It had occurred to Lucy that she should stop sleeping with Mina. A cold bed could chill her ardor often as not. But one with Mina in it, even when all she did was dream the dreams of the innocent, suffused Lucy with warmth for days at a time. It kept her warm when the looks and gossip fell upon her; even burnt her like a hot ember when she was with a male suitor and thought that Mina's kisses would not be so clumsy, Mina's touch would not fall on unfeeling skin.
This was, perhaps, the reason she kept doing it, like an addict returning to his laudanum. She knew that Mina did not wish to shape the affection between them into the form Lucy would have. When Mina asked to share a bed, it was Lucy's unspoken wish for company that her giving personality responded to. And Lucy could not help but ask without words, time and time again.
She slept so soundly beside Mina. Although never directed at her, she had heard comments of how monstrous her sex could be when it turned away from the norm. If people knew for a fact of her proclivities, even poorly Harker would look down upon her. But despite all the accumulated wisdom and all the masses of similar opinion, it felt right to have her arms upon Lucy. Mina could name so many systems of the body, but did she have a name for a biology that lived in two halves, that could only properly breathe, pump blood, live when those separated bodies came together?
Did she think Jonathan was that, and not a parasite?
One night, Lucy woke from the dreams she could never remember. Although she was always well-rested in the morning, she tended to flicker in and out of consciousness throughout the night. As if her eyes couldn't stay shut when Mina was there to look upon. Sometimes it seemed like Lucy spent years, half-asleep and watching the stir of breath from Mina's perfect lips. Perhaps that was how she caught the subtle difference.
Tonight, Mina's lips were parted, her breath whistling through them fast and hot. Lucy felt wakefulness steal through her body. She propped her head up on her hand, watching the change in Mina's beautiful face. Every little expression was like seeing a new season conquer a garden.
Then Lucy saw flowers bloom. The gloss of sweat on Mina's brow, the red luster on her pale cheeks, the teeth that crept over her lips to bite and worry. She deduced the signs over and over again, like she was double-checking an answer in primary school. The result her brain gave her, repeatedly gave her, was unbelievable. It could not even happen in her wildest dreams.
Mina was inflamed. Whatever nighttime fancy had gripped her, it was one of lust. Lucy could see the heat of it shimmering off her skin, smell its sweet perfume and see how Mina's legs rubbed together, trying to kindle sparks. All Lucy could do was stare in wonder. How many times had she wished to see Mina's face twisted in ecstasy and hear her needful moans? She had so wanted to be the cause of Mina's pleasure, but that was nigh-impossible. Perhaps this was the best she could hope for. Not to join Mina in heaven, but to at least witness her ascension…
No, she should—she should leave. Mina was her best friend. She couldn't observe her in such a state! But then, what if she woke Mina in her flight? Imagine the mortification. No, no, that wouldn't do. Best to just… ignore her. Try to ignore her. She would finish soon. Lucy couldn't imagine, even in dreams, that Jonathan was staminal in the pleasing of women. She would just allow Mina's pleasure to pass.
If it was Jonathan whose touch she felt.
Lucy shut her eyes, to try to get back to sleep.
…how sweet Mina sounded, with her little sighs of enjoyment. How innocent and pure she was, even in the commission of lovemaking. What a naturalist she must be when it came to the bedchambers. Giggling as airily as she would approaching a dance. It must be no more than a half-step from what Mina and Lucy already did, their tickling, their embraces, their mock-wrestling and kisses that could stray to the lips but never linger.
Lucy opened her eyes. Carefully, ever so carefully, she drew the sheet back from Mina's body like she would lift the lid of a platter of sweets. How Mina's breasts heaved under the light touch of her nightgown, and how the dark vee at the apex of her legs held its many promises. If only Mina were awake enough to touch herself, how sweeter still would be the music her lips made. Perhaps… if Lucy were to help her…
No, no, out of the question. Mina was her friend, her sister, and though she had given herself to Lucy in so many ways, she had not done so as a wife to the husband. Much as Lucy might wish it so. Much as it might please Mina.
But what if she were to… to join her? To simply reach down under her own nightgown, hardly a crime that, and touch herself, her own body mind, and then she happened to just 'come along' with Mina. Would that be so wrong? It wasn't right, surely, but already the sun had risen between Lucy's legs and there was not an inch of shade to be had. Could she not enjoy the sunlight, at least? Was it any business of Mina's if she did? It would be more like… sisterly solidarity. Even in Mina's slumber, Lucy would spare her the isolation of pleasure, share with her a small measure of their sex's blessing.
No. No! It was wicked, even for Lucy, and Mina would never approve. Never countenance such a betrayal. To have her unintended pleasure used to further Lucy's corruption… it was unspeakable. Perverse. As sinful as Eve in the garden.
Lucy felt her hands trailing down her body, pressing the silk of her gown tightly to her skin. When they traveled the orbs of her breasts, she realized the hardness with which her nipples resonated. Took in the dry pleasure of their exploration. Oh, how'd they feel in the wet succor of Mina's mouth, enjoying merely the attention that Mina gave a common grape… a candy cane… a bit of juicy, rare meat…
Mina moaned, her mouth falling open as if giving voice to the same thought that had squeezed out all others from Lucy's mind. Lucy shivered and as if freed from bonds, her hands sought their way down her belly. Towards her sin. You are a villain, her mind told her, you are perverse, you are shameful, you are wrong. But the recrimination fell silent as her hands found the junction of her thighs, and the blood pounding in her ears raced to match her heart's drumming in her chest.
There was a fire between her legs. Not the mere tinderbox that a man could provoke, but a furnace raging. Mina had blown the billows, she had stuffed it with coal, she had doused it with kerosene. It raged. Oh, how it raged inside her, this fire. Lucy barely had to stroke it to make the flame blue-hot, to send its heat roaring up from the basement, to feel her whole body catch light.
Mina, she whispered within her mind, I burn for you. She saw the bliss on Mina's face, heard it in her voice, felt the final culmination approaching like electricity through a wire. And she imagined that instead of touching herself, she was touching Mina. That it was her who was bringing Mina to such noble heights. That their love brought Mina to ecstasy.
Her pleasure caught. It exploded, kegs of gunpowder she hadn't known were within her body catching fire and detonating within, destroying her. Just like that, the flames were snuffed out. She felt the water that had quenched them running upon her legs. Her own caress, and the sight of Mina, had brought her more pleasure than a thousand lovers. The guilt came with it, the horrible memory of her betrayal, but it was sweet agony. So sweet…
Mina awoke, stirred by the expulsion of breath from Lucy's lungs. Her perfection dazzled Lucy—rosy-cheeked, and her smile… angelic. Lucy smiled back weakly, the pleasure fading, the guilt rising. She hated herself, but felt Mina's love more keenly than ever.
"Lucy," Mina said, her voice a sweeter awakening than any morning songbird. "I was having the most pleasant dream. It was of you, sister."
As Mina reached over to feel Lucy's cheek—Lucy could only imagine the blush upon it—Lucy wondered if this was merely a dream spun between them.
If it was, let it never end!