I do not own One Piece
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Beta read by the wonderful rose7anne101 and MasterQwertster, be sure to check out their own stories! Also thanks to Thisisarealtagwhy for their help in writing this.
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March on Oda
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Chapter 1: Initiate Operation: No More
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Warning, contains spoilers for One Piece chapter 900
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Out of respect of privacy, all pennames are gender neutral.
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...burnt and tattered, the Jolly Roger of the Straw Hat Pirates floated on the water, while the wreck of the Thousand Sunny burned. There was no sign of life for the crew.
"Thank you," cheered Big Mom with love.
And then there was nothing else except:
ONE PIECE WILL BE ON BREAK NEXT WEEK.
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Unknown Location
The figure sat in the shadows as he considered the words on the screen from reading the latest chapter of One Piece. A massive cliffhanger that left the impression Luffy and his nakama were dead, and it had all been for nothing. Puzzling the audience with questions, theories, and concerns, and then you were faced with the last message.
The individual in front of the screen closed their eyes.
They had seen the signs for the last few years, and wished they were wrong. But it had finally come to this.
Taking a deep breath, they let it out, and got to work. Logging onto under their penname, 'Black' Victor Cachat, they quickly sent a PM to their friend (and partner of crime) more commonly known on the site as rose7anne101.
'Black' Victor Cachat: {{Did you see the latest chapter?}}
After sending the message, they turned their attention to the stock market, knowing they would need more money for what was to follow. Besides, rose7anne101 lived on the other side of the world, and was likely sleeping.
A few hours later, rose7anne101 answered back.
rose7anne101: {{Yes I did. I know they CANT be dead, but now we have to wait two weeks to find out what happened! D-:}}
A reply came promptly. {{I agree. But enough is enough.}}
There was a noticeable delay. {{So we're really doing it?}}
'Black' Victor Cachat: {{Yes. Initiate Operation: No More. I will send the relevant banking information shortly. Withdraw whatever sums at your discretion.}}
rose7anne101: {{There are times I wonder if you are Batman. Then I remind myself that you WANT people to think you are Batman because you find that amusing (wait second does that make me Alfred or Robin? I object).}}
Deftly sidestepping the question, 'Black' Victor Cachat simply said: {{I am a sexy, billionaire, philanthropist, why can't I be Batman?}}
rose7anne101: {{Don't think I didn't see what you did there. Aren't you trying to do a Tony Stark here? Batman has some humility! Either way, you are one of those three traits I'm sure X-P}}
'Black' Victor Cachat: {{Well, we'll be meeting in the flesh soon for you to find out ;-P}}
rose7anne101: {{Yes indeed. See you in a few days, Blacky!}}
The figure relaxed in his chair. It was done. There was no going back now.
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Across the world, a specific text popped up on screens on their own volition.
One Piece forum boards suddenly had one message at the top of every discussion.
PMs, Facebook posts, E-mails, etcetera, spanned the globe.
All reading the same message: Initiate Operation: No More.
If you are a true One Piece fan. Then no more was needed to be said.
You dreaded this day as much as you understood its necessity.
You were ready.
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Japan
The first hint Japanese customs had that something was wrong was when every single plane inbound was booked full, with a sudden massive influx of private charters coming in as well. Another clue was the sudden upswing in ships from the neighbouring nations that were carrying passengers from the Phillipines, China, Russia, North America, South America, and even Europe.
Of course, that just meant no revenue, so they did not see any harm in it. Even then, it took all of those men and women a while to realize that 95% of the newcomers, spread across various terminals and entryways into the city of Tokyo, clearly expected each other. Moreover, were gathering into a massive group, with a mingling of cultures that would have been unimaginable a few decades ago.
After all, many of them were dressed up in their national outfits, or according to stereotypes.
Men and woman in traditional Serbian and Russian uniforms smiled and hugged Indians and Chinese in their own cultural garments. Despite language barriers, they enthusiastically worked to communicate with each other, sometimes doing a chain of translations to get a single sentence across.
It was indeed a beautiful sight for international progress. However, they were not the ones who had started to worry the Japanese officials. No, there were others to do that.
A prime example was the Canadians in their hockey jerseys, who were laying their hockey sticks across their laps and pulling out portable freezers that held…blood packs. Was a blood donation organized in the terminal?
"Are you really Canadians?" asked one nervous American teen. His 'northern cousins' were not acting all friendly and loving right now. In fact, they were all grimly pouring the blood over the ends of their hockey sticks. Weren't the Americans the bloody savages, and the Canadians the polite, peaceful ones? As in, can't hurt fly even if they wanted to?
"Of course we're Canadians," a burly man with a distinctive English accent said, hefting his already dyed hockey stick, twice as thick as anything the American had seen. …How'd they get those past security? the teen wondered. And the blood?!
"But's with the hockey sticks?" he asked, getting more nervous by the second.
"Proof of adulthood," the Canadian proudly explained. "In Canada, you are not an adult until you've killed a bull moose with your Hockey stick. Those that do it barehanded are sent right to the NHL. Sorry, National Hockey League."
The American was half sure they were putting him on. They are kidding, right? …I bet it was Canada who started the stories they can't hurt a fly, just to make people underestimate them.
Suddenly a terrifying racket split the air, and they whirled around to a marching line of even burlier men with fiery orange hair and kilts. They were a head taller than anyone else in the airport, with claymores on their backs, and playing bagpipes.
Following them was a line of individuals of both genders wearing cowboy and cowgirl outfits, conversing with those dressed as First Nations/Indians.
"…Never mind."
One British national, warmly bundled up in jeans, a hoody, and bulky coat, was indignantly glaring at his countrymen who were marching around in red military uniforms, with the accompanying black fur hat. Even worse –to his eyes—were the ones going around in fancy black suits or dresses, sipping tea and offering people crumpets and biscuits, all the while punctuating their sentences with "Wot, wot." Or worse, smiling their oh so sincere smiles, and saying "lovely" between sips.
Beret wearing Frenchmen waved fake baguettes of doom, while Italians taunted people with fake pizzas. Or the latter went around dressed as Roman gladiators, and tormented people by asking aloud, "Have you seen our lion?"
They did not have one, although the Spaniards dressed as matadors claimed their bulls killed it.
Chinese of both genders walked around in fancy long-robes, while pretending to know kung-fu.
Egyptian mummies walked around with their arms raised and moaning, while being jealous of their fellows who were more imaginative and dressed up as the ancient Egyptian gods.
(Some of them were enjoying themselves by dressing up as the Stargate Sg-1 versions of said Egyptian gods, claiming they were more "historically accurate").
Germans in lederhosen's danced around, swigging back tankards of non-alcoholic beer (there were children nearby, no need to start an international incident).
Mexicans competed against Koreans in dance-offs, while Brazilians dribbled their soccer balls and called out encouragement.
Off to the side, the Australians were having a pleasant chat with some of the Japanese who had been waiting for them at the airport. The man and his friends could have stepped out of a 'Crocodile Dundee' flic, telling of their adventures back home.
"Mate, I'm telling you, you gotta beware of them drop-bears." Swathed in the skins of crocodiles and cotton, his rabbit-skin cork hat dangling in front of his eyes, the supposedly Australian man said to the wide-eyed Japanese who was wondering if he had missed anything in his English classes.
Most disturbing was the live snake around his neck, slowly slithering its way around his shoulders and neck. "Is that... safe?" One of their guides asked as they looked at the snake, clearly worried it was dangerous.
The Australian cast a smile, "He's as harmless as a fly unless ya provoke him; the venom could kill you in half hour or so."
His companion turns to the other teens, a matching grin slighting his face, "Now, like I was sayin', if you ever do come to Australia, I gotta warn you bout drop-bears, they're as deadly as a grizzly bear. One moment you're walkin' about and suddenly." He pauses for dramatic effect. "Claws are sinking into your shoulders and there's blood everywhere! I was walkin my kangaroo with my mate Blonde John when one dropped down onto us, thank the lucky stars we had our hunting knives or we woulda been done fa."
"Do you really ride kangaroos everywhere?"
"Of course! I keep tellin' ya, they're the best mode of transport, better than any bloody car. Crickeys, I remember my first kangaroo, I called him Joey and rode him everywhere. Shame he died..."
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Hotel building well into Tokyo
"Any problems?" the individual still only known 'Black' Victor Cachat asked his 'generals.'
"All smooth!" Rose7anne101 reported with a mocking salute in accented English. "All the other groups are converging in Japan, so all good there. And if anyone runs into a language barrier with each other, they just hold up a picture of the last page of chapter 900, and everyone gets angry again. Angry in a good, united way I mean."
"Good, good," 'Black' Victor Cachat nodded as they turned to look out the hotel room window, taking in the sight of the Shonen Jump building. Soon, Eiichirō Oda would be checking in there for his daily shift.
Unbeknownst to the ringleader, his dramatic viewing of their target also gave his 'loyal' friends and companions a look at the note on his back that said: "No, I'm NOT Batman."
Rose7anne101 was especially trying to kill their giggling fit.
"You know," murmured Rose7anne101 while hiding their mouth behind their hand, "if I knew I would ever use my pen name in in covert operation to change the world as we know it, I would have chosen something way cooler.
"Something like… I Rock it better than Chris Rock on steroids," mused Rose7anne10 while ignoring the exasperated sigh from NOT Batman. "Or… Don't be stupid, stupid … hmm or something iconic like One Piece Exists… "
'Black' Victor Cachat snorted, shaking his head while Rose7anne101 pointed at them and remarked, "You could have gone with I am the one and only True Batman. Or THE Batman for short. (Imagine how the story would have gone instead)."
"It will fit me just right. But I prefer to be inconspicuous."
"Riiight! I guess we should call you Humble and Gracious instead of Blacky."
'Black' Victor Cachat shrugged, giving the room a knowing smile.
Still, there was no denying that 'Blacky' had sunk a vast fortune into this enterprise. Granted, they were all confident that any one of them would had done the same if they could.
What? 'Black' Victor Cachat was perfectly sincere about being a billionaire. Although organizing for tens of thousands of fans to appear in Japan from worldwide in only a few days had probably knocked them back to being a 'mere' millionaire.
"Any news from MasterQwertster?" 'Black' Victor Cachat asked.
"No," and now Rose7anne101 looked concerned. "Are you sure about them? None of us have ever really met them before," –even the 'generals' had only met in-person yesterday— "and they might be convinced to betray us for sneak peeks of One Piece. Or maybe bribed by Oda promising them a bigger role for Brook? I mean I would like to think that I would be strong in the face of such temptation, but I don't know…"
'Black' Victor Cachat snorted. "No, don't worry. We can trust Qwertster. Probably."
Under his breath 'Black' Victor Cachat added, "I think."
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For the tenth time MasterQwertster considered their options. As an American learning to speak and write Japanese within the homeland of One Piece, they had been ideally placed for 'Black' Victor Cachat to use them as a mole. A few well-placed bribes, and MasterQwerester was now one of the many individuals working on translating One Piece into English for Shonen Jump.
A very, very junior assistant, who spent half their time being sent to get coffee, but that was all part of 'Black' I-Am-Batman Victor Cachat's plan. After all, such a 'minor' position gave MasterQwertster the excuse to wander through the building a lot. Perfect for placing cell phone jammers and cutting the landlines.
Still, the temptation was there to warn Oda to make a deal so he would have time to escape. If only to use it to leverage 'Soul King' Brook receiving a greater, even more awesome role. Not that the Soul King was not awesome enough. Because that would be blasphemy to even imply.
After another moment of thought, MasterQwertster shook their head, and sent a confirmation text to their online friend, and activated the jammers.
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'Black' Victor Cachat glanced at the text message, and then nodded to another of their closest internet friends. "Let's begin. Send the message."
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Every cell phone in Tokyo rang, then sent a series of images across the screens. First it was kanji for "ONE PIECE WILL BE ON BREAK NEXT WEEK," and then it was spelled out in English. Then Mandarin. Then…
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In the thousands and growing, Japanese citizens marched out their doors to march to a certain building. They had been waiting for ages, and now their foreign brothers and sisters of manga were ready.
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Across Japan all of those newcomers to Japan were in motion too. Those who had dressed up in cultural gear largely remained as they were, while just about everyone else started stripping off their clothes.
Oh relax. They had costumes on underneath, or changed in designated facilities.
Customs officials looked on in dawning comprehension as they saw all the arrivals wearing distinctive One Piece costumes.
Costumes of every quality and of every character.
Line-ups of Warlords. Members of the Worst Generation. Countless versions of the Straw Hat Pirates.
There were incidents of course.
One 'Doflamingo' was being too creepy around some Trafalgar D. Law's, leading to a fight breaking out until a bunch of Shanks came over and brought about peace.
(There are some things you just respect).
The Ace cosplayers were dancing loudly to "Sexy and I Know It," as lots of hot guys and gals danced with their shirts off—the ladies had short sports bras to avoid a) being arrested for public indecency before everything started, and b) to avoid a stampede of gawkers. Of course, they still looked super-hot as they showed off their abs. Other shirtless cosplayers tried to join in, except the 'Ace's' were adamant that if you did not have six-pack abs of your own, they forced your shirt back on you. 'Realism' or something like that.
Then there was the issue that the main doors out of the main airport were jammed up because of the crowds blocking them as they ooh-ed and awed over how several family friends had dressed up their children as chibi versions of the Straw Hats. And then there were the babies…
Even the little toddlers in skeleton costumes were just too adorable for words. Puppies and small dogs of every color, as kind and cute as Chopper, and dressed like him too.
One man even swore up and down that he saw a reindeer with blue nose running around.
It was also a fulltime job keeping the shippers from getting into catfights over who was 'Luffy's True Love.'
(It was not the other contestants were opposed to catfights between women dressed up as One Piece women, it was just that they were on a schedule before the cops figured out what was going on, and really no one wanted the Boa Hancocks and the Bartolomeos to meet! *Shudder* ).
The yaoi shipper friends got along much more amicably, and their arguments over who was the perfect couple were much more civilized. Well, except those who worshipped Zoro/Sanji, but they did not count.
That one idiot who dressed up as Akainu was nearly lynched before he managed to ditch his costume without being seen.
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"Oh come on," Rose7anne101 groaned. "We knew there would be issues having so many fans together like this."
"Yeah, but not like this!" snapped 'Black' Victor Cachat. "Don't you see what they are doing!?"
"Yes, yes," Rose7anne101 said in a tone that failed to be placating. "A bunch of guys dressed as Crocodile have formed a cabal claiming credit for this 'brilliant' plan. In case you've forgotten, what we're planning is illegal! Let them take the fall!"
'Black' Victor Cachat folded his arms sullenly.
"Oh put a sock in it," Rose7anne101 said with growing exasperation. "Just let your ego go, Mr. inconspicuous."
"Never!"
Deciding they were out of alternatives, Rose7anne101 bopped their friend on the head. "Are we sure you're not really Tony Stark? Or some sort of clone of his, except enhanced with even more ego?"
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Humming 'Binks' Brew,' MasterQwertster made their way to a lower floor where they could be lost amongst all the other junior employees. Best to hide in the crowd when everything went down.
They had left no incriminating fingerprints, and all the passwords used belonged to their superiors (mostly the jerks at that). So if 'Black' Victor Cachat's crazy plan worked, then all was good. If it failed, then Qwertster's scapegoats would take the fall, and they would advance up the company, leaving them in a better place to influence One Piece's development for the better.
And by better, that meant more Brook scenes. More art, more music, and most definitely more Skull jokes. The world needed more skull jokes.
Perfectly timed, as soon as MasterQwertster was in place, alarms started to ring, and the building went into lockdown.
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Customs had called the police only minutes before the huge sea of humans marched out their doors from all over Tokyo. By the time the squad of police cars had reached the front of the largest wave, it had been swelled by their fellow citizens coming to join. In the dozens, local men and women were joining up with the foreigners, and both their numbers were only growing…
Thousands upon thousands of One Piece fans. In danger of reaching millions if it continued to grow, with all the consequences thereof.
"What is this!?" snapped the senior police officer.
"Oh! So it's today!" gasped someone else.
Slowly the officer in charge turned to his longtime friend. "What?" he flatly demanded.
"Uhm, right. Y'see, it's this big One Piece…get-together…? And yeah, I thought it was tomorrow."
"So then why are they marching right down the street, halting traffic, and waving billboards for!?" was the icy response.
"Hey, some of those are in other languages," another officer with good eyesight said. "But the ones in Japanese all say: One Piece will be on break next week." Then all the police stop, and look behind them to see a certain office building emblazoned with the logo: Shonen Jump.
"Ohhhh…"
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With a contented sigh, Eiichirō Oda took another sip of his tea before putting the cup down. He had work to do.
His desk was covered with yesterday's work finalizing his design for the rest of Kaidou's top lieutenants, the Disasters. He had finished the second of the three last night after accidentally working late –his assistants who were supposed to stop him had gotten caught up in their own tasks— and he was hoping to finish the last one today. Fortunately, Oda already had a general idea of what he wanted, and was confident he would be done a little early today.
Still, he had to make this perfect. Almost everything since Fishman Island had been building up to the Wano Arc, and he had promised his readers that it would be even better than Marineford. He was going to blow them away with how awesome it was, because they deserved only the best. He couldn't wait to see the reaction of the fans.
That was when one of his assistants who had been on a bathroom break ran in. Seeing his panicked expression, a concerned Oda stood up as his friend and co-worker was wildly looking about before focusing on his boss. "There's alarms ringing downstairs! The building's gone into some kind of lockdown, and none of the phones are working!"
Murmurs of concern broke out, and another of Oda's assistants went to the windows to open the blinds –it just occurring to everyone that it was strange that none of the junior staff had opened them earlier— to get a better look, and that was the point when they all took in the unimaginably large mob marching straight towards them.
"Oh dear…" Oda muttered.
~~To Be Continued Next Week!~~
Author Notes:
According to the Australian who wrote that bit, drop-bears do not really exist. Probably.
There are probably some real life inaccuracies here, especially since I have never been to Japan (such as how Oda is more likely to have his own private studio), but oh well.
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Please Review, and I will get back to you!