...and.."

"WHAT!"

"And shes...pregnant."
"I'LL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE HE TOUCH MY SISTER!" Monk yelled so loud Naru had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"He's some ass named Edward Cullen."

"Give me two minutes I'll be there and I'll get John."
"Right."

A knock at Naru's office door sounded.
"Naru?" Mai's voice questioned.

"Ayako, Masako and I are running out for a couple minutes we'll be right back."
Before he could say no the girls were out the door.

"Pregnant...how can she be pregnant." Naru closed his eyes his head in his hands arms leaning on the desk. He pictured a little baby girl with his dark hair but with Mai's eyes.

'Why am I thinking about that! It's ridicules. I don't think of her like that...do I.' Naru's head began to hurt again.

A loud slam of a door brought Naru from his deep concentration.
Naru walked out of his office, he didn't notice that Lin's door was a little cracked open.
"It's okay Mai! Big Brother Monk is here!" Monk's loud obnoxious voice rang out.

Naru walked towards him " The girls ran out." Monk nodded
"I have a picture of the bastered!" Naru looked at the picture printed from a computer.

'What the hell does she see in this guy?'

Monks cell phone began to hum Monk picked it up.
"Hey John...uh huh...Ya?...

"WHAT?" Naru demanded

"John says this Edward guy has a big family and...uh 2 brothers...2 sisters...married to...Bella Swan uh huh.. uh huh. Big hunting family apparently. What do you mean all the girls are nuts for him! That many? Holy Macaroni! Oh uh no offense. Ya ok I'll pick you up." Monk hanged up the phone

"My poor little sister!" Monk wailed dramatically.

"I'm gonna go get John we'll meet up and discuss how to deal with this jerk." Naru nodded. Monk turnned and rased out the door.

'This is getting insane! First he's married now he's dating most of the female population, the hell is she thinking! He's obviously insane! How can she choose this bastered over me!' He heard the door open and close gently.

"Hey Naru whats up?" Mai smiled gently at her boss. And just like a damn everything blew open, that one smile set him over the edge. Just the idea of someone else getting this smile beside him managed to overfill and spill his anger all over the girl in front of him.

"Hey what's up with Monk. He just ran down the street? Uh Naru you ok?"

"Your so..so.. stupid!" He roard

"Wha" Mai was about to ask before she was interupted.

"Dating this guy is the worst and stupidst thing you've ever done! He's married Mai married! If he cheats on his own wife what makes you think he won't cheat on you!"

"Who are you.."

"Dont't try to protect him! I already know Mai! I know that he got you pregnant and that your having a little girl! But for god sake Mai the man's dated most of the female population! Is that the kinda man you want to raise your child?

And have you even thought about all the possible STD's he might have from dating all those women? Have you gotten checked by a doctor? AIDS doesnt have a cure Mai!
Were you even using protection? And what about school!

You live alone now and are doing fine but a baby cost alot of money! How do you plan to support your self and a child on just this income and still go to school? Running off to Vegas are you nuts? Have more selfrespect then that Mai!

"Naru your..."

"I'm not done! And who the hell says something like
"My own personal brand of heroin?
This shows he also does drugs! Not only that but he's probably said that to all his girlfriends!

Not to mention it's the cheapest line EVER! I can't believe you got swept off your feet by this guy!
I thought you were smarter then that!"

"Naru would you.."

"And come on his hair isn't that nice! Oh yes I know what he looks like! Monk has a picture of him!
That's right Monk knows!
And he's pissed as hell too!

And so what he has a great looking adoptive family!
Looks aren't everything!
And a British accent? C'mmon I have a British accent!

If I start using it more would you think I'm sexy? And I am too kind, and caring, and gentle!
I care about you more then anyone!" Naru was breathing hard and was trying to catch his breath.

He looked at Mai, she had her arms crossed and was starring him down. Naru braced himself for the worst.
'I said that I can't believe I said that.'

"Are you done now or do you want to call me stupid one more time?" Naru shaked his head.

"Good. First of all I am not dating Edward Cullen nor am I marrying him in the near future."
"But you.." Mai held up a hand to silence him.

"You had your turn to talk. Edward is happily married to Bella Swan.
Second I am not pregnant. Cause its kinda of hard to have a sexual relationship with a fictional vampire."

"Fictonal?" Naru questioned softly. Mai smiled.

"Naru, Edward Cullen is a vampire from the book series Twilight! Honestly the whole world knows about it!
C'mmon there's even been two movies released! He's all over the web, the movies, the book stores how did you not catch this?" Naru scratched the back of his head blushing madly.

"I mean even Len knew about Twilight." A slam and the locking of a door could be heard from behinde them.

'Not even his shiki are gonna be able to protect that damn bastered.' Naru thought evily.

"Now about that whole 'I care about you more then anyone.'..."

"Well I uh..." Naru blushed bowing his head slightly to hid it.

"I care about you too Naru." Naru looked up a Mai smiling at him.
"You do? But you said you wished I was kind, and caring like that Cullen guy." Now Mai blushed.

"Every girl dreams about the guy she loves being like some sort of 'perfect man' I didn't mean for you to hear that and I'm sorry.
To be honest Naru I wouldn't change you at all. If you did act that way life be way to boring. I need to someone to argue with every once in a while. It keeps things fun."

Naru smiled and took a step closer to Mai he pulled her close and hugged her tightly.
'I didn't relise how much I cared till the thought of someone taking her away came into my mind.'

Both of them looked at each other Naru leaned in a little closer just as there lips were about to meet...

"Naru you won't believe this that Edward guy is a vampire! A fucking vampire! He's probably just going to eat Mai for dinner!"

The both Mai and Naru jumped apart at the loud entrance.

Monk saw Mai and rushed towards her.

"Don't worry Mai, big brother Monk is here! He'll keep that monster away from you and the baby! Naru, John's coming over with garlic, holy water and crosses. Will get this guy!"

"Monk wait you.." Naru tried explaining but Mai cut him off. Handing a book to Monk.

"Read the back. Honestly do all of you guys live under a rock?" Monk skimmed the back of the book.

"So Edward is.." Naru and Mai nodded.

"And Mai isn't.." Both of them nodded

"So the baby..." They both nodded.

"Wow" and they both nodded.

John came into the room with his arms full of and clothes pin on his nose to fight of the garlic smell.
"I got the stuff you guys need!" He said his voice nasily.

Monk held up the book and turnned it around for John to read the back.
"Oh for the love of.." Monk just grabbed John's shoulder and lead him out the office door.

"Well see you guys later." Monk closed the door behinde him.

"If this was all about a fictional character I'm affraid to find out what's gonna happan when I really do get a boyfriend." Mai shivered at the thought.
Naru smirked beside her.

"You don't have to worry about that."

"Oh really? Why's that?"

"Simple, I can take Monk, or at least hold my own against him. Masako on the other hand I leave to you." Mai smiled up at Naru.

Naru leaned down and kissed her gently. "So about that British accent?" Len was currently in his office uploading a video onto youtube.

The next day Mai and Naru were a internet sensation.

The youtube video was called "Who the hell is Edward"

ZE END!

xocriscrossxo- there you go all you nice kind readers and fans. i hope you enjoy. and to all u guys who are still in school and are able to enjoy summer vaccation you made it! CONGRATS you survived another school year! and have fun this summer! cause someday you'll really miss it! i'll update my other stories soon! Bye Bye