She had inseminated herself easily. Everything had been done to ensure another pregnancy. Now all she had to do was wait.
Around that time she had also filed to legally change her last name to Ryan. After that she used part of her savings to buy a wedding ring to wear on her left hand, and to seal the deal, hired the best hacker she could find to create legal marriage documents citing Cortland as her husband. They would pass even the most rigorous of government inspections.
When she got the news that she was pregnant again, it brought a new sense of joy into her life. The baby anchored her in times of distress. This time, however, she would be even more careful. She took prenatal vitamins, stayed off of her feet most of the time and did everything she could to keep her child safe. She knew she couldn't handle the loss of another child again.
Her baby would live. There was no other option.
When it came time to deliver, she calmly got into a taxi and rode to the hospital. She was soon being wheeled into a delivery room that smelled of the hospital, blood, and freshly mopped floors. The fluorescent lights were bright and oppressive as she tried to fixate on something other than the contractions happening inside of her body.
The pain was tearing her up inside, but she didn't let it show. She remained stoic in her distress. She clutched the railing of her bed, covered in a sheen of sweat. Her pillow was too hot under her, and it annoyed her to no end, but she gritted her teeth and bore it.
She had chosen a natural birth. She refused a spinal block, fearing that even what seemed harmless would hurt her baby. She tried to keep telling herself that she had done the right thing, but the pain was interfering with her ability to think clearly.
The doctor came in, checked her cervix, and announced that it was time to start pushing.
She pushed, wishing forlornly that Cortland was there to hold her hand. She refused to give up until, at last, there was a cry, and the pain suddenly dissipated. The nurse put the baby in her arms and the rest of the world simply vanished around her.
The baby in her arms was perfect. The best mix of Cortland and herself. With his dark hair and her skin tone. She cuddled him, feeling Cortland's love and pride shining down on her. She was quiet and happy. The baby reached up to her. She leaned her head toward him and let his tiny hand brush up against her cheek. She was awash with the new feelings that came with motherhood.
She was so proud.
"What are you going to name him?" Asked the nurse.
"Bryce." She said quietly. Naming him Cortland would have been too obvious. She would use it as a middle name. She filled out the birth certificate before she passed out.
In her dream, Cortland stood before her, smiling a bright, megawatt smile at her. He stroked her cheek, and she leaned into his heavenly, addictive touch.
"I'm so proud of you, my dove." He whispered.
She smiled and put her hands on his face, gently pulling him into a kiss.
"I love you so much, baby." She leaned into his chest.
His arms were around her. It was complete bliss.
"Take care of our baby." He whispered into her ear.
"I will. Don't worry." She swore.
He sat down, and she made her way into his lap, leaning into him.
They looked up at the sky and named constellations that were in the stars above them.
She told him about the nursery she built, how she arranged the stars on the ceiling to make the constellations. She told him everything about the baby, and he smiled, stroking her hair.
"I will love you both forever." He promised.
"I know." She sighed. "I wish you could be with us."
"I'm always with you." He promised. "My beautiful wife."
She held onto him, afraid to let go.
"I miss you so much." A tear leaked down her cheek.
"I miss you too."
They held close, just enjoying being together. He looked down at her.
"I have to go now. I was only allowed to see you for a little while."
"Will I see you again?"
"Of course, my darling. But for now I have to go."
"I love you." She whispered, kissing his forehead.
"I love you too." He kissed her lips, and then he was gone.
Slowly, her eyes opened, and she felt lighter somehow. As if she had been carrying a hundred pound weight and it had finally been cast off of her.
She stayed in the hospital for two more days before she and Bryce Cortland Ryan were allowed to go home. She cuddled her son happily. A piece of her perfect Cortland was born into the world. She knew she was going to be an amazing mother. She didn't have any parental figures to speak of. Her parents had passed suddenly when she was eighteen in a car accident.
However, she never forgot their love story.
They had met in high school. Both sets of parents opposed their union, but they didn't care. On the night of her mother's eighteenth birthday they eloped together, fleeing Atlanta, Georgia to Lower Caanan, Ohio, where she was born two years later. They seemingly had the perfect marriage, never fighting or quarreling. There was only love and affection. Because of them, she believed in true love. Because of them, she believed in soulmates.
She fed her son, singing to him softly as she cradled him in her arms. She kissed his forehead with the softness and tenderness that only a mother could have. When he fell asleep, she kept holding him, worried if she let him go that somehow something awful would happen and her inner peace would be shattered. She stopped singing when she was certain he was asleep, and reluctantly put him in his crib. While he slept, she made herself a sandwich to eat.
When she finished, she decided to write to Cortland. Despite his death, she still wrote him letters for something as elaborate as declaring her undying love for him, to something as little as telling him about her day. She got out paper and a pen, and went out on her back porch. She took a pitcher of lemonade and a baby monitor out with her in case her son woke up.
In contrast to the usual gloom in the Ohio sky, it was a bright day. The view of the sun was unobstructed and cheery. It was a perfect day to be outdoors.
She had a small glass table with two chairs and a swing on her back porch. She sat at the small table and poured herself a glass of lemonade to sip as she wrote her letter.
My Dearest Cortland,
Today I brought home our little bundle of joy home. Your visit in my dreams has brought me such joy. Oh how I miss you, my darling. How I wish I could hold you in my arms. You light up my world, and now that our son is in the world he will inherit your light. You are still with us, watching over us from the stars. I can feel your loving embrace in the sun that warms my face, and the warmth of my bed when I wake in the morning. When the wind blows gently through my hair, I know that is you kissing my cheek. Oh my beloved, how I love you so. You will live on immortally in my heart.
All My Love,
Your Dove
She folded up the letter, then went inside. She got a lighter from a drawer, then went back outside to burn the letter so that Cortland would receive the letter in heaven.
She went back inside after that, and shut the porch door carefully.
She went up to the nursery and sat in the rocking chair she had positioned in the corner of the room. There was a blanket draped over the back of the chair.
While he had been incarcerated, she had sent him several pictures of blankets and he had picked that one out himself. She watched her baby sleep for a long time. She was so excited to start a life with her baby. She had considered moving, but was certain that she couldn't leave the place where she had fallen in love with Cortland. He was so precious to her.
She rocked in the chair quietly, and soon fell asleep herself.
When she woke the baby was crying. She made her way over to the crib and picked him up.
"What's the matter, Angel?" She asked sweetly. She cuddled him, then went to check his diaper. After changing him and feeding him again, she walked around the house with him. "Your Daddy loves you so much." She whispered. "He's always watching over you."
He was dressed in blue footed pajamas covered in stars and a matching hat. She had wrapped him in the blanket that rested on the back of the chair, hoping to remind him of his father in some strange way.
"Welcome home, My miracle." She whispered. "It's us against the world."
The baby cooed, and she held him a bit tighter.
Night fell over Lower Caanan, and Chloe took her son out on the back porch. She looked up at the stars and was reassured that Cortland was watching over them.
"Daddy's watching over us."
She cuddled him, then began to sing.
"Angels watch over my baby,
Grant him a lifetime of your care
So that even when I can not be with him
I'll know you will always be there.
Angels watch over my baby,
Grant him a lifetime of your love
So that even when my eyes are closed
I'll know that you watch over from above.
Angels watch over my baby,
Grant him your laughter and joy.
For there is no one on earth any dearer,
to me, than my little baby boy."
By the end of the song, her baby was asleep. She got up carefully and set him in his crib before going to bed herself.