It almost felt as if time was frozen. There was no one else in the world other than Chloe and the little bundle that lay on her lap, stirring slightly in her blanket. It felt so intensely personal, yet private at the same time. There was no one else in the room other than her and this precious gift. Even though Beca, Beca's mother; Claire, and several hospital staff also stood in the delivery room. Chloe wasn't trying to be rude by avoiding them but she couldn't take her eyes off this piece of art. This piece of art she created, and is now displaying to the entire world. She is absolutely perfect.
"Oh Chloe, she's so tiny." Claire said softly from the side of the bed. She wasn't wrong, throughout most of her pregnancy the doctors were always cautious about the small size of the fetus. She was very much on the small side of the scale. She was only 15 inches long.
Chloe smiled and nodded but never broke her gaze from the newborn. Beca stood awkwardly next to her mother. This entire ordeal changed her a bit and it was only really catching up to her there, seeing Chloe with her baby. Chloe's baby.
"Have you chosen a name yet, sweetie" one of the nurse asked her. She was filling out the forms. Chloe looked up at her finally breaking her gaze from the baby.
"Nella Mae." Chloe whispered softly. The nurse gave a slight smirk and went back to her form filling. Chloe ran a hand over the baby's capped head. She looked so peaceful.
Beca looked a bit perplexed. Nella wasn't at the top of any of the name lists she had forced Beca to endure for the last three months. In fact Beca wasn't even too sure she had ever even heard the name before.
"Hella Nella-bella" Claire cooed softly at the baby, she stroked her cheek adoringly with her finger as she moved closer to the head of Chloe's bed.
"So, Nella?" Beca asked finally speaking up. Chloe turned her head very slightly to get a better look at Beca. There was a small smile printed on her face. She gave a little nod.
"It means bright light" Chloe told her. "Do you like it?" Chloe asked hopefully. She wanted Beca to like her name.
"It's definitely a Chloe name. It's cute." Beca informed her. She inched her way a little closer to Chloe getting a little closer to the baby.
Beca thought all newborns looked like potatoes with humanoid features and little Nella was no exception. Of course she couldn't tell Chloe that who was staring at this baby with such adoration and pride. But her hands were so tiny as they peeked out of the blue blanket they wrapped her in, they ran out of pink. Her little button nose scrunched and Beca found herself as enthralled as Chloe was with this beings every movement. This tiny person came out of her best friend.
"It's nice to meet you princess." Beca told the babe. "You kept us all waiting an awfully long time, but I'm very glad you're here"
Chloe giggled at the one sided conversation.
"I am too." Chloe added to the baby, even though she knew she couldn't comprehend what was being said at her. Beca stuck her finger out to the tiny hand that was peeking out of the blanket and shook it formally. Chloe giggled further and looked up at Beca. "You nerd." she mumbled quietly to herself. Beca grinned.
"I can't believe she is here." Chloe whispered all grins. Until the baby stirred and started making unhappy faces. Her face bunched up tightly turning bright red and a croaky cry escaped from her. Chloe froze, her face filled with panic.
She looked up at Beca who looked equally as helpless and then over to Claire.
"May I?" she asked her arms outstretched towards the wailing infant. Chloe mustered a small nod but when Claire delicately picked the baby off her lap Chloe had a longing for her to be back with her.
She watched eagle-eyed as Claire hushed and soothed the newborn. Whispering little comforts as she gently bounced her until the cries subsided. Chloe felt a pang of jealously as she effortlessly soothed her baby and lulled her into sleep. Why didn't she know how to do that? Her throat began to feel raw as tears built up behind her eyes. Beca must have noticed because she was closer to Chloe's side rubbing little circles onto her hand. It didn't help because the tears made their way down Chloe's face leaving little tracks in their wake for more to follow.
"Oh sweetie, don't cry." Claire told her. Chloe watched through fuzzy eyes, her placing Nella in the clear bassinet. She made her way back up to Chloe and sat down next to her on the bed. " I've had practice, I've had four babies. No one is expecting you to know what to do right off the bat."
She ran a hand through Chloe's greasy hair. She hadn't had a chance to shower yet. "But I'm her mommy." Chloe whispered as more tears built up. She looked down at her lap where Nella once lay and played at the hospital blanket. They were all stained a little with after birth but Chloe tried to ignore it.
"And you are going to be a great mommy, I promise." She whispered to Chloe and gave her a small peck on her temple. Chloe snuggled a little into the older woman. She sniffles a bit as she tried to keep her sobs at bay. Beca once again stood a little awkwardly unsure of her place.
They moved Chloe into an actual room a few hours later. She was asleep for it. Claire refused to allow them to wake her up. It was fine though, the hospital beds have wheels so they simply rolled her in. They took Nella to the nursery for the time being. Beca sat uncomfortably in the plastic chair at the edge of Chloe's bed, her mother had claimed the cushioned one. They'd sat in silence for nearly two hours before her mother broke it.
"I'm going down to get a coffee, do you want anything Becs?" she asked pulling herself up from the armchair. Beca shook her head. "Suit yourself" Claire muttered as made her way out of the room.
Her mother was only gone 3 minutes and Chloe woke up. Her eyes were still heavy and she still seemed exhausted. Well she did just have a baby Beca reminded herself. She looked over at Beca and gave her a small smile before looking around for the bassinet. She seemed to panic a bit when she couldn't spot it.
"Don't panic, they just took her down to the nursery so you could get some rest." Beca informed her quickly.
"Oh" was all Chloe said."Can I get her out of the nursery?" She asked looking at Beca.
"Why don't you wait a few minutes, you just woke up" Beca suggested.
"I miss her." was all Chloe said but she didn't push to have the baby brought to her any sooner.
"Have you told any of the guys in school that she has made her appearance?" Beca asked with a little grin hoping to lighten the mood slightly.
"No, I've been too busy staring at her to get any nice photos. When she comes back will you get a cute photo of us, so I can send it people?" Chloe asked sweetly, a smile finding its way onto her face.
"Of course I will." Beca promised. Chloe giggled.
"Oh Chloe you're up." Claire noticed as she walked back into the room. There was a coffee in her hand and two water bottles tucked under her arm.
"I am. When did they move me here?" She asked looking around at her surrounding a bit more.
"About two hours ago." Beca offered and Claire nodded. She passed Beca and Chloe each the water bottles.
"Two hours? Nella is probably really lonely for that long, can we please get her Becs. She probably hungry too." Chloe whined, her panic returning slightly.
"Don't panic. I'll go grab a nurse and ask them to bring her to you." Claire informed. Chloe's nerves settled a bit knowing her baby was being brought to her.
It took fifteen minutes but the nurse wheeled her in and placed her into Chloe's ready to accept arms. Nella gave a few noises of complaint but quickly settled into her mother's arms.
"You should try and feed her if you can. If you have any more troubles getting her to latch just call on one of the nurses." The nurse commented as she signed off a piece of paper on the end of Nella's bassinet.
Chloe blushed remembering the struggle they'd had getting her to feed earlier. There had been three nurses helping Chloe get a proper hold on Nella and repositioning her when she wouldn't feed and one nurse who was a little to forceful in physically pushing Chloe's boob into the baby's face.
She waited for the nurse to leave before unbuttoning the top of her gown. Beca cringed a little at how nonchalant Chloe was with pulling her boob out. Nella began to fuss again. She wouldn't latch on at all and Chloe was getting a little frustrated.
"It's okay sweetie. Beca would only feed for me when she had nothing on but a diaper." Claire informed her. "Do you wanna try that?"
Beca looked a little annoyed that her mom was sharing that story but Chloe was too desperate to care. Chloe nodded softly and began to strip the baby.
"Just lie back a little and place her on your chest." Claire ordered softly and Chloe did as told. She felt Nessa rustle around a little until she found the nipple but she still didn't latch on. "Now carefully just rub the nipple against her lips and hopefully she'll do it herself"
Once again Chloe did as told and let out a little gasp when she actually clamped on. Claire smiled proudly and Beca felt a little intrusive. They stayed like that for 15 minutes before Nella decided she was done. Chloe grabbed the burp cloth from the foot of the bed and began to softly pat the baby's back.
Beca stared at her bewildered. She hadn't known Chloe very long, 8 months really, but she almost seemed like a different person. She wasn't quirky Chloe, who came into her room late at night with weird celebrity conspiracies she'd found online and wanted Beca's input on them anymore. She was Chloe,the mom and Beca wasn't too sure how she felt about that.
"Will you take our picture please Beca?" Chloe asked sweetly with a smile that Beca would do anything for.
"Of course." Beca replied picking Chloe's phone off the bedside dresser. She typed in Chloe's passcode and opened the camera app. Chloe held the diaper clad Nella proudly in her arms beaming for the camera whilst Beca snapped a few pictures.
Beca showed her the photos. Chloe grimaced a bit and giggled at her unruly appearance. "Thank you Beca." Chloe said with a smile before taking the phone back off her and started composing a text.
Beca got a notification from the group chat. Chloe had sent the photo there with the caption;
Welcome to the world Nella Mae.
It didn't take long before messages came spewing in.
Aubrey: OMG! Chloe she's adorable. What hospital are you in?
Fat Amy: I see she's an exhibitionist like her mum. Congrats Chlo
Stacie: OMIGOD SHE IS FINALLY HERE. I'M VISITING ASAP
Cynthia-Rose: She's so tiny Chloe! Hope you are both doing okay, congratulations!
Jessica: Congratulations, so happy for you.
"I think they're excited." Chloe told Beca after her phone buzzed for the fifth time.
"They should be." Beca informed her and Chloe smiled. "You should probably get Nella back in some clothes though."
Chloe looked down at the baby that was nuzzled comfortably against her chest. "I guess so." Chloe mumbled. She didn't like to move Nella all that much when she seemed comfy. If she were to start wailing again Chloe would most certainly start too.
Gently Chloe lifted the baby off her chest and lay her down at the foot of the bed. Chloe found the discarded outfit littered around the sheets from when she stripped her and carefully redressed her. Claire watched attentively, almost proud.
In a way Nella was her granddaughter and not just Beca's best friends kid. If it wasn't for Claire, Chloe would have no idea where she would be right now. The woman had a kinder heart than anyone Chloe knew. She can't think of a single person who would take a completely helpless stranger into their home. She knew it was because Claire felt pity on her. That's she had been in the same situation before and had no one to help her and she wasn't going to let Chloe suffer the same fate.
Chloe did miss her real family from time to time and she knew deep down that if they were to apologise she'd forgive them almost instantly. That's just wishful thinking though. The shame Chloe would bring would far overshadow the love for their daughter, and granddaughter now. The hurt of their abandonment still stung, even if it was over 8 months ago.
Claire understood though. She had Beca's older brother Brandon when she was 16, just one year younger than Chloe. Her dad wouldn't accept it and refused to let her back in the house. Shut her out, forbade her siblings from talking to her, stripped her from her inheritance. She was isolated. Her heart would never allow another young woman go through the same ordeal.
Beca didn't like it at the beginning. Some random junior in her school joining her at the breakfast table and her rides to school in the morning. But Chloe grew on her. More than grew really. She was enchanted by her.
Chloe knew that she had probably overstayed her welcome. Nella is here now, Claire can't afford another mouth to feed on top of Chloe was a hotel maid salary. She was too afraid to leave though. She loved Claire's house. It was warm and welcoming, that's where she wanted Nella to grow up, not in the spacious halls of her parents home or the dirty streets of Atlanta. It was a conflict that Chloe knew she'd have to face but never really wanted to get to.
Chloe finished dressing Nella back in her simple lime one piece. Claire bought most of the clothes for her. Chloe had very little money of her own. She gave Nella a light kiss on her forehead before looking over at Beca.
"Do you wanna hold her?" Chloe asked looking over at Beca. Chloe had very much hogged the baby, justly so in her opinion. Beca hadn't held her yet. Beca looked a little shocked. Her body stiffened and her face was gaping. All of her body language told Chloe that Beca didn't want to hold this baby. But a small "okay" escaped her mouth and her arms jerked out almost robotically.
Chloe chuckled at Beca's awkwardness and passed her over Nella. Beca's mouth made a little 'o' as the full weight of the tiny baby was sat on her arms. "Watch her neck" was all Chloe told her before sitting upright to get a better look at Beca.
Beca looked down at the babe. All she seemed to do was sleep, Beca thought. She was awake 10 minutes ago when Chloe fed her but that milk seemed to have knocked her out cold because know matter how much Beca rearranged her arms to hold her more comfortably she remained asleep.
Her features were so tiny. She was completely bald too, most baby's come out with at least some hair but not Nella. Beca thinks she'll end up ginger like her mom. She looks a bit like Chloe too. Different noses though, Nella's is a lot more petite.
"I think she is the smallest baby I have ever seen." Beca said finally. "Her butt fits in my hand."
Chloe giggles. "Most of her clothes are too big too."
"Okay Beca don't hog her, I want a shot too." Claire said standing up from the arm chair and walking to the opposite side of the bed.
"She's coming home with us, you can hold her whenever." Beca mumbled but handed the baby over to her mother.
They're keeping Chloe overnight. She wasn't really paying much attention when they explained why. Something to do with monitoring her care of Nella and unfortunately the others couldn't stay. Claire tried her hardest to persuade the nurses and doctors to allow her to spend the night in the arm chair but alas hospital policies would never allow for that.
She had a quick shower before Claire had to leave and was for once disgusted and how her body looked. It was kind of freaky looking at her stomach that once held her daughter sag limply close to her knees. It was gross. She tried to be as quick as possible before heading back outside to the others.
The hospital showers were gross.
"You'll be fine sweetheart, just call my phone if you have any problems and I'll try and coach you. And I'm sure the nurses will help you, if needs be." Claire told Chloe. Chloe gave a small smile and sat down on the bed. Her insides still ached from the early morning.
Beca looked at the clock. Fifteen more minutes until visiting hours are up. "Are you nervous?" Beca asked her, she saw from the corner of her eye her mother glaring at her.
"Em, yeah, a little bit. I'll be fine though." Chloe said playing with her pajamas, finally having rid herself of the gross hospital gown.
"Of course you will your Chloe Beale." Beca encouraged. Chloe gave her a small smile but Beca had doubts on its sincerity.
"You guys can head now if you want. I'm just going to feed her and hope in knocks her out for a while." Chloe informed them as she began to strip Nella of her clothes. It was still the easiest way to get her to feed.
"Okay, if that's what you want. Remember call me, I won't mind if it's at like 4 in the morning." Claire told her and gave Chloe a kiss on her damp head. She hand it pulled up into a messy bun. Chloe didn't once doubt any of the words she said. "Goodbye sweet girl, I'll see you in the morning to bring you home." She cooed and pinched at Nella's stomach were a build up of chunks were.
"Bye Chloe, we'll be here first thing." Beca promised and gave Chloe a hug hyper aware that she could inflicting any sort of pain onto her without meaning to do so.
"Bye guys. We love you both." Chloe told them. She waved using Nella's tiny hand, it was curled up into a fist.
"We love you too, bye dear." Claire said and Beca mumbled love you too before they both headed out the door.
Thankfully Nella was getting the hang of the whole being fed thing and Chloe didn't have any struggle getting her to eat.
"I love you sweet girl." Chloe repeated as she rocked the baby back and forth lightly patting her butt in rhythm. "Everyone's gonna be so excited to meet you. I love you."
Nella eventually fell asleep feeding and Chloe redressed her. She couldn't quiet swaddle her as tight as the midwife had but she done an okay job. She placed her in the bassinet next to her and she herself eventually fell asleep.