Wishes
a Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann oneshot
*Contains spoilers for episode 8*
Kamina sighs as he feels blood flow down his side. He wishes he could turn off everyone's comlink so he can talk to her. He wishes he could tell Yoko he's sorry. He won't get to kiss her again. He wants to apologize for leaving her alone with a broken heart. He wants to tell her that he wishes he could stay so he could hold her close, breathing in her scent again. He wants to tell her that before he dies. But he can't turn off the team's communication in the middle of this fight, so he can't tell her that. Instead, he just wishes…
Simon sighs as he lies in bed one night. He wishes he could turn back time to that moment. He wishes he had been stronger. That he hadn't gotten obsessed with Kamina and Yoko kissing. Looking back, it was natural. They were close in age and had been flirting since their first meeting. He wishes he could turn back time to save Kamina so he and Yoko could be together. But he can't turn back time to that moment in time, so he can't keep those two together. Instead, he just wishes…
Yoko can't cry. She wishes she could let her tears fall in an endless river. She wishes she could feel something other than dull pain again. But the memory of their kiss remains, taunting her with its sweetness. Because she knows she'll never see him again, yell at him again, hold him again, kiss him again. And that knowledge is killing her slowly from the inside out. She wants Kamina to come back to her because maybe then she'd be able to cry again. Tears of joy as she holds him, as he holds her in his arms, as they hold each other. But he can't come back so she just stays numb inside, unable to cry the tears she so desperately wants to. Instead, she just wishes…
Kamina summons all of his strength to move, feeling his body protest every movement. He wishes he could just rest, just sleep forever, but he knows he has things to do before he goes. So he moves, calling out to his brother. He won't let him fall into despair at this crucial moment. He'll fight until his last breath to keep Simon strong. He'll fight until they win so that his friends, his family, won't lose their faith at this time. He'd love to give in to the pain and just close his eyes to everything, knowing he lived a good life. But he can't leave everyone leaderless and lost at this crucial time, so he forces himself to move. Instead, he just wishes…
Simon watches Yoko continue on without Kamina. He wishes he could apologize to her for taking her lover from her. He wants to make it up to her, but he knows he can't. If he had been stronger, if he hadn't pulled Kamina away from his fight to help, perhaps Kamina would still be with them, laughing. If he hadn't been so selfish and needy, maybe Yoko would still have her love. But he can't ever atone for tearing Kamina away from her forever, so he just stays silent. Instead, he just wishes…
Yoko knows Simon blames himself for Kamina's death. She wishes she could tell him she doesn't blame him. But the truth is she does blame him a little. If he had been stronger, maybe Kamina wouldn't have had save him. She knows it's not right. Kamina might have still died. She can't help thinking though that if Simon hadn't wavered the way he always did, Kamina wouldn't have been on the Dai Gurren at that fateful moment. He wouldn't have been pierced through and she wouldn't have a hole in her chest that would never heal. Kamina would still be hers. She knows that even though she only sometimes thinks these thoughts when she thinks she'll die from the pain Kamina left her with, the fact she even thinks them means that they lurk in her heart. She wishes she would tell Simon to stop torturing himself. But she can't lie to Simon, so she doesn't try to console him. Instead, she just wishes…
Kamina bites back a groan. He wishes he could talk to Simon face to face one last time. He wants to tell him that he doesn't mind dying like this. He doesn't blame Simon. It was his dumb decision that got his body torn apart, not his brother's. He wants to tell Simon to be his own man. He knows Simon will be depressed and blame himself. He knows his brother will feel like he has to fill the empty space that his death will bring. He doesn't want that though. He wants Simon to be himself. That dorky drilling miner that never gives up and always comes through when you need him most. He wants to impart all this to his little adorable blood brother. But his time is coming too fast, so he doesn't have the time to tell Simon all of that. Instead, he just wishes…
Simon closes his eyes. He wishes he could talk to Kamina again. He wants to tell him how much he misses him and how much he wishes he hadn't brought his death about. He wishes he could tell him how much he loves him. He wants to let him know that he's the reason why he can keep going. He wants to let him know what an inspiration he is. He would tell him that he doesn't mind him being with Yoko anymore. He has so many things he wants to share with Kamina. But Kamina can't hear him anymore, so he just keeps these words to himself. Instead, he just wishes…
Yoko fires her rifle again, blinking back tears. She wishes she had paid better attention that day. She wishes she had watched Kamina's back better. She had promised him she would. But she let down her guard for a moment, and in that moment, she lost him forever. She should have been alert, pulling that trigger to save his life. If she had kept her promise, she'd still have him. Because she failed him, she blames herself the most for his death. She'll never forgive herself for letting Kamina down. But she can't see through metal to watch his back, so she tries to forgive herself for not seeing the danger. Instead, she just wishes…
Kamina lets his eyes close finally. He wishes it wasn't his time yet. He still had so much to do. He wanted to love Yoko the way she deserved. He wanted to be with her forever. He wanted to see Simon grow up to be a strong man. He wanted to be partners with him for years to come. He wanted to see his group on the Dai Gurren as a family. He wanted to grow old and die peacefully. He wanted to beat the Spiral King. But his body's finally failing him and giving up the fight to breathe, so he lets go of his dreams and regrets. Instead, he just sleeps forever.
Simon drifts into dreams. He wishes his time will be full. He wants to smile at everyone when he leaves. He wants to say it was worth all the pain. He wants Kamina to wait for him to catch him up. He wants to greet him with a smile. But he still has a while before he reaches the other side, so he just sleeps. Instead, he dreams of Kamina.
Yoko rests in her room. She wishes for a day when the pain is healed. She wants to see Simon whole again. She wants to cry and smile and laugh again like she used to. She wants to sleep too. She wants to join Kamina someday and yell at him for leaving her. She wants to love him until the day she dies and beyond. But she doesn't want to leave this world just yet, so she plans for the day when she does. Instead, she dreams of a kiss that lasted forever but ended too soon.
The End
A/N: I should be drawing, but I was really upset after Kamina died (I watched that episode today) so I wanted to write something about it. I grew to love Kamina so I actually cried when he died. (Shocking when I rarely cry.) But I focused on the trio because I love their interactions and Yoko and Simon were the two most important people in Kamina's life. I bombarded you with framing and repetition… sorry… I just liked the rhythm of the words….