Just a quick story I have been writing and puttling at for the last year- I love Iruka. There needs to be more stories about him. This is a two-shot, so I'll finish it quickly.
It was a warm morning in March, and the sun was shining over Konohagakure. Civilians and shinobi were shopping, eating or generally being a noisy mass of people. One of the few places in the village where it was truly silent, was a massive building in the east block towards the hokage mountain. The building is four story tall, and has two more stories underground. It is Konoha's Library, and it is protected by vicious nerds that you will find at every corner and floor of the building. The library is split into sections that make no sense unless you study the map given at the entrance fervently, or if you're a member of ANBU I.T. What is the ANBU I.T. you ask? ANBU INTELLIGENCE! But they are for the main masses known as the librarians of Konoha.
In the sections reserved for raiton and doton ninjutsu(Just on the corner where Jiraiya has his own corner with all of his works and a hairy pink couch) we find a vicious nerd doing her job, honoring the duty passed down for over 70 years. It's a proud history dating from the time when the Shodaime started storing scrolls of ninjutsu in a protected building he built. Overnight every last scroll was stolen, and later recovered for a fee from the Uchiha clan. Tobirama Senju, later the Nidaime, immediately cut off some shinobi from the special forces and let them make lair in the building. There they stayed. Becoming known as Intelligence division 1, they stored and organized scrolls from all the clans and civilians alike. As the tension started to rise again between the nations, the intelligence division was put under hard training from the ANBU squads. This made them more capable of protecting the secret techniques of Konoha from Iwa and Suna nin.
But let's go back to the I.T-nin. It was a serene silence that filled the section, filled up with endless rows of shelves with books and scrolls. On a rickety table was a person slouched over a detailed diagram that would make most people nauseated and give them a strong headache. The person mouthed silently to herself and noted information with incredibly small characters on an empty sheet next to her. Her pale blue hair was pulled away from her face in a long braid, and she had a pair of glasses on top of her head. Her slim figure was in comfortable loose clothing in muted colours, and a hitai-ate was seen poking through her short coat and her shirt. At the moment she was sucked into the world of gardening. What? Yes, the diagram was detailing the exact way to plant and care for a rare breed of lilies. It just so happened that Dengen Ichida loved lilies, and no matter how bad she was at gardening she never gave up, dammit! She was so sucked into the text detailing the soil that would need a great amount of goat piss to be stable enough to grow healthy flowers when a hand smacked down on the table. The smack made the scroll fall off the table and an inkwell upturned over her notes. Before the person could talk, killing intent flooded the section.
Gleaming, dark eyes shifted blankly to the unknown person. It was a chuunin, a rookie most likely. He was sweating buckets and looked woozy. "What- do-you-think-you're –doing!" she hissed. "Mission room-" the utterly pathetic chuunin wannabe gasped, clawing at his throat. Ichida scowled angrily, taking in the mess around her and knowing she would have to clean it up. "You! Clean up this ink and don't you fucking show yourself in here again, orders or not!" she barked, slapping him on the back of his head as she stormed past him, gardening scroll already in her hands.
This better be important, I need to get my hands on some goat farmer today- the sooner the better. She mused as she strode over to the nearest window, ignoring the chunnin's whimpers and curses behind her. As she jumped out of the window and bounded over the rooftops, she saw several other ANBU I.T's joining her.
As they all arrived at the mission room, they marched in together, all blank faced and holding a scroll or two. Several jounins and genin teams looked intrigued at the flock before dismissing them. Ichida saw Honura Yanabe grab a near chuunin and spoke quickly with him before letting him go. He turned to the group and addressed them; "We are splitting up, this is a I.R. updated mission. You all know your locations- grab a contact person on spot and commence." He barked, startling a nearby genin team of a hyuuga, aburame and an inuzuka. "Understood!" everyone chirped as one before flashing off in different directions. The mission room was silent for a second. "What the hell just happened, I thought Bori-nii-san was a civilian.." the young Inuzuka muttered flabbergasted.
Iruka smiled at the classroom as his students sat down and talked excitedly to each other. He had the results from last week's test to deliver, and he could honestly say he was pleased with all of them. Even the perpetual troublemaker Konohamaru did well, probably got some help from his posse. Iruka felt his eyebrow give a minute twitch as he imagined what Konohamaru would have done as "punishment" if he'd get a bad grade.
"Arr, Iruka-sensei!- take this: Oiroke no Jutsu!" Konohamaru screamed as a small cloud of smoke enveloped him. Iruka glared, mouth open to yell at him when the clouds parted and- "GAAAAAAH!" he screamed as pressure caused a vein in his nostril to burst, the force of the bloodspurt forcing him a meter back. "Hnf, Iruka-sensei- give me a good grade.. o-ne-gai~3" Fem-Konohamaru blew him a kiss as Iruka laid on his back, leg twitching violently.
Iruka sweatdropped and brushed a finger underneath his nose as an trained reaction to his musings, not noticing the door sliding open and closing as he smiled at the noisy children. "Ah, kids, it's time for class now!" he called lightly, "Settle down~!"
If possible, the decibel level rose even more in the room. He saw Konohamaru throw his head back in a mock sophisticated adult's laugh, but heard his girlish laugh over all the shrieking, banter and talking in the classroom. Iruka felt his smile shatter on his face. "SETTLE DOWN RIGHT NOW!" he roared, his head growing five times the size it usually is. The kids flinched into their seats and went tightlipped. Iruka smiled serenely again, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Now! The results from last week's-" he began but was interrupted.
"Ne, ne- Sensei! Who is that lady?" Moegi called, waving her hand back and forth to him. Iruka frowned at her, shuffling his papers and looking around him. "What lady?"
Moegi blushed even deeper than normal and pointed behind him. Iruka threw himself around and stared into impassive brown eyes. He instantly wanted to cover his face and groan. Of course, the only person that could come and witness his early Monday chaos was her.
Already before Iruka could blink, he was on his back on the ground in the middle of the ground- a soft weight settling on him before he felt a punch hit his throat. As he gagged and his body panicked, a soft hiss made itself known to him. He looked to the right and saw a smoking exploding tag next to him. As he tore himself up, it exploded, covering the entire area with a red fluid. Iruka blinked in shock as he checked his body for injuries, the crowds shocked cries in the background. No wounds on his body, why was there so much-?"Paint. Goddamn paint." he growled as he tried to find his opponent, only to feel a heavy hit on the back of his head as his world turned dark and people cheered. "Winner; Dengen Ichida!"
"Umino Iruka-kun." She greeted him blankly. He stared. She blinked. "Good morning to you." She stated, tilting her head to the left. She looked utterly relaxed in his chair, blue hair falling over her shoulder like a waterfall to her waist. He felt his throat constrict and his face flush. He turned away and coughed into his fist. "-….. Morning, Ichida-chan." He squeaked. He heard his students twitch excitedly and he glared at them over his shoulder.
"Umino-kun." Iruka nodded at her, waiting for her to speak. " I am here for the updated documents of your class." She said, a half smile shining at him politely. "I see you are busy however, and I can either wait here until break or you deliver the documents to my address." She continued, sweeping her eyes over the classroom, taking in all of the students that were leaning forward in their seats, the calculating looks sent at her and Umino. Iruka coughed again, feeling very out of control. "A-ah, of course my break is in 120 minutes-""Umino-kun, I will leave my address here for you, you will come by after school with the documents." She cut him off, rising from the chair. Her blue hair flowed with her and slid down so it barely covered her backside. Iruka turned away before anyone noticed him looking. "Al-alright." He nodded. She nodded sharply, before smiling beautifully at the students and did something that almost made Iruka faint. "Alright children, now work hard~!" she cheered and waved at them, gaining at least three fanboys in the process. "We will~!" they chorused, all smiling.
Iruka cursed inwardly as he felt his eyes get drawn to her backside yet again as she walked out of the classroom. "Sensei." Someone intoned behind him. He turned with a smile to cover up his trepidation as his eyes met the solemn brown of the Sandaime's grandson. "I know what you want." He continued. Iruka frowned at him but couldn't contain the shiver that ran down his spine. Konohamaru looked just like Naruto before he would do something incredibly embarrassing.
"OIROKE NO JUTSU!" Konohamaru roared as he henged. Iruka coughed in the smoke while the class seemed to breath in air to make a suitably shocked response. "Umino-kun~!" a voice cheered in front of him. Iruka flushed purple and choked violently. Ichida peeked over her shoulder at him, her hair blowing in an nonexistent breezed, uncovering smooth, perky skin and a tan back with no lines- "GAAAH!" a spurt of red covered the floor as Iruka slammed into the wall.
Ichida paused in the hallway as she heard a chorus of evil laughter from the classroom she just left. She waited a moment before she shrugged and continued onward toward her apartment.
"Konohamaru-kun! Poor sensei needs help in impressing his girlfriend- we can't knock him out all the time!" Moegi cried as she slapped Iruka around his face. Several other girls joined her and shook the unconscious teacher that was still bleeding steadily from his nostrils, with a content expression on his face. "Even if he is a pervert." One of the girl muttered in disgust. Iruka finally snapped his eyes open and began berating a laughing crowd of children for their behaviour.
Iruka felt relieved as the final bell rang, the students rushing out of the classroom. "Iruka-sensei! Was that lady your girlfriend?" a girl asked with a big smile as she stopped in front of his desk. He had just taken a sip from his glass so he spit out his water and gaped at her. "W-what? No-no!" he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. The girl giggled with her friend before they ran out of the room. Iruka slapped his forehead and groaned quietly. This was not his day. He felt like screaming, one visit that lasted under five minutes from that woman and the whole class lost almost all the respect and fear he installed in them over the past year. He saw one of the civilians picking up their sons throwing him a wide grin and a wink and sighed deeply. As the last student left the room, he slumped completely in his chair. His eyes zoomed onto a little piece of paper in front of him with an address on it.
Ichida had been a sore point for him ever since she beat him soundly at his second try at the chuunin exams. Even though she was younger than him, she outranked him already as a twelve year old, when she impressed everyone in the finals by paintbombing the known prankster Umino Iruka. He remembered waking up and facing Kotetsu who, in his typical fashion, proclaimed his undying love on this blue haired goddess. For some reason Iruka couldn't help but to hit him in the mouth until he shut up. Needless to say, Kotetsu still flinched when Iruka glared at him, and to this day he had arranged seven meetings between Iruka and Ichida without them knowing it. It was awkward. Well, awkward for Iruka, not Ichida. Ichida was the type of person that didn't get fazed by anything.
Iruka felt his thought go through all of the meetings, that Kotetsu had stressed to him repeatedly were "Dates, Iruka, dates! You should totally get with her~!" before he was once again cowering underneath Iruka's glare.
Brown eyes meeting his over the café table. He felt a drop of sweat slide down his neck and fought the urge to vomit over his shoes. He saw Kotetsu grinning at him from the other side of the room and sent him The Glare to make him behave. He still didn't know how he ended up here, on valentine's day, with Ichida Dengen. He gulped soundly, seeing her eat another strawberry while staring at him.
"Umino Iruka-kun." She said, pausing to lick her lips free of strawberry, ignoring Kotetsu's squeal. "Why are we here?" she asked, eyes twinkling as she leaned her chin on her hand. Iruka gurgled and abruptly chugged back his cup of scalding coffee. "GAAAAAARGHHH!".
Another time, this time a picnic in the park. He vaguely remembered Naruto pointing and laughing, after looking extremely bewildered at the sight of his teacher on a d-date. On a picnic. His eye twitched as her lips parted to let the tea flow into her mouth. She was wearing a dress, and her hair was in a braid. As Gai came sprinting to interview him, he took his chance to explode in smoke and disappear.
The first time, straight after losing in the finals. Kotetsu was complaining about losing three teeth as they wandered straight into the bar. Iruka was glaring at everything and everyone, ordering sake by slapping some notes on the bar. "Oh, Iruka-kun." She had exclaimed, sitting naturally comfortable at the bar at damned twelve years old. "You're not angry at me, are you?" she asked. She was ridiculously cute, but he would never say that. A blush rose in his cheeks as she stared at him. Kotetsu was looking between them with a grin. "AH! Ichida-chan! Iruka was just saying how he only wanted a ki-." Kotetsu had barely enough time to say before Iruka socked him in the mouth again, blushed and smiled weakly at Ichida and ran away.
Iruka groaned again as his mind went through the list. It was not a good life to be Iruka, as long as Ichida was here.