How dared they.
Those big disgusting good-for-nothing pieces of expired stinky shit.
Yeah, that's right. Expired shit. As bad as they get.
Now, he understand. He is a guy. He gets it that sometimes one needs to clear his vision by admiring nature's surrounding beauties.
Like, for instance… blooming spring trees, fields of fresh roses, lagoons with stimulating cool water… drop-dead beautiful female teammates (please observe his hard-to-spot original sarcasm/irony/Sai-ish-stuff. Naruto calls it gay, but he has a small penis, and we all know that guys with small penises have no right whatsoever in this dangerously promiscuous world).
So yeah. He understand THIS.
One has the right to admire somebody of opposite sex. Even if it's in the middle of the vegetable/fruits market. Or on a Monday morning with 1st grade children hurrying all over the place in order to get on time to school.
Yeah, he totally understand it.
I mean, it's hard not to admire a girl like that. Especially if she has a million dollar smile, a million dollar body and a million dollar attitude.
Of course.
It's understandable.
He gets it.
Totally.
He even understands those guys' reactions. It was sooooo expected. Even the boners were absolutely normal. He couldn't blame them.
Their remarks? He knew each and everyone of them.
Like, for instance: "Fuck, that girl's got killer legs!" or "Dude, did you see her hair? Gorgeous!" or "Those are the best pair of tits I saw since Angelina Jolie in 'Original Sin'" or "Megan Fox should feel ashamed for considering herself beautiful" or… umh. Yeah. Many more. And as he listened more attentively, a phonic pollution which consisted in nasty words for describing the female anatomy and terms used for portraying everyday sexual act corrupted his (innocent) ears.
An insane rage ran trough his veins, but Ihe though that keeping his normal calm would be more suited in a situation like this, considering that the guys he would pick a fight with were half his age and half hisheight.
Take a deep breath.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Great. Now do it again.
Pfiu. He's fine, no need to worry.
"Damn I'd fuck her till she forgets who she is!"
Snap. He turns his head. Slowly. He's being very discreet as you can probably guess.
The kid has a wide smirk upon his pimpled (disgustingly ugly) face. He's got reddish-brown hair, blue eyes, a couple of pounds more than normal and his incredible height reaches (drums please)… 5'2 ½ feet. He looks extremely dangerous. Especially with his Mickey Mouse cap and Twister Ice-Cream.
His friends are just as fearful looking.
Ahrgh. Fucked up 13-year-old low life motherfucking punks.
But no.
He understood.
He truly did.
Any sexually-obsessed male (no matter the age or experience, in this case, the lack of it) would feel an intense attraction towards his teammate. Anyone with a brain and a dick (yet, Sai still wondered, Naruto had none still he had liked her since…forever).
Recap.
Sai could accept the fact that while doing Monday groceries together with his only female teammate he would get rather unwanted attention from more than half of Konoha's male population. He would accept the fact that the so called males were (in some situations) immature 6th graders that hadn't yet hit puberty yet the wish to know more about the female reproductive system was what persuaded these devilish teenagers into watching (R-rated) movies from tentacle porn to Animal Planet documentaries, he would accept the fact that they would admire and have serious discussions over a random, yet, eye-catching woman.
Yes. Indeed. He'd accept this.
THAT was NOT HIS problem.
But the thing that drove him completely insane was their guts to say things like that considering the kind of woman Sakura was.
He glanced over at her. She was buying some strawberries from a bubbly looking old woman. She definitely didn't notice the kind of attention she received from those underage brats. But luckily for her, he did (they we're 'analyzing' the situation right behind him, for Christ's sake!). And he was going to do something about it.
Years of spending time with her and building a powerful friendship wouldn't go to waste.
And as much as he hated to admit it, Sakura and Naruto had indeed changed his life, and later on, Sasuke had a huge contribution as well.
"Brats." He turned towards them, taking two smooth steps towards their semi-circled displayed group. "Shut. The. Hell. Up."
His tone was, surprisingly calm, considering his growing temper as the brats' reactions only grew from slight shock to mischievous mockery.
What seemed to be their leader, a blond-haired boy with millions of freckles covering his somewhat rosy cheeks and sweaty forehead, took a step forward.
"Yeah, sure, you dick, go fuck yourself."
Sai wasn't exactly taken aback. He knew this new generation of kids was somehow more bold and rude; he wasn't expecting a bed of roses but this kind of vulgar language coming from kids almost half his age was a bit shocking, even for him.
Fine. They wanna play rough. He'll play rough.
"Punks, what's your fucking problem?"
"Get a life, old man. We're checking out that hot chick over th-"
"I can hear that, you stupid primitive mediocre scumbags. I just don't like what you're doing. A woman is not a discussion object over which you argue over in order get supremacy. Especially a woman like her."
"I bet you never got laid in your entire life, poor man." A plum boy with curly pastel-colored hair added with irony dripping from his rather high-pitched voice.
"I'm very familiar when it comes to treating women with respect and dignity." Sai answered, confidence filling the air.
"Yeah, sure, gramps, no wonder you're all alone in the market getting boners while watching old men sell carrots. That's sick."
"Now, listen here, punk." Sai argued with unnecessary growing anger. "The young woman you are talking about, you know the one with 'killer legs', 'perfect ass' and 'awesome boobs' happens to be one of my first and real friends. I do not accept you assholes to bring her down like this, no mater how deep your urge to release your growing sexual teenage tension out of you is. She is not an object of desire, although countless men have battled in the hope of winning her attention, care, and most importantly, her heart. She is beautiful both on the inside and on the outside, and even if I totally understand you, I mean, let's face it, she's terrific, I won't, I repeat, let you lower her to your undeveloped level of refinement, since she is far beyond an usual man's reach. She's out of, dare I say, everybody's league. And I think there is no need to further warn. Another word out of your dirty mouths about her or any other woman, and I promise, you will regret the second you hit puberty."
What an awkward silence, Sai thought. None of the half a dozen punks dared to say a word after his, c'mon, let's face it, impressive speech (for Sai, at least). What intrigued him the slightest bit was to see than none of the kids was focusing their attention on him, but behind him, with eyes wide in shock and sweat drops covering their foreheads.
With no spoken words whatsoever, each and every one of them ran in opposite and chaotic directions, with something comparable to fear visible on their features.
"HA! Teaches those fuckers to fuck with me!" Sai exclaimed victoriously as he turned around to see where Sakura had gotten to.
To his surprise, she was right behind him, a sweet blush forming on her pale cheeks.
"Erm-argh-umh—Sa-Sakura-th-this-is-n-not-wh-what-you-think!" he managed to mumble as he too gained some avoidable color on his burning cheeks.
"I bought some strawberries and apricots. Just perfect for that pie you and Naruto die for, right?" she smiled cheerfully, trying to change the subject, since she knew this was very thin ground with Sai.
"Oh, yeah, great…umh-really. Terrific."
"Come on, let's pick up Naruto." She suggested as her shoulder brushed right pass him as if nothing had happened, as if she was deaf, in this case.
"Sakura… I, you know… th-those kids we're sooo…" Sai couldn't stop from mentioning.
"Sai, I know. I heard everything." She said, turning to face him. "and I truly thank you, it was a true gesture of friendship, what you did over there." She forced herself a smile. "Yet I know how difficult this can be for you, so if it's okay with you, you can still call me 'Bitch' or 'Ugly', I don't mind, at all, actually."
Sai let out his breath, relieved.
"Pie you said? Nobody makes apricots pie quite like you, Ugly."
Inwardly smile. Ah, the joy.