So even if I am in love with you, all this to say, what's it to you

Observe the blood, the rose tattoo, of fingerprints on me from you

Other evidence has shown, that you and I are still alone

We skirt around the danger zone, and don't talk about it later

And I tried so hard to resist when you held me in your handsome fist

And reminded me of the night we kissed, and of why I should be leaving

- Suzanne Vega

Gail was sitting on the ledge behind the stairs, feet dangling over the five story drop, bottle of tequila held loosely between her legs. She often came here when the world became too much. When she wanted to hide. When she wanted to think. She knew that it was dangerous, and possibly stupid to be perched up here on the edge of the roof like this, drinking, but that was part of the appeal.

Nick had left her again, or maybe she had finally left him, after he had decidedly abandoned her – for the umpteenth time, again. She wasn't sure. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? And why was she always the one who got hurt in the end? Sure, she had cheated on him, with that disgusting little man. But what was that one time in comparison with the six months he had just spent with Andy? She was now convinced that they had wasted no time before hopping into bed together the minute they were alone on that assignment. How could she have been so blind? And why did it take that stupid little bitch, Chloe, pointing it out for her to see what everyone else seemed to already know? She was sure that they were all laughing at her behind her back, again.

She took a deep pull on her bottle and let the liquor burn all the way down to the hollow pit in her stomach. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wood of the shed behind her. Fuck.

She took another swig and decided that she should really be getting out of here, the chill of the crisp fall air was beginning to bite at her ears and fingers and nose. Just then her phone began to vibrate. She considered simply tossing it into the abyss for one reckless moment, before reaching into her pocket and looking at the screen.

Holly.

Fuck.

Holly, who was smart, and funny, and weird. Holly who had fucking kissed her at Frank and Noelle's wedding, leaving her stunned and tongue-tied. Holly, who she had been hanging out with, almost on a daily basis lately; and Holly who she liked a whole lot more than she knew she should probably admit, even to herself.

"Whatcha doin' Slugger?" the text flashed on her phone.

So fucking smug. She was never going to let Gail live that down. Gail put the bottle down on the ledge next to her.

"Nothing much. What's up?" She shot back.

Why? Why did she let this nerd have such a profound effect on her? She felt herself beginning to smile in spite of herself.

"No date tonight? I was just leaving the morgue and I thought you might be hungry." Holly replied.

"No, after I ditched Robin Hood last week, I have been avoiding my mother ever since." She chuckled as she typed

"Can you be at Mae's for burgers in 30?" Holly wrote back

"See you there." Gail felt an unexpected jolt in her solar plexus and her heart speed up with anticipation.

Really? Really?! Come on Gail, get it together! She pulled her feet up and shimmied back onto the roof. She stood up shaking her head and laughing softly to herself. What am I, some kind of freakin' Disney princess? Just because seeing Holly makes me happy doesn't mean anything. Does it? Just because I was hoping to hear from her, that I can't stop thinking about her, that I can't stop thinking about the way she likes to casually touch my arm or about her lips… NO! I'm not a fucking lesbian! Not that there is anything wrong with that. But I'm not! I can't be falling in love… with… her.

Fuck.

Lost in this train of thought, Gail barely noticed as the bottle of tequila slipped from her fingers and smashed on the roof at her feet. The noise from the breaking glass and the cold liquor splashing on the leg of her jeans woke her from her stupor.

Great. Now she would have to clean this up, and change her clothes.

After settling on skin tight leather black jeans, a V-neck indigo jumper, that cling in all the right places, and her favorite boots, she carefully re-applied her eyeliner, red lipstick, and gave herself a quick squirt of perfume that she knew Holly liked. Why did she care? She didn't know. It wasn't like this was a date. Was it? Well, whatever it was, she was going to look good, she decided as she threw on her jacket and gave her hair one final brush so it hung soft and loose around her face. She dialed for a cab and hoped that Holly would have her car with her this evening. It would be good if she could get Holly to drive her home later. She took a deep breath to try to stop where her mind was going with that. Shit.

Well, it didn't matter anyway. Even if she was having some kind of stupid girl crush, she was sure that Holly would never feel that way about her. Sure, Holly had kissed her at the wedding, and she had kissed her back, but that was all just champagne and snark, and reflex. Wasn't it? Ok, so that kiss had made her entire body tingle and flush. And, yes, it was annoyingly occupying far too much of her head right now. But, it's not like either one of them had even mentioned it since. In-fact, when Gail had seen her the next day, Holly had gone on spouting forensic blah, blah, blah, and splitting her chicken sandwich with Gail like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

The buzzer rang announcing Gail's cab had arrived. She gave herself one more quick once over in the mirror, and decided to steel herself into doing what she did best. When in doubt, deny everything.