This is a new story and I am currently in the process of continuing the story Home. Sorry I suck at keeping up with this but I was immediately inspired while listening to Lana Del Rey's Ultraviolence album to write this story. There will be much of her music from that album, Paradise and Born To Die involved in this story. Also, this is mostly, for now, from Elena's POV.

Please note that this story may have some abuse involved in it, gruesome events, sexual content, sexual abuse, swearing, psychotic events and thoughts, and just very peculiar things in general. I may have some self harm things and I will have some suicidal events. This story may be quite graphic. I apologize if you no longer are interested in reading this fanfic because of these involvements. It may sound very extreme, and is mainly authorized for a mature audience. There will be many parts of heartbreak, love, angst, drama, and nostalgia in this story. It's more of an alternative type of story so I hope you enjoy!

P.S. You DON'T have to like Lana Del Rey to read this!

Note: This does take place in Mystic Falls, Virginia when everyone was in junior year of high school.

Sleeping peacefully in all of my glory, in a flowy, mid-thigh length, white slip with lace all around it, I hear noises. I feel things, I see things. It isn't normal, any of it. But yet it's all I think about when I'm sleeping. His hands on me - all over me. My mother would've never wanted this, she would've never wanted me to be treated like the piece of meat I really and truly am. I can't take it anymore, the beatings, the leather belt slashing across my soft, olive-colored skin like a whip, turning it purple. He's a pervert, he makes me want to kill myself; and that's just what I'm going to do. I have made so many attempts, I've lost count. I just could never go all the way with it. Not when I thought about my mother, and all that she told me I had to live for. "Like what?" I would ask her. "Anything you set your mind to," she would reply, kissing my forehead and tucking me in tightly as she used to do when I was young and innocent, before she died. Now I'm just a piece of crap druggy whore, whose father beats her and threatens to kill her if she doesn't fulfil his needs. It's disgusting. And that, is why I need to kill myself. I surround myself with bad things, bad people, bad habits, so that way I could fill the void space that is my heart.

I awaken around 2:30 am and hear my uncle snoring from downstairs, meaning that he is probably passed out from being drunk. I rub my burning eyes and stretch out my aching body. Lately, I have a habit where most nights I don't fall asleep until 1 am and wake up around 4 am, only getting around three hours of sleep. Some nights, I don't even fall asleep at all. I get up gently from my bed, careful not to make much noise - my father hears everything. I walk softly on the cold, hardwood floor and into the bathroom. I look at myself and sigh - I look like I've let myself go; I look like I've already died. I rinse my face with cold water and run a slightly warm shower because my father doesn't want me to waste the hot water. I close the door gently and strip down into nothing, stepping into the shower. Shivers are sent down my already freezing body. Nothing feels warm or hot anymore compared to the burning hot feeling you get on your body after someone beats you with a leather belt.

I finish up in the shower and step out, drying off and brushing my wet hair out. I can't use a blow dryer because it's too loud for my uncle. So I let my hair air dry and I lay in my bed for another hour and a half in a loose and oversized plain white t-shirt and light yellow panties, while I read a book that my best friend since birth, Caroline Forbes got me last year for my birthday called It by Alexa Chung, about fashion and pop culture and inspirations and all of that fun stuff. I had always been interested in fashion and trends from all decades ever since I was a small child. I take after my mother in that category. I've read this book over and over again ever since it was given to me and it gets better and better each time.

By the time my now pin straight hair fully dries, it's around 5 am, which is when I usually finish getting ready and head over to the park close to school to meet up with my friend Matt Donovan, who's also been one of my best friends since birth. Every single morning he meets up with me there, other than when there's bad weather and he picks me up a block away from my house, or when he's sick, he makes Caroline or my other best friend since birth, Bonnie Bennett meet me there. He's always very protective over me, just like a big brother would be. That's what I think of him as. He keeps me in check, and even though he doesn't approve of my smoking habit and whoring around once in a while, he still loves me and helps me to overcome my obstacles.

I put a bra on that matches my panties, a black spaghetti strap tank top, an old jean jacket that was once my mother's, and some black leggings, along with black and white dirty old converse that are at least four years old. I brush my teeth quickly and brush out my now pin straight hair, pushing it behind my ears and grabbing my bag for school. I walked quietly downstairs and pass my uncle who is still snoring away. As I open the door, his snoring stops and his eyes begin to open. I squeeze my eyes shut, afraid of what will happen next.

"Where are you headed?" he questions me, as if I shouldn't be going out.

I turn around and open my eyes, putting a more calm expression on my face. "I'm just heading to school a bit early. I'm sorry for waking you up."

He scolds me for a second, before nodding his head slightly, "Right, right. Okay, then. Carry on." I begin to step through the doorway, until he calls me once more, "Elena, don't forget to clean up around here when you get back. This place looks like a shit hole. Also, I'm going away for the week and since you've been such a good little girl, I'm allowing you to stay over a friends house anytime this week. But that'll be it for a while. Just make sure you clean up or you know what will be coming." He tugs at his belt buckle, referencing to it with an evil smirk.

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, "Alright, I'll be sure to take care of that. Thank you." I finally step out into the clean air, an open world in front of me. I should just run away, but I can't - he'll find me.

I pull my jacket sleeves up over my palms and hold them there with my white fingertips. I feel violated.

I adjust my shoulders right so that way I'm standing up straight enough and try to put a smile on my face for Matt. You just can't be truly down around him. I walk down the street I used to know as my playground, the street I now know as my reckless, suicidal, sad life. I'm a sad girl, I'm a bad girl, I'm a bad girl.

Finally getting to the park, I let go of jacket sleeves and release a breath of relief because I feel safe now. I'm with Matt, and I'm sad. I run across the park to the parking lot where I see Matt in his busted up, old truck. That damned truck. He rolls down the window and I can hear everything from the outside even before it's rolled all the way down.

He smiles at me, the most pleasant look I've seen in a while, "Well, are you getting in, or not?"

"You fucking… I can't with you sometimes." I say walking up to his window and grabbing his face and giggling at him. "Damn you, I could kiss you right now!"

"Ew! Cooties from my sister?!" he yells and makes a confused but disgusted face. "Get in."

I kiss his forehead and run around to the other side, getting in. "Thank you for playing Lana for me. I very much appreciate that. I needed it." He grabs me by my waist and pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me and placing his chin on the top of my head, hugging me tight.

"Anytime, sis." He squeezes me tight for a couple more seconds before letting me go and handing me an apple and some coffee. "It's all I could get this morning. I was running late getting here and something was telling me that you didn't want to wait for me this morning. I have a turkey and american sandwich and some pretzels in the backseat and Care said that she's bringing you some grapes," he told me with a small reassuring smile.

I returned the smile and nodded, "Thank you so much, Matt - for everything. You have been so giving and so helpful and I know that I can be a real handful sometimes - well, a lot - but you have really been there for me for the past couple years and I could not thank you enough. All of you guys, but you especially." He hugs me again and I roll my eyes jokingly, yet not wanting to let go of his safe and welcoming embrace.

"Anything you need, Elena. I'm here," he reminds me, letting go and pulling out of the parking lot. I take and bite of my apple and smile, happy to eat real, nutritious food; happy to be free, for now.

We pull in the school parking lot shortly after, and little by little it starts to fill up with more people. Matt parks the car and I finish eating my apple, chucking it out the little crack in the window.

Matt looks over at me, raising his eyebrows. "Hey Mr Litter Police, it's biodegradable," I argue before he can get a word out. He laughs, shaking his head.

"You sure are something, Elena." I nod and smile big, a proud look on my face. I am proud when I'm around Matt. He brings out the best in me, and thats a pretty large talent to hold.

We sit in the parking lot talking and listening to Lana Del Rey's angelic voice for the next half an hour until we see Bonnie's car pull up next to Matt's truck. I roll down the window all the way and cross my eyes. She looks up from her purse and begins dying laughing, before getting out of the car and standing in front of my window, "Someone's in a good mood, and someone plus a bunch of other people are about to have their day made." Matt and I look at each other with a curious look on our faces while Bonnie opens her backseat doors, pulling out something round and big. "I've got CUPCAKES," she yells excitedly and I jump out of the truck, running over to her, kissing her head repeatedly.

"BONNIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH," I reply, while Matt gets out of the truck laughing and trying to pull me off of her.

Bonnie raises her eyebrows and giggles, hugging her cupcake container, "Jesus, Elena, are you trying to kill me?" She opens the container and gives me one and my next facial expression is very satisfying, "Happy, crazy?"

"Very," I reply, before Caroline runs up behind Matt, hugging him from behind.

"Guess who?" she asks him.

He furrows his brow sarcastically and pretends to think hard about the question. "Hmm… lemme see… Tyler?" I almost choke on my cupcake and shake my head. "Caroline," he answers correctly, turning around and kissing her in a prince-like manor. Him and Caroline have been dating for two months now and despite her annoying control-freakiness, everything has been going pretty well for them, and I'm quite happy for them. She pulls back from him and gives him a giants smile, before looking over at Bonnie and I.

"Want a cupcake?..." Bonnie asks her fake awkwardly. I look down and laugh, finishing my cupcake.

Caroline looks back at Matt with a smirk, licking her lips, "I have something sweet and delicious on my breakfast menu already, but since you asked…" She walks over to Bonnie and grabs a cupcake, taking a bite. "Nothing like a cupcake made by Bonnie Bennett," she says handing one to Matt.

"Mmm, it's that true," I reply, still in delicious cupcake land. Bonnie smiles proudly and closes the container, happy that he cupcakes were good as always.

Caroline and Matt finish their cupcakes as a red 1963 Porsche 356B Karmann Coupe pulls into the lot next to Bonnie's car. Bonnie and I look over at Caroline and Matt with confused looks as we all wonder whose old fashioned, but sick looking car that is. "Have you ever seen that car before? Because it looks foreign to anything I've ever seen in this town," Caroline asks us. Bonnie and Matt shake their heads as I, being the inquisitive and mischievous girl I am, turn around and walk over to Bonnie car, lean on it, and wait for the person to come out of the mysterious outcast car. I watch a someone opens the drivers side door and steps out.

He has a black leather jacket and blue skinny jeans on, along with a white T-shirt and black boots. He wears black sunglasses and he has sandy colored fluffy hair, that has been perfectly placed on top on his head and looks like a hairdresser sent by the lord himself has cut it. His tan skin and muscles send me drooping to the ground, as I feel as if I'm melting into the Earth's core. He looks like a greaser from the 1950s. He is truly beautiful.

"What kind of god-like creature…" I hear Bonnie murmur under her breath and I completely agree with her. No human could come even close to as breathtakingly handsome as him.

I feel my face becoming hot and I finally get awakened to reality. I move my head away from his gaze quickly and place my palms onto the car for balance, letting out a giant breath that felt like it had been sitting in my lungs for forever. He stares at me for a long second before turning away from me and walking toward the school building. On his way, he nods and smiles at my group of drooling friends (yes, evening including Matt.) I slowly turn around and look at them and put my palm onto my forehead, checking my body heat. "Jesus Christ," I whisper, closing my eyes and replaying the intense moment in my head. Caroline and Bonnie smile at each other while Matt furrows his brow, confused by the whole moment. He knew what had happened, he just didn't really understand it, like the rest of them, but he expressed his confusion different.

I open my eyes and swallow yet another lump in my throat. What an experience. Caroline and Bonnie run up to me and grin immensely. "Did you see how he looked at you? Elena… that guy was so hot, oh my god!" Bonnie asked me.

I knit my eyebrows together and walk past them, "Um… I need a cigarette." I quickly walk over to the side of the school and pull out my Marlboros, one of my mixed emotion remedies. I grab a cigarette from the pack and place it between my lips, sitting down against the building and trying to find my lighter. "Shit!" I yell under my breath, not being able to spot my lighter in my bag.

"I take it you're in need of a lighter?" I hear a husky but friendly sounding man's voice coming from above me. I look away from my bag and see a pair of expensive black boots. My eyes follow his body up until I'm looking into his beautiful green eyes. He holds a steel vintage lighter in front of my face. I look down at it and then look up at him with my big, innocent, brown, doe eyes. He smiles and me before kneeling down and clicking open the lighter, lighting my cigarette. I inhale deeply before placing the cigarette in between my pointer and middle finger and exhaling the smoke into his face. I can see him slightly breathing in the smoke and a calming expression appearing on his face. He pulls out a pack of Marlboros from his bag and takes out a cigarette, lighting it. I study his features for a moment before he asks me if he could sit down next to me, "May I?" I nod and he sits down against the wall.

He and I take a drag at the same time and I look over at him while doing so. "How come I've never seen you here before? What's your name?" I ask him, wondering the same thing as everyone else.

He chuckles raises his eyebrows, taking another drag, "Well, my name is Stefan Salvatore and the reason that you haven't seen me here before is because I'm new to Mystic Falls. I'm originally from Seattle, where my parents raised my brother and I." He paused for a second and it is now his turn to study my features. One thing I notice about him is that he doesn't look at my boobs and my ass and my figure like most guys do; or maybe he does, but he does a good job at hiding it. He seems different, and I am intrigued by that. "What's your name, angel?"

I look straight in front of me and smile to myself. "I like your forwardness. It's very… cute," I reply looking over at him with a small grin and my head tilted. He bends his knee, turning toward me and resting his elbow on it, taking yet another drag of his cigarette. "Elena Gilbert, pleased to meet such a greaser like yourself."

He chuckles at my reference back to a certain type of people from the fifties and sixties, "You're cute yourself, Elena." I raise my eyebrows and look down, trying to hide my blush. He takes one last drag from his cigarette before flicking the butt onto the ground and smooshing it with his boot. He then turns back toward me, putting his pointer and middle fingertips underneath my chin and lifting up my head. My eyes follow up to his and I stare deeply into the pools of emerald before me. God, is he gorgeous.

You were like, tall, tan, drivin' around the city

Flirtin' with the girls like, "You're so pretty."

Just as I'm about to say something, the school bell rings and Stefan smiles over at me, getting up. I grab my bag and prepare to get up, when I see Stefan's hand out in front of me. I grab it and he pulls me up and I nod as a gesture to thank him. "Well, see you around, Elena. Nice meeting you."

I smile in the friendliest way possible, resisting the awfully compelling urge to make out with him and rip his clothes off right here and right now. He returns the smile and I reply, "Okay, you too." Jesus, I sound like a freaking hypnotized fool right in front of him, but in the moment, I could give two shits.

ALL RIGHTS TO CHARACTERS GO TO L.J. SMITH, JULIE PLEC, KEVIN WILLIAMSON, AND CAROLINE DRIES.