Disclaimer:

Obviously I don't own DC.

And.. I quoted a song from the Corrs "What Can I Do", it's not mine either :)

I haven't slept at all in days

It's been so long since we've talked

I have been here many times

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong...

It's raining outside, and it's dark. The clocked showed it's 7 p.m and the house seemed empty with no lights on. But Ai wouldn't bother to try moving her body any further from her room that cold evening. All she did was just pull up her cover tighter to warm her small figure on the bed. She had been there long before the sun set and she wouldn't much care of how long she would remain staying there, just doing nothing.

Her room is not too dark though, the lightning flashed between the rain and brought some brightness sometimes. Ai stared upon the window, but her eyes were blank. Her mind traveled from one place to another quite for some time. First she saw her days of torture in the organization, then it shifted to her onee-chan's smiling happily to her, and then Gin's face. On one blink it all turned to her days in her new school, her friends, her new life, and him.

The thoughts of him had just made her stomach jolted for a brief second.

She looked up through her window to search for her old best friends, her comfort. Her eyes narrowed as it's difficult to see through the rain. There's no stars that evening, but she smiled. How the thought of him just reminded her of the stars, for both shared the equal beauty, and... distance.

Both were impossible to reach.

What can I do to make you love me?

She planned to skip the dinner and wanted to just shut her eyes and fall asleep, but she wasn't sleepy yet. She sighed.

She heard somebody came to her house, and the front door opened, and the lamp on the living room was on. But she stayed still, tighten her embrace of her pillow. Somebody was going to ruined her perfect melancholy time and she didn't like it.

"Haibara, are you in there?" yelled a certain boy from right outside her room. The house was now bright again.

"She's asleep," mumbled the strawberry blond from between her pillow.

"What? I thought people don't speak while they're asleep," replied the boy, "and- what time is it, 8 p.m? You won't be sleeping at 8 p.m., Haibara."

The girl didn't reply, and the boy didn't say anything more either. The rain pour was all they could hear.

"Have you eaten yet?" asked the boy again.

"Probably, but not possibly," said the girl lazily. She heard the boy sighed.

"Come on, I'll make you dinner," said the boy in a sudden gentle voice, "it'll be ready soon so you better come out."

She heard footsteps faded away and it slipped in her mind to just ignore him and continue her sleeping act. He'd probably give up and decide to leave her alone and give her some time for herself. But she knew that there would be no chance for it, so she lazily obeyed and stepped outside her room for the first time that evening, with pillow in hands.

By the time Ai reached the sofa, she heard noises from the kitchen.

"I don't know you can cook dinner," said Ai in her usual tone, "Kudo-kun."

"You haven't been eaten all day, right? You should eat some," replied the boy from the other room, ignoring the question. He's being some wise-ass smarty pants, she'd like to say, but she held herself. Well, she did eat something that day. She just didn't eat much. She just lost her appetite.

"You don't have to come here though," pouted Ai, but her voice was barely heard. She hug her pillow harder and rested her head on it, as if she didn't expect his visit.

"You'll get sick," was all he could say to the girl. He brought one rather big omelet on a plate and a glass of water and put it over the table in front of her. Ai's head lifted a little to see what kind of dinner the detective made. It was... nothing special.

"Scrambled egg..." Ai said, holding back a chuckle.

"What?" asked the boy in annoyed look, "I tried hard to make it in good shape, don't blame me if the yolk is kinda messed up."

Ai let out a smile escape her lips, seeing him upset like that. The egg wasn't that bad, though. The aroma of the fried egg he made had somehow made her hungry for the first time. She just realized that she'd been starving. She's silently grateful for his coming that night, but she wouldn't say it out loud.

Conan took a seat on the sofa beside her as Ai started to eat. Neither of them speak a word. She felt that he was staring at her at some point, and she felt some heat trails to her cheeks. Ugh, how she hated it every time it happened. Ai wanted to say something to break that awkward silence, but she held herself. She glanced at him instead.

The boy was indeed staring, but not at her. He looked all that melancholy all of a sudden, and she admitted that it happened almost everytime lately. The great Shinichi Kudo would never let himself fall in grief. Never, except for one thing. And she understood it perfectly.

What can I do to make you care?

So, she's back to her egg and continued her dinner, waiting for the boy to talk if he'd like to. He needed it more than she did anyway.

"You missed the school today," pointed Conan finally.

Ai was impressed that he chose that as a start, "So what?" was all she could say in return without looking at him. Are you worrying about me, Kudo-kun? She thought, but she prefer to consider it as "too hypothetical".

"Seriously, what happen to you? You're not sick," said Conan in disappointment. At this point, Ai started to think that he might actually worried about her. "You're acting like someone who has been rejected, or break up or something..." he added.

She smiled, she couldn't help it. How could he come to a weird conclusion like that.

"You know, like Ran..."

Her heart jolted, her smile disappeared.

She should've known that he wanted to talk about her.

"Things had been so much worse since she dated that bastard from her college..." said Conan in a low voice, he rested his head backwards, his left hand covered his eyes. Like he was carrying a huge burden and he couldn't take it.

Ai tried to remember when it happened since he mentioned that boyfriend. Three months and two weeks ago, she could tell. It was all raining, like that night, and Conan was drenched in rain when he reached Professor's house, panting, and in rage. Ai could swear that she had seen a ghost that time. Then he abruptly go inside and locked himself in an empty room beside the kitchen, and didn't go out until the next day. He was broken.

And now, though he's pretty much in control already, it's obvious that he's not yet healed. Not fully.

What can I say to make you feel this?

Ai continued returned to her egg, but she'd let herself listen to his every whine.

"Like tonight, she's on the phone for, like, hours. And she didn't care that I was there. Even when I ask her for dinner."

"Don't be silly, you're not a first grader anymore. She thinks you'd be able to handle yourself."

"I know, but..." he paused, "I thought I'd be able to distract her from her friggin boyfriend and start being normal again like the way she used to be..."

Ai was almost lost control of her composure, hearing all of his childish selfishness. You idiot...

"What if she'd really forget about me and fallen in love with that guy, you know, for real?" he looked into Ai's eyes, looking for answer. His face was serious.

Ai wanted to tell her to let go, but she paused to think. All this time, she knew him enough, as a person who would die to protect something or someone precious to him, as someone who knew no surrender, and as someone who didn't have a clue about love.

What can I do to get you there?

She stared at her plate, unsure of how to spit her mind out.

"Do you..." said Conan to catch her attention, "...have someone who you love?"

It was too sudden and Ai was caught off guard, "Wh.. What?"

"Do you ever love someone so much that nothing can destroy your feeling, even if... Even if he's with another woman?"

He rephrased it well, she must say. But she couldn't answer it, not with his solemn look on his eyes. Ai wanted to find something to dodge the subject, but she couldn't find any. She felt her heart's racing for unknown reason.

She breathed for a while.

Then she smiled.

"Yeah, I guess..."

The girl stood up carrying her dishes to the kitchen, still smiling. It was a smile that Conan couldn't understand. Sweet, but sad at the same time. Something then struck him somehow. Like lightning. He felt his heart skipped a beat.

So, she does have somebody...

Conan gulped. "Who is it...?"

Ai paused for a brief second, then she continue to walk away.

"Just a certain stupid detective."

He frozed.

"Wh.. What? You're kidding right?" said Conan tried to laugh, but he found his mouth was dry, still unsure of what he just heard. He hoped that she's just making fun of him, like she always did. But the beauty that sparked in her smile, the pure honesty that flashed in her eyes, and the sweetness in her voice...

Before he knew it, she disappeared before the shadow.

That night, the rain had stopped.

He gazed upon the stars on the night sky. The clouds had gone by then.

There was no wind, no noises. Everything's silent, except his mind. The puzzle about a certain strawberry blond had slowly begun to form. It really took him so long to understand that, he started to admit it. He might be famous for his ability to crack every detail and solve every tricky case, but not this particular matter. He was dumb, and blind. And he knew it.

The stars kept still, blinking as they pleased, as if talking to the boy.

The boy blinked, titled his head for a bit to gaze in a better angle. And then he realized something.

"Have you been lonely?"

She slept peacefully under her blanket, though it's not her nature to sleep that early. But she deserved it anyway. For the first time, gazing upon the stars wasn't one of her routine for that night. She's just too tired to tell them her secrets, her unanswered questions, and her story of the painful struggle to keep her feeling. Like she always did all this time.

But now it didn't matter at all, she didn't need them. She knew that she would survive.

She had her love.

Maybe there's nothing more to say,

And in a funny way I'm calm

Because the power is not mine

I'm just gonna let it fly...

THE END