Life After Death
This is an Extension of Jing Mei's story line in the Season 11 episode, Twas the Night. This is also a set up for my story "Life's Connections".
They carried her father to the ambulance that would take his body to the mortuary.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Pratt asked.
She nodded her head "yeah, yeah. I can do this."
"Okay, I'll call you later." Pratt gave her a quick hug and left.
She was alone in the house she grew up in. The parents that raised her there were gone. She ran her hand along the hospital bed her father had spent his last moments in. The IV pole, the monitor. Somehow, touching these things brought his presence back into the room with her. She missed him already. She was alone, very alone. Cold. Numb. Tired. Nauseated. Overwhelmed.
She stared at the Christmas Tree in the far corner of the room. The lights twinkled. The ornaments were pretty. But it held no loveliness in her sight. Her world had gone dark, still and lifeless. She pondered the road ahead. There were funeral arrangements to make, a burial next to her mother, relatives in China that needed to be notified, a myriad of business enterprises, real estate holdings and other assorted investments her parents were involved with both here and in China. In her grief, she didn't know where she'd find her strength to deal with it all.
She sat alone, silent and motionless, until the doorbell rang. Pulling herself together, she went to answer the door. "John" it was a whisper of voice, she hadn't the physical or emotional strength to manage anything more.
Carter walked into the entryway. He looked around noting the empty hospital bed and quiet equipment. "Listen, I heard" he said in sympathy. She nodded and walked slowly, head down, into the grand room. Carter followed her.
He clasped her hand in his. "Deb, I'm very sorry". She silently nodded. She tried to keep her emotions in check, but her grief was too great. Tears welled up in her eyes before spilling over and running down her cheeks. Carter put his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest. Letting loose her emotions, she cried uncontrollably.
Carter tried to console her. "Shhhh shhhh shhhh…it's okay…your father is in a better place now. He doesn't feel any pain. He's with your mom."
Still sobbing, she admitted "I pushed 40cc potassium into his IV".
"What?"
She nodded, tears rolling down her face. "My father was a proud and honorable man. He didn't want to be in diapers, being taken care of like a baby. He didn't want to live like that. Whenever he had a lucid moment, he would beg me to do it. I just couldn't do it and I couldn't do it and I couldn't do it. But it got to a point where I just couldn't bear to see my father like that, begging me for his dignity. I had no other way to give it to him".
Carter stroked her hair, her head still resting against his chest. "Shhhh, shhhhh, shhh. You did what he couldn't do for himself. Sometimes, preserving the dignity of someone who feels that strongly about it is the most loving, compassionate and humane thing you can do."
Her guilt abated for the moment, but there was no reprieve from her sense of sorrow and loss.
In a while, she was able to pull herself together enough to go to the mortuary and make the arrangements. She was grateful for his presence; the strength he lent her. It was very sweet of him to take time out of his own Christmas, and time away from his new girlfriend to do this for her.
Arriving at her home, Carter asked "Can I drive you to the airport tomorrow night?"
She nodded. "Thanks John."
He reached over and patted her hand sympathetically. "You need me to stay?"
"Um, it's okay. I'll be alright. I've taken you away from…"
"Wendell" Carter finished for her.
"Wendell. I've taken you away from Wendell. You should go, enjoy the evening with her. It's Christmas."
"Hell of a time for you to be alone" Carter stated.
Trying her best to put on a brave front she told him "I've got to pack tonight. Tomorrow I've got to see my Dad's lawyer. Make arrangements for their house. Call relatives. I've got enough to keep me busy. I'll be okay."
"Okay. I'll be here tomorrow at 6" Carter said. Reaching over with his hand, he pulled her head towards him just a bit and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "Bye".
The next day went by in a blur. Numbly she completed her self appointed tasks. Carter showed up at 6pm sharp. He met her at her door. She gave him a meek smile. Silently, he picked up her bags and put them in the back of his jeep. Silently, they drove to the airport. She found the silence oddly comforting. She knew John understood her pain and loss. His simple presence somehow eased the pain she was feeling even as the grief beared down hard on her soul.
Arriving at the airport, he walked with her to ticketing, helped her with her bags and talked to the ticketing agent for her. The clerk handed her the boarding pass for her one way flight to China. Carter walked her up to the security check area. He stuffed his hands in his pockets "So, when are you coming back?"
"I don't know" she said softly.
"Call me when you get there?"
She nodded.
"Take care of yourself."
She nodded again, fighting back the tears.
"And if gets to be too much, I'm just a phone call away".
She swallowed hard as the tears regained their stronghold. Carter wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He whispered in her ear, "call me" before releasing her from his hold. Tears streaming down her face, she made her way through security and onto the plane.
She didn't know it at the time, but there was life after death. She carried it with her, even now.