Oh my God. He's hurt so bad; he may even die, thanks to my stupidity. I knew that where that damned cat was, Haggar couldn't be far behind. I fucking KNEW that, and ran off on my own anyway. I heard Sven yelling at me not to go alone, heard him running after me, but I didn't wait for him. All I could think of was catching the damned cat. Instead, Haggar caught ME. It was so fucking ridiculous. She threw this net over me, like I was a fish, for God's sake, and just stood there, pulling me in. How the hell can the old bitch be so strong? Doesn't matter; she was. All my struggling didn't do a damned bit of good. Until Sven showed up with that sword of his and cut me loose.
Stupidity has no limits; I should have stayed to help him fight; called the rest of the guys on the COM. But no, I had to run off and leave him all on his own fighting that bitch. When I came back with Keith. . . oh God. I've seen a lot of bad things in my life; top of the list, no question, is Sven lying in that square, struggling to breathe, with his blood pooling around him. We thought he was dying right there; and yet his only thought was to warn us that Haggar had a new, powerful Robeast.
I don't know how Sven's still alive, but he is. We're waiting for the transport to take him to Ebb; Keith couldn't stay with him; he's pacing in front of the Castle. I. . .I couldn't leave him. Call it my punishment. I'm the reason he's hurt; I don't get to walk away, bad as I want to. He's on oxygen, and they've given him a painkiller; neither one is doing shit for him. He's fighting to breathe almost as badly as he was in the square, and I can see the pain in his face. Pain I put there.
It should be me lying there. I'm the reckless one. Not Sven. He's the calmest, steadiest of us all, in and out of the sky. He's the rock our team's built on. He doesn't deserve this.
"Lance." His voice is distorted with pain and weakness, but it's still him. I look down to see him watching me with those blue eyes, concern warring with pain. "Lance . . . promise me. Promise you . . . won't blame yourself. My choice . . . not your fault. Promise me. . ."
He passes out before I can answer, which is a good thing. I've never lied to him or Keith, and I don't want to start now. But, to make that promise, I would have to lie.