Title: What Tosh Saw

Author: Remusgirl21

Rating: T

Summary: After hearing Ianto's thoughts, Tosh begins what she calls 'Ianto Watch'. Its then she starts to notice things changing between her favorite tea boy and their captain.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Torchwood. If I did...so many things would have changed!

Note: This is a tribute to the wonderful Ms. Toshiko Sato and the heartbreaking love of Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness.

*Spoilers up to "Exit Wounds"*

-First Observations-

'There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt...'

The words echoed in her mind for the rest of the week. Even after Mary...and the necklace were destroyed she couldn't quite get those quivering words out of her head.

God, how much Ianto was hurting. It made her heart clench when he gave those half hearted smiles, knowing they were forced for their benefit. She had tried to ask him about it once, before this whole thing happened, and he just gave another quirk and whispered:

"Now Tosh...you aren't supposed to worry about the help. It just isn't done."

How low he thought himself to be. The help. He saved her life, all their lives, and he thought himself the help. She tried to argue but he patted her hand and went to the kitchen to fetch the coffee Owen was yelling about. He didn't smile for the rest of the day, but she did catch him staring at her with a puzled expression that stole the breath from her lungs.

She spent her days doing what she now called "Ianto Watch". From the moment she walked into the hub, Tosh's eyes would follow him. She saw how he walked through the room quietly, hoping no one noticed him when he refilled their coffee and got their snacks. He always looked startled when Tosh greeted him with a smile and a soft:

"Thank you Ianto. I really appreciate it."

He picked up after them, cleaning no matter how gory the mess was. When a weevil they had caught two days before escaped from his cage and Jack shot it through the head, Ianto immediatly moved in and grasped it by the arms, dragging the carcass to the lower levels that housed the incinerator. He came back up moments later, his suit stained with bodily fluids, and bent down on his hands and knees to clean the gore still left on the floor. Tosh's eyes filled with tears as Jack strutted out of his office and calmly walked over Ianto to get to Gwen's desk. Ianto paused, clutched his eyes tight, and took in a shuddering breath before continuing his work. She could see the tell tale streaks on his cheeks though as she grabbed a towel and bent down to help. He stared up at her, that sad little smile on his lips as he took the towel from her.

"Thank you, but no Tosh. This is my job...becides, you have on your favorite purple blouse. Wouldn't want it to get stained, now would we?"

During "Ianto Watch" Tosh began to notice peculiar things about her favorite subject. It started out with little things, a glance, that sad smile flashing, the tremble of his hands when he picked up a blue and white striped coffee cup that rested in the Boardroom. All when their boss was standing near. Ianto's eyes would follow their captain wherever he went. His eyes would become hooded, and he would glance down and sigh before continuing his work. Tosh knew the signs; she could recognize a crush from a mile away, having had one herself for years. But it wasn't until a week after the Mary incident that Tosh began to realize how wrong she was.

It was weevil breeding time in town and all of Torchwood was sent to help, including Ianto. They had just come upon a nest and Jack had rushed in head on, only to be thrown up against a tree, his neck snapping. The others sighed and took off after the retreating weevils, leaving Ianto and Tosh alone with their fallen leader. Tosh shook her head and started forward, only to pause at a choked off cry. She swiveled around, her eyes widening in shock.

Ianto was cradling their captain's head in his lap, his long fingers threading through the chocolate colored strands with tender care. Tears streaked the younger man's face and unchecked onto the body below. Tosh dropped to the ground beside them, her heart aching as she touched his hand. He glanced up, his blue eyes filled with emotion.

"I know he comes back. He always does...but he hurts so much when he does. And I hate to see him hurt so."

Jack's eyes shot open before she could answer, his breath coming out in shrieking gasps. Tosh sat back suddenly as his weight was thrust at her. She could only watch helplessly as Ianto stumbled to his feet and took off, something about 'helping the others' tumbling from his lips. She nodded slightly, not quite understanding, but adjusted Jack's weight. It always took him a moment to come back to himself after he was revived. Tosh glanced down to look at him, only to find him looking away from her. His shocking blue eyes were locked on the retreating figure of their archivest.

Oh.

-Weeks Later-

"Jack, may I speak to you a moment?" Tosh asked as she moved to the open door of his office. Jack smiled and waved his hand to the desk chair, happy to get away from the agonizing problem classified as paperwork.

"Sure Tosh, what can I do for you?"

Tosh nodded and shut the door, knowing without having to look that his eyebrow had just risen to his hairline. She settled down in the chair and crossed her ankles, looking very much like a proper lady. But her face was ashen, eyes filled with concern.

"Jack, when I had Mary's necklace I heard something. I've tried to get it out of my head, but it just won't leave me."

Jack sank down in his chair, his hands clasped together as he leaned his head on them. It was his thinking pose, and it would normally make her smile, but now wasn't the time.

"Go on."

"It's Ianto."

She just barely held back her relief when Jack shot up ramrod straight, his eyes hardened with determination. Good...he did care.

"What's wrong with him?"

Tosh ran a shaking hand through her hair, her normal composure shattered. Since the incident in the park, she and Ianto had grown so much closer, but she knew, even without the necklace, that he was still in pain.

"He hurts Jack. He hurts so much for the things that he has done. He tries so hard to make up for them, doing things for us and not caring about the hurtful things we do in return. He takes the abuse because he thinks he deserves it. And no matter how many times he sacrafices himself for us, his time and dignity, it will never be enough for him. But Jack...there may come a moment in time where he won't come back to us. And I couldn't bare it if that happened..." she broke off, her eyes shining with tears. Jack sat in front of her, his eyes hooded as he took in her words. He stood up sharply and turned to the windows. She rose silently, joining him there.

Ianto was moving about the Hub, graceful and silent as he took up their trash. He only paused a moment when he came upon Jack's coat that he had inadvertedly left on the couch. His long fingers reached out, stroking the wool lightly before he brought them up to press against his lips. Tosh took in his shaky breath and closed eyes, knowing Jack was doing the same.

"We won't lose him Toshiko. I can promise you that."

-Further Observations-

The peculiar happenings were going on again, and Tosh had never been more pleased. Soft gazes across the hub. Finding any excuse to touch, fingers linking slightly as they pass each other or walk side by side. Holding hands briefly as coffe cups were exchanged. A light caress on a shoulder when they leaned over paperwork. And on one rainy, cold day in Cardif, a memory was created for Tosh that she would look back on with fondness, even in those dark last moments when her breath came out in agonizing pants and her blood seeped through her fingers.

In front of everyone, including a dumbstruck medic and a jealous ex-cop, Jack took Ianto into his arms and without hesitation pressed a kiss to his gaping lips. There was no prompting, not reason for it. Jack just wanted to kiss him. And the beaming smile Ianto gave him lit up the room, and her heart.

-Final Conclusion-

She smiled through the pain, tears falling silently as she remembered better times. Times before Gray, before her comm went silent after Owen's last gasp of breath. Her body shuddered as her heart broke for the man she loved. But even as her breathing turned to soft pants and her eyelids shook with the effort of keeping open, the smile stayed on her face. Gwen had her Rhys, and her Ianto had Jack. They would be okay, after she was gone.

"Tosh, oh God Tosh stay with us! Gwen, I need you!"

Her head lolled back, her body slack as she glanced at Jack. He was worried, fear in his eyes as he gazed back. Her smile widened, her body numb and cold. Gwen had pricked her with something, but she couldn't really feel it. She couldn't feel much of 'anything anymore. One last breath...one last movement...and Ianto crept into her vision. Her best friend leaned against the wall, his hands clenched over his mouth, trying to silence his cries. He never took his eyes off her's even as her strength failed. He was the last thing...


"Come on Tosh, time to go."

"Is it really?"

"Yeah...we never did have that date. Who says we can't have it now?"

"Thank you Owen, that sounds lovely."

In the end...she knew she did good.


"Okay, so if you're seeing this, it means, I'm well...dead. Hope it was impressive. Not crossing the road or an insident with a toaster. I just wanted to say...it's okay. It really is. Jack...you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilites. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen...you never knew. I love you. All of you. And...I hope I did good." ~Toshiko Sato "Exit Wounds"

The End

I haven't written anything in a while, and after I got addicted to Torchwood I became so inspired! So this was my tribute to Toshiko Sato, along with Ianto and Jack. Hope you enjoyed it!

RemusGirl21