Welcome To My Life
If I told you she's a freak, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
It sounds harsh, granted. But it's the truth.
Ever since I can remember, Lucy Weasley has been following me around, crushing on me, writing my name and hers together on her Transfiguration notebook. I know this because I saw them. I'm one of those guys at the top of the social network, one who could have any girl in Hogwarts at the drop of a hat.
Which is precisely why I wouldn't waste my time on her.
Any guy would feel flattered to have some 'girl attention'. But there comes a point when that 'attention' crosses the line and becomes downright scary. True, Lucy hasn't killed all my ex-girlfriends yet or anything like that, but ... learning my timetable by heart and then using that information to lust after me when I walk to third period Charms really does get annoying after a while.
Lorcan, my best friend, thinks the whole thing is a bit of a joke really.
"She loves you," he'd mock, in the middle of the Great Hall at lunch. I'd laugh, feeling pissed off at Lucy for ruining my reputation like this.
"As if," I'd scorn, reaching for some chicken - a dish that suddenly became Lucy's favourite after about five minutes of me talking to Lorcan about it in her first year - and being painfully aware of her eyes watching my every move from the Slytherin table.
"I expect you're right," Lorcan would say way too loudly, giving a fake sigh and watching Lucy too. "I mean," he'd say, standing up once he knew Lucy had cottoned on to the fact he was talking about her, and he mimed a vulgar thrusting gesture in her direction, "you'd only go out with her for what comes afterwards, know what I mean?"
I'd burst out laughing, focusing back on my food. But not before chancing a sly glance in Lucy's direction, watching her eyes fill with tears as she looked down at her empty plate.
I'm not proud of it, you know, the way Lorcan and I made fun of her. But she was annoying, and after all, it was no hairs off my chest the way she got upset over some stupid crush.
Speaking of my chest, if there are any Ravenclaw girls out there who are single ... or even not ... my chest is very well-built. Just sayin'.
"Be nice," Victoire would snap. She's my eldest sister, also a Hufflepuff, and even though she's beautiful the only boy she likes is Ted Lupin, a fellow Hufflepuff who doesn't even know she exists. I hate girls like that - girls like Lucy - who have childish crushes on guys but don't have the guts to do anything about it. It gets on my nerves.
"Yeah, whatever, Vic," I'd sigh, eyeing one of her pretty friends with interest - a look that was also returned, might I add.
"I'm serious," my sister would say patronisingly. "Louis, you're really mean to her, you know."
I'd shrug.
"I just do what I gotta do," I'd grin lazily, slapping Lorcan a high-five.
Victoire would narrow her gray eyes, but say no more about it. After all, she knows all too well what it's like on both sides of the story.
"God, she is so annoying," I breathed, sitting in the library with Lorcan. We weren't revising - as if - but there was a gang of pretty Gryffindor girls, including Lily Potter, who had ventured up to the library a while back; and me and Lorcan were now taking bets on who would get off with whom.
"Who is?" he said, his blonde hair flopping over his pale eyes as he swung back on his chair.
"Lucy," I growled, pointing towards a bookshelf. Sure enough, a pair of blue eyes were peeking out from between stacks of outdated issues of Transfiguration Weekly.
"Just get rid of her," Lorcan sighed, as fed up as I was with Lucy's constant stalking. I considered this for a moment.
"You know what," I said, standing up and catching the attention of Lily's group of Gryffindor girls, "I might just go and do that."
"I love you!" Lucy cried, grabbing the front of my jumper in frustration. I stared at her, edging a careful few centimetres away from her towards the Restricted Section.
"Well, I don't love you."
"But why?" she sobbed, actually stomping her foot in anger. "Why, Louis?"
I adjusted my collar nervously, wishing I could just fast-forward this whole scenario to go and chat to the Gryffindor girls.
"I don't know," I said slowly, not really listening. "I just don't."
"Look!" Lucy yelled with anguish, rolling up her shirt sleeves to show me a hastily carved word written into her arm. I squinted at it.
"What does it say - Louuuuuuu - Oh. It's my name!"
"Yes, it's your name," said Lucy tragically, pulling her sleeves back down again.
"That's sick." I stared at her, disgusted with her. "You carved my name into your arm? Why? Because you knew I'd never love you?"
Lucy bit her lip, a slow blush creeping up her face.
"Really?" I yelled. "Grow up, Lucy!"
I stalked off, leaving her there alone, her face stained with tear tracks.
"She carved my name into her arm," I relayed to my friends the next day in Herbology. We were sharing the class with the Gryffindors, so it was an ample opportunity for me to refresh Lorcan, Lysander, James and the Weasley twins on all the latest Lucy developments.
"Ew," said Lysander, wrinkling his nose as he cut up a few Mandrake roots. He was a Gryffindor like the others, and Lorcan's twin brother.
"I know!"
"I think she needs to grow up a bit," advised Roxanne, battling a Venomous Tentacula with James and Fred.
"That's what I told her," I said, taking off my gloves and sitting down on the floor with Lorcan. "I wish she'd just leave me alone."
"Tell me about it," grumbled Lorcan. He took all the same classes as me, so he was an expert on Lucy's little moments.
"If only she would ..." I sighed wistfully, dreaming of the day that Lucy would finally leave me alone.
My friends all murmured their agreement, one by one getting back to their Herbology work.
Not me, however. I stayed sitting on that floor, thinking about Lucy.
"It's probably my fault ... Lucy would never do anything like that if I had been a better sister to her."
I stopped, frozen at the first mention of Lucy's name, halfway down the corridor to the Great Hall. I looked around.
Molly, Lucy's older sister, was standing against the wall with Victoire. Both of them had serious expressions upon their faces, Molly was looking really pained, and as I watched, Victoire spoke up.
"It wouldn't have been you," she said carefully. "You were lovely to each other. No, I think it's my brother's fault ..."
I took a sharp intake of breath, turning away so they wouldn't recognize me.
"Who, Louis?"
"Yes. You know how much Lucy had a crush on him."
"The whole school knew," said Molly softly.
"Exactly. And that little scene in the library didn't help her confidence at all. Remember what Lily told you?"
"Every word."
Wait, what had Lily told Molly? And why did they keep using the past tense when talking about Lucy? Maybe she'd finally grown up and gotten over me. I smiled widely, alarming a first-year boy who was walking past. But I didn't care: Lucy getting over me could be the best thing to ever happen to -
"I still don't think she should have done what she did."
"Do you think she'll get better?"
I choked.
"What?" I cried, spinning round, my heart in my throat. Molly clutched her heart dramatically, both girls staring at me. "What did Lucy do?"
Victoire surveyed me for a moment, taking in every aspect of my appearance.
"You actually care?" She sneered slightly, he pale nose wrinkling with disgust.
"I don't know." It was the most honest answer I could give. It depended on what Lucy had done - despite her mad crush on me she was still my cousin, still family.
Molly nodded slowly.
"Lou, I think you'd better follow me."
I exchanged a look with my sister, and she also nodded after a moment's hesitation. I followed the two girls back up the staircase, none of us speaking, the thick tension weighing us down as we climbed higher and higher. We reached the hospital wing, and Molly paused as her hand rested on the doorknob. She faltered for a minute, as though she was going to say something, but must have decided against it as she pushed open the heavy oak doors.
The first thing I saw was the blood.
"Oh my ..." I stared at Lucy's pale figure in a hospital bed, the view spinning dizzily before my eyes. "What ... what ..."
Victoire touched my shoulder lightly, bringing me back down to earth.
"Louis, I'm sure she'll be fine."
I looked at my eldest sister, desperately wanting to believe her. But Victoire's voice shook and I saw her give a frightened glance in Molly's direction.
"What about – what about Lucy's parents? Aren't they here?"
Molly nodded jerkily; a forced gesture.
"They're speaking to the Headmistress." Her voice wavered and her deep brown eyes filled with tears. "They – they –"
She cut off, giving a loud sob and throwing her arms around Victoire's neck. My sister patted her on the back clumsily, trying to speak to me over Molly's head.
"They don't think she's going to make it," Victoire whispered. "She's already lost a lot of blood – Lucy was found too late, Louis."
"What did she do?"
Victoire mimed a slashing movement over her wrists, grimacing silently. My breath caught in my throat.
This had got to stop. Lucy couldn't keep being so melodramatic over me. This – had gone too far.
"Miss Weasley."
The three of us looked around to see the source of the voice – the Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, had entered the hospital wing.
"Yes?" said Victoire and Molly together. Victoire blushed delicately once she realised McGonagall was talking to the other.
"A Healer is due to arrive any second now. Hopefully they can see what's going to happen to your sister."
Molly's eyebrows drew together; McGonagall gave a curt nod and sat down beside Lucy. After a moment, Molly, and then Victoire and I, did the same.
"What's happening?" Molly demanded, as soon as Healer Fawcett exited the hospital wing. We had been asked to wait outside – only McGonagall was allowed in while the Healer delivered either hopeful or grave news.
"You're her sister." Healer Fawcett stared pensively at Molly. It was not a question, but she nodded anyway. "Lucy has lost a lot of blood – too much blood."
Molly gave a whimper, and Victoire slipped her hand into her cousin's trembling one. I surveyed Healer Fawcett coldly.
"So?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. I was sure Lucy would get better – Weasleys are fighters, after all. A little blood loss was nothing – Lorcan and I had had more injuries than we could possibly count.
"So she –" Fawcett faltered. I stared at him; Victoire watched Molly. "She's not made it."
Molly gasped and crumpled to the floor. Victoire crouched down beside her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
"Why?" I found myself asking.
But that was not, as Fawcett interpreted it to be, a question about blood loss and depth of cuts and the like. It was a question about why Lucy – my younger cousin – would be driven to do such a thing.
But even as a spoke, I knew the answer. And as the Healer rattled on, giving an ignored lecture about the dangers of suicidal teenagers, all I could think about was Lucy.
And me.
It was my fault. I killed Lucy Weasley.
[A/N] It's not very well written, because I was really tired when I wrote this and just wanted to get the idea down on paper before I lost my creativity flow (you know what I mean, right?). Reviews would be greatly appreciated - that little blue button is your friend - and I will accept criticism, as long as it's not too harsh.
NOTE: Louis is not bothered that Lucy likes him because of the fact they're cousins. It's not illegal in England for cousins to get together. He's bothered because they're family, and despite her obsession he still loves her in a way. Just not in the way Lucy needs.