Title: The Horoscope According To Severus Snape.
Author: Liz Skywalker
Author E-mail: lizskywalker@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I love Severus. However, I don't own him. Shame, isn't it?
Summery: A week's horoscope, written by Severus Snape. Humor.
A/N: This was written for the JC Hogwarts House Cup. The task was to "create
horoscope for any member of your House as s/he would write it" and was worth twenty
points. Since I was a Slytherin Prefect, I chose to write it as my Head of House, Severus
S. Snape. :)
May 1st - Mercury is shadowed, so will be splashed by Incompetent Longbottom's
Shrinking Solution, which will hit nose. Will pretend not to notice anything.
May 2nd - Venus is visible. Will not be harmed in any way b/c teaching only Ravenclaws
and Hufflepuffs. Thank God for Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
May 3rd - Ditto. Thank God.
May 4th - Pluto slips its shadow. Will slip on way to breakfast. Dumbledore will have a
hidden hand in this. Will remind self to never, ever, switch Dumbledore's soup for a
coughing potion again.
May 5th - The stars will decide they don't like me and have Potter screw up. Figure out if
can get Filch to take this detention. Note to self: having Neptune switch places with Pluto
will always spell doom. Check with astronomy records to make sure to be sick next time
this happens.
May 6th - Jupiter's moons are in the 7th House. The 7th years will annoy me about
N.E.W.T.s. That Gryffindor Head Boy will sneak up on me and do a persuasion spell.
Remember to duck.
May 7th - ah, weekend, and the planets are aligning. Nothing will happen and I will be
free to relax in the tub with Mr. Squeeky and "The Dark Lord's Greatest Hits, Volume
666.6". Will wonder if Lucius will write again about Draco, will decide that I don't really
care and will just spend the day relaxing.
A/N: In case you're interested, here's a link to the JC Hogwarts House Cup: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=7221316
Author: Liz Skywalker
Author E-mail: lizskywalker@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I love Severus. However, I don't own him. Shame, isn't it?
Summery: A week's horoscope, written by Severus Snape. Humor.
A/N: This was written for the JC Hogwarts House Cup. The task was to "create
horoscope for any member of your House as s/he would write it" and was worth twenty
points. Since I was a Slytherin Prefect, I chose to write it as my Head of House, Severus
S. Snape. :)
May 1st - Mercury is shadowed, so will be splashed by Incompetent Longbottom's
Shrinking Solution, which will hit nose. Will pretend not to notice anything.
May 2nd - Venus is visible. Will not be harmed in any way b/c teaching only Ravenclaws
and Hufflepuffs. Thank God for Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
May 3rd - Ditto. Thank God.
May 4th - Pluto slips its shadow. Will slip on way to breakfast. Dumbledore will have a
hidden hand in this. Will remind self to never, ever, switch Dumbledore's soup for a
coughing potion again.
May 5th - The stars will decide they don't like me and have Potter screw up. Figure out if
can get Filch to take this detention. Note to self: having Neptune switch places with Pluto
will always spell doom. Check with astronomy records to make sure to be sick next time
this happens.
May 6th - Jupiter's moons are in the 7th House. The 7th years will annoy me about
N.E.W.T.s. That Gryffindor Head Boy will sneak up on me and do a persuasion spell.
Remember to duck.
May 7th - ah, weekend, and the planets are aligning. Nothing will happen and I will be
free to relax in the tub with Mr. Squeeky and "The Dark Lord's Greatest Hits, Volume
666.6". Will wonder if Lucius will write again about Draco, will decide that I don't really
care and will just spend the day relaxing.
A/N: In case you're interested, here's a link to the JC Hogwarts House Cup: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=7221316