It's a Long Way to Middle Earth
By: LadiesofDiscord
DISCLAIMER: Having some big CEO sue me for writing a story about Tolkein's characters scares the bejeebies outta us, so, after many years of intensive therapy, we can admit it. we don't own anything we want ( aka. We don't own Viggo or Orlando or Elijah or.) Look, no tears!
Warning: this story changes POV a lot ( like, every chapter ) seasickness may occur. If this happens, please press the little purple button thing, review, and then go throw up. Thank you!
*Chapter One ( j- cam aka jordan's pov )
This is my story of how Colleen & I "jumped" into Lothlorien, and destroyed it and saved it at the same time. *~* " I like soda. heh heh." " We know already, Jordan, okay?" said Colleen, " And don't burst into song." " Aww. but, mo.." "NO! GO MOVE TO MIDDLE EARTH OR SOMETHING!"
And then it happened..
*~*
But first, a short introduction. My name is Jordan. I'm your average girl. I'm not the one who got us into this mess, "us" being me and my best friend, Colleen. THIS STORY IS ALL COLLEEN'S FAULT! If not for her, I wouldn't be telling this, and my ears would be back to normal.
With that fact taken care of, lets get back to the story.
*~*
I started seeing green. My vision became green, the sky around me became green, my life became green. Literally. I became an elf. The only elf, I might add, with curly brown hair. But an elf none-the-less. The pointy ears are a drawback, yes, but I truly am lucky. Hobbits are small, Dwarves are selfish, Humans are sweaty, Orcs are scary, and Elves are stuck- up. Out of all those I would rather be stuck up.
When I got to Lothlorien, the scenery was, ah. different. The wood was dark, and my first impression was that it was stale. Like the life an the light had been sucked out of it. I hastily stood up, not realizing that this was the "golden" wood of my books. The forest was silent, so I decided that I must of scared all the birds, bugs, and other noise makers. Unfortunately, that wasn't the truth. I stood there for several hours, not wanting to move unless I scared them. Then it hit me: the reason for the silence wasn't me. Something was wrong here, very wrong.
There seemed to be an impending doom hanging over this forest, one so thick that I could almost reach out and touch it. I started seeing things; shadows of doubt flicked across my mind. Movements moved quickly through my line of sight. My fear and doubt slipped over me like a mask, and somewhere my reason and logic fell off. I was officially scared. Then the bushes behind me started to move.
"Oh, crap, crap, crap!" I muttered, panicing.
I slowly started to spin around to face my "doom". The tree trunk in front of me showed its shadow. The thing was monsterous. It had four large, oddly placed ears, hair pocking out everywhere, and a severly deformed stomach.
I finally had spun 36o degrees, after what had seemed a life time, and faced it.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The thing grabbed my head, put me in a headlock, and twisted my arm up painfully behind my back.. Oddly enough, it had purple, fleece-like fur.
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Purple fleece? My reasonable ( and very small ) side said.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Purple fleece?
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
To my horror the monster started laughing. This is the end, my irrational side said, I'm gonna die as some monster's lunch.
"You're such an idiot!" said my purple fleece monster, still laughing. It dropped me.
I stopped screaming. "Huh?"
" Its me, you dolt!" it yelled.
Then it hit me; the monster was Colleen! Where was a camera when you needed it??
" Omigosh, Colleen! What happened to you?" I said quietly.
She glanced down at herself, then back at me, then herself, then me, and started screaming.
" AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!"
For some odd reason, I started screaming with her. " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
We stood there for an hour at least, until I came up with a solution to the crisis. It was an obvious answer, and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.
" Colleen! Colleen!" I yelled, jumping up and down.
She kept on screaming.
" COLLEEN! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" I yelled. " I think I know what is wrong with you!!"
There ya go, the first chapter of the story. Bask in all its glory!
DISCLAIMER: Having some big CEO sue me for writing a story about Tolkein's characters scares the bejeebies outta us, so, after many years of intensive therapy, we can admit it. we don't own anything we want ( aka. We don't own Viggo or Orlando or Elijah or.) Look, no tears!
Warning: this story changes POV a lot ( like, every chapter ) seasickness may occur. If this happens, please press the little purple button thing, review, and then go throw up. Thank you!
*Chapter One ( j- cam aka jordan's pov )
This is my story of how Colleen & I "jumped" into Lothlorien, and destroyed it and saved it at the same time. *~* " I like soda. heh heh." " We know already, Jordan, okay?" said Colleen, " And don't burst into song." " Aww. but, mo.." "NO! GO MOVE TO MIDDLE EARTH OR SOMETHING!"
And then it happened..
*~*
But first, a short introduction. My name is Jordan. I'm your average girl. I'm not the one who got us into this mess, "us" being me and my best friend, Colleen. THIS STORY IS ALL COLLEEN'S FAULT! If not for her, I wouldn't be telling this, and my ears would be back to normal.
With that fact taken care of, lets get back to the story.
*~*
I started seeing green. My vision became green, the sky around me became green, my life became green. Literally. I became an elf. The only elf, I might add, with curly brown hair. But an elf none-the-less. The pointy ears are a drawback, yes, but I truly am lucky. Hobbits are small, Dwarves are selfish, Humans are sweaty, Orcs are scary, and Elves are stuck- up. Out of all those I would rather be stuck up.
When I got to Lothlorien, the scenery was, ah. different. The wood was dark, and my first impression was that it was stale. Like the life an the light had been sucked out of it. I hastily stood up, not realizing that this was the "golden" wood of my books. The forest was silent, so I decided that I must of scared all the birds, bugs, and other noise makers. Unfortunately, that wasn't the truth. I stood there for several hours, not wanting to move unless I scared them. Then it hit me: the reason for the silence wasn't me. Something was wrong here, very wrong.
There seemed to be an impending doom hanging over this forest, one so thick that I could almost reach out and touch it. I started seeing things; shadows of doubt flicked across my mind. Movements moved quickly through my line of sight. My fear and doubt slipped over me like a mask, and somewhere my reason and logic fell off. I was officially scared. Then the bushes behind me started to move.
"Oh, crap, crap, crap!" I muttered, panicing.
I slowly started to spin around to face my "doom". The tree trunk in front of me showed its shadow. The thing was monsterous. It had four large, oddly placed ears, hair pocking out everywhere, and a severly deformed stomach.
I finally had spun 36o degrees, after what had seemed a life time, and faced it.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The thing grabbed my head, put me in a headlock, and twisted my arm up painfully behind my back.. Oddly enough, it had purple, fleece-like fur.
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Purple fleece? My reasonable ( and very small ) side said.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Purple fleece?
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
To my horror the monster started laughing. This is the end, my irrational side said, I'm gonna die as some monster's lunch.
"You're such an idiot!" said my purple fleece monster, still laughing. It dropped me.
I stopped screaming. "Huh?"
" Its me, you dolt!" it yelled.
Then it hit me; the monster was Colleen! Where was a camera when you needed it??
" Omigosh, Colleen! What happened to you?" I said quietly.
She glanced down at herself, then back at me, then herself, then me, and started screaming.
" AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!"
For some odd reason, I started screaming with her. " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
We stood there for an hour at least, until I came up with a solution to the crisis. It was an obvious answer, and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.
" Colleen! Colleen!" I yelled, jumping up and down.
She kept on screaming.
" COLLEEN! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" I yelled. " I think I know what is wrong with you!!"
There ya go, the first chapter of the story. Bask in all its glory!