A/N: ok, so this is my first fanfic! Please read and review, and tell me if I'm doing something really badly or if I screwed up somewhere! I don't have a beta (none of my friends are into kuroshitsuji ;A;), so all of this would be really helpful! Also, there will be more characters later on, because it's not meant to be lizzie-centric! Ciel and Sebastian will be making an appearance, don't worry~!
Pairing: Mostly one sided Lizzie/Ciel, and maybe a bit of SebaCiel! ^_~ i haven't decided yet
August 26th, 1889.
Elizabeth Middleford will never forget the day.
She'll never forgive herself for that day, either. She found it strange that her usually serious fiancee, who went out of his way to dismiss her attempts to cheer him up, had asked her to dance, but she chose to not say a word, quietly accepting his offer. She now realizes she should have asked; about his new demeanor, about his clothes, about why suddenly his ring didn't matter, about-
About those eyes.
Elizabeth didn't know what to make of those eyes; doesn't know what they mean or even why they are like that, and so they haunt her in her dreams.
But, she thinks, that is irrelevant now. She plays with the card in her hands- that memorial card telling her the date and of her apparently now late fiancee, and watches out the window of her carriage. Her clothes are various shades of gray and black, in mourning of him, undoubtedly, and even her normally bright features and attitude are dulled down to almost a gray version of their original selves.
The carriage slows to a stop as it turns the corner to the Phantomhive manor. Paula jumps off from the front of the carriage and opens the door for her charge. "How long do you think you will be?"
Elizabeth barely looks at her in the eyes. "I just need to-" She pauses on her words for a second. Long enough to sigh, quietly, and then she continues, "I just need to say goodbye." She climbs down by herself and smiles weakly at her. Even now, she doesn't want her attendant to worry. "I don't think I'll be here for very long. Would it be alright if I went in alone?"
Paula nods once, but the young lady had already made her way up the Phantomhive steps.
She paces herself back and forth in front of his door. Would Sebastian still be around, even if Ciel was gone? And what of the other servants he had around, that little Elizabeth had always found somewhat endearing in spite of their clumsiness and, as her mother gently puts it, "overall uselessness".
It's strange, isn't it? to be afraid of knocking on her fiancee's door.
And yet she does, somewhat, after a lot of pacing, fretting, needless worrying, and even a glance back at where her carriage and Paula await her. Somewhat, being that she only manages an awkward few taps.
The door eventually opens, the blonde gardener- who's name escapes Lizzie at the moment- sheepishly peeps out through the open crack. "Ah!" He gasps, "M-Miss Elizabeth!" And the door opens wide. The boy offers a wide smile. It droops at the corners, and Elizabeth notes the sadness in his eyes. "U-um, Young Master hasn't come back yet."
Lizzie offers a small smile in return. "I... I know." He moves out of the way to let her in, and she notices Ciel's red-head maid quietly fidgeting by a lower hallway. She gives a short bow of acknowledgment to the visitor, yet chooses not to come closer. Elizabeth looks at her and back at the gardener, and quietly- just barely loud enough that they could hear, asks, "Do you think he's really gone?"
Neither outright answer; the boy loudly sniffles and the maid tightens her hold on her apron.
Elizabeth looks away, and switches questions. "Would it be alright if I walked around the mansion..?" She hesitates with her question. She avoids wording her request to the servants the same way she had to Paula; the events were slowly sinking into Lizzie's mind, and it all seemed too surreal for her to digest.
The servants trade looks. "I.. I guess." The gardener says, and Lizzie makes her way up the stairs.
She notes that without.. him around, the house has an.. old smell that invades her senses and gives one the feeling of overwhelming pressure. Of course, the scent was still there when Ciel was still... ... (Lizzie makes sure to avoid the word, avoid the thought, and move on), but she had thought of it as more of a musty smell that she could so easily do away with. Now, she refuses to change anything, as if that will lessen the chances of the mansion's owner returning.
Elizabeth hesitates as she comes to each room, not in any particular order: the ballroom, the dining room, the guest bedroom she had always been assigned to. She notices this as she enters the parlor; it's as if she's afraid she'll interrupt some memory that was better left alone. She laughs, quietly, at her silliness. What would Ciel say about her hesitating?
She dares not even enter her fiancee's bedroom and gingerly walks past the doorway without looking back- a sign of respect, if you will, to grant him privacy in there even after his.. disappearance.
Upon reaching the study, the last room, Elizabeth shivers. The room has an odd sense of foreboding, and Lizzie isn't quite sure it's all her imagination. She touches the book shelves around the room lightly, ghosting her fingers over the edges as her eyes skim over the books. Nothing here was anything she ever heard of; were these all for Ciel's tutoring, or had he collected these sorts of books out of interest?
She circles around the edges of the room, brushing her fingers against it all- just in case it might somehow not be real and everything fades away from her- until she lands at his desk. For the first time in as long as she can remember, there's not a single paper on top. For the first time in as long as she can remember, she doesn't feel any hatred for the inanimate object for keeping her beloved busy and away from her.
It wasn't a possessive type of nature, to hate his work and wish for him to be near her instead, but more of a type of loneliness. Elizabeth doesn't regret her irrational hatred or childish actions; it's hard to be whisked away to your fiancee's house, only for him to leave you behind in favor of the company.
A thought crosses her mind; was the desk cleaned after Ciel's leaving, or was it another clue that he was going to leave in the first place? Like how he danced with her the evening before he left; it was a clear sign that he knew what was to come.
She opens a drawer to her right, still thinking, and finds everything still there; had she really expected his things to be already cleaned out? His pens, the letter stamp, and other various knick-knacks, all organized neatly. She closes it and moves down the right side of the desk, opening the drawer below it.
There's paperwork in this one, probably once important to have safe and keep around. And yet it means nothing to the young noble girl, and so she closes it and moves on.
The bottom drawer is messy, littered with what Lizzie think Ciel would have regarded as 'junk'. There are more papers in this drawer, scattered about and unorganized, a ring, unrecognizable to Elizabeth, with the Phantomhive crest on it, and-
Something catches her eye, and she instinctively reaches out to grab it- only to pull her hand away at first contact. It's has a slimy and rotting texture, as if someone had attempted to save it with the worst preservatives in all of London.
What bothered her more than that, though, was what she realized the actual thing was. There was no doubt at all in her mind that it was a paw of some sort. She gulps down her fear and reaches out, again, to grab it. Why would Ciel have an animal's paw in his drawer? And, more importantly, why did it give off such a strange feeling? There was something entirely off about it, from the way that it simply looked- all twisted and gnarled in on itself-, to the way that Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to put it down.
Lizzie runs her finger over it, holding back a shudder as she does so, and then, after another long hesitation, places it back where she found it. Perhaps it was some sort of gift from another country? Elizabeth barely knew anything of India; what if it had been some sort of gift from there?
She closes the drawer and stands up from the desk. She hadn't come to snoop around in her fiancee's business, and she frowns at her actions as she heads to leave the study. She had come to say goodbye, right? What was in his desk was rightfully none of her business.
She can't bring herself to leave, though. She stops at the doorway and glances over at her shoulder.
Five minutes later, she's heading back down the hallway of the Phantomhive manor, the paw in her pocket.
Perhaps it's just a gift from a foreign friend, but, she thinks, what if it's more?
A/N: again, please leave a review if you liked it or if you found something wrong! I'll give you free cookies if you do!