"So I reckon Tyler's going to outshine Jimmy pretty fast, and you know how Jimmy is, he's going to have histrionics. What do you think?"
"Huh?" Petey's vague response was really only a courtesy; he didn't take his eyes off Jade Chung for a second as she wandered around the small locker room making casual conversation.
Chris sighed. "Dude, if you don't quit staring, she's going to come over here and bitchslap you into next week. And she slaps a lot harder than you'd expect. Trust me."
"I can't help it, she's so pretty."
"You mean she's a hot piece of ass."
"No, I mean she's pretty." With great difficulty, Petey tore his gaze from Jade and tried to pay attention to Chris. "Don't you think she's pretty?"
"I do, but this whole conversation is redundant. You'd never get anywhere with her. She's not into midgets."
"Well, fuck you too. Just because the closest you came to getting any action this weekend is when your not so secret admirer tried to get you to practise headscissors with him..." Petey trailed off, and his scowl morphed into a malicious grin. "Speak of the devil."
Chris twisted in his seat to look behind him, and he groaned inwardly on seeing Alex heading in his direction. He hurriedly turned back around, only to find Petey getting to his feet. "Hey! Where the hell are you going?"
"Going to invite Jade to check out the contents of my pants, duh. You think I'm going to stick around here and help you out after that midget remark? Fuck that."
"Get back here, you little..." Chris had to drop his voice, because Alex would be within earshot at any moment. "Traitor!" he hissed.
Petey smirked at him, and then zeroed in on Jade, pretending Chris didn't even exist. "Hi Jade, ready for the show tonight? You know, those are some lovely shoes."
It wasn't a bad tactic, Chris reflected, but probably not one best utilised when the object of your desire was wearing standard wrestling shoes.
"I am so fucking tired," Alex announced, dropping into the seat Petey had just vacated.
Chris smiled, reminding himself that despite Alex's borderline psychotic crush on him, Alex was a lot of fun to be around. "You were probably up all night partying, so it's nobody's fault but your own. You should eat something, get some nutrients into yourself to counteract all the alcohol."
"Yeah, someone said we had catering today." Alex looked around sceptically. "I assume they were being sarcastic."
"Well, Joey made a ton of sandwiches. I guess that counts."
Alex wrinkled his nose. "I'll pass. I imagine you probably already ate my share anyway."
"I was hungry," Chris said defensively. He wasn't in the habit of turning down free food.
"You're always hungry, and you never stop eating. You're like a children's book, The Very Hungry Wrestler. I'm expecting you to turn into a butterfly any day now."
"Please, we're in PWG. I'll turn into a mariposa," Chris corrected.
"Of course you will, what was I thinking? So anyway, we need to talk."
"No we don't," Chris countered immediately, but he couldn't think of a sensible reason to refuse a more serious conversation with Alex without bringing up the fact that he knew what it would be about, and that in itself would start the conversation he was so eager to avoid. He tried to change the subject. "Nice little match we had last night, huh? I was surprised you spat at Tyler more than Jimmy."
"Well, yeah, if I'd spat at Jimmy that much, he'd have cried. But we still need to talk." Alex leaned forward, as though he was trying to reinforce the concept that Chris couldn't escape this conversation. "Don't worry, man, it's not as bad as you think. You might be pleasantly surprised."
Chris still hesitated. He'd known when they first met that Alex was someone he'd want to be friends with for years to come, probably quite close friends at that, and for a long time he appeared to have been right. Granted, right from the start Alex had seemed to put Chris on a pedestal; it was a little weird to be so admired, but it was harmless enough. Chris had put it down to professional respect, and had assumed that it would dissipate as Alex's faith in his own skills grew. When it had finally dawned on him some two years later that Alex had a thing for him, he was so disappointed. He didn't know how to be friends with someone who was always looking for a way to get closer to him. Petey, it turned out, had known all along and neglected to mention it, the disloyal Canadian fuckwit.
Although it was awkward, it hadn't been too bad to begin with. Alex knew where Chris' boundaries were, and he seemed to try hard not to push at them. For about the last six months though, there had been something increasingly desperate about Alex. His hints, both verbal and physical, were growing less and less subtle, despite knowing perfectly well that Chris was straight, and as a result it had become all but impossible for them to have a conversation without Alex's hopeless crush being constantly at the forefront of Chris' mind, the elephant in the room.
Chris knew things were coming to a head, and while in a way he just wanted it to be over and done with, there were two things that made him long to avoid the impending disintegration of their friendship. The first was entirely professional - Chris had a lot of pride in the titles they held, and he didn't know how well he and Alex could work together if they had a falling out. He didn't want their title reign to be cut short because of the personal crap between them.
The second reason, and Alex would have been both pleased and surprised to discover that Chris considered this the more important reason, was that Chris really, really liked Alex. There had always been a part of Chris that hoped Alex's desire was a passing phase, and that when it was over they could let their friendship solidify, the way Chris felt sure it would once all this silly crush nonsense was out of the way. Lately, the odds of that happening seemed negligible, but he was still reticent to let go.
Unfortunately for Chris, he let his indecision hold him in silence for too long, and Alex went ahead without waiting for his assent.
"I know it's no surprise to you that I've been in love with you for a long time."
Chris shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Actually, hearing Alex phrase it that way was a surprise; Chris had never let that word even cross his mind in connection with Alex's feelings for him. It had been far less disconcerting to think of Alex's fascination as something frivolous. That way, it was easier to see it as being temporary, and he'd never had to consider how hard it must have been for Alex. He felt a stab of guilt for having been so unsympathetic to someone he called a friend, but there was no accusation or melancholy in Alex's face. If anything, he looked more content than Chris had seen him in a long while. Unsure what to say, Chris nodded awkwardly.
"Well, I want you to know that I'm done with that. All I want to be with you now is friends. Can we do that?"
Chris' first thought was that it was a trick, another attempt to burrow past his defences, but the candour in Alex's expression was undeniable; Alex was a terrible liar. Despite being caught completely off guard, Chris leapt at Alex's platonic invitation. "Absolutely, you have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that." He smiled affectionately, aware that Alex probably needed reassurance that he meant it. "What brought on this sudden change?"
Alex shrugged. "It's not sudden. It's been coming for a while, I guess I just needed a catalyst to make me take the plunge."
He fell briefly silent, but Chris' raised eyebrows encouraged him to continue.
"I've known for a while that it had gone on too long. Either something needed to happen between us, or I had to put it behind me. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself if I let it die. Didn't want to put myself out there and take risks on new people. I think that was part of the appeal all along, the fact that I knew you'd never want me. It was safer. So I tried really hard to make things happen instead. Sorry about that, by the way, I know I've driven you up the wall."
Chris shook his head dismissively, still having a hard time coming to grips with the shift in their relationship. "Forget it, dude, I'm just glad we've got to this point." It was difficult to take in the idea that maybe the kind of friendship he'd always thought he and Alex should have could be a possibility now, but Chris was entirely genuine in his pleasure. "So what made you bite the bullet?"
Alex glanced around them to make sure nobody was within earshot. Chris was amused by it, considering everything Alex had just said without bothering to check whether he was being overheard. "I knew I had to make the break, I was just too pussy to actually do it, right? Well, last night we were all partying..."
"You met someone," Chris interrupted, a delighted grin breaking out on his face.
"Not exactly met someone, it's not like I didn't already know him. Anyway, we were all partying, and it was getting late - or early, whatever - and people were pussying out. You passed out with your face in a potted plant, remember?"
"Not really, but go on."
"Eventually, we were the only ones still going, and then we had to have a birthday drink together, because it turns out we share the same one."
"Dude, it's November. Your birthday's in May."
Alex looked confused. "What's your point?"
Chris smiled, shaking his head again, and Alex went on.
"So anyway, we ended up having quite a lot of birthday drinks, and you know how I get kind of ornery when I'm shitfaced. I called him an overrated fatass who had no business being in the ring with real wrestlers - which isn't true, by the way, but you know, drunk - and then he called me an arrogant, ignorant little cunt who should have been flushed down the toilet at birth, and... well, you know how it is, one thing led to another."
"Er, right..." Chris couldn't personally imagine being in an exchange like that with someone and then having sex with them, but Alex had always been special.
"I assumed he'd just wanted to get off and I was right there, but no, turns out he's genuinely into me." Alex smiled fondly. "I'd forgotten what that felt like. I mean, I fuck guys who are interested in me all the time, but it's different when it's somebody you respect and give a shit about. You've done more than your fair share of rats, you know what I'm talking about, right?"
Chris zoned out for a second, trying to remember the last time he'd had sex and actually meant something by it. "Yeah," he said softly. Maybe he should have been a little more understanding with Petey about Jade. "I'm happy for you, man. You deserve it."
"Thanks. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, or if it'll even last a month for that matter, but it's nice to feel like it's possible. I want that chance. It's definitely what I needed to kick my ass into moving on. So no more mooning over you and making a nuisance of myself, I promise." Alex grinned. "I'll probably always have a little bit of a crush on you though."
He wouldn't have admitted it, but Chris found that sort of reassuring. Although he'd never want anything to happen with Alex, maybe he'd taken comfort over the past couple of years in the knowledge that Alex wanted him. Like Alex had said, it was different with somebody you respect and care for. The realisation of how much he valued Alex hit him hard, but he already found the conversation uncomfortable and emasculating, and putting his regard for Alex into words would make it ten times worse. He cleared his throat. "I was thinking about what you said, about asking management to use us as a team when we go back to Orlando. I think you're right."
Alex smiled broadly. "You do?"
"Yeah. We work together really well, and it's not like being on the road all the time with one of my best friends would be a chore." He punched Alex's leg affectionately, and Alex beamed happily at Chris describing him in such terms. "We need to figure out a new team name though, because 'Panic in Detroit' kinda sucks."
"And I guess we can't keep on changing it every damn show. I'll get right on it. If you're interested, I still have some ideas left over from the team with Spanky that never really happened." Alex's eyes lit up as he looked over Chris' shoulder, and for a moment Chris almost envied him. Maybe it was time for Chris to start thinking about dating more seriously again too. "Gotta go, dude, catch up with you in a little while."
Chris smiled in farewell, but Alex didn't even see it, his eyes remaining locked on the doorway. As Chris looked up, he saw Petey still talking to Jade, but she didn't look massively impressed. After taking a couple of seconds to mock Petey internally - apparently his conversation with Alex hadn't made him too sympathetic to his friends' romantic plights - he turned to follow Alex's progress, but the sight he was met with resulted in a startled double-take.
Alex stood in the doorway, watching the room but whispering discreetly in Super Dragon's ear, and the slight inclination of Dragon's head suggested he was actually listening to what Alex had to say. Chris fervently hoped Alex never told his new boyfriend about the crush he claimed he'd always have on Chris; Chris was too young and too beautiful to die.
"That's the most terrifying thing I've ever fucking seen."
Glancing to the side to see who'd spoken, Chris found B-Boy staring at Alex and Dragon in horror. "Tell me about it."
"Those two should never be allowed to conspire, ever. So are they boys now?"
As far as Chris was aware, B-Boy was pretty good about his gay and bisexual colleagues, but he wasn't about to tell B-Boy what was really going on and out Alex - or, God forbid, Dragon - without explicit permission. "I think they're getting on pretty well, yeah."
"I'm too sober for this shit. I'm going to pretend I never saw it." Rubbing a hand over his head, B-Boy wandered away. Chris wished he was in a position to pretend he hadn't seen it either.
All in all, Chris was glad his friendship with Alex had been salvaged - not only for the friendship itself, but in light of Alex's new ally, for the sake of his continued well-being too.