The Game

by Tall n' handsome

Once Master Hand takes a vacation, Crazy Hand forces all of the smashers to participate in a (somewhat spooky [not really]) competition! Separated into unlikely teams, the smashers have to get along and work together for the ultimate prize! The prize is infinite power and control for a day! Who will take the victory? (Chapters fixed to apply season as neutral.)

1. Teams 1-5

As the warm days drew nearer, the mansion overcame unspoken fear. For the summer party was coming close, smashers began to heat up their roast. There would be a nice celebration. The mansion was accepting food without hesitation. It would be a nice day for them, and Master Hand would take a vacation for him. Crazy would watch over the mansion while he was gone. The smashers were sure that their lives were surely done. With Crazy in charge and a party tomorrow, Lucas was filled with uncontained sorrow. He hated social things. People targeted him. For what is a party without such attempts? Glory! Glory! Crazy Hand announced, as he forced everyone to do it old style. They had to dress up as monsters and ghost and be guile. Things were going okay until Crazy started to think. He twitched and turned and tried to even blink. He shouted with joy, for he had the perfect plan. How bad could it be? As bad as it can.

"Yo! Robin! Wait up!" Shulk ran up to him. Robin looked up. He had been studying a book that Marth handed him. 'Just take it!' he said. So Robin took it.

"Hey. What's up?" he looked up.

"Did you hear the news?"

"What news? Kirby learned to talk?"

Shulk frowned. "No. Not yet anyway. Crazy Hand is in charge and he's forcing everyone to dress up for for tomorrow's party! Can you believe it!?" Shulk waved his hands around.

"What? You're joking right? It's a Summer party, why would we need to dress up!?"

"Nope. But hey! It can't be that bad! We'll be just like kids again!"

"I didn't know you when I was a kid…"

"Yeah, but remember that time we snuck into Master Hand's office and drank that weird potion? Then we got-"

"We were turned tiny. Yeah. Not the same thing. Got any plans?"

"Nah. I was just going to stay in my room and watch TV. Not a big fan for the holidays."

"Don't be like that. You can come with me and Lucina when we go out."

"Oh? A date?"

"No! It's just a, 'Friendly Lunch'. You can tag along if you want to. Afterwards, we'll meet up with Link and Zelda."

"Sooo, a double date? I'll bring flowers!" he pressed. Robin waved him off. "I'm just joking."

"Shulk?"

"What?"

"Shut the hell up." Robin opened the double doors leading into the mansion. He checked in at the front desk. Then Shulk checked in. They began to walk upstairs. They passed up Little Mac and Captain Falcon who seemed to be arguing.

"Man, I hope they don't kill each other." Shulk whispered.

"Anyways, if you're done with your joking, you can come with me and Lucina. Afterwards, we'll meet up with Link and Zelda. Then we're all heading down to the movie theatre - put your hand down. Then we'll head back here and play some games. Hang out with Ike, Roy, Corrin, Kamui, and Marth. So, you coming?" Robin asked. Shulk had been nodding his head the entire time.

"Sounds pretty fun. I guess I'll come too-" He was interrupted by a loud rumbling.

"Oh shit…" he whispered. "I'll see you around." Shulk pulled out his Monado and changed it to speed. They waited. Bowser turned the corner. Shulk sped down the hall. They dodged left and right to avoid crashing into things.

"Look, I'm sorry! It was an accident!" Shulk screamed. But Bowser wasn't having it. Shulk jumped down all of the stairs in one go. Robin had seen it all.

"I'm not even going to ask." The alarm bell rang. The bell that signaled emergency. Red lights flashed on and off.

"Oh no! Crazy didn't get candy again did he?" Robin sprinted down the hall and down all 4 flights of stairs, into the auditorium. AKA, the big room. Nearly everyone else was there. Crazy floated on the stage. Once everyone was present, the alarms stopped. The smashers took their seats. Robin sat in between Lucina and Shulk, who was sitting as far away from Bowser as possible. Crazy took the microphone.

"HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME!? IS THIS THING ON!?" The microphone was way too loud. One of the staff women turned it down.

"Ah. Much better! Greetings! You may know me as 'The Big Cheese' but you can call me Crazy!" A distant voice in the audience shouted 'You're crazy!'. Crazy snapped his fingers and lightning zapped Little Mac. He fell out of his chair.

"...ANYWAYS...I've obviously called you in here for a reason. Tomorrow is the ultimate party! I have something special planned! You do not attend if you don't want to, but just know that it's a surprise! Also, it's mandatory!"

"You just said we didn't have to attend…" Sheik said raising her hand. Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and lightning zapped her. She fell out of her chair and climbed back into it. "Fucking jackass…" she whispered under her breath.

"The event for tomorrow is a secret, so don't tell anyone!...Now, here's what we're doing tomorrow! Just so you know, it might take a LONG while! My bro said not to do anything crazy, but let's be honest...I'M CRAZY!" Another voice from the audience yelled 'I knew it!'. Crazy snapped his fingers. Lightning zapped Little Mac again and he fell to the floor.

"The event is...I'll tell you tomorrow! Dismissed! WAIT! One last thing, if anyone refuses to participate, then you'll be used for a different...experiment…" A voice from the audience said 'What experiment? How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Toot-' Crazy snapped his fingers. Little Mac was fried by more lightning.

"DISMISSED!"

Disappointment soaked several smashers. But hey! It ain't that bad! Well, that's what Shulk kept saying. Always glass half full. Much else didn't happen that day.

THE NEXT DAY…

It all started off quite normal, in fact, Crazy made it quite formal. Samus drank coffee normally, in an orange mug. Rosalina was elsewhere, giving out free hugs. Rosalina ate with very much class, but Dark Pit kept slapping Peach's ass. Soon enough he went flying into a wall, while people noticed that Bayonetta was too damn tall. Then things started to go wrong. The event bell started to go DING DONG! Everyone hurried outside. Little Mac was slower because he was still fried. Everyone gathered on the mansion's front yard. Wario was last because he is just lard. Don't get me wrong, he's a pretty strong guy. Just saying he doesn't have flaws would be a lie. (Speed up the pace!) Things were gettin' pretty rowdy, smashers were anxious! Nobody was left except for staff in the mansion! They all lined up in front of Crazy Hand, he said, "You're all here this is just too grand! Time for the rules, listen up people! This kind of challenge isn't for the feeble! You're going through a game and whoever wins, gets to rule for a day and you get pigskins! This opportunity only comes once so you gotta be fast! Don't be slow, you don't wanna get last! Nothing more to be said, quick get in groups!" They ran around, acting like nincompoops. The event was almost ready and things were almost steady. They were in groups and ones they liked too. Crazy didn't like it, he wanted something more fun. So he split everyone up and the groups were re-done. He snapped his fingers and they teleported elsewhere. Where you ask? Where else? The fair? Somewhere dark and somewhere spooky. Somewhere that's truly quite loopy.

It was a dark and creepy place. Even being outside of the actual place was scary. Lucas shivered. Luckily, Ike agreed to help him through this.

"Okay! Let's get into groups! I'll use the random button!" Crazy announced.

"Uh, Crazy. If I may offer advice…" Rosalina said with her hand raised. Crazy sat still and listened. "If you were going to choose our teams now, why did you ask us to do that before? My point is, it would be better to only have us do it once rather than twice. Now, the first time was pointless." she said.

Crazy sat still and contemplated what she said. "Makes sense. Nothing we can do about it now. RANDOMIZE!" Crazy slammed his fist on the random button and it shattered into pieces. "...Whoops. Don't tell my bro about that. It was his. Let's try that again…" Crazy took out a bunch of cards, each with a smasher on one. He shuffled, then pulled out the cards by two's. A screen poofed out of nowhere, showing the teams. Each one popped up and the teams were already named.

"Okay everyone! The teams have been set! See who you're with on the board, then get together! We don't have all day, so get your behinds moving!" They all scrambled, finding their partners.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Shulk exclaimed when he found out he was with Bowser. 'Insistent Flames', that was their team name. Bowser laughed and walked over.

"Allow me to explain the rules. Listen up now, because this is important." Crazy said in a broad voice.

"The object of the game is to try to get through this haunted and challenge filled area as fast as you can. First off is Level 1. Level 1 is the easiest and only used to get boosters for the next five levels. There are six levels in all. As I said, Level 1 is only to get power-ups and boosters. Afterwards, the challenges get harder. For every challenge, the two slowest teams get eliminated. On the fifth challenge, the slowest five teams get eliminated. Level 6, two more teams will be eliminated. Then is our free-for-all round. All teams will be broken up. The remaining participants will duke it out fighting through an obstacle course that's spooky themed despite it being party time soon. It will be a race. You may attack anyone competing, even your old partners. Whoever reaches the end first OR is the last person standing wins the game. Any question?" Little Mac raised his hand.

"Are the Level's going to be different?"

"Yes. That was a stupid question…" Nobody else raised their hands.

"Good. Are you ready to play?"

"YES!"

Crazy was super excited and the Staffman that was brought along slowly calmed him down. "Alright, to start off we're going to have team...Galactic Wings go first! Kamui, Rosalina, please step onto the blue pad." The two stepped forward and onto the giant, blue painted spot on the floor. It had scratch marks and handprints on it. It also had the words 'MURDER' on it. Rosalina and Kamui faced each other.

"Well, I don't think I've seen you before. Hello, my name is Rosalina. It's great to be partners." Rosalina stuck her hand out. Kamui's face was especially red.

"H-hi. My name is Kamui. It's also nice to meet you…" She shook Rosalina's hand.

"Oh hello! My name is Mr. Propper! Nice to meet you! Let's sit down for a nice cup of tea! Wanna watch a documentary!?" Ike shouted. Rosalina flashed him a threatening look.

"Well, Mr. Propper, you'd best keep your comments to yourself or you'll drop down the tier list." That shut him up. Marth nudged him. "She's going to kick your ass in the finale." he laughed.

Crazy Hand started the countdown. Rosalina and Kamui were back-to-back.

"3"

"2"

"1"

"DIE."

The blue pad zapped them out of sight. A large screen came down from the air, and there, you could see them and their time.

Kamui was tied up in a pitch black room. She had tape on her mouth. What is this? A kidnapping? She thought to herself. A voice sounded out of nowhere.

"Kamui. You need to untie yourself and free Rosalina. Do you understand? You must untie yourself and free Rosalina." She shook her head. Her hands were bound by ropes and she was tied to a chair. She wiggled her left hand. Loose. She wiggled some more and quickly got her hands free. She tore the tape off of her mouth. Ouch. Duck Tape. She then cut the ropes clean in half. Now, all she had to do was get the lights on so she could see.

"Nice job." the voice sounded. "Now get to Rosalina."

"Where is she? It's too dark to see anything." The voice didn't come back. The smashers watched her on the screen. 2 minutes.

"She got untied fast." Fox said. The camera in the room had night vision, so they could see everything she did.

"What does she have to do again?"

"I think she needs to find Rosalina. But it's dark in there, so she'll have to feel along the walls." Kamui bent down.

"What is she doing?"

"I dunno. She looks totally lost." While the smashers were talking Crazy Hand came over.

"Hey, I just thought of something useful! For the smashers who can't communicate in English…" Crazy snapped his fingers. Every non-english speaking smasher had little red dots on them.

"GOOEY BOMB!" Falco jumped into the air.

"No, it's a translator. Duck Hunt, say hello." Crazy corrected.

"HELLO." The bland voice said. It was a man's voice who spoke in only one tone. At least they could all talk now.

"Hey guys, I think Kamui figured it out." Corrin said, pointing to the screen. Kamui was feeling along the walls. She found a gap and went through it. The camera angle changed, showing her walking down a hall. She squeezed through a narrow gap in the wall to a open room. There was a dim light in the corner. It showed a light switch…

Kamui walked over to the switch. It was still really dark and there was a dim light and a switch next to it.

"It's way too dark in here." she said as she approached the switch. There were distant screams everywhere. Like someone suffering. People suffering. Kamui shook the thoughts out of her head.

"LET THERE BE LIGHT!" she said and flipped the switch, the room lit up instantly and a wall blew up, sending maggots everywhere.

"What the-eww. Aww, this was a good shirt…" Her shirt had splotches of who knows what on it, leaving red and brown stains. It ruined the white T-shirt and blue jeans.

"Way to go. What are you waiting for? Get Rosalina and get to the Bonus room!" Kamui ran into the hole that got blown open. Inside was an even larger room and a horrible smell.

"Ugh! It smells like wet gym socks!" Kamui said, scrunching up her face. Rosalina was in the middle of the room in a glass box. There was a lock on the door and three keyholes. There was eight keys on the walls, all different shapes. Rosalina looked up and knocked on the glass. It was sound proof, so you couldn't hear her. The keys were hung up high, and some were covered in things that were slimy. A loud radio was in the corner and it boomed out a loud voice.

"FINALLY! Guess what!? You've made it to the suffer chamber. Your challenge is you have to-"

"Yeah yeah. I get it. Get the keys and unlock the door. Simple enough." Kamui interrupted. She ran and grabbed the key nearest to her and stuck it into one of the locks. There was a blast of lightning and Rosalina was electrocuted. Kamui quickly pulled the key out of the lock and jumped back.

"Tsk tsk. I tried to explain it to ya. It's not that easy. First, you must get the right key for the right lock. Then, you must find which lock is the right one. Once you have all three of the correct locks and keys, you must unlock them in order or pretty little space princess gets shocked. Understand?" the voice barked.

"Y-yeah. I understand." Rosalina's hair stood up and she had her hand on her right eye. She brushed her bang back down and it covered her eye again.

"Rosalina, are you okay?" She nodded yes, then pointed to the ceiling. There was another key. Her pillowy lips moved, but no sound came out. Maybe she wanted her to grab that key...Then, there was the voice again.

"Your challenge starts in 3..2…-"

"I'm getting a Hellevator vibe from this." Kamui said.

"1...GO!" Kamui sprung into action. She went for the top key first, since Rosalina pointed to that one. She ignored the rope hanging down. I'll just fly up there!" she thought. Her wings extended and she flew (kinda). There was a loud crackling sound; the sound of electricity. The sound of Rosalina getting shocked again. The radio voice let out a cackle.

"Tsk tsk. No cheating. Well you can, but Rosalina will have to endure the pain, that is." Kamui cursed herself as she grabbed the rope and climbed. It was easy, they did say it was easy. She got that key. Hey, while I'm up here, she decided, let's just grab that other key. I can jump down and get it. Kamui jumped from the rope with the key in her hand and grabbed another key in the far corner of the room on her way down. 3 keys. 5 more to go. She ran over to Rosalina's prison. She didn't look comfortable.

"Hmph. You managed to find the three correct keys on the first try. Lucky guess. But you'll never figure out which goes to which and in which order! Hahahaha!" Kamui stuck all the keys in different locks, twisted, and opened up the glass door. The radio went silent.

"Did-Did you...Did you just guess those?"

"Yeah. Guess luck is on my side."
"There were over 10,000 possibilities! How did you manage- ya know what? It doesn't matter." A hidden door swung open.

"Just get to the bonus room. You have thirty seconds to grab as much as you can and step on the blue pad in there. I need to go think about what just happened…" The radio clicked off.

Rosalina stepped out while combing her hair down with her hand. "Well done Kamui! You did fantastic." she said. Kamui went all red.

"L-let's just keep moving…"

Link's jaw was dropped. "Did she seriously just guess that!?"

"It seems so. I'm surprised myself. But the faster they move, the closer we get to our turn, no?" Bayonetta said. Link and Bayonetta were teammates and their Team name was 'Time Warp'. Kind of clever, kind of irritating.

"Why does Kamui keep blushing when Rosalina speaks to her? She's usually pretty smug." Ike said.

Marth tapped on his shoulder. "Do you think that maybe…?"

"Nah, at least, I don't think so. Guess we'll have to find out." Ike said with his eyes closed. Everyone was hushed for a second.

"FIFTY BUCKS SHE'S A LESBIAN!" Marth said with the money in his hands.

"You're on!" Fox yelled.

"Guys, she's not a les-"

"I'm in on that bet! Fifty dollars she's straight!" Captain Falcon said with a smile crossing his lips.

"Guys, seriously, she's not-"

"Alright then. I'm in. Fifty she's got a thing for Rosalina." Falco said. There was that bland male voice again.

"I AM IN ON THE BET. SHE IS NOT A LESBIAN." Mr. Game&Watch said.

Bayonetta spoke up too. "She's probably not even interested. That's my bet." Link looked up at her.

"You're in on this nonsense too!?" he choked.

"Just watch child."

Samus' eyebrow twitched.

"Okay, how do you even find out if she's gay or not!? Didn't think that far did you?" she said through clenched teeth. Marth flicked his hair.

"Oh, but of course I did! If she doesn't fall for me, then she has to love women!" he laughed triumphantly.

"Wait, why the hell is it you!? Who WOULD fall for you!?" Ike yelled. Marth glared at him.

"Well, obviously I have the most charm out of everyone here, am I right?"

"Like hell you do!" Roy said. "Even Ganondorf has more charm than you!" he laughed. Ganondorf struck a small pose.

"Fucking idiots…" Samus mumbled and walked away. Marth and Roy were still at each other's throats. "So you wanna play it that way huh!?" Marth said. "Do I need to bring up your female underwear!? How you wear them because they're more, 'comfortable'?" Marth smiled. Roy was taken aback.

"That was a low blow! Besides, it started off as a prank, then I realized what a blessing it was. Do I need to remind you of your sissy crown!? Oh I'm sorry, I meant tiara!" The heated battle rages on.

"Uh guys?"

"Well this 'tiara' is better than any of your thongs Roy!"

"I don't wear thongs! I-" Roy and Marth stopped to someone's laughter. There was Ike, hand on face, trying his best not to. But it still came out. He snickered, then fell on the ground laughing.

"What are you laughing at!?" They said in unison.

"Oh! Hahaha! Ow, it hurts! Hahaha! My sides!" Ike was laughing tears.

"Guys?"

"You know what? He doesn't matter. I have more charm than the both of you combined." Roy said with a hand up to his chest.

Marth scoffed. "Are you crazy!? Fine. Whoever wins over Kamui first is the winner. If we both lose, then obviously she's a les-"

"GUYS!"

"What Corrin? WHAT!?" Marth yelled. Corrin pointed behind him.

"Kamui's right behind you." Marth and Roy whipped around. Kamui was there, frown on her face and hands on her hips.

"What the fuck!? When did you get here!?" Roy stuttered.

"I assume when you two were fighting. What were you two talking about? About winning me over?" she said smugly. Roy whispered in Marth's ear.

"Dude, we should probably just tell her the truth. Maybe we'll be able to find out her sexuallity." he said quietly. Kamui waited and was getting more impatient by the second. Marth nodded and kept listening to Roy. Finally, they came to a conclusion.

"So, how was the bonus room?" Marth and Roy both had nervous smiles. Kamui closed her eyes and took a sigh. In a flash, a sword was up to both of their necks.

"Last chance. Truth. Now," Marth fumbled with his words. "Um, err…"

"We were betting on your sexuallity." Ike blurted out. "Roy and Marth were planning things when you walked over." Roy looked at Marth. Marth looked at Roy. They both looked at Kamui. She looked back at them. Only one thing was different. They looked at her nervously. She looked back at them with devious grins. Once again, Roy and Marth looked at each other.

"Is this true?" Kamui said.

"..."

"Well?"

"THE JIG IS UP! RUN!" But it was too late. She had them both by their throats.

Not too long later, Roy and Marth had several lumps on their heads.

"Assholes...I'm not straight or a lesbian. I'm asexual! For the moment anyways…" Kamui stomped off. Everyone who made a bet was crestfallen. All except Bayonetta.

"You heard the lady. Pay up!" There were several frustrated groans from each smasher that handed her money.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! NEXT ROUND!" Crazy shouted. Another screen popped out of nowhere. It had the teams and was spinning.

"Okay! Since Team Galactic Wings were successful, Rosalina, you may stop the spinner!" Rosalina stepped up to the big red button.

"No whammies...Now!" She pressed the button. 'Psychic Strength'

"Team Psychic Strength, you're up. Lucas, Ryu, please step forward!

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Are you ready?" Lucas nodded yes. The two stood back to back on the blue pad that now read 'DANGER'. Lucas was scared. Ryu told him to stay close and if they were split up, keep cool. Just remember that people are rooting for me, he thought.

"3…"

"2…"

"1…"

"BLOOD." With a flash, they were gone. Seconds later, the TV clicked on. The smashers marveled at the new sight. There were many colors on the walls and it was a bright atmosphere. Until scenes of 'HELP ME' written on the wall in blood and 'GET OUT' were shown on the walls. That's when they realized that it was a twisted carnival. Clowns. Attractions. And to make it even better, the team was separated. The screen split in two; on one side, Lucas, on the other side, Ryu. Everyone turned their attention to Lucas first.

It was dark. He could see at least. And he wasn't tied up. There was no radio helping him out, he just had to ride solo. He walked towards the light.

"Just keep your cool...Just keep your cool…" he repeated. Shadows of figures passed him by. They held axes and laughed maniacally. The Clowns. He could do this. His footsteps echoed on the floor as he stepped through a doorway. It opened up to a multi-colored, ride room. It was like a cylinder. Ryu was on the far other side of the tent. It was like the inside of a national museum, everything making you feel small. There were things lined up against the wall. It looked like ladders or footholds. It made sense considering the fact that there was no floor there. Just empty space. The empty space and obstacle course went all the way around to Ryu.

"Hey! Lucas! There is a big button with your face on it! I think you have to press it!" Ryu called.

"O-okay!" Lucas walked over to the wall. It had broken planks sticking out with nails in it. It was soaked in red and smelled terrible. Lucas nervously put his foot on the first one, then lifted himself up onto the second. He stumbled.

"Don't fall! There's nothing below us!" That thought made Lucas nauseated. Come on! You're better than this! Lucas screamed at himself. He forced himself through it. He stood up straight and walked along the planks. Then, he jumped off of one and grabbed one of the footholds in the walls. He walked like a monkey through all of them. Then, platforms started moving. The ones he was supposed to jump on. With nowhere to go, he became frustrated.

"Ryu! What do I do now!?" he said.

"Can you make it with your PK thunder?"

"I-I'll try!" he stuttered. Lucas took a deep breath. With the world standing still, he jumped and used his PK Thunder. He hit himself and flew straight towards a platform. Lucas reached out, ready to pull himself on. He grunted and stretched out his arms as far as they would go.

But the platform moved.

Lucas flipped through the air. He was nowhere close to the other side which means he would plummet to his doom. He fell down, into the endless blackness of nothingness.

"Nooooooooo!" he screamed as he fell.

"Lucas!" Ryu ran and bent over the railing. He searched for Lucas. His eyes darted left to right.

Darkness there, and nothing more, (The Raven quote).

"Damn it. He's gone. Surely I'll find him again...At least I hope…" Behind him, a door flew open. The button that once had Lucas' face on it now had his eyes and mouth crossed out. Someone had written 'DEAD' on the bottom. Ryu walked forward through the door.

"Darn it! No fair, they moved the platforms!" Ness yelled. "Now Lucas is gone!" Mega Man pat Ness on his back.

Marth and Roy both had ice on their heads. "I can't believe it. How could this happen!?" Roy said.

"Yeah, I know. How could she really be asexual? How could I be wrong?" Marth said.

"Oooookay...Not what I was talking about but yeah. It's a damn shame. She's got a nice ass."

"I wasn't talking about her features dumbass. Though you are right. I meant that I never would have thought she was like that. I mean, we all love her the same, but man, it's a shock." Corrin walked up behind the two of them.

"See, if you would've listened the first time I told you then maybe you wouldn't have lumped up heads." he laughed.

"Hey guys, I think Ryu's getting somewhere," Pit pointed to the screen. Ryu punched open a wall with a crack in it.

"I wish I could do that…" Roy said. "Well, I know someone who can…" They all looked at Ike, who was quietly snoozing in the corner. They turned their attention back to the TV. Ryu was in a bright room. He was dodging darts that were shooting from the walls.

"Acrobatics."

"Same." Ryu jumped past the rest of them and stopped only to fasten his headband. He walked on, determined to find Lucas. He ran into a room that had two different doors, both in chains. There were also two different buttons. One said, 'SAVE YOUR FRIEND' and the other said, 'BONUS ROOM'. Ryu clicked the save your friend button in a heartbeat. The door to the right opened with metal screams. It sounded like haunting souls. Once the door's shrieking came to an end, Ryu walked through the door. There was a giant yellow room with a giant statue in the middle. It looked something like a golem. The doors behind him slammed shut. There was the radio voice.

"I see you've come for your friend. Foolish foolish foolish. Welp, now that you're here, you might as well play with Tanby! Tanby is the big guy in the middle. Beat him and I might think about returning you friend. Are you ready?" boomed the shrill voice.

"Let's get on with it then!" Ryu yelled.

"Hey, you could at least be polite about it. Oh well." Everything lit up. Lights made the room much brighter, bright enough that Ryu could see things splattered against the wall. Red and orange and burgundy. The metal rods on the wall sparked on, casting electricity to one another. It made a fence of lightning. Tanby. Maybe Tanby needed to be knocked into the lightning?

"Well, is this thing going to activate or what?" he poked and tapped on it everywhere.

"Oh, right..." The radio said. "Gu lef dar!" Nothing happened at first, but then the Golem sprung to life. While Ryu question if gu lef dar is from Dragon Age or not, he didn't notice that the golem was fully awake.

"Go my minion! Attack!" There was a growl, then the golem turned towards Ryu. He lifted up his massive hand and swung down. Ryu dodged under him.

"Shoryuken!" Ryu jumped up with his fist in the air. He uppercut the golem from under. Direct hit! The golem stumbled and lost his balance, hitting the ground hard. Dust particles flew in the air.

"Wait, is it over? No, it couldn't be that easy." Ryu said to himself. He was right, as the golem stood right back up. Quickly, he swung around and hit Ryu with a huge backhand. Ryu blocked it. He struggled to hold against it. His feet skid against the ground, getting a little too close for comfort with the lightning.

"No closer!" Ryu grunted, then picked up the golem. "You'd think a rock would be heavier…Tanby...Did you lose weight?" He said, teeth clenched. Tanby figeted and fought will in Ryu's hands, but Ryu didn't care. He heaved and he ho'd and he sent Tanby flying right into the Electric fence. Tanby made loud, groanish noises as he was electrocuted, then he went stiff.

"Okay, now it's over."

"Damn it Tanby! Useless! Fine, have your friend, but you missed the bonus room, hahaha!" A hole opened in the ceiling. There was a faint noise, like a distant screaming. It soon got louder and louder. Lucas fell out of the ceiling and landed on the ground.

"Ouch." he said, rubbing his butt.

"Lucas, where have you been?"

"Well, I fell down into that void. I was falling for like 4 minutes. I actually thought it would never end. But then I fell into this chute, and now I'm here. What've you been doing?" Ryu looked at the golem.

""Oh, right." Lucas said sadly.

A blue pad magically appeared in the room. And so did the voice.

"Aww! What a reunion! We don't have all day, so hurry up and get the hell out!" it yelled. Lucas and Ryu both stepped on it.

"How come we can't get bonuses?" Lucas asked.

"It was either that, or you."

"Oh. Th-thanks Ryu." he stuttered.

"No problem. We'll get them next time though!" Ryu held his fist in the air. Lucas did too. And they were zapped out of the area.

"Hello." Ryu said. They had gotten back and their scores and time was on a screen. Items too. Ryu was studying his team. He had a check on Round one which means he made it. Right now, he could only see his team and Rosalina's team. Crazy Hand floated down from the sky.

"Okay! We're a little behind so we're going to have to jump right into the next one. Ryu! Please come and push this stop button!" Crazy said. The teams were spinning much faster this time.

Ryu came and casually clicked the button. 'Rolling Freedom'.

"Ya know, I expected a more enthusiastic push than that but whatever! Team Rolling Freedom is next! Cloud, Yoshi, please step forward!"

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They were walking side by side in a dark hallway. They couldn't be bothered. Neither one said a word to each other. They didn't care that it was dark. They didn't care that it was supposed to be spooky. They didn't care that it was supposed to be interesting. They just carried on like it was normal.

"Yoshi, watch out." Something was coming their way. Something heavy. It rumbled as it approached. The hallway was narrow, so it couldn't be too big. They waited for a long time.

"LOOK UP." the voice translated. There were spikes on the ceiling and they were coming down. "THAT MUST BE THE RUMBLING SOUND."

"No, run!" Cloud and Yoshi sprinted as fast as they could before they were impaled. Cloud was fast, but Yoshi was way faster.

"I'll catch up. Just keep running." Cloud commanded. Yoshi stopped.

"What are you doing?" Cloud hissed. Yoshi signaled for Cloud to get on his back. "Oh, right...Thanks." Cloud hopped on Yoshi and they started running again. The wall started closing.

"Run like the wind, bullseye!"

"DON'T PUSH IT." Yoshi ran as fast as he could, but the spikes and walls were getting closer.

"Does it never end?" There was a light at the end of the hallway. "Up there! Do you see it?" Yoshi nodded yes. His footsteps echoed off the cold, rigid floor. They were close. Meters, yards, feet. Cloud stood up and grabbed his sword. He cut the spikes and walls out of the way and Yoshi near dove out. The walls closed shut just after they got out. Cloud and Yoshi hit the ground with a thud.

"Thanks Yosh. That's what I call teamwork." he panted.

"CLOUD. DESTROY THIS TRANSLATOR." he said all of a sudden.

"What? Why? It's the only way to communicate."

"I HATE IT. BESIDES, YOUR MAIN LANGUAGE IS JAPANESE."

"I spent two years learning English. That doesn't matter. I'll get it for you." Cloud grabbed the small red dot off of him and stepped on it. It cracked.

"That was a lot easier than I thought. Hey, Yoshi. Is it hot in here to you?" Yoshi was too busy staring at something. Cloud got off of the ground and moved over to him.

"Whoa. Not good..." Cloud said slowly and quietly.

Lava. Waves and waves of lava. There was a path over the stuff, with occasional tall walls. The lava came like a wave and splashed against the tall walls.

"You've got to be kidding me." There was a door about 600 yards from them. It was the bonus room. Cloud looked at Yoshi.

"Ready for this?" Yoshi didn't answer. He took it all in. All of the memories of his brothers abandoned in lava because someone needed their sacrifice. Someone used them. That would not be his fate.

"Yoshi!" he responded. Cloud smiled.

"Then let's get this over with."

"Wow. This is the easiest challenge?" Pit said.

"What's the matter Pit? Can't take the heat?" Pittoo snickered, realizing his own joke.

"Uh, personally, I'd just fly over it. But they can't fly, so it's gonna be WAY harder. Hey, Crazy! Doesn't this seem extreme?" he asked. Crazy Hand twitched.

"Excuse me Pit, but I remember that I told you to call me 'Sir Crazy, the Bronze Knight'!"

"Yeah, Crazy sir whatever. Say, how is this the easiest challenge? And where did that voice go?"

"This is easy! All they have to do is hide behind the scattered walls when the lava comes! And if they get caught by the lava then...Oh waitaminute...oooooooh...Let's hope they don't fall." Crazy said.

"Wait what!?" How in the-...? Do you even think about these things?" Pit shouted.

"Quit your bitching Pit. It's contagious." Pittoo yawned.

"Pittoo, don't ruin my innocence!"

"What's wrong? Can't stand to hear the word bitch? How about cun-"

"Hey guys! They're going now! That lava isn't letting up!" Fox yelled.

"Oh yeah, they're having a grand ol' time aren't they?" Dark Pit said. Cloud was ducking behind a wall. Lava splashed against it.

"It must be hot as hell in there. Get it?" Roy winked and nudged.

"That was so bad that I'm willing to ask Marth to stab me." Ike mocked.

"Come on. Don't be like that. Robin, that was good right?" both Robins looked up.

"You killed a couple of my brain cells." they said in unison.

"Everyone's a critic. Say, got anything better?" Roy asked.

"Well, if you ask me, there's a lava stuff going on down there. Eh? Eh?" Marth hinted. Roy paused.

"Ugh, I coughed up a little bit of blood." Robin (F) stepped up. "All Cloud has to do is rain to put the fire out." her grin was from ear to ear.

"Okay please. Just stop. I'm sorry, but you're killing me."

"Well then. It looks like we exploited Roy's weakness. In that case, two guys walk into a bar, and the third one is a duck." Robin (M) said. Roy fell on the ground.

"Robin, if you don't stop then I'll kill you." both Robins looked at each other. They pointed to themselves. Roy sighed.

"I was talking about the feminine male Robin. We really need to find a way to tell the two of you apart. I mean, you both have the same name and you both act like chicks. Only one is attractive."

"Why thank you Roy!" Robin (F) said.

"Uh, no. I was talking about the other one."

"I'm going to ignore that and address the whole names thing." Robin (M) said. "Call me Splitter."

"..."

"...pfft HAHA! FUCKING SPLITTER! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!" Ike laughed. Robin was not impressed. "No, we're not telling jokes anymore. I'm serious." he said, arms crossed.

"That's what makes it so funny!" Robin sighed. Robin (F) stepped up.

"Call me Death. Anything else and you get...Well, death." Death said.

"She's kidding right? I'm just asking, Death seems scary and threatening. Her however, seems gentle and feeble." Marth said.

"Still won't stop me from kicking ass." she replied.

"Death it is then." They turned their attention back to the screen and watched them dodge back and forth.

"Umm, Lady Palutena?" Pit said, arms behind his back.

"Yes Pit?"

"I have a question. It's important."

"Oh, well then ask away."

"Okay...What exactly is a cun-"

"Yoshi, look out." Cloud said. The wave of lava splashed right over him. Cloud watched in shock as Yoshi was engulfed by lava. At least, that's what he thought. An egg rolled out of the lava and past straight to the next wall. Cloud was in awe. He silently fist pumped the air. Yoshi popped out of the egg as if nothing happened. Cloud ran over and rolled like an egg. He landed next to Yoshi and smiled sheepishly.

"Heh heh." Yoshi sighed. They moved in that formation. Yoshi egg rolling and Cloud person rolling from wall to wall. Finally, when they made it to the last wall, Cloud and Yoshi realized their problem. It was a 100-meter dash to the door and the lava came every 7 seconds.

"Yoshi, what's your fastest mile time?" Cloud asked. Yoshi held up four fingers.

"4 minutes. That's 400 meters per minute. 6 meters per second. 42 meters in 7 seconds. Not fast enough, we wouldn't make it. Can you use your egg roll over there? I can stay here. Find another way." Yoshi shook his head.

"Wait, you're right. Egg roll only last about 3 seconds and takes 5 seconds to regenerate. 8 seconds. Then there's no possible way to do this without getting burned." Yoshi shook his head. He communicated by saying his name and moving his arms.

"Oh? Oh! I see! You use your shield and then you want me to kick you down there? You know what? I say we just run. We both have great aerial maneuverability. If I ride you - let me rephrase that. If you run while I'm on your back and the lava comes, I can charge up a Limit Break and and pull us both up with my up-special. Or, I use my up special and you use your Egg Roll to get through? That could work…" Cloud said. Yoshi sighed, then swallowed Cloud whole. He came out as an egg and Yoshi grabbed him. The lava passed and Yoshi sprinted as fast as he could. The lava came seven seconds later. He threw the egg into the air and shielded. The shield nearly broke. He caught the egg and ran again. The lava began to approach again. You could here muffled noises from inside the egg. The lava was getting close, but Yoshi was getting closer to the end. If he shielded again, it would surely break, making him dizzy and a sitting duck, not to mention Cloud. If he Egg Rolled, he would pass the lava, but would leave Cloud behind. Cloud would break out very soon, probably not understanding Yoshi's plan. With little time to decide, Yoshi threw the egg he was carrying and Shielded at the last second. The lava passed over him and destroyed Yoshi's egg sanctuary. He broke open, dizzy. Cloud finally broke out of the egg.

"Hey Yoshi, we made it. Y-Yoshi?" Cloud turned around to see Yoshi stumbling from left-to-right. Then he looked at the lava.

"Uh oh…" He ran and grabbed Yoshi and quickly ran back. Yoshi half ran, half dragged behind. Cloud and Yoshi both threw themselves at the finish, away from the lava. Cloud dropped.

"Whew, that was a close one. Good plan Yoshi. If it wasn't hot in here before, then man…"

"Yoshi!" Yoshi said enthusiastically.

"Hey Yoshi, this may be somewhat racist, but, are you a pokemon?" Cloud asked. Yoshi looked taken aback. "No, it's just that you only say your name and in your final smash, you grow wings. Like an evolution!"

"Hmph!" Yoshi yelled, turning the other way.

"Wait Yoshi, I'm sor-"

Yoshi grunted.

"I guess the damage has been done. Well, sorry." Yoshi was still turned around. "Let's just get to the bonus room…"

"Did he seriously just ask if Yoshi was a pokemon? I mean, come on!" Robin said to himself.

"I actually need to ask him to be my tutor for math or something. He did all those calculations in his head…" Death said.

"You set me up. Now I'll have things in my head forever." Pit told Pittoo. "I didn't even know that it existed…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dark Pit replied.

"That word you said. The one that starts with a 'C'."

"One that starts with a...Oh, waitaminute...You didn't actually ask Palutena what that is did you?" he held back a snicker.

"Yes and she said-"

"OHAHAHA! THAT'S PRICELESS! HAHAHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT!" Pit wasn't at all amused.

"Pfft-hahaha! Man, how naive are you?" he laughed.

"Not that much anymore anyways…"

Dark Pit almost fell over.

"I still have those terrible images my head."

"Haha-wait wait wait. She showed you pictures to!?" Pit sadly nodded. That got Dark Pit started righ back up again.

"Haha! Wow! What did she say when you asked her?" he giggled.

"Well, at first she was shocked. I guess she didn't expect me to ask her what it was. Anyway, she said," Pit tried his best to imitate her. "Well, I'm surprised at you Pit! But, there is a time when boys like you are interested in that sort of thing. The word you used was inappropriate, nonetheless, but to put it bluntly, it is actually a female part. Not just any part, but-" he stopped right there.

"Hey, keep going!"

"S-sorry, but is this the best time to talk about this?" Pit signaled right next to him. Mega Man had his jaw dropped.

"P-Pit? Is that you?" he just barely got the words out. Pittoo was too busy laughing in the background to understand what was happening.

"Wait no, it's not what you think! You see-" Mega Man put a hand up.

"You know what, I don't even want to know." he said, walking in the other direction.

"Good, it wasn't his business anyway. Carry on Pit." Pittoo smiled.

"Oh yeah. *ahem*. 'Well, I'm shocked that you didn't know, but not everyone has parts like yours Pit. Girls are much different. For instance, the way you go to the bathroom and the way we go to the bathroom are different. You stand up most of the time while normally, we sit down. We don't have the part where we can 'take aim', but where we don't have anything there but a hole. Kind of like a flap.' I don't think I want to go on…" Pit said. Dark Pit was rolling on the ground.

"What are you talking about? Keep going!" he just couldn't get enough.

"Fine." he puffed. "'Another difference is our chest. The average man, or boy's, chest grow flat and girls are supposed to grow outwards, or a better word for you would be bigger. We call these breast, and most females have them. It's not bad when a female's breast aren't as big as others, or even seems to have none, Lucina for instance. If you were to compare Lucina to Samus, you would see a huge difference in breast size. Now, when men get heavier, Wario for example, they may also start to develop breast. Do you understand now, Pit? I still need to teach you what stimulation is.' And that's when I walked away. It's not funny! Stop laughing!" Pit fumed.

Dark Pit couldn't stop laughing. "S-so, what did you say back!?" he said through a huge grin.

Pit sighed. "I said, 'Well, does that make Wario a girl too?'" Dark Pit lost it. He couldn't stand. He fell onto the ground, not a care in the world.

"That is fucking rich! I can't believe you said that!"

"I can't believe you had me ask that…" Pit walked off.

"Haha! Wait, wait wait, come back!" he called.

"What do you want now!?"

"Do you know what 'Turned on' means?"

"Is this another one of your scams, your tricks? If so, I don't want to hear it!" Pit put his hands over his ears.

"No, listen! Go ask her. I know, it sounds like another trick, but just think about it. You've heard turn that on, or something like that and it wasn't a bad thing. Besides, what kind of sexual term is 'Turn on'? Just go ask her."

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Because that bitch - I mean, that person knows everything. She could explain it better."

"Fine. But if this is another one of your jokes, I'm coming for you." he said, stomping off.

"He is so damn gullible. This is too easy. I need a new target. Something more difficult…" His eyes darted all around the corrupted area. 'Till they stopped on Samus, (Zero Suit. There is only one Samus, one with the suit and one when she's without. In this case, it would be without.). A devious smile spread across his face as he homed in on his prey. She was leaning against the wall, arms folded against her chest. Her eyes opened, but her head didn't move.

"What do you want? If you've come to piss me off, it's too late." Spotted. She somehow noticed him getting closer. He cursed himself under his breath. He didn't plan to get caught so soon. No matter. He preferred a more, 'direct' approach anyways. He walked right up to her. She was tall, very tall in fact, and he found it very hard to look threatening. He knew the best way to start. Samus likes her space. Especially when she's upset or angry. So, he plopped himself right there on the wall next to her. She quickly started to look uncomfortable.

"What are you doing? Get away." She moved away from him quickly, but once again, he was right beside her.

"Oh, I see what's going on here. So you DO tend to be annoying." In the blink of an eye, she picked him up by the neck part of his shirt. He grabbed her wrist as she lifted him up.

"Listen. I'm not in the mood and I'll never be. You'd best keep away from me, or I'll make it so that you won't be able to participate. The hard way." She said with spite. Pittoo smiled, and kissed the back of her hand.

"I only wanted to tell you that I'm madly in love with you. My dearest Samus, would you be ever so kind to accept my heart?" he said in a kind and gentle voice. His eyes sparkled for affect. She quickly snatched her hand away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? Can you just not take a hint? Stay the hell away from me!" She drew her hand back, making a fist.

"Uh oh." he said to himself.

stepped in before things got messy. "Excuse-a me. Is there-a problem here?" he said. He looked at Samus and Dark Pit. Samus glared back at while Pittoo's eyes were on Samus' chest.

"Look , this isn't your problem. I'm taking care of one of mine. Keep it moving." she replied curtly. sighed.

"It'd be better for the both of us-a if you'd just put him-a down. Make my job a lot easier. You put him down and I'll-a take care of it. You keep him and-a you're both in trouble. What do you-a say?" he pulled at his glove. She shut her eyes tightly as if in pain. Finally, they snapped back open.

"Fine, but I'm taking these for a while." She grabbed Pittoo's Silver Bow. He hit the ground with a thud, then scrambled to his feet. He lurched after her.

"Hey, who do you think you are!? Give that back or-" Dark Pit was stuck. He turned to find himself cuffed to an iron pole. Dr. Mario was spinning the key on his gloved-finger.

"This should-a keep you outta trouble for a while. Once you-a learn to behave, I'll-a let you out." he put the key in his pocket and walked off. Pittoo was not happy. He pulled at the cuff around his right hand. It dug into his wrist. He kicked at it. He made a big fuss.

"Screw you! This isn't a punishment, it's stupid! I didn't do anything! That asshole attacked me! Let me go! Let me go! Coward!" After noticing that he was truly stuck, he slumped against the wall, pure, silent rage. He felt the dark wall with his hand. He considered punching it as hard as he could, more than likely breaking a knuckle or finger. Or he could use Pit again. He was just that easy to manipulate. And he seemed to be finished talking to Palutena.

"So damn gullible! Why does he trust me? It's frustrating." he grit his teeth together. Then, he turned his eyes to the TV. Cloud and Yoshi seemed to be exiting the bonus room.

"Aw man. Was I really talking that long? Going over the words, wow! 1514 words!" he exclaimed. He damaged the fourth wall. "I deserve more screen time." he said again, almost destroying the fourth wall. With nothing else to do, he turned towards the TV and watched. Cloud and Yoshi just stepped on the blue pad, looking triumphant. (The bonus room isn't revealed until Dark Pit's turn, so you're going to have to wait.) They zapped back, looking better than when they left. Immediately, they went to check out their progress on the board. Their time was 7:54 minutes and they had three items. Cloud stretched and sat down. Yoshi, well, Yoshi was being Yoshi. Crazy floated from the sky.

"Alright then! I've talked with some of my secretary and we've come to a problem. Now I know many of you have plans after this, and with as many teams as it is, it'll take days to finish! My bro would be back by then! So, the rules are changing a bit. Instead of six rounds, there will be four. Four teams will be eliminated each round and after round one, you'll be split into groups of three's. So, don't get too comfortable because you could be getting moved. Okay, next team! Yoshi, come press the buttons please!" crazy beamed, or at least, he would be if he had a mouth. Yoshi strided up to the button. He jumped upwards, then slammed his hand on the button enthusiastically. 'Clown Star'. Team Clown Star is next! Bowser Jr., Kirby, please step forward!

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There wasn't much to say. Kirby didn't use his translator and Bowser Jr. figured he knew enough English, so he didn't need a translator. The two of them were side to side, but separated by a wall. They both had some kind of extension cord around them to keep them from falling off. Did I mention the fact that they're both walking on a rope over nothingness? Bowser Jr. was restricted from using his Clown Car in this challenge. This required maximum teamwork, agility, and co-operation.

"Hey, Puffball! Watch it, don't pull me down!" he yelled over the wall. Kirby took no offence. The path started to get twisty and turny. But the lines they were walking on was somehow still in unison.

"Okay, listen up tiny! If you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing, we're going to both have to take the same steps at the same time! So follow my lead!" he spat. Kirby nodded.

"Okay, step!" They both took a step.

"Good, step!" They took another step. They were in unison, leaning against each other's weight in order to stay on the rope. Kirby and Bowser Jr. both got used to their beat.

"Wait, stop!" Kirby accidentally took a step, pulling Bowser Jr. forward. He stumbled on the rope.

"Argh! You moron! I wanted to look at the bonus room!" he screamed. Kirby shook too. The rope swung between both of their feet and they fell on opposite sides. The rope twisted around the both of them and got tied up the other rope. They fell and hung in the air. Just sat there. Bowser Jr.'s entire body (except for his head) was tied up. Kirby had his mouth and arms tied up.

" Great! Look at what you've done! Make yourself useful and get us out of here! Inhale or something!" he barked. Kirby tried the best he could, but with his mouth and hands bound by the ropes, there was nothing he could really do.

"Mmph!" he said.

"Wait, you're not serious are you? Your mouth and arms are stuck aren't they?...Oooh great…" Nothing else happened. They're LITERALLY stuck and can't do anything. They would need some way to get rid of the ropes. Bowser Jr. tried to burn the ropes, but his flames were too puny and weak to do any good.

"Argh, the blood's rushing to my head!" he whined.

"Mmph…"

"Shut it! Not another muffled word outta you! Boy, I aughtta clobber you…" he mumbled. "Got any ideas?" There was no reply. Kirby had somehow fallen asleep.

"...Welp...Somebody...HEEEEELP!" he cried out.

It was silent back at the viewing hall. Some watched in awe as they somehow managed to get themselves into an unfixable situation.

"Did...Did they just…"

"Pfft, AHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! You can't be serious! This is actually a thing!" Ike bellowed. Death punched his shoulder.

"How could you be so cruel!? That's not funny, they're stuck there!" she said, folding her arms.

"Awe, come on. Don't pout like that. It's just the fact that they somehow-HAHAHAHA! I can't even hold it in! They're just stuck there! That's hilarious!" Death punched him again.

"Haha! Alright alright. I'm done! I'm sorry." he said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Psst, hey, Marth. Watch this." Roy whispered. Marth raised an eyebrow as Roy strided over to Ike.

"Hehe...Hey Ike…"

"No, I know what you're going to do. No jokes or Death'll kill me." Ike hinted.

"No, it's just that I was gonna say...They're really hanging around aren't they?"

"...Bwahahaha!" Roy sprinted back over to Marth.

"Haha!"

"Hehehe, why did you do that?"

"Here, just watch."

Death walked back over to Ike.

"Why are you still laughing!? It's not funny! What if they were choking?"

Ike scratched his back. "Well, it'd still be somewhat funny…" he laughed nervously. "We'd get them out, we're not just going to let them die. Right? Hahaha…"

She was still angry. "Shut it Ike."

"Hey, why are you so serious? What's wrong?" Her eye twitched.

"I guess you've never been tied up and stranded in the middle of nowhere."

"W-wait, what? When?"

"A long time ago. But that doesn't matter."

"Oh, okay. Well, sorry to hear that. I'll stop. I promise." he said. Bowser Jr. and Kirby were wiggling back and forth, swinging around. Roy tip-toed over to Ike.

"Hey Ike-"

"No, get the hell away from me."

"Hey Ike…"

"What!?"

"I've heard of a swingset, but this is ridiculous."

"HA-mph!" he stifled a laugh.

"What was that?" Death said.

"N-nothing. Roy farted."

"No I didn't!"

"You were laughing weren't you!? HYA!" She pulled her leg back, and slammed it in between two legs. The color drained from Ike's face, as he fell on his knees and hunched over. She removed her foot and Ike fell onto the ground.. Roy had both hands over his mouth. There was a quiet, high-pitched scream floating in the air.

"I hope that made you laugh, because I sure didn't." Marth ran over and knelt down.

"Oh crap. Oh crap. Ike, are you okay!? Ike, speak to me bro…" he said.

"Shit, Ike. Come on, get up." Roy shook him. Marth whipped towards him.

"You planned this didn't you!? What the hell man!?"

"No! I didn't know she would do that! A man's genitals is nothing to play with! Wait, let me rephrase that. A man's genitals is nothing to joke about!" Link ran over.

"Holy shit! What the hell happened!? Ike, wake up!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault! I didn't know this would happen. I swear!" Roy said. He looked confused and mostly sorry.

"Hey guys. What's all the commotion?" It was Corrin.

"Ike got hit in the balls!"

"What!? I-is he okay!?"

"No! I think he's unconscious. Help me lift him up." The men crowded around him and turned him over. He was still conscious, but was losing it. He couldn't speak.

"One, two, three, lift." The guys lifted him up. Although there were many of them, he was still heavy. Cloud watched them curiously.

"What are you doing?"

"Ike got kicked in the balls! Can you help us lift him?" Cloud assisted without a word. He must know the feeling from dealing with Tifa. Together, they carried him over to a long table.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" Link called. strided fourth.

"Don't be so banal. You know-a I'm right-a here. What's the problem?"

"Ike got hit in the balls! He needs help."

"Wait, Ike got what!?" All the men said. Literally, every male smasher (excluding Dark Pit, Pit, Lucas, Ness, Toon Link, Pikachu, Villager, Charizard, Greninja, and Pac-Man) ran over to Ike.

"That doesn't-a sound good. I'll take-a look at him." said. He wheeled the cart away with Ike groaning and twisting and turning.

"Oh gods, what have I done!?" Roy fell on his knees. Marth knelt beside him.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know this would happen."

"I hate getting hit there. I really feel it. Seriously." Shulk sighed.

"I hope-a he's alright." Luigi nodded.

"Everyone, take a knee!" Falco shouted. The men all dropped on one knee, bowed down, and put a hand across their chest.

"What are they doing?" Kamui whispered to Rosalina.

"It seems that Ike was hurt in his genital area. They take this very seriously. Just stay away and it'll get better." she whispered back.

"Man's oath!" Falco yelled out again. All together, the men raised their heads and spoke words that some people couldn't really understand.

"As a man, we must protect what is precious to us. We must also protect ourselves. Never shall we ever hit another man's precious things. Never shall we hit another man's precious parts. Never shall those who break the law, goes unpunished. For that is the way of a man." They all stood and turned towards the offender. In unison, their voices became more broad and forceful. "You," pointing at Death, "you who hath broken the law of the man shall be punished. You, who hath destroyed Ike's precious parts shall be punished. You, who hath discriminated and retributed amongst a man's parts shall be punished. You, Death, have broken the law of the man. Male or female, the consequences are dire. You will be punished." Step by step, they got closer to the lawbreaker. Toon Link tugged on Rosalina's dress.

"They're kinda freaking me out…" he said to her.

"This happens a lot back at the Mushroom Kingdom, at least, ever since I started visiting. It's like they lose themselves, they were born for this type of situation. They move like robots, and their pupils disappear. Their eyes glow a bright white, and voices become, well, big. It's like speaking into a microphone. All I can say is that Robin is in a lot of trouble." she closed her eyes. Toon Link inched closer.

The men repeated everything that they said.

"W-wait a minute! I've never heard of such a law! What's going on, 'cause this is not funny!" Death protested, backing into a corner.

"This is no joke. This is no game. You have broken the law, so you must be punished."

"Hold on! I didn't know!"

"You gon' learn today." They surrounded her. She punched and kicked, but to no avail. The men's bodies were like steel. Captain Falcon picked her up and the mob carried her.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"-must be punished. Must be punished. Must be puni-" They carried her to a chair, plopped her in it, and strapped her to it with duck-tape.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd call this a gang bang." she whispered. They tied a bandana around her mouth. "Yep, definitely a gang bang…" she thought.

"Now, it's time for your punishment. Consequences are dire." Cloud came forth with a pair of scissors. "Consequences are dire…"

It didn't take long for Death to figure out what Cloud was going to do with the scissors. And that scared her. He put the scissors up to her hair.

"MMPH!" she screamed. She tried her hands and legs, but the duck-tape held strong. But her head and body was still loose. She moved her head and wriggled her body as much as she could. Link and Fox ran and held her down. Fox had hold of her head and Link stomach.

"Consequences are dire…" Cloud put the scissors to her hair. He had grabbed it and with one motion, he could cut it all off. Of course, he would need clippers to get rid of the rest, but that wasn't important now. A tear dropped from Death's right eye as Cloud closed the scissors.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" A large hand flew from the sky. It didn't look happy. None of the guys listened. They were possessed by the spirit of their own manhood.

"THAT'S IT! THIS ENDS! EVERYONE IN BIG TROUBLE!" Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and the loudest boom in ages echoed across the world. An explosion half the size of the planet blew the stadium to smithereens. But with destruction comes creation. Crazy used the explosion to craft a different stadium, a new environment, and a new mood. He protected the smashers just enough so they would die from the fire and the blazing waves of the planet's core. Shards of the ground shot in all directions. Crazy did it all in one motion, restoring the ground, making a new spot.

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People were scattered everywhere. The guys seemed to be out of their trance, Team Clown Star's turn was suspended, Dark Pit was still chained up, Bayonetta seemed to be just fine, and Crazy was very angry.

"This is not how this is going to continue! If you guys don't learn to play right then I'm going to have to cancel this entire event! Bro!" he shook.

"Stopping this doesn't sound too bad. I can get back on schedule…" Sonic said, grabbing his head.

"Oh no bro! That's not how it works! Instead, you'll spend the next three days in solitary confinement to think about what you all have done!"

"Shut up Sonic!" Everyone yelled.

"Now, let's lay out some ground rules since you adults (and some kids) don't know how to play maturely! Okay bro, here are the rules. No fighting or physical forceful contact in any way. No talking over the game! Some people actually care, like Sheik, who's been watching the entire time!" There was silence.

"Hey, where is Sheik anyway?" Link asked curiously. Sheik extended from the ceiling like Spider Man, hanging onto a rope.

"I heard my name. What do you guys want?" she said bitterly.

"Found her."

"Anyways! More rules! If we have another outbreak, I'm taking all of your weapons! Yes, Corrin and Kamui, that means you too."

"I don't think that's physically possible." Corrin said.

"Do you wanna test!?"

"Shut up Corrin!" Kamui barked.

"Geez, sorry."

"Last rule, no wandering around! I'm taking that privilege away! Everyone, have a chair!" A giant green throne that was bigger than all of the smashers and Crazy Hand put together fell from the sky. It was big enough to walk on and enough room for everybody to not be squished together. There was a loud banging and clanging. "Your limitations is this chair! It should be about 40 yards, so that's your limit! Now, any other interruptions or trouble, solitary confinement. Understand!?" boomed Crazy. The smashers frantically nodded yes, not wanting three days in solitary confinement.

"Good! Now, it may be hard to get on that chair since it's really high up, but I'm sure you guys'll manage. Now, Team Clown Star, since you managed to get yourselves into an unfixable situation, I'm disqualifying you this round. That means you don't get to push the random button too. So I'll push it." he said. The magic screen poofed up and the teams were spinning like mad. Bowser Jr. made some very rude gestures to Kirby.

"Random fandom. Push a bush. Make these teams stop with a HUSH BRO!" Crazy yelled as he slammed his middle finger on the random button. Anger Management. The smashers looked confused.

"What the hell kind of name is Anger Management!?" Falco shouted.

"That's enough out of you," Crazy pointed at him, "no profanity either. Team Anger Management, it's your turn to play! Dr. Mario, Dark Pit, please step forward!"

"Oh, anger management. I see. That's pretty funny!"

"I said no more words out of you." Dr. Mario stepped up. Crazy looked around.

"Where is Dark Pit?" The clanging was consecutive, never stopping. Marth tip-toed behind the giant chair.

"Jesus dude." Dark Pit was pulling the cuffs against the pole and was kicking at it. He spat things under his breath as his rage grew even bigger. His wrist was bleeding from the cuffs cutting into his hands.

"Damn Dark Pit. Ya know, you kinda remind me of Merle from the Walking Dead."

"Are just going to stand there or get this thing off me!?"

"Alright alright." Marth ran back to the front.

"It's Dark Pit. He's handcuffed to a metal pole. Boy, is he mad."

"Which one of you bros handcuffed him to a pole? And why!?" Dr. Mario slowly raised his hand. "When you-a left, you told me to watch over everybody and-a keep them in con-a-trol. I found Dark Pit harassing-a Samus and I didn't want to have to treat him for a cracked skull, so instead, I used my-a own methods. I have-a the key right-a here." Dr. Mario reached in his pockets and pulled out a silver key.

"I'll go get him." Everyone watched as the doctor marched behind the giant chair. "Oh my…" he saw Dark Pit standing on the wall pulling against the metal bar.

"Ya know, he sorta reminds me of-a Merle from The Walking Dead."

"Yeah, that's what I said!"

"Fuck you asshole!"

"Calm down. I'm-a coming." Dr. Mario walked over to a very angry Pittoo and inserted the key into his lock and twisted it. Unfortunately, he turned it the wrong way and broke it inside the lock. The doctor held one half while the cuffs held the other. Some snickered, some backed away when they saw how the air around Pittoo turned red. Lucario jumped backwards.

"The aura!"

"Whoops...Heh heh, sorry about that Dark Pit. Heheh…"

"You, you did that on purpose! I should kill you right here!" he screamed, flying after Dr. Mario. Pittoo winced as the handcuffs dug right back into his scarred and bloodied wrist. Dr. Mario nervously walked back to the front.

"D. M. how's it shakin'!? Me too bro!" Crazy was going through a mood change.

"I uh, I broke-a the key…" He held up the key

"Bro, you're kidding. Welp, allow me to handle the situation! Everyone, please remain calm! Dark Pit will be just fine!"

"Doesn't deserve to be fine after what he's done…" mumble Pit. Palutena smacked a certain angel upside his head. "Ow! What did I do?"

"Quiet Pit."

"Yes mam…"

Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and a giant battle axe came from the sky.

"Psst...Falco. Isn't that Astaroth's axe from soul calibur?" Fox whispered.

"Wait...Holy shit you're right!" Falco's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Crazy grabbed the humongous axe and made it bigger with a mushroom. Now it was his size.

"That's more like it! Okay! Time to cut the chain!" Crazy sped behind the chair.

Dark Pit was still struggling against the cuff and had tears swelling in his eyes.

"This hurts so bad! Wait, where'd the sun go?" he said then looked over to see Crazy towering over him with an axe. Crazy lifted the axe up.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Don't do it, I'm sorry! Not like this!" he folded under pressure.

"Hold still Dark Pit! You wouldn't want to lose an arm would you!?"

"Yeah, with that I'd lose my life! Chill Crazy. Chill, chillchillchillchi-" Crazy swung the axe with a massive force, like a barbarian, and smashed the ground, the metal pole, the cuffs, and Pittoo. Rosalina covered her mouth. Crazy didn't just get the chain. He got a limb.

"Got it… wait...oooh...Reverse time!" Crazy yelled and snapped his fingers. Everything came to a yield, then reverse. The horrified looks on the smashers faces went back to marveled and then curious. Crazy stopped.

"Alright, what's going on now?" Dr. Mario nervously walked up to him.

"Lemme guess, you broke the key and now our bro is stuck?" Crazy said. Dr. Mario sadly nodded.

"Lucina, cut the chain."

"Oh, yeah, we could do that couldn't we? Well, I got it." Lucina walked back and there was a slicing noise. She walked back and Pittoo followed behind.

"Thanks babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever. Now, where is that doctor?" he scanned the area. "There you are! This is for locking me up!" he sped towards Dr. Mario, until he realized that he wasn't moving anymore.

"Hey, what's going on!?" Crazy was restricting him from attacking.

"Yeah bro, but I set a rule to where there's no fighting, unless you like solitary confinement."

"Please, I've already been through a solitary confinement. I'm not scared of being alone!"

"But you also lose the chance to rule the mansion with mildly limited power. Well then again bro, I didn't think you would be interested in that sort of thing. Attack Dr. Mario if you want." Crazy said, unrestricting him.

"..."

"So, you gon' fight? Or can we get this show ona da road? Bro?"

"Argh, damn it. It's not worth it. Well doc, you can at least fix up my wrist." he sighed, defeated. Dr. Mario walked over with gauze, a wrap of some sort, and alcohol.

"Hold still, this may hurt a little. We need to kill all of the germs that may have gotten on the wound."

"Your point is?"

"Don't move." Dr. Mario poured some of the alcohol on a cloth and dabbed it all around his wrist. Dark Pit winced and groaned.

"You could've said that it was alcohol. This burns, ow!"

"Hold still. This is also going to hurt." Master Hand took the wrap and tied it tightly around his hand.

"Ow, not so tight! You're pulling too hard!"

"That's-a what she said."

"Don't push it." he said through gritted teeth.

"Okay, and we're all done here. Now, let's get on with the show. Or game, rather." he said and stepped on the blue pad.

"One last thing. Really quick." Pittoo ran over to Samus and held out his hands expectantly. "Give it back."

"Keep talking that way and you're not getting anything." she retorted. It took every ounce of patience that Dark Pit had to not pry it out of her hands.
"Can you give me back my Silver Bow...please." he said gently. Samus' eyes narrowed, then closed. She sighed and handed him back his weapons. Both parts. Dark Pit smiled as he grabbed and re-connected them.

"Thanks." he waved and flew back. She shrugged him off.

"Alright, can we finally get a move on!? I'm sick of not getting any action." Dark Pit fussed. "Sitting around is making me sick."

"Alright alright bro! Geez. Your round starts in…"

"3…"

"2…"

"Let's get started already!"

"Chill bro. You're totally ruining the moment."

"1…"

"IMPATIENT." a voice echoed.

"You think you're so fun-" The blue pad zapped them away.

"Thank goodness he's gone. Alright, all the bros on the chair!" Crazy shouted. Many of the smasher looked up at the giant thing. Most of them knew that there was no way they were making it up there.

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They started off walking side-by-side, like Cloud and Yoshi. It was dark and the atmosphere had a very heavy feel to it. Pittoo walked normally while Dr. Mario struggled to keep up.

"What are you doing? Come on."

"Wait, the gravity is-a much stronger here. Dont-a you feel it?" he said. Dark Pit put a finger up to his chin.

"Hmm...Nope, not a thing. Now, stop bs-ing around and let's go." he commanded.

"I-I-a need help." Dr. Mario said, collapsing to the ground.

"Ugh, can you be anymore pathetic?" he put a hand to his face. Dark Pit picked him up and hoisted him onto his shoulders (like an adult would hold a kid).

"You're a lot stronger than you look." Dr. Mario said. He held on to Pittoo's head.

"I've been lifting ever since I found out my idiot counterpart is higher than me on the tier list. I am better than him, I know it. I just need to show everyone how great I am!" he said. He quickly became pumped and started running full speed down the hall. Dr. Mario bobbed up and down on his shoulders.

"This is-a some determination! If I may ask a question, what exactly are you?"

"Excuse me? I didn't catch that."

"I meant who are you? You have Pit's name, only Dark Pit. Are you some evil version of him built up from all of his angers and worst fears?" he questioned. Dark Pit growled.

"You obviously don't understand how insensitive that question was. I'm my own damn person. But, if you want an explanation, you're out of luck. Just look up something called the Mirror of Truth. That should tell you enough." he said. Dark Pit was still running.

"So, what you're saying is you were created by the Mirror of Truth?" he asked. Dr. Mario took his silence as an okay to keep going. "A clone?"

"Incomplete clone. Now, that's enough about me. I'm more worried about you."

"Wait, one last question. What keeps-a you motivated? Why are you so-a pumped up?" Dark Pit smiled at the thought.

"I thought I already told you. I want to surpass Pit! To finally prove that I am better than all these morons, that's what keeps me going! I'm tired of being last! I am sick and fucking tired of always coming up last! So, if things don't happen in my favor, then I'll force them to! I'm going to win this tournament and demand to fight everyone here! To be the best, That's my dream!" he shouted with pride. Dr. Mario had never seen him grin so hard. He'd never seen him work so hard.

"Now doc, I have a couple of questions for you. Since we're a team of clones, how do you exist? I mean, aren't you Mario in a white coat?" he turned a corner to find a room full of spikes. There were floating platforms and large blades swinging and bombs shooting. He skid to a stop.

"Whoa." his eyes widened. So did Dr. Mario's.

"Okay, so doc, can you walk now?" He set him on the ground and immediately, he slumped over. Dark Pit sighed and picked the helpless smasher back up.

"Well, I guess you're sticking up there. Okay, I need you to keep perfectly still. Just don't move. I got this." he said. Pittoo took deep breaths and counted it out. He wanted to do this, just not with Dr. Mario. Not only was he a deadweight, but he didn't want to be responsible for him either.

"Okay, 3...2...1...GO!" He ran and jumped on the first platform. The blades was further ahead. He didn't need to worry about those now. The bombs however, shot straight at him. A large bomb came hurtling straight in his direction. Dark Pit jumped over it, but it blew up behind him and sent him teetering on the edge of the platform. He clenched his teeth and jumped to the next platform while also ducking under a giant murder saw.

"Shit that was close." he said relieved. He landed on the platform and reflected some of the bombs away. They ran rampant, spitefully destroying some of the obstacle.

"You okay Dr. Mario?"

"I'm-a fine. Heads up!" he snapped his head to the right and took a bomb to the face. He flew and hit the wall. A large blade swung towards him. He broke his Silver bow into two pieces and quickly blocked it. The blade didn't stop though. It threatened to crush him, just swinging the other way before smashing the jelly out of the team. But, when one problem cleared, another presented itself. He started falling towards the spikes.

"Damn damn damn!" He flapped his wings vigorously and was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform. Dr. Mario started to slip off of Pittoo.

"You have got to be kidding me." he said as he grabbed Dr. Mario with one hand. He threw him onto the platform and drug himself up. Once he got up, he found that Dr. Mario was unconscious.

"Must've gotten knocked out from the wall smash. Welp, guess it's all up to me." he sighed as he grabbed a bomb and threw it at the blade in front of him. It exploded, sending the vile thing off it's hinges and into the death trap below. He was close to the end. He picked up the doctor and leapt to the next platform, but instead, he was clothes-lined by a metal pole. It hit him square in the face, making his anger spike and causing him to cuss under his breath. His nose bled like a fountain.

"Falling again!" He threw Dr. Mario again, but instead of the next platform, straight to the end. He was really close after all. He used his wings again, but they weren't strong enough to get him to the platform. He fell straight towards the deadly spikes. But instead of sitting there and waiting to be skewered, he grabbed on to the much slanted wall. He, of course, slipped, but also slowly made progress up it by climbing on his hands and feet.

"Man, this was a terrible idea." he said, fighting against the steep slope. You know that blade I told you he blew down earlier? Well, that's still here, and it's falling over. The dull part, made from ironwood and, well, iron. It creaked and groaned as it scraped against the spikes and lazily fell towards him.

"This just keeps getting better and better." With nowhere to run, he put his arms up and braced for impact. (Now, let me show you some calculations. This thing is made of not just Black Ironwood and Iron, but also a little bit of plastic. Anyways, a cubic foot of iron is 491 lbs, while a cubic foot of Black Ironwood is 84.5 lbs. So, put together, that's 575.5 pounds in a cubic foot. Throw in another 10 pounds from the plastic. But, it's not just a cubic foot falling on him. I mean hell, this thing is four times his size! For example, let's assume that Dark Pit is 5 foot 4. That makes the blade 21.6 feet tall. That's 16.2 feet taller than him! Now, pulling a little bit of stuff from physical science, 575.5 times 9.8 m/s equals 5639.9P which I need to multiply by 4 because of height which comes out to be 22559.6 kg*m/s2. That's enormous! For force and momentum! I myself am 6 foot 3, so that makes this thing at least 25.2 feet tall. Which is 18.9 feet tall than me. I can lift maybe, i dunno, 150? 165? Yeah, I wouldn't be able to stop this thing. Including the momentum!? That shit would crush me like I'm a damn walnut under its foot. But now you know how bad Dark Pit's idea is. And yeah, I took time out to search this stuff and make calculations. You're welcome.) He closed his eyes and tried his best not to fall. The air cried out loud as the giant object whooshed past it.

"Maybe this isn't the best idea. Yep, moving!" he said. He dove out of the way even if he did have sharp spikes waiting on him. The giant blade nearly missed him. Nearly. The big ol' handle fell and smashed into his ankle before he was able to get anywhere. His expression change from aggravated to straight pain. The impact shot up his entire leg like lightning.

"Fuck! Damn it!" was all he was able to gasp. He fought against the pain, if he didn't get a move on, he would fall and be skewered. He pumped his wings and burst into the air to the next platform.

"At least my recovery is good. Gah!" he tried to stand but fell backwards and almost off the platform.

"Ow ow ow! Man, I'm just tanking injuries today. Okay, one more platform and then the end. I can do this. I can do this." he tried to stand, but got the same results. Fine. If he couldn't use one foot, how about the other? He jumped up onto his left foot. Yes. Hopping the rest of the way there didn't seem the least bit pleasant to him, but what other option did he have? This time, the swinging blade had already been blown down, so all there was was bombs.

"Alright, here goes nothing. HEH!" he shouted. He almost crapped himself with all the effort he put into that jump. It was more pathetic than Little Mac's. He grabbed on to the same platform he just embarrassed himself on. Three minutes later, he was ready to try again. Screw jumping! He thought to himself. Instead, he used his up special and flew straight over the last platform and right to the end. His momentum sent him flying a little bit farther than he usually would. He landed on the edge.

"Argh! Ow!" he cried. He had landed right on his bad ankle. Of course, he collapsed on the ground as usual. Before he picked himself up though, he noticed that Dr. Mario started waking up.

"It's about damn time. My arms were getting tired from carrying my team. Hey look, it's a button." There was a button on the wall. A large screen that had an arrow going down rested on the wall. Dr. Mario's face was on the button on the wall.

"Well how about that doc. I think I can fix you gravity problem. Stay right here." The dark angel army crawled towards the wall.

"Hahaha! I don't know why I'm laughing, but it's great! Hahaha!" Dark Pit giddily laughed. He jumped up on one foot and pressed the button. The sound of a generator powered down all the lights turned off.

"As if it wasn't dark enough already. Doc! Wakey wakey! Come on, there's work to do!" he shouted irritably. Dr. Mario sat upwards and shook his head.

"What-a happened."

"I'm not sure, but it's time to keep moving. Also, I hurt my ankle. Can you wrap it like you did my hand?"
"Oh, okay. Let me-a see…" Dr. Mario stood up and inspected Dark Pit's foot. He touched it and moved it in different ways.

"Foot worship."

'Shut-a up. You're too young to know about that kind of thing." he said. Pittoo snorted.

"You're kidding right. Like seriously?"

"No. I'm being legit."
"Ugh. How old do you think I am? For the love of gods and goddesses, I've had lust ever since I was born. You really think that I wouldn't j-ow! Stop it, that hurts! Don't touch it there! And if you make a joke I'll bash your skull in!"" he balled up his fist. Dr. Mario sighed and closed his eyes.

"Just as I suspected. Unfortunately for you Dark Pit, it's not your ankle that's damaged. Your foot is broken. I don't know how it's happened, but the way your foot is twisted, I can tell that the bone has been snapped. We'll get a full X-ray when we get back. But for now," he stopped mid sentence. Pittoo looked down to find that the doctor was crouched down waiting expectantly.

"What are you doing?"

"Hop-a on."

"What? Hell no! That's creepy!" Dark Pit turned away with a huff. "I can walk just fine."

"Oh? Then put-a your right foot-a down." Dr. Mario challenged. Dark Pit growled. Slowly, he lowered his foot and touched the ground.

"Ah-ah-ah. You-a have to put pressure on-a it." he smiled. Dark Pit cussed (or cursed, however you say it) under his breath. Slowly, he lowered his foot to the ground.

"Ai! Ow, okay! You win, but I'm not sitting on your shoulders."

"Then what do you-a suppose we-a do?"

"I suppose you fix up my damn foot!"

"Dark Pit, stop being difficult. You're-a wasting time and-a I don't want-a to miss out on-a the bonus room."

"You don't understa-"

"I don't-a want to-a hear it. Either you ride on my-a back or I'll drag you there." Now, normally if anyone demanded him what to do like that, he would tell them to go put their fingers up somewhere. But not only was Dr. Mario his partner, he was also right. He looked away frustrated and pulled himself on Dr. Mario's back. His face was red as a tomato and he mumbled things under his breath. Dr. Mario laughed to himself.

"Why are you blushing?" Dr. Mario teased.

"Shut the hell up! Get moving!" he yelled. The doctor chuckled and started moving finally.

"Seems like we've flipped the switch; traded places Pittoo."

"Do not call me that! Speaking of trading places, that brings me back to my question before. How do you exist? Aren't you just Mario in a white coat and a Master's Degree in...um...doctorism?"

"Of course not. I'm-a Dr. Mario and Mario is a Mario! We are-a two different individuals."

"Wait, I don't think you understand the question. Why do you exist? Wouldn't you be like a different character for Mario to be? For instance, Samus is just Samus in her powersuit while Zero Suit Samus is the same person, just out of her powersuit. So, what are you?"

"I'm-a Dr. Mario!"

"You know what? Fuck it. I don't care." he snarled. All of a sudden, Dr. Mario came to a sudden stop.

"Pittoo."

"I said not to fucking call me that!"

"It's dark. I can't-a see."

Pittoo facepalmed. "How many shits am I supposed to give?"

"A lot. Don't-a you hear it?"

"I don't hear anything. Stop making excuses. Get moving."

Dr. Mario sighed. "Don't-a say I didn't warn-a you." He started walking into the dark fog. Dr. Mario stumbled back and forth.

"I can't-a see!" Dark Pit saw clearly. Dr. Mario was walking straight towards simmering fire.

"Hey! What're you doing dumbass!? Trying to kill us!?" he yelled.

"It's too dark!"

"Oh, I understand. This is part of the challenge, where I have to guide you because you can't see anything. Yeah, well that's just perfect. Alright, stop." The murky fog swayed back and forth, consuming the area.

"This-a fog, it's kinda like-a the one on-a New Super Mario Brothers Wii on-a the first level on the-a eighth stage. Remember the fog? The poisonous fog?"

"Doc, I don't play a lot of video games okay? I don't know about this kind of shit. Now, take a step to the left." Step.

"Good. Now, walk forward."

"How-a much?"

"I'll tell you when to stop, just walk forwards!" Walk walk walk walk walk.

"Stop!" Dr. Mario jumped in the air (a little). Pittoo shook back and forth.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he growled.

"Don't-a scare me like-a that! You know Pittoo, you could learn to be-a more co-operative."

"You know asshole, you could learn to call me by my actual name. Take a step to the left." Dr. Mario frowned. He was started to get tired of Pittoo's attitude. He knew what he was dealing with when he ended up partnered with him, but could definitely do without the lip.

"What-a am I avoiding any-a-ways?"

"Fire, spikes, chain-chomps, paparazzi, cream cheese, cameras, angry men, ladies on their periods. What does it matter you're avoiding!? Let's get out of here, so I can get my foot fixed."

"You're testing my-a patience, Dark Pit." he said. The dark angel scoffed, not blinking once.

"Bitch, you tested mine to the limits when you chained me up, got me exploded by that Crazy Hand, and then nearly squashed by a chair. Not to mention breaking the key in the lock."

"You-a think that stuff was on-a purpose!? You deserved most of it!" he fussed.

"Shut your damn mouth before I shut it for you." The tension rose in the room. Dr. Mario was contemplating dropping him onto the ground, but he needed him to get through the fog. Once they reached the bonus room though, he was free to ditch him. Dark Pit had his arms folded and head turned, It'd be easy to beat him up right now, but the doctor decided against it. He would also have to treat his injuries and solitary confinement didn't sound too fun. So, against all of his intentions and thoughts, he walked forward.

"Good. Anyways, take two steps to the right. Yeah, two steps to the forwards."

"To the forwards?"

"Shut up. You know what I mean." Step step.

"Hey look, it's the bonus room! Man, this can't get any easier!"

"Not-a considering the fact-a-that you broke your foot…"

"What was that!?"

"Nothing." Dr. Mario approached the large door that had the words 'Bonus Room! Think Fast!' engraved on it. Finally, the dark fog cleared out. Dr. Mario looked back and there was spinning saws and flamethrowers and guns and super killer murder robots. "Huh."

"Yeah. I think a thank you is required."

"I'm-a the one holding-a you. You should-a thank me instead."

"Let's just go. Carry me home, sweet chariot!"

"That's the last straw." Dr. Mario groaned as he slowly pushed the door open. It creaked and then gave in with a sorrowful moan and slid backwards. They stepped inside and were speechless to the site. Gold. Gold everywhere.

"Woah! That's-a more gold coins than I can-a count!"

"Rich! Rich I tell ya! Now I don't have to participate in the tournament for money!...Not that I'm going to quit or anything." Dark Pit shouted in joy. The two 'Men' ran around giddy babbling bunches of nonsense.

"Man, it doesn't get much better than this!" they said in unison. And then the voice was there.

"Ha! That's what you think! It doesn't get much WORSE than this!" all of the gold started turning into sand. Hot hot molten hot sand. There were no walls, and the air was blue. BLUE of all colors! Do you know how blinding that is!? *ahem* Anyways, the gold turned into sand that made the room HOT!

"Alright ladies, it's time for your bonus challenge! Now, as you can see, this 'gold' as you say, has turned into searing hot liquids in which you have to dive in! Find as many of these mushroom cards," the little speaker spit out a mushroom card, "and leave! Two minutes! Only two! And, if you're not out by then. Then I'll...Hmm… what will I do?...I forgot. Well I guess I'll just blow you up I guess. Only seems appropriate...this just got awkward fast...Challenge Start!" the speaker yelled and phazed out of existence. A gigantic clock with numbers that had skulls on them poofed out of nowhere, making question what this place really was. It's not even scary, it's just downright mysterious. And slightly creepy while being so. The room got hot and touched the sand-gold or gold-sand or whatever it is. He winced and pulled his hand back quickly. Must've been hot. Shaking his head, he backed up quickly.

Dark Pit wasn't too excited about jumping into molten gold just to get a bunch of cards neither. Not to mention the fact that it would sear his skin and destroy it forever. "Okay, what the hell? I don't know anyone stupid enough to jump in that. Let's leave."

"Wait-a-minute...Dark Pit, there's an item-a box over there." he ran to a far corner with Pittoo bobbing on his shoulders. It was a classic item box. Question mark on it just like the others. Spun just like the others. couldn't jump unless he wanted to ram Pittoo's skull into it, which he didn't. So instead, they did it the boring way and just had Pittoo punch it. Yeah, real fun. A-anyways, Dark Pit punched it and it went all brown.

"Great, it's a dud. Real useful. I want to punch the dumbass who did that…"
"LOOK-A! IT'S A STAR!" cried out, pointing towards the star. It turns out something WAS in the box, the dark angel just didn't pay attention.

"What are you waiting for old man!? Grab it!" didn't too much fancy being called old man.

"DARK PIT, I CHOOSE-A YOU!"

"Wha-" The doctor spared no pity as he javelin threw Dark Pit at the star. No document can explain the boy's scream, but it sound like a raging baboon with a drinking problem. Pittoo flew (not with wings) straight towards the star. It looks like he will make it actually. Going going...And then there's always the moment when they miss. Well, not exactly 'miss' but not a direct hit either. He was close. Super close. His hair scraped the bottom of the star, but he still fell pathetically.

"Damn you doc! Aaaaugh! Wait a sec…" he yelled. But then it hit him. The noise. The starman noise. He heard it. Everyone heard it. He looked at his hands. They were still the same color. But he plucked a strand of his hair out...I think you know where this is going.

Shocked. Speechless.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? MY HAIR IS INVINCIBLE!? IS THAT HOW IT WORKS!?" he fell straight towards a pile of gold-sand sand-gold. had tried. Tried to keep the laughter in. He meant to get the star, but missed. But that expression...Could only be someone is trying to hold back a laugh. His face twisted and turned, he put a hand over his mouth and even bent over. It wasn't enough.

"Bwahahaha! I'm-a sorry! Sorry sorry!" he laughed. Dark Pit was doing the opposite. It was a mixture of a hate-anger-cry thing where you're not really crying, but you feel like it because you're angry-scared. That kind of thing. He splashed right into the sand-gold gold-sand. Whatever demonic things he was saying was muffled under it. No screams of pain. No cries of hatred. No apology. ran over worried, 'cause the sand-gold gold-sand was very hot.

"Pittoo, can-a you hear me? Speak-a to me!" The was no response. The doctor nodded in response. He took off his (headgear thingie, ya know, the things that doctors wear) headband and put his head down in respect.

"BOO!" Pittoo jumped, scaring the living daylights out of him. Pittoo crawled out of the gold-sand sand-gold holding three cards.

"Miss me? Don't tell me you cried." he smirked. He pulled out both of his legs and stood up just fine.

"Dark-a Pit!? How did you-"

"It's not rocket science you imitation plumber. Straight from the can of peas."

"I am-a not an imitation! I am-a doctor!"

"Calm down doc. You might need Anger Management." laughed the dark angel. "It's hollow under." he signaled to the sand-gold gold-sand.

"But, your-a leg..."

"Guess what? I found a 1-up! Thank the heavens that I have your universes weird items. Anyways, about chucking me like a spear…" he said, smile disappearing. He looked at expectantly.

"..."

"Oh, now is not the time for you to be all silent! You know what you did! Own up imitation plumber!" that sure did get him flustered. "I'm-a not an imitation plumber! I am-a doctor!." he retorted. took a couple of breaths.

"Then again, why isn't are team name something like Broken Clones or Shattered Halo. That would be much more cool than Anger Ma-BLAAAH!" and Pittoo exploded in the most heinous and excruciatingly way possible. It seems that they had run out of time. They failed to find the blue pad, so all of the mushroom cards (aka items) were lost. They only received a huge pain in the ears and a gigantic headache. The sand-gold gold-sand disappeared (which is a relief, because I'm tired of typing gold-sand sand-gold. What a mixture.) and the air became clear again. The heavy blue fog washed away quickly, as if it we wiped by windshield wipers and fabreeze. The walls pushed themselves out of the ground and stood tall as the room began to shrink, pull itself inward until it was nothing but a closet sized, 10x10 square feet. The blue pad was right in front of the two smoked smashers. Dark Pit and Doctor Mario were charred like overcooked steak. Simmered and a little more well-done than they'd prefer.

Dr. Mario groaned and groggily stood up. He looked down at Pittoo who was whining in pain.

"I hate-a you so much…"

"Sh-shut up doc. Not in the mood."

"You got-a us exploded."

"Ow, it burns…" he said. Dark Pit didn't show any signs of getting up. The doctor sighed and grabbed his hand, dragging along the ground. The room was no more than four yards long. The two got on the blue pad with a time of fourteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Also no bonuses, with injury. These guys suck. The blue pad zapped them out of the challenge realm and back to the regular world.

Their challenge was complete and Dark Pit and were embarrassed as all hell. Looks from left and right only made them sulk to the ground. Pittoo was still down for the count and was just dragging him everywhere. Nobody really felt like dealing with Pittoo so they kept their comments amongst themselves. Crazy Hand silently floated towards the tiny podium.

"So," the hand said, clearing his throat, "it seems that we have reached our intermission. Everyone, no bathroom breaks and no moving. ALSO!" the hand screamed out for no reason. Some people covered their ears.

"Also, Dark Pit and , if you don't get up on the chair, I'll explode you just like the voice person did! See, look!" he exclaimed. He put his fingers as if to snap, but his supervisor calmed him down.

"Fine fine fine fine fine fine okay! Fine! Got i t yepe yep mmhmm. Get on the chair otherwise you'll end up just like Little Mac!" everyone's attention turned to Little Mac who was still failing to get on the gigantic chair. He bounced off of the walls and used his up-special, but nothing changed. He tumbled down and exploded once more. But he wouldn't give up. They followed him with his eyes. Up, up, theeeeen back down. Exploded again. looked at Pittoo laid out on the ground then looked up at the chair.

"Crazy Hand you buffoon! There's-a no way me or-a him can get up there! We-a need help!" screamed. Everyone winced to calling him a buffoon. Crazy Hand twitched.

"Okay! New idea! Don't get up there and everyone gets exploded! 1 minute!" Several groans came from the chair. Quickly, Link lowered Toon Link with his hookshot who had an outstretched hand. signaled towards Pittoo.

"Ditch him! There's like 50 seconds left!" Mega Man hollered. The doctor flung the dark angel straight into a dumpster and ran, jumped off of the wall of the chair and grabbed Toon Link's hand. They pulled him onto the chair, sending him rolling into a barrel. Use your imagination. The two did the same with Little Mac too. Everybody took deep breath that they got everyone that mattered up on the chair.

"Okay! Now, enjoy your intermission and we'll be back in a four minutes! Don't forget, no talking or I'll blow you up!" he teleported away and nobody moved. No sound, no movement. There was a loud banging noise. Over half of the smashers ran over to the side to see Pittoo climbing out of the dumpster with a banana peel on his head. They shushed him.

"H-"

"Shh!"

"Why can't I tal-Augh!" he yelled. Combined explosions blasted everywhere like fireworks on a july sky. Except, this one was filled with screaming pains and agonizing howls.

"GAH!"

"OWIE!"

"CURSE YOU DARK PIT!"

"IT BURNS!"

"IF THIS DOESN'T KILL YOU, I WILL PITTOO!"

"HOT DOGS ARE A DIFFERENT COMPOUND OF BUTTER!"

"WHAT!?"

"NOTHING IT JUST HURTS TO WHERE I'M SCREAMING THINGS THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW BECAUSE MY BRAIN CAN'T KEEP UP WITH-"

"SHULK, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"THIS IS LIKE DEATH WITHOUT THE FEMALE! GET IT!? BECAUSE YOU GUYS THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ACTUAL DIEING BUT INSTEAD I WAS TALKING ABOU-"

"YES SHULK! WE GET IT!"

And with every word resulted in another explosion.

Which team are you rooting for? Me too.