The Thing Beyond the Kitchen Sink
Rachel looked around her room and sighed deeply. She smiled as she saw that it was left unchanged; the Broadway posters were still plastered all over the wall, her musical memorabilia still neatly placed on her shelf and even her sheets and pillow cases were still the same awfully girlish color. She decided that maybe it was because her fathers liked to keep it that way, the same as when she left it, so it will be welcoming upon her return from college. She shook her head.
It was despairing to know that she only came back from college to get her last remaining clothes and not to stay. She felt a strange sense of sadness as she saw her fathers' crestfallen faces when they received the news but Rachel had made a choice. Lima could not house someone with a talent as big as hers. New York was best possible location to launch her career. She had prepared a long speech to give to her fathers about leaving and as always they listened intently without much interruption and question. She was rather shocked to discover that they accepted it and took the news better than she thought considering that they both had an inability to let go of things.
Her fathers have already taken out some boxes and they've helped her pack. They let her pack a few unnecessary things like her elliptical, their microwave oven, her radio and her laptop despite Rachel's re-assurances that she will be the one to purchase things for her new apartment.
"Divalicious, I swear that if you don't hurry up, your father is going to pack the kitchen sink and Santana is going to cut you," Kurt drawled as he entered her room. Rachel looked up and smiled fondly at the fashionably-clad boy who was now examining his nails with utmost interest.
"Be patient. Packing for a trip as significant as this requires precise and extensive care which I expect for neither you nor Santana to understand," Rachel said as she began to neatly arranged CDs inside a brown box.
Kurt stooped over and picked up one.
"Wicked? Hm…..let me borrow this and I'll convince San to take a pill," Kurt said.
"Be my guest," Rachel smiled.
"Rachel?"
They both turned to find Rachel's dad—oh, wait daddy (Kurt always confuses the two)—who was holding a plasma screen TV in his hands, staggering every now and then from the weight.
"Daddy!" Rachel yelped standing up.
"Hey baby! Just thought that a TV is really expensive and since you and your friends will be the one who'll spend for everything we got you this," he smiled setting the TV down.
Rachel smiled trying to fight back the tears in her eyes.
"That was completely unnecessary Daddy," Rachel said giving her father a hug.
"No baby it was. Sometimes I forget that you're already out of college and now you're all grown up. Moving out and buying your own furniture with your friends. This might be the last time that I might ever get to buy you something," he said practically choking in tears.
Rachel patted his back before giving him a kiss.
"Aw….you're making me cry," Rachel said.
"Um…Mr. Berry no offense but crying actually increases wrinkles. Gay to gay warning," Kurt suddenly piped up from behind. Rachel glared at him, completely irritated to be interrupted at such a moment although she knew that Kurt meant no malice.
"Really? Because I've read in Vogue that crying releases stress therefore stress release slows aging," Daddy said in surprise breaking free from his hug.
"That was totally faux. Even Anna Wintour bombed it and totally dissed the writer," Kurt informed.
"Really?" Dad said.
Rachel rolled her eyes. Really, she will never understand gay people despite living with two for all her life.
"Well….I'm going to leave you and Kurt now. Me and Dad will be waiting downstairs," he said as he lugged the TV back.
"Total Disney Moment," Kurt whistled the moment her Daddy left.
"Hey, me and Santana had to endure two hours of crying when you said goodbye to your dad," Rachel said wryly.
"Hmm….keen observation. Anyway, unless you want your dad to tear the kitchen sink then I suggest you hurry up," Kurt said.
"And who are you to complain? Now, we don't have to spend for a microwave and a plasma TV which I might add are extremely expensive," Rachel said as she gathered the last batch of CDs.
"Please. The microwave doesn't even match my pre-planned design for our kitchen," Kurt scoffed as he left the room.
Rachel arranged all the CDs into their musical genres before sealing the box with duct tape and labeling it with a bright red marker "CD COLLECTION". She was about to lug it downstairs when Santana came in looking extremely annoyed.
"Bitch, you've been here for an hour. You done yet?" she demanded.
"I would go faster if you didn't use such crude language on me," Rachel said.
"Sorry, mom but I swear if you make me wait any more then I will unleash my famous bitch slap," Santana said jokingly.
"I'd like to see you try," Rachel chuckled.
"You've got guts," Santana snickered.
Rachel sighed and laughed. Santana laughed with her and gave her a quick butt slap before she quickly helped Rachel and together they brought the box downstairs where both of Rachel's fathers were standing looking very bleary-eyed. Rachel went over to both of them and they both hugged her in a choking manner.
"Be sure to have your rape whistle in hand," Dad said as he nuzzled against her head.
"Always lock the doors in your apartment," Daddy said in a choked whisper.
"I will Daddy and I promise that me, Kurt and Santana will take the road with utmost caution," Rachel said. Santana rolled her eyes.
After a few more minutes of hugs and tearful goodbyes Santana and Rachel hauled up the last few boxes in the trunk of Kurt's car before stepping inside.
"Finally. I thought we'd never leave," Santana said pulling up a pair of shades.
"Same here. My fathers do have a tendency to drag things quite longer than necessary," Rachel said as she pulled up a pair of her own sunglasses.
"Reminds me of someone I know," Santana said wryly looking at her. Rachel stuck her tongue out.
"Okay….road check. Divalicious do we have the healthy, non-fattening and skin friendly chips and drinks?" Kurt said as he pulled a pair of aviators up.
"Check," Rachel said.
"Darling, do we have the awesome road kill music?" Kurt demanded using his pet name for Santana.
"What?" Santana said cluesslessly (and a bit bitchily).
"Forget it. Trust a bitch to not get things right," Kurt said rolling his eyes as he uploaded a CD in.
"Please Gay, I'm wetting my skirt. Can we go now?" Santana demanded.
"NY here we come!" Kurt yelled as he revved the engine up.
…
It was funny how her friendship with Kurt and Santana started. Santana and Rachel became roommates in college. It was rocky start but they gradually became friends. Kurt started going to their dorm room during the second semester since his roommate wasn't all that welcoming as he brought at least a dozen girls into their room every day to do the most unpleasant (and sexual) things and they were the only people he knew. The three soon formed a solid friendship over the college years.
Rachel found out that Kurt had preferred to stay in Lima as his father could not afford to send him to New York while Rachel had revealed that her Dad had a recent operation therefore they had no choice but to send her to Lima. Santana had just said that this was always her plan and she had no plans of leaving Lima soon.
Kurt and Rachel however had NY dreams and together they vowed to go to New York the moment college is done. They tried to convince Santana who wasn't too eager to go with them but she finally caved and gave in. They all saved up and pooled all their savings to buy an apartment. They still have some leftover money and Kurt had taken it upon himself, that the moment they arrived in New York they would go furniture shopping.
All their parents had provided them an essential or another. Kurt's dad gave them two sofas although Kurt complained that it will clash with the design he planned. Santana's parents had bought them some mattresses and Rachel's fathers had given her a lot of useful (and expensive) appliances.
"Hey Ray, do you have any idea how the apartment will look like?" Santana asked.
Rachel frowned at the nickname. Santana had decided that Rachel was a name too long and not worthy of her saliva so she decided to call her Ray. Rachel disliked the nickname as she usual preferred to be called by her full name or if it needs to be shortened then Rach would suffice but as usual Santana doesn't bother with any of her requests.
"I must admit I am oblivious to what our apartment would look like," Rachel frowned.
"We all are," Kurt said lowering his shades.
They had been scouting of an apartment within their budget and Kurt found one. It was a little disheartening when the manager refused to show them a photo and Santana was on the verge of backing out when Kurt used his super gay Queen skills and Rachel used her mind boggling vocabulary that they managed to convince her again.
Truth to be told Santana didn't have that much interest in New York. Rachel wanted to be in Broadway and Kurt (surprisingly not a musical career) wanted to make it big in the fashion world (he once toyed with idea that he and Mercedes would be partners but Mercedes was now in Europe studying in prestigious school or something).
She took up Psychology because it was what, what her parents wanted her to do and not because she really liked it. The idea of a shrink was not very entertaining but Rachel and Kurt had somehow managed to convince her that going to New York would be a once in a lifetime opportunity and if she wanted to become a celebrity therapist than the best way to establish herself was in New York. Santana knew that the competition for a job in New York was killer but she decided that it would be a much more exhilarating to be living in the city of dreams with her two best friends (yes they're her best friends now) than to be stuck in Lima where she could be within her parent's reach, listening to other people's problems.
The entire drive to New York was fun. Santana made Rachel do a booty dance inside the car despite Rachel's protests while Kurt was driving and after that Kurt and Rachel started singing Celine Dion. They snacked on some of the chips Rachel provided them and they all took turns driving although Kurt was resistant at first at the thought of anyone driving his "Baby" but after nearly ramming a truck Santana forcefully took the wheel from him.
…
"Here we are," Kurt said.
Rachel and Santana both sat up, still groggy from their sleep, as they examined the tall towering buildings of New York. Santana's eyes were as round as saucers as she saw the excruciatingly long line of traffic and the flood of people walking to and fro while Rachel's eyes cast a dreamy look as she stared at the tall buildings.
"Crap! This place is….,'' Santana's voice trailed off as she continued to gaze into the towering buildings. New York was not as she expected. She had seen it in TV and movies but they were far from what the TV projected them to be.
Kurt unexpectedly said nothing as he was still groggy from lack of sleep. Despite being forcefully removed from the wheel by Rachel and Santana Kurt was still wary about them driving and he slept for a total of about only one hour before going into a nasty bitch fight with Santana as to who will drive. Rachel who was driving became nervous and pulled over and intervened both of them. Kurt won since Santana was too irritated to argue anymore and Rachel was just plain tired to intervene for both of them.
Rachel couldn't keep her grin down as she saw all those Broadway posters and billboards and images of her singing on stage and receiving a Tony seemed just a step closer. Behind her was an awestruck Santana and Rachel guessed that she has never been to New York yet. Kurt has told her that he's been here once while Rachel had been here numerous times since her fathers usually took her here for her birthday.
As they passed by from one building to another Rachel's heart beat faster in anticipation of their new apartment. Anyone of those buildings could be the place she and her best friends (yes, surprisingly she called them best friends) would be living in. But after passing a wave of different buildings Kurt had not stopped at all and they were driving deeper into a less glamorous neighborhood.
Rachel fidgeted as she saw that the tall stunning buildings were subsequently replaced by degrading short brick buildings with creepy, tucked alleyways where men with black-smudged faces and disgusting, grubby and greedy hands sparked to life instantly at any sign of a female being.
She looked at Santana who looked very pissed and no doubt about it she was having regrets about their purchase of the apartment. They don't say much mostly because Rachel is busy trying to imagine how un-starlike their new apartment might be, Santana was fuming in her mind at the total crap of a neighborhood Hummel chose (and he better pray that the apartment looks better) and Kurt was trying his best to think of a quick escape route from two possibly angry girls once they see the apartment because he feels that it pretty much speaks for itself from the neighborhood.
"Well, this is it," Kurt said going into a basement parking area of a brick building.
"You better pray Queen that the apartment wouldn't want to make me gouge my eyes," Santana said leaning towards him in a very intimidating tone.
"Nonsense Santana! We can't make hasty judgments until we've seen the apartment unit itself," Rachel said jumping to Kurt's defense.
"Yeah. What she said," Kurt said as he pulled over a parking space. Between the two he had to admit that he and Rachel were closer simply because they understood each other better. Although he knew that Rachel was feelings as royally pissed as Santana was, she took her friendships seriously.
"Please Ray, the neighborhood looks like the capital of murder City. It's pure shit," Santana snapped.
"On the contrary I think it's rather lovely despite its rough exterior," Rachel said weakly.
Suddenly something thumped against the left window and they both turned to find a man who seemed to be in a drunken stupor carrying a bottle of Jack. Rachel yelled and Kurt screamed gayishly while Santana was the only one to act less girlish, fearlessly flinging the door open, propelling the man away.
They all scrambled outside where the man returned looking furious. The man tried to grab Rachel where he was stopped by Kurt who whacked him with his Gucci bag. Rachel then proceeded to kick him in the groin and she quickly jammed her rape whistle into his eye.
When the man was finally overpowered Santana looked at Rachel and scoffed, "Nice neighborhood?"
…
"This. Is. Total. Shit," Santana said the moment Kurt flung the door open.
Rachel for once was rendered speechless while Kurt had the strong desire to disappear.
The apartment was totally as Santana described it. The walls had peeling paint, the floor was covered in a dingy carpet that smelled like urine and the air inside it seemed to be suffocating.
"I will murder you," Santana said turning at Kurt.
"And I will decapitate you!" Rachel hissed no longer holding her temper.
Kurt held his hands up in defeat and said soothingly, "It just needs some upholstering. Don't worry."
"If I have known that we'd be living in a rat hole I would have blasted you to kingdom come before we left," Santana said grumpily.
"Stop being such prima donnas. I know that our living conditions are hardly befitting for people as glamorous as us but what do you expect with our budget?" Kurt said entering the apartment and fingering the walls.
"Kurt is right. It is to be expected seeing that we bought this rather cheaply. We'll just have to work on it and make it seem more livable," Rachel said calming down.
Yes, she was annoyed that a budding Broadway star such as her would be forced to live in a place as disgusting as this but she was in New York and that was the only thing that mattered. Their living conditions were just a simple block in her plan to stardom. No doubt about it that it would make a good story in the future of how she used to struggle before rising up to fame and amassing wealth and money.
"Right on Divalicious," Kurt said grateful that Rachel wasn't angry anymore. Santana's features softened up a little.
"Before we do any design making we obviously need to tidy this place up," Rachel said sounding disgusted as her feet dug into the carpet.
"Which includes buying shitloads of paint….," Santana murmured eyeing the crappy paint job.
"And throwing this horrendous carpet out of the window," Kurt said wrinkling his nose.
They examined the apartment a bit more and they found that there were three rooms as the manager promised although one room was slightly smaller than the two and one room had a bathroom. Rachel and Santana immediately decided that Kurt was to get the smallest room seeing as he was the one who bought them the place.
"You two didn't complain when I told you that he wouldn't show me a picture," Kurt grumbled as he stared into his room.
It was small and just like the living room it had a bad paint job and the floor was covered with a moth eaten carpet.
The next one was who was to get the room with the bathroom. Rachel and Santana played rock, paper, scissors and Santana won. Rachel looked annoyed that she wouldn't have her own bathroom but she finally relented. They all spent the rest of the morning checking out their surroundings. The living room and kitchen were just next to each other and there was only one other bathroom which was to the left of the living room. All in all the apartment was relatively small.
"At least my bathroom isn't as shitty as I expected," Santana said as they ate their burgers in the Kurt's car. They had decided not to eat in the apartment since something smelled funny and there were no tables and chairs so they had to sit on the carpet and that was not an option.
"The other bathroom looks passable too although I must say that sharing a bathroom with Kurt is not very enjoyable," Rachel said as she ate carefully unwrapped the plastic covering her burger.
"Oh sweet Gucci! At least you have rooms that don't house midgets! Ugh," Kurt said carefully gnawing his way through his veggie burger.
"Hey it only makes it fair. I mean you are the odd one out," Santana said.
"The horrors of being gay," Rachel joked.
"Whatever. All I know is, we better start fixing that place up otherwise I will weep tears and beat the crap out of everyone with hairdryer," Kurt said snarkily as he was still annoyed with his room choice.
...
The day had gone on with them fixing the place up. Santana busied herself with chipping the paint off while Kurt and Rachel started hauling the carpets away. Kurt screamed once when his hand touched a brown, gooey substance (which Rachel suspects was poop) from the carpet. After tediously removing all the carpets they started cleaning all the bathrooms.
Kurt swore to himself that he'll take a bath in perfume after his harrowing experience of scrubbing toilets while Rachel contemplated on tearing her nose from her face because of the putrid smell. After cleaning the two bathrooms Kurt and Rachel smiled proudly.
"Well Divalicious we did it. After three agonizing hours for ruining my manicure the bathrooms are squeaky clean. Santana Darling better treat us to Strabucks for the total do over we gave her bathroom," Kurt said as he stared at the squeaky clean tiles.
"Don't be so sure Queen! Chipping of this shit on the wall, not easy! I swear my arms will feel like jelly by tomorrow," Santana yelled from the other living room. Rachel chuckled and they both went outside to find her sitting on the floor covered in sweat.
"Well, don't rest so soon San. We still have the kitchen sink," Rachel said and Santana groaned inwardly.
…
"This is torture! Pure torture!" Santana said as she scrubbed the kitchen sink.
After a few minutes of silence Santana suddenly said, "Hey do you guys smell something?"
"That would be us," Rachel sighed. She was glad that her fathers had made her pack domestic cleaning items.
"How come I can't smell anything?" Kurt demanded.
"Because we've been smelling this disgusting for the past few hours so I expect that we have gotten used to it by now," Rachel said rolling her eyes.
"Wow. You two do have it bad. I do owe you Starbucks," Santana said.
Suddenly Kurt yelled and both Rachel and Santana jumped.
"Queen, that's about the hundredth time you yelled today," Santana said.
"There's something beyond the kitchen sink," Kurt murmured.
Rachel and Santana froze before turning to look at each other slowly.
"What?"
"There its!" Kurt yelped.
They both turned to find nothing.
"What's there?" Rachel asked.
"The thing beyond the kitchen sink!" Kurt squealed.
"Oh for Pete's sake! Okay, Queen calm down. Ray, go borrow bug spray or something from our neighbor," Santana said in a commanding tone.
"And what will you do?" Rachel demanded.
Santana took her heel off and said, "I'll go smash that thing with my bitch heel."
…
Rachel did as Santana told her and left their apartment to go to their neighbor next door. She contemplated if she should ask the right next door neighbor or the left. She did a quick eeny-meeny miney mo before choosing the right door and knocking.
Rachel heard a yell which was no doubt Kurt's and another one which sounded like….Santana? That was strange. Santana was never afraid of anything. She shook her head and chuckled. She had a feeling that living with the two of them would be quite an experience.
She knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. After about the three minutes Rachel decided that maybe no one was home when suddenly the door open and out came a man with a fantastic build, all wet, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist with that all too familiar smirk and green eyes.
"Noah?' Rachel gaped.
…
So I wrote another story while still finishing my other story but don't worry. I will finish the other one. I just couldn't help but write this one since it wouldn't leave my mind. This will be a quickie only taking up about seven to ten chapters. Oh, and for those who read my other story: The Babysitter's Club, next update will be next week. Please review!