Puck had made the mistake of asking Rachel, his best friend, why girls were such complex bitches. And then, after he listened to her explain, he still didn't understand. So when Mr. Shue asked if anyone had anything they wanted to perform, he jumped up. He knew he would get slapped by probably every girl in the room, but damn, he was confused.

"I don't really have much to say to introduce this, so here it goes."

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.

I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese

I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts

I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers

And when I do drink I don't end up in tears.

I won't spend hours deciding what to wear,

I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair

And I don't go around checking my reflection

in everything shiny from every direction.

I don't whine in public and make us leave early

And when you ask why get all bitter and surly.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing

I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.

I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back

I don't carry our differences into the sack.

I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you

Or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.

I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too

I know what the time is and I know what to do.

And I honestly think it's a privilege for me

To have these two balls and stand when I pee

I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball

It's more fun than dealing with women after all

I won't cry if you figure out it's not going to work

I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.

Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure

I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see

I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery

I don't get all bitchy every 28 days

I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise

I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true

I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

When he finished, he ran out of the room, noticing that every girl except Rachel, who was cracking up, looked like they were going to kill him. The girls were up next, chasing after Puck. Mike and Matt shook their heads at their best friend and joined the other guys as they started laughing with Rachel. After a minute, Rachel stood up.

"I better go make sure they don't kill Noah." Rachel said, walking out of the room. She walked out to the parking lot and saw Puck was in his truck with the girls yelling and threatening him through the windows. Rachel shook her head and walked over. Thinking Rachel was going to chew him out, the other girls backed off, knowing Rachel would do worse than any of them could.

"You realize you're going to have to act like I was actually pissed about your performance to live, right?" Rachel said, getting into the truck.

"Consider me completely humiliated and begging for forgiveness at your feet." Puck responded, driving off.